Today we tackle an issue that is referenced by Paul in his letters to fellow Christians. I'm going to try to look at every angle I can on this front. Grab your shovel and dig in!
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| Courtesy of Pastor Rick's Daily Hope |
First, let me show you the passage that I am referencing. Look up 1st Cor. 8 and 10, as well as Romans 14. Here, here, and here are the Biblegateway links to these. All you really have to do is click the links to read it, so feel free to do so.
Before we go any further I am going to tell you how I have been taught when it comes to this subject, and what I have picked up on. This is how I understood it before I dug into this topic in depth. It has been told to me that Paul is saying we shouldn't hinder someone from their faith by arguing about tiny issues. From what I understand, the "weaker" in faith doesn't mean a new Christian, but instead someone who does not feel sure on a subject. In this case, Paul might be telling us that one person that feels okay with one thing may meet someone who isn't sure of that same thing. The concept is simply that we don't force them to compromise their values, even if we think what they avoid is perfectly okay. In some cases, we may even forgo doing something to be sensitive to the person with us (and we can do whatever that is later by ourselves or with friends who can handle it). The idea is that we don't hinder someone's faith in Christ because we don't agree with their personal rules.
Now we dive into the research that I found and see if I am proven right or wrong.
The Research
There are two extremes that exist on this topic. One is being apathetic to someone and saying "I don't care what you think", while the other is the exact opposite and you hinder your own faith journey by compromising too much and living under everyone else's rules. Worrying about offending someone these days seems to hit everyone, mostly because of the fear for your reputation, which social media amplifies. Still, the other extreme does happen a lot, mostly when one is pushed too hard.
The "weaker" one is not only someone who is not sure of something, but one who abstains from things they feel are wrong (whether you agree or not). They may be sure of several other issues, but be weak on a few, too. Weak on one thing does not make you an immature Christian. We all struggle with certain topics. These are deep, personal problems that go beyond the surface. For instance, porn, alcohol, and any addictions they might have to anything (because any earthly object or action can be an addiction).
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There are plenty of people who just want life their way and try to order others around, but they don't qualify for this. They are not "weaker" because they are merely uncomfortable with you getting a tattoo, watching a certain genre of movie, or going to the secular section of the book store (which, I will point out, doesn't impact their lives if all they do is point fingers at you). No, these people are simply rude. "Offended" and "Struggling with past sin/issues" are not the same at all. You will never, ever live your life without offending someone around you. Making another human uncomfortable comes with the territory of diverse surroundings. Pleasing everyone is not an option and it can't be done. If you cause them to sin they are weaker in faith in some category, but simply offending someone by a choice that doesn't even impact them is just being a busy body.
Making someone stumble is like putting a rock in their way for them to trip over. Trapping someone purposely to do something they have sworn never to do or