gamers during the pandemic

 It might not surprise you that gaming during the pandemic is a popular option - since we were all confined to our houses for a good long time. Has it helped us or hurt us? Let's find out.

Photo by IndieWire

Most gamers are not isolated and living in their parents' basements, so if you assumed they are antisocial you are wrong. Online games and Facebook groups centered around video games are connecting people into life-long friendships. There are also different consoles and PC styles to choose from in the video game world. Wii and VR will actually give you physical activity and action. To assume laziness is also incorrect. The ability to sit and relax in a fantasy world for a short time to destress is a benefit to those who enjoy this hobby. For those who have trouble socializing in person, online games and Discord servers make it easier to converse and make friends with fellow gamers and those with similar interests. 

Speaking of servers and online gaming, some people used these to hold parties and weddings, as well as classes. Seriously, you could use discord for classes. Online systems became ways to revamp education (which may have worked for only a small fraction of students, but we all know education was thrown a monkey wrench). Digital communication, though it in no way takes the place of physical contact, was the only way to create community during the lockdown. Gamers had the edge to keep in contact with close friends while other people clawed their walls in frustration (metaphorically, I hope). 

Popular Online Games

Photo by Polygon.com

The games that did this the most were Animal Crossing, Super Smash Brothers, Minecraft, Discord servers, Roblox, VRChat, and Fortnight. Some YouTubers even did some hilarious videos about their online friends. YouTubers have been replaying old games and posting their playthroughs online all during the pandemic lockdown and even now. I can even link to some channels at the end to show you. 

I know some people are skeptical of DnD (Dungeons and Dragons), but it really is just a storyline-building game that people play in person or over chat apps like Discord. You build a character, have a narrator lead the game (the Dungeon Master or DM), and play the quest or quests before you. It is not an evil thing to do and is so much fun. It creates a friendship circle that may play future quests again, or just go out for lunch after the lockdown ended. Social lives are built on nerding out over hobbies and playing games of any kind. 

A Gaming Comeback

Look at the YouTubers who game and you will find that they did so more during the pandemic lockdown. Boozy Broads, Nancy Drew Walkthroughs, Vote 4 Holt, Arghlfumph, and several others even helped the Nancy Drew games out financially by replaying them and posting the game playthroughs on their channels. While this small, loyal fandom is not well known, it became a bit more popular during the pandemic as people relived their childhood memories. The Herinteractive game company had more sales because of this downtime people discovered in the shutdown. I'd bet that several other companies found their sales boosted by this odd circumstance, too. Bored people will find ways to entertain themselves. If you look around at the commonly bought items in the world you'll find that game components and systems are getting more attention. 

Photo by Vocal

Reality as an adult doesn't leave much time for video games. A pandemic that gives you a reason not to leave the house unless you go to work (unless you work from home) leaves more time for a hobby you want to pursue. Depending on whether you work full or part-time and if you work from a home office, you can use your mental breaks to play games. Given that the government paid some of you for being off work (practically) it let some people relax into some hobbies. Does that mean you can be lazy and not work when the shutdown is over? Nope, but for a time you got a valid excuse to sit with your DS or PC and chill. The video gaming world got a boost in popularity during this strange, unforeseen situation. 

I will put in a word of warning to those who still want to chill at home and not get back into the work world. Can you game in your spare time? Yes, as long as you get your adult responsibility in balance with your destressing time. If your job is to play and create games, great! That is the exception. If not, you need to keep in mind that the government won't pay your rent forever. I care about my readers and want to make sure you are doing well. Pay your rent and grocery bills. Do your adult stuff. Live well because your family and friends care about you. Live long and prosper! *add meme*

Why Video Games Are Not A Waste Of Time

I want to add this section for the purpose of proving videogames are not mere timewasters when you do have it all in balance. Gaming is a hobby in some cases and a career in others. Some even have sponsors for esports and gaming competitions with cash prizes. If you want to pursue esports, you probably need a second job, but you can still go into gaming contests. It isn't completely without profit. It depends on how well you do and the team that you play in the competitions with.

Another reason it isn't a waste of energy is that stress is everywhere. Games take your focus off your stressful day and into another world for a brief period of time. They even target intelligence and different styles of play. Logic and puzzles? Try Professor Layton mysteries and Nancy Drew games. War and first-person shooters? Try Bond games and Call of Duty. Worldbuilding? Try Minecraft and Sims. You have lots of choices, even games that simulate owning a pet or cooking. Heck, you can even play sports on a PC or Xbox. Find what you want and have fun! It can sharpen your memory and hand-eye coordination skills, too. Team games especially will improve communication skills.

I will note that some games even have educational purposes to them, and still play well. I used to play a Reader Rabbit game where you did math at various levels to get boat parts. It was fun and I loved it. I hated math, yet, I loved that game. Video games are a way to get your kids to learn skills they don't like. Treasure Mountain and Gizmos And Gadgets are great educational games; unfortunately finding computers that play those are nearly impossible. Even if that's true, you can find similar gaming experiences when you take a good look around the internet and do research. Parents, it greatly helps those who struggle with a specific topic and love video games. 

Photo by My Abandonware

There is only one way a game has become a time-waster and that is when you play it despite the responsibilities you didn't take care of. This is when you should step back from it, then do everything you neglected to do before you even touch it. I know that gaming can be an addiction, just like any activity or substance under the sun, so keep the adult tasks and downtime gaming balanced. If you find yourself doing what I just described please catch it quick. I believe in you. Should you need to hide your game system for a week, do it. Otherwise, if you don't experience this issue, you are totally fine. 

Here are the links to the YouTubers I like to watch:

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20201215-how-online-gaming-has-become-a-social-lifeline#:~:text=Gaming%20has%20skyrocketed%20during%20the%20pandemic%2C%20reaching%20people%20who'd,an%20American%20business%2Dresearch%20firm.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2021/03/20/video-games-pandemic-friends/

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/how-the-video-game-industry-quietly-powered-through-a-pandemic

https://www.pcmag.com/news/during-the-pandemic-everyone-is-gaming-more-not-just-kids

https://www.theverge.com/2021/1/6/22215786/video-games-covid-19-animal-crossing-among-us

The Christian Fiction Genre Struggle

The Christian genre as a whole is sometimes cheesy, labeled for only conservative families, and generally doesn't appeal to adults that want more depth than a simple bible lesson. I'm not saying there isn't good stuff out there for adults, but I am saying that the secular movies of quality outweigh this genre's quality films. The rules that go into a Christian genre of film or fiction can hold serious writers and screenwriters back. Let's talk about that.

Photo by Roger Ebert

 Tolkien and Lewis are in fantasy, by the way, so think about that one for a split second. While being known for Christian content, they are not even in the genre for their most famous works (technically). Christian audiences tend to be into "safe" TV and G or PG rate their content. Is that wrong for kids? No, but addressing serious issues will cause some of the Christian bubble to rate their stuff R. It upsets people who are dangerously comfortable in safe, Hallmark territory. You don't rock the boat in this genre. Mysteries and thrillers are hard to write if you can't do that.

The danger of getting too comfortable with "safe" TV is that you forget what reality is. It may be an escape from real life (and that is perfectly okay), but I don't want to live there forever. Some Christian audience members bristle at what doesn't fit their comfy, cushioned entertainment. These same people are buying everything that is labeled for Christians. Unfortunately, the entertainment industry knows this and pops out movies that are fake Christianity. At times, they don't even make it quality. Fireproof and Prince of Egypt and several other films like Veggietales and The Passion are exceptions to this rule. That said, be careful what is labeled "Christian" out there. People are trying to get your money for a movie that isn't worth a dollar, most likely ripping off other movies in the process.

The truth about the Bible itself is that it isn't rated G or PG when you get into the Good Book and dig in. The life of David, a man after God's own heart, was rather bloody in nature. He even killed one of his best warriors to get Bathsheba for himself (and paid for it dearly). Furthermore, take a good look at the Kings, Judges, and the prophetic books of the Bible. Even Paul's life was a bit violent. Should we portray every violence in the Bible on film? No. Should we pretend Biblical times were all G-rated? No. There is a line of what to show and not to show to audiences of varied ages. Of course, kids do need to have some of it tempered until they are mature enough. Christian films should go deeper into the Bible while being careful of that line. History should be tastefully and carefully told to us. The sad thing is that most "safe" TV apps would cut out part of that history in the process when they trim the movies for us. 

Photo by Faithlife TV

I am not trying to say that "safe" TV should disappear. I want to make that clear. The app has a place and time. When you want your kids to be okay on their own you set limits on TV, which is perfectly fine to do. No five-year-old or ten-year-old needs to find accidental adult content on their streaming services. Mature people (without addictions), however, don't need to be depending on the guidance of an app that cuts out intense parts of movies. You can skip a scene you can't handle all by yourself. My point? Kids and people with addictions need it, but adults can generally judge for themselves what is within their conscience. As an adult, you should be responsible enough to know what you can't handle and be able to step away from that content. Only in the case of addictions should you need extra support from a Christian app or software, and there is no shame in needing help, so get that help if you need it. Like I said before, there is a time and place for Christian TV apps.

The Rules of the Christian Genre 

Writing within rules that don't allow x, y, or z is sometimes hard. Writers know the struggle of fitting into a mold (any mold), only to have a scene that you loved and thought was important killed for being "too intense". The Christian bubble mostly wants comfort films and TV. Films that made big points were sometimes not truly appreciated by the audience it was aimed at due to the content (abortions, etc...) of darker nature. I don't advocate ignoring or banning films that try to point a mirror at society in any way. Dark being pierced by the light and highlighted serious issues do need to be let into the club if we are truly trying to be truthful in Christ. 

To be set in the Christian genre you have to have Christian themes strongly built into it. It has to be obvious. The wholesome, faith-based content has to be there for you to fit the mold. Your main character has to behave biblically and morally, but the others characters can be total heathens. The writers tend to not make the target audience uncomfortable because the bookstores only stock what readers like. Christian readers are told to not read sex in books, so this virtually rules out sexual content of any kind (even if the authors themselves do write it). I have a whole blog on this topic of sex and Christian fiction, so check that out here. Depending on where you live the genre may shift to conservative views. The bottom line, the writers and filmmakers have to heed their audience. An author may push for intense like Ted Dekker or go for guidepost-y stuff. It varies to a slight degree. The publisher ultimately sets the standards and it may change if you switch to another company. 

The cons of that list are that Christian audiences alone find it, negating the way they are trying to spread the gospel. Here we are preaching to the choir when the world is skipping the genre altogether (even some Christians dislike the Christian fiction section to a degree). Christian writers outside this genre do better because of the lack of rules and amped up creativity. Seriously, Tolkien and Lewis are in fantasy and not here, unless we are talking about Bible study books (we aren't). Another problem here is that portraying real people means that we need to skip the goody-two-shoes characters that Hallmark likes to steal from the Christian genre. Yet, if writers and authors have to fit the genre to be stocked in stores they can't skip that character, which means showing their faith struggle is still harder to do. Addressing sex is nearly impossible (depending on how you do it), so if your character struggles with sexual temptation and has sex that part could get chopped in editing. The major issue I see here is that trying to please the Christian Bubble means not rocking the boat, making it nearly impossible to point a mirror at our Christian Bubble. Making characters border on perfection is also a trend that makes it hard to relate to the character in front of you, which leads to some readers putting the book back on the shelf or returning the movie.

Photo by The Christian Broadcasting Network

The pros for this are that your kids can pick this up and read or watch it without being overly worried about finding sex scenes, too much violence, and getting bad examples. I do read some Christian Bubble mysteries (for pallet cleansers between other books). There are good ones. Much like Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys (though those are secular), you can pick these up and read them in a day with no language, sex, violence, or gore (depending on the Christian publisher standards). I do enjoy a book I can read in one day and cleanse my pallet with. Film-wise, there is the same almost guarantee of wholesome content (usually). Minus the books and movies broadcasting fake Christianity, you are okay to let your kids roam this section of the library without too much stress. Even if they find a terrible quality film. I'm pretty sure they'll find a few good ones and a few badly made ones.  

Christian Films

The real struggle with filming and movies is that bad Christian films have outnumbered the good, high-quality ones. That means the Church is not getting taken seriously in the film industry as a whole. The amount of influence a movie or TV show can have is staggering. I want to challenge Christians who are good filmmakers to get out there and show the world we can make good movies and shows that include Christian struggles and real life. Rise up! I know several excellent filmmakers that have already made good movies and documentaries. Don't let movies like Joshua and The Promised Land or Finding Jesus ruin the reputations of good, quality ones like Prince of Egypt and The Miracle Maker. I'm calling and challenging the Church to put forth the effort and get their work out there. Show me the life of David or Paul in a mini-series. Give the kids an action cartoon of Jesus (with accurate content). The Bible is not a boring book. Go find the story of Elisha and Elijah and the Apostles. 

Photo by Christian Film Review

 Christian genre movies are known for "sanitizing" pop culture movies, which is stealing the concept and making it appropriate for the Christian Bubble. An original plot? No, let's take Fifty Shades of Grey and counter it with a movie about chastity called Old Fashioned. It makes the genre look so bad. While some places have original content, most don't. On top of that, low budgets mean fewer big names, which leads to fewer viewers drawn in. It represents the world not as it is and sometimes avoids all darkness. Films are known for preaching with dialogue, too. If it feels forced and unnatural you are looking at bad writing. Unfortunately for this genre, writing forced and unnatural dialogue to get your point across shows up in the knockoff movies some people make. If you have the choice of a big, well-acted, well-written film and a cheap knockoff that is marketed to Christian families do you choose the knockoff? No! That is precisely why this genre of film has little to no budget - it barely makes anything! 

While I support Veggietales all the way, I can't support cheesy imitations of secular films that will inevitably do worse than the original. We need to fix this! To be fair though, it should be known that Hollywood seldom treats the Christian Bubble well. Christian characters are often portrayed as nuts or off-base. If you want some interesting, big-name films to watch click here. Some of these look good. These were not aimed at Christian Bubbles, either, so that's kind of cool. Check out the behind-the-scenes of Holy Zombie here if you want a non-cheesy storyline by a Christian director. 

Conclusions

I was bored with cheesy, Hallmarky books from a young age. If I got one as a young kid it collected dust. I read dinosaur books, mysteries, romances, and adventure. I was also a gifted reader, avid too. I found "Women's Murder Club" somewhere between Jr. High and High School. I loved Veggietales as a kid, was forced to watch The Passion (which is good), and liked The Chronicles of  Narnia. The Christian genre movies I liked aside, I'd say most of the films and TV shows I enjoyed were secular, even today. Given all this information, you can see that the Christian genre of media, in my opinion, lacks depth. As someone who loves depth in movies and books, I needed more mental challenge than this genre generally gives me. 

To summarize the above, I'll simply say this; the Christian genre of fiction as a whole can do better than this and should be actively trying. I give full credit to those that are. Faith should have depth and be challenged to strengthen us. If you are not seeing that in your family-friendly films that your app deems safe, shut off the app and explore the options out there yourself. While kids and those with addictions may need the guide rails, I'd say that the average adult does not. If you do need those apps and software take advantage of them, please. There is no judgment for that.

Filmmakers, you know what to do. Writers, you can do this! I believe in you all. Go forth and make me proud!

Sources:

 https://www.vox.com/2015/2/15/8038283/christian-movies-bad-old-fashioned-fifty-shades

https://mikefrost.net/christians-in-the-movies-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/

https://www.filmcon.net/post/holyzombie

http://www.cinemablography.org/blog/the-christian-film-genre-a-dangerous-and-pretentious-label

https://australasianchristianwriters.com/fiction-friday-acceptable-content-christian-fiction/

https://www.maryjmoerbe.com/2016/01/13/rules-for-christian-writing/

Arts and Communications and Society

 The arts have penetrated every aspect of our culture and lots of people don't even see it. Today I'm making a logical case for the arts. I have grown up in theatre programs all through my education and I would like to explain what the arts actually are. Allow me to demonstrate.

Photo by Ensia

We all know that funding is hard to come by for anything in education that isn't sports. Theatre and art classes are often the first programs to be cut when the budget gets a little bit tight. Unless the school is an arts academy, you may have seen this happen in your own school experience. I want it to be clear that I am not writing this blog post in order to scream at those who were given no choices on cutting the arts. Finances in public schools and colleges get complicated rather quickly. I would, however, like to encourage those who have the funds to continue the arts to support their programs well. 

What the arts are

The dictionary defines the arts as "the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination" or "painting, music, literature, and dance". Also, it connects to social life and history, by another variation on the definition, or the skill of doing a practiced talent. By all these definitions we can logically judge that we are surrounded by the arts every single day of our lives. 

Visual arts are defined as "the arts created for visual perception", so paintings, graphics, calligraphy, sculpture, decor.......You see my point, I think. Visual arts are all over your homes and workplaces, even to the design of your purses, clothing, and furniture. Someone designed your rug, TV, sofas, ends tables, and everything else you have put on your walls. Photography is an art and you probably have family portraits everywhere. I'm not even naming every possible object - because each product you buy has a graphically designed label. 

Photo by TechCrunch

Our entertainment forms started with theatre. Movies can be traced back to theatres and writing. Most good movies were books before they were screenplays. Your music? It all started with choirs. Dancing? That is an art associated with theatre. You participate in the arts daily. Your favorite Netflix, Hulu, and Disney Plus TV shows and movies are, in fact, just acting in front of a camera or animations with voice-over added. You support the film industry daily, but most forget that there would be no Netflix if the in-person theatre had                                                                                          died long ago. 

Literature is deeply engrained in our education systems and lives. Avid readers like me take in hours of reading daily in almost all genres. We express our emotions, thoughts, and what we want known through our books, blogs, magazines, comic books, texts, emails, and graphic novels, and I could go on about writing forms. Whether you are reading a visual or text novel or novella, you are supporting the arts. With this comes a weird idea; the education system makes you read, but doesn't always let you read for pleasure. Another weirder idea is that poetry doesn't get treated as a creative art of imagination when it should be (unless your teacher or prof is awesome and creative in nature). Literature is portrayed as both boring in one place and exciting in another. 

History is an art by the definition in our dictionary. It seems odd, even to me, but the truth is that we only know about other societies due to the arts they performed and their written languages, which we study. We also study music, which is passed on through generations. To be entirely honest with you, many of my classmates thought history was boring. It depends on who is presenting it, and quite frankly, how deeply you go into the topic. History gets more interesting when you look at obscure history that they leave out of history books. 

Communications and the arts

Most colleges and schools connect communication and the arts - and rightfully so - because to present yourself to others is a performance. To talk to anyone requires written and spoken language. Theatre is telling a story, something that we do every day of our lives. 

Photo By New York Times

The communication degree of Public Relations I have earned at Malone University includes written communication, public speaking, event planning, crisis handling, performing arts, and (because I was in the band) performing music in a large group. I don't have a music degree, but music is an art. This means that planning stages you don't see in major or minor events are indeed part of communications and that I don't have to be speaking to a large crowd to be using my Public Relations degree. I'm tired of the misconception that you have to be a public speaker to be in a PR position, as well as the idea that because I am working in sports ministry that I am not using my degree. I am sending emails, setting up for events, posting scores and stats....etc. I am using my degree, but not in the way that the public perception seems to recognize. Behind the curtain PR people are generally administrative in nature and we can't do any events without that aspect. The person presenting in front of the crowd seldom planned the event and the invisible work, when done well, makes it run smoothly. If something goes wrong it shows (as anyone who has made any mistakes will tell you).

All this being said, I come to the point that the arts and communication are directly linked, thus making it possible to speak to another human being and converse. Yet we don't recognize that the arts are all around us every moment from birth to death. There is no time that you aren't involved in the arts in some way. And yet, the arts are the first thing cut and the last thing funded. Strange, isn't it? By not supporting artists our society shoots itself in the foot. We are told the arts aren't practical and you can barely use an arts degree - but I have just proven through logic that we can. This is why you should help your local artists and theatres when given the opportunity. 

Bonus Topic

On a related note, live theatre and movie theatre etiquette is not the same. I, personally, have live theatre etiquette deeply established inside me (and this also applies to music performances). Here I highlight the differences.

What is appropriate for movies that are already filmed is not appropriate when actors or musicians are live and onstage. If you dislike a film you can feel free to leave. In the case of jazz clubs and such you can come and go. Live jazz and restaurant music are different, but stage productions and concerts require some thought. Yes, if you are about to pee yourself, please discreetly do so, by all means, but if you leave mid-concert or show and don't come back the actors can see you. It is unspeakably rude to do so. 

Also, the audience should never yell at the performers unless the show calls for audience participation (which is a unique situation and happens in some cases). No speaker of any kind should be screamed at rudely - I don't care who they are or what they said. Don't be Statler and Waldorf in real life, ever, because that is not helpful to our performance. The pre-planned banter of Fozzie and his hecklers is planned into the show. Some shows do have that element in them. Preplanned people planted into the audience is one thing, but if you are not part of the show you need to sit and watch without heckling or commentary.

I realize movie theatre etiquette also has some things that need comment, so here is a video on that. Don't be these people! 

Video courtesy of Unspeakable and Youtube.com

Christianity and the case of what is "causing a brother to stumble"

 Today we tackle an issue that is referenced by Paul in his letters to fellow Christians. I'm going to try to look at every angle I can on this front. Grab your shovel and dig in! 

Courtesy of Pastor Rick's Daily Hope

First, let me show you the passage that I am referencing. Look up 1st Cor. 8 and 10, as well as Romans 14. Here, here, and here are the Biblegateway links to these. All you really have to do is click the links to read it, so feel free to do so. 

Before we go any further I am going to tell you how I have been taught when it comes to this subject, and what I have picked up on. This is how I understood it before I dug into this topic in depth. It has been told to me that Paul is saying we shouldn't hinder someone from their faith by arguing about tiny issues. From what I understand, the "weaker" in faith doesn't mean a new Christian, but instead someone who does not feel sure on a subject. In this case, Paul might be telling us that one person that feels okay with one thing may meet someone who isn't sure of that same thing. The concept is simply that we don't force them to compromise their values, even if we think what they avoid is perfectly okay. In some cases, we may even forgo doing something to be sensitive to the person with us (and we can do whatever that is later by ourselves or with friends who can handle it). The idea is that we don't hinder someone's faith in Christ because we don't agree with their personal rules. 

Now we dive into the research that I found and see if I am proven right or wrong. 

The Research

There are two extremes that exist on this topic. One is being apathetic to someone and saying "I don't care what you think", while the other is the exact opposite and you hinder your own faith journey by compromising too much and living under everyone else's rules. Worrying about offending someone these days seems to hit everyone, mostly because of the fear for your reputation, which social media amplifies. Still, the other extreme does happen a lot, mostly when one is pushed too hard. 

The "weaker" one is not only someone who is not sure of something, but one who abstains from things they feel are wrong (whether you agree or not). They may be sure of several other issues, but be weak on a few, too. Weak on one thing does not make you an immature Christian. We all struggle with certain topics. These are deep, personal problems that go beyond the surface. For instance, porn, alcohol, and any addictions they might have to anything (because any earthly object or action can be an addiction).

Courtesy of Pinterest

There are plenty of people who just want life their way and try to order others around, but they don't qualify for this. They are not "weaker" because they are merely uncomfortable with you getting a tattoo, watching a certain genre of movie, or going to the secular section of the book store (which, I will point out, doesn't impact their lives if all they do is point fingers at you). No, these people are simply rude. "Offended" and "Struggling with past sin/issues" are not the same at all. You will never, ever live your life without offending someone around you. Making another human uncomfortable comes with the territory of diverse surroundings. Pleasing everyone is not an option and it can't be done. If you cause them to sin they are weaker in faith in some category, but simply offending someone by a choice that doesn't even impact them is just being a busy body. 

Making someone stumble is like putting a rock in their way for them to trip over. Trapping someone purposely to do something they have sworn never to do or forcing them into a situation where they can't say no to a hindrance is mean. You wouldn't force a Playboy into the hands of a past porn addict (and if you would, you are not nice), for example. This is going beyond accidentally making another look at you strangely or fidget in their seat. This is causing someone to sin or fall back into bad habits they gave up. The love of Jesus is not condemning those who mess up, but instead welcoming them back in with forgiveness and a fresh slate. Those that walk around acting like their way is best and act perfect have pride to deal with and care more about reputation than their faith. 

We all have personal rules in our lives. For me, I don't write cuss words and I try not to say them (even if they pop into my brain here and there). I create phrases for myself such as "flip cheese", "cheese and crackers", and maybe a few more that I don't use as much. My point? Feeling okay to say words I won't say doesn't make you any less Christian or cause me to hate you. My conscience tells me not to do x,y, or z and yours tells you not to do a,b, and c. God gave us all different callings and lives to live. You follow Christ's leading on your personal quest and I'll let you freely do so as long as you go within His will. 

 

That said, we need to be sensitive to those whom we know have personal issues, without being ruled by other humans' standards. People around us who can easily fall back into bad habits or return to addictions need our support. Be supporting of people. I, for instance, won't pull out certain movies around some individuals. The simple solution is given to us by logic - you can do it later around those who aren't sensitive to it. If you know someone is trying to avoid something, do it or play it later. This premise can go for any action or media. Read the room and the people in it. Be aware of what someone can and can't handle. If you need another example, I can't watch horror. Yet, one person convinced me to watch it and I am personally scarred by the content of that to this day. Don't force someone to compromise their values (that they hold firmly) just to please you. When you do that is a stumbling block. We should, out of love, be loving our brothers and sisters in Christ by respecting the personal rules that God gave them. 

I'm going to give you some examples of putting a stumbling block in another human's path. Causing drama over a past mistake, making life difficult for them on purpose, or leading someone who doesn't know what they are doing down the wrong path are excellent ones to use. Drama examples include gossip over something highly unnecessary or long past and spreading slander because you dislike someone or want to manipulate a situation. Verbal words can be stumbling blocks the size of Texas if they spread and people believe the slanderer/gossip. When it comes to making a task purposely hard to do, this can be any kind of sabotage possible to hinder their faith or mental health, like emotional or physical abuse. Leading a person to the wrong pathway is like taking a blind man up a mountain and leaving him/her there, only in this case that is only an analogy for misguiding someone to bad decisions. I think you understand the concept by now. By the way, none of these are accidental. These are acts of cruelty that can't be avoided. Peer pressuring or tempting someone to do what they believe is wrong is not an accidental occurrence. 

Maturity in Christ is a concept in which one could not handle something when weak, but as we grow we can handle it later (unless it is straight-up sin). Some matters don't change, though, so it depends. Think of this like teaching kids; kids can't handle everything that an adult can, but later they grow up and become adults. Maturing in Christ is the same way. If an individual feels unable to handle regular TV because of the content and their current state of faith we should form an awareness of that and let them choose the media while they are around. Logically, it makes sense and shows them Christ's love. When we grow up in faith there are objects and content in life that does and doesn't hinder us as we follow Christ. If one media source hinders us while we are young and doesn't affect us when we are years older that is normal. 

There is freedom in Christ. This means we are free to serve God and live for Him, loving others as ourselves. While we may be okay with doing a specific activity, others may not. We are not supposed to use our freedom to make others fall into sin, or put an issue in their way on purpose to make them fall. Don't lead those who aren't sure or are not strong into areas they can't handle. It all boils down to being aware and understanding around our fellow human race. We are free to do what The Word does not clearly forbid. 

Conclusion and Summary

That was a lot. Let me just condense that for all of you who are in a hurry. 

We have the freedom to do what isn't forbidden by the Bible, but if one believes it will hinder their faith or is wrong we shouldn't force or encourage them to do it with us and go against their conscience. Christians are called to be understanding and put whatever it is aside while being with that person. Being a stumbling block is not accidental and is it not offending people. It is a purposeful, unavoidable blockage that trips up fellow believers in some way.

I am a stumbling block when I: 

1. lead someone purposely astray

2. make someone do something outside of their personal rules

I hope I made sense to anyone looking for answers.

Bonus!

Women's clothing has always been an issue in society. Seriously, even the biblical times had that problem. Some of this had to do with pride and getting attention, others not so much, but throughout time what women wear has been commented on daily. 

The concept above is connected to this dilemma. I did a blog on men's wiring, which you can find right here. I'll let you read that through for reference on what I mean by visual men. You shouldn't need to, though, if time is short. What women should and shouldn't wear will never, ever leave the earth's list of growing problems because there is nothing new under the sun. God wired men to be turned on simply by looking at a woman (and I can prove this by pointing to my husband), so naturally, we should be aware of men's visual functions, as women. 

First point, why do you dress like you do. 

If you are trying to get the male attention in the room (from men who are not your significant other or men whom you don't want a relationship with) STOP. Your personal liberty is invading theirs. If you are dressing in outfits you hate to please someone, STOP. If you are so pleased with your looks that you dress so that everyone in the vicinity notices you, STOP. Pride and dressing to please someone are not a reason to dress in overly modest or overly showy clothes. Yes, I did say overly modest. That gets just as much attention as showy clothing.

Comfort, freedom of movement, and sports are all okay reasons to wear clothing that is a bit tighter. Dance requires freedom of movement, as well as running and most other sports that aren't Chess. It depends on your sport dress code. This is a hard area to navigate, but you are not a stumbling block to those around you when you don't dress for pride or vanity, at least not by the standards of Paul. Most women have to deal with clothing in sports and dance carefully. If it is a required uniform and you need freedom of movement you are okay. Some might disagree (depending on where you are), but as long as you don't do anything other than practice or perform in it you're good. If you decide to practice far away from someone who has a lust issue/porn issue out of respect you are reading the room correctly and being understanding. If you flaunt it in front of that individual, STOP. I will also note that by "a bit tighter" I do not mean transparent clothing and showing off your everything to anyone who looks at you; I mean the standard dance and sports attire you see at Dunhams or Dick's Sporting Goods. Sports require freedom of movement and that is an indisputable fact. 

Second point, how do we dress if men are visual

My research from the men and visuals blog led me to the conclusion that we should be wary of how deep our v-necks are and how tight our leggings are, but men will always look at women and not much can be done. If men didn't do that we'd all be single ladies or would never have been born at all. God knew what he was doing when he wired us. He wanted us to have sex and reproduce. Given that information, I have some guidelines that don't sound like an old lady wrote them. 

Rule of thumb, dress for the occasion. If you are going to a church sport try to be modest and functional, if possible. (Sports shirts that breathe work fabulously for that, in case you were unsure of how to do that.) Keep a one-piece for mission trips, if needed. When running alone and in unpopulated areas, you can have your cut-off, sports bra, and shorty shorts to your heart's content. When you are with your husband (in my case) at home you are free to move about in whatever you please. I think you get my drift. Read the room. Dress smartly and based on location. You don't have to dress like a nun unless you are one. Men will look at you no matter what you have decided to wear that day. Simply be considerate of the dress code and the people around you. If you accidentally offend someone (and you will, I guarantee it), it was an accident and you are fine. Offending someone is not putting a blockage in their path. They will live. 

Modest, according to an article I read recently, can be generally followed with the 40 percent rule (which means avoiding being too modest and too immodest). It seems to work out well for those who use it. Still, read the room around you, but if you dress in what looks nice, feels comfortable mentally and physically, and doesn't make you stick out you are approachable. Be you. Different cultures see modest in different ways. Europe modest is not the United States modest. Wherever you go be aware of what people don't bat an eye at and stick to that (which ties into dressing for location). Want to read my source? Find it here! It has biblical backing and is rather interesting. 

Courtesy of Dreamstime.com

Ladies, the standard of what women could wear and shouldn't wear has changed countless times. The laws of fashion are not important. Our society can't make up its mind. Wear what you want, even if society calls it outdated or odd. It might come back in style, anyway, so just be aware of the location and who is there to see it. One day the laws of fashion will die and that day we won't care what we wore at all. What the magazines sell you as beauty is only beautiful to them for a short time. Dress for God, not the world around us, but remember that you don't have to be covered head to toe in fabric to be modest. The 40 percent rule works. 

Sources:

https://gcdiscipleship.com/article-feed/2012/09/11/what-does-it-mean-to-make-a-brother-stumble

https://pastorhistorian.com/2006/04/03/do-not-cause-your-brother-to-stumble-exposition-of-romans-1413-23/

https://www.compellingtruth.org/stumbling-block.html

https://churchleaders.com/worship/worship-blogs/170470-what-does-it-really-mean-to-cause-someone-to-stumble.html

https://www.openbible.info/topics/causing_your_brother_to_stumble

Self Care 101

 The average human, myself included, does not do the best job of taking care of themselves. Our society has become so busy and loud that we don't take a day or so to chill and care for our bodies and minds. While doing only this every day is probably not workable (if you are a working adult with a full schedule), you shouldn't neglect self-care. 

Courtesy of Pinterest

After missing your day of rest during the week you are usually painfully aware of your exhaustion. Sometimes you did it to yourself. Other times you had no choice in the matter. Whatever the reason, you are due for a self-care day. Today I will guide you into a, hopefully, better day. I make no guarantees because I don't know who will read this. You'll at least be healthier for it. 

water, sugar, and sleep

As crazy as this sounds, most of this should be common sense, but I forget to do this. Drinking water and eating full and balanced meals makes a world of difference in your mental health. Sleeping at a healthy schedule and doing so every night is enough to impact you, as well. I will add that sleep deprivation will kill you faster than food or water deprivation. Our basic needs affect our mental capacity to think. 

Courtesy of Philadelphia Magazine

How do you tell if you are dehydrated? Easy, go pee and look at the color. Gross? Yes, but if it isn't clear you need to drink a few cups of water next time you pass the fridge or sink. Soon. The more hydrated you are, the more your body takes care of itself, and the more clearly you think. When it comes to water, you need it to cool down and breathe. 

Blood sugar levels are important. Ask any diabetic and they will prove that to you rather quickly. You can die if they are too high or too low. Some diabetics have (I know one that did). If it is low your mood and energy may slow. High sugar means you can't sit still, from my experience, and water helps this along with sources of protein. Low sugar means you make yourself a peanut butter sandwich and pour yourself some orange juice (or any juice). Balance this and you won't regret it.

Sleep is highly necessary to the healthy functioning of the body. You rest and heal in this state, dream in this state, and can die without it. I once went two weeks with stress that affected my sleep and became someone that I hadn't ever been before. My emotions were unhinged. I couldn't stop crying until I slept for 5 plus hours and missed the pictures for the musical my senior year of high school. I screamed at one poor soul about lighting in my scene (and apologized profusely later). It was bad. Please, sleep, or you will regret it highly. 

In the general sense (minus some factors like mental illness), you can fix some mood issues by eating balanced meals, drinking water, and sleeping healthily. It was actually a form of torture to deprive someone of sleep, food, and water at one point (obviously, illegal). People died without giving up information or they gave in just to get their basic needs. The true patriots were silent as the grave and ended up in graves. 

prioritizing and backburner list

Mental health rule of thumb, dial it down to what is most important and leave what isn't on a back-burner list. You can come back to beat your high score on a game, for example, but your relationship with your wife/husband is probably not going on the back-burner list. I live by lists, and one of them is projects I can come back to later. This means that I can focus on urgent tasks (hopefully finishing started projects), then start something new. That way I won't have 2 million projects on my list and overwhelm myself to death. 

Courtesy of Stationary Nerd

Let me break down what is and isn't back-burner projects. Ask yourself these questions and you will be able to figure it out from here.

1. Can it wait? If yes, backburner

2. Is it urgent or has a deadline attached? If yes, not backburner

3. Is it a hobby that is for my own enjoyment/sanity? If yes, backburner

4. Is this project a gift or assignment for someone/something? If yes, not backburner

I think you understand from here. I'll answer the "why" at this point. We, as humans, take on too much sometimes and need to go back to what is truly urgent, important, and priority. A priority and back-burner list can help you focus your energy on the highest priority tasks, while still allowing you to plan future projects (yes, artists and hobby people, I'm talking to you). You'll get more productive if you do this successfully. It may not work for you, however, so try it and see what happens. 

faith centering

I speak from a Christian perspective. I believe that knowing who you are in Christ is the most important thing in the world, far above anything else. So, to that end, I will talk about faith and centering yourself in who you are in Christ. If you don't agree, you need not comment or complain - just pass this section and read on past it. 

Now that you are warned, I go on. I find it calming, and helpful, to pick a time of day to read God's Word, pray, and spend time with God. Cut the time out of your busy life to do this and pick a time of day to be alone or with a spouse. I find the Youversion app to be a great way to do this, since it will read to you, thus allowing you to do dishes or other necessary chores while you listen to the Word. I also sit in God's presence for at least a few minutes each day to listen for God's voice/message for that day. Whether I get anything or not, I find it calming to do so. 

Courtesy of Quora

Why does this help? In my experience, God has given me direction for that day and a moment to catch my breath before I jump into the day itself. It orients your thoughts in the right direction as you start the day off. It makes it easier to handle whatever comes at you. I don't claim God makes every day a cakewalk. Focusing on Christ at least gets you moving in the correct path and prepares you for the events you are going to experience. You get out of it what you put in, too, so if you plan to do this you shouldn't be too distracted. No matter what you have a new day every morning and can try to create this habit in time. It will take some time, so start any day and try to keep it going all week. 

No idea how to start? What you can start with is giving God all your stress and worry. It makes it easier to dial in on the Word for the time you have set aside. The next step is praise and thanks to God and what He's done already. This is the part where you could open your Bible (and reading plans help here) and read/listen. After this, you pray to ask for direction and remain silent for five minutes (at least) to open your ears. You can close with a prayer of any type and go on for as long as you like. This is only a suggestion, so you can do this with a journal or any device you want to, and in any order at all. 

taking a day for self

Courtesy of LinkedIn

Mental health days are good. Go do your hobbies for a bit. It keeps you sane and makes you relax for at least one day of the week, which I recommend planning ahead. Plan one day to relax -just one- and you will thank yourself for it. When I said that we overbook ourselves and need to stop and prioritize, this is part of that. If you need to hide your laptop or devices all day, do it. No one should fault you for time to yourself. 

I have a few suggestions for days of recharge. First of all, your social media is actually kind of exhausting. You might want to avoid it all day. Second of all, the devices that you overuse (like a laptop or tablet, in my case) might need to hide for the day or be only used if you have a purpose for them. Lastly, pick up those hobbies you didn't have time for before. Go read that book you started and play your favorite game. I give you all full permission to pull out what you miss doing as a kid. It helps you destress and chill. As long as every day is not a self-day, you are totally cool to do whatever. 

cutting unnecessary projects

All you artists out there understand exactly what I mean - myself included. You have a million ideas, a full Pinterest account of things you want to do, and no time to do it all. Go pull out that back-burner list and see what you can do later on. Look at the amount of time you have in your schedule. I'll give you some guide questions to do this with.

1. Do you have time to do it well? If no, back-burner or don't even put it on your list

2. Do I have at least five more projects ahead of this one? If yes, pass on it. 

3. Is this a gift for someone? If no, pass on it.

4. Are you excited to do the project? If no, take it off your lists entirely. 

5. Is it required by work or school? If yes, go put it on your priority list. 

You probably know the answers to those questions instinctively. If it is not required, it isn't exciting to you, and you have no time to even look at a project you can delete it off all lists. If you have to, go delete it off your Pinterest board. You can even organize your boards on there by back-burner and priority.  Do what works best for you. Don't overwhelm yourself with your own passions and hobbies. 

Courtesy of Creative Twilight

what you eat

Lastly, let's talk about the average human's meals. Balanced meals aren't easy to get in the habit of doing with all that junk food we keep in our desks and kitchens. Quick meals are not always bad, but they have to sustain us until the next meal or we reach for a snack later. I'm going to give you the simple breakdown of a healthy plate, according to Harvard T. H. Chan. Part of this is still exercising, so keep your body moving in whatever fashion you can along with this guideline. 

From what I read on that page, you need 1/4 of healthy protein, 1/4 grains, 1/8 fruits, the rest of the plate vegetables (a bit more than 1/4), plant oils in moderation, and drinking water (while avoiding sugary drinks). I am summarizing, but I'd bet most of us would have a higher grocery bill if we followed their advice to the letter. I have the website here for you to read in full. Basically, just eat sustaining food and don't over-sugar or starve yourselves. It isn't that hard if you also stay active (unless you already have health issues). If you have complicated health issues you may need more help in this department.

Conclusions

There is a lot here, but it boils down to focusing on Christ, eating good meals, staying active, drinking water, sleeping, and prioritizing your activities. Still a lot, but yet, if you build the habit it becomes second nature. You will thank yourselves for taking care of your bodies and minds. All of your bodies are connected together and created to work with every part of you. It is a bit like an analogy of how the Church is supposed to work. If one part is not working, the rest of you doesn't work as well. Take care of yourselves out there and God bless!

Life Updates

 I have some life updates to give you, readers, which will explain the absence of new content over the last few weeks. Tune in and I'll give you the big news!

Courtesy of Meme Creator

There are two things going on in my life that are monumental right now. I'll start with the one that deprived you of a blog post or two. 

**drum roll**

**fanfare**

I am married! My new last name is Baker and I am updating all my social media to reflect that. Be prepared to see the name change on all my social media. I was married beginning of July, while the blogs had stopped. As you probably assumed, that is why the blogs were put to the side for a brief two weeks. A new chapter has begun in my life. For obvious reasons, I won't be telling you too much personal info on this post (internet safety.....), but you do get to see some of my engagement pictures courtesy of  Envision Photo. Enjoy!

In Other News.....

Big news number two is that I am in the two final stages of finishing a suspense novel. It is called Wrenville and is about a private investigator who is running from his past case. Jack, my main character, ends up in Wrenville, Illinois to avoid a female assassin network he discovered while working a case. It all catches up with him as he begins to get comfortable in this small town. He now has to worry about everything - including the woman he is attempting to date. 

I have been editing this for months. I wrote this a good while back and hired an editor named Vaughn Foster (an excellent editor), who has collaboratively edited this novel. I'm having three beta readers going through the final draft as you read this. The last step is to have Vaughn go over it one last time after that before I release it. I'm beyond excited, but the promotion of it (should I have to do it all by myself) will be time-consuming, thus, I decided to wait to release it until after the wedding and honeymoon are over. Which is now whenever the editing is done. 

Rest assured, you will hear about the release of it when the time is right. I want to do this the right way and make it all look good, so I'm not rushing the editing process. You will all be one of the first to know all about its release. 

games for introverts

Gaming for extroverts and introverts is different. The style of games that we choose is not the same. What games do introverts prefer? Keep reading.

Screenshot for Nancy Drew Sea of Darkness

It seems that we like games that have a story, puzzles, and plotline. Why? Because we can focus for long periods of time alone. Most puzzle games are done solo, thus we recharge while playing. We pay attention to everything and that makes the plotline more fun. Of course, this doesn't mean that we don't play online multiplayer games and role-playing games, but we are less likely to recharge our batteries with a game that requires communication with other players. We like to build our own worlds and create characters, then explore it all. Competitive games are not going to draw introverts. Time spent in games where we can create our own worlds will be long, focused hours. Introverted nature makes it appealing for us to disappear and create the world we want to see. The attitude about gaming when it comes to introverts is interesting. We might tell ourselves we should be doing more important things. Some gamers think they might be wasting time. 

Typical Introvert Games

Sims Screenshot

I have a few favorite games that introverted souls might enjoy. Since I'm a Nancy Drew nerd it shouldn't surprise you that I suggest the Herinteractive Nancy Drew games. They are puzzles, have plotlines, and you can play them solo. They are so fun and I adore them. 

Sims games are commonly known for world creation and a lot of Nancy Drew players also game with Sims. There are so many types of these that you can find anything you want. The Sims have been around forever. 

Speaking of the plotline, the Kyle Hyde games (Hotel Dusk and Last Window) are living novels that I know well. I love them because you have some challenge and a book in one game. Try them sometime. You might have to spend some money on these because they are from a gaming company that is out of business, but it is so worth the money. They are Nintendo DS games. 

The obvious worldbuilder here is Minecraft. Hours of time can go into your mansion and you can even fight zombies. Time passes with no effort. Before you know it, you spent five hours on your computer. 

Dungeons and Dragons and roleplaying are an ideal way to create a character, explore a world, and play along a storyline with trusted friends. An intimate group can do this for hours and escape any stress that comes with the real world. Additionally, any games that allow this type of gameplay are ideal. 

Hilariously, there is a Pet the Pup at the Party game that you can get free. In this game, your goal is the find the dog at the party and avoid the people. You can unlock dogs and their bios as you play and you have a time limit to find the doggy. Did I mention it is free? Pet the Pup Game website Here!

Games that aren't videogames

I stumbled upon some sources talking about nonvideo games. In case you are not a gamer at all, here are some sports that introverted people can have some fun with. 

Poker, strangely, is a game where you can be in a group and not speak a word other than "call", "fold", and any other poker terms you say out loud. Uncomfortable at a party?  Pull out a deck of cards and see who wants to play. 

Golf is quiet, done solo or in groups. It is common courtesy to not be loud out there while someone is putting. Physical activity and focus are combined. Fun and peaceful golf outings are a good way to recharge. 

A Quick Note On Future Blogs

I will be taking a short break from blogging. Given that, there are two more new blogs released with this one that will be linked below. I'll see all of you readers when I get back and I'll have some fresh content for you. God bless!

The other blogs are here and here too.

Sources:

http://introvertdaily.com/do-introverts-and-extroverts-like-different-video-games/#:~:text=The%20idea%20of%20building%20your,or%20sports%20and%20racing%20games.

https://introvertspring.com/awesome-games-for-introverts/

https://aguideforyour20s.com/the-best-party-games-for-introverts/

https://www.montecookgames.com/gaming-introverts/

 https://www.mindofb.com/video-games-for-the-classic-introvert/

Pictures:

Adventure Gamers

Computer History Museum

VNDB

The Guardian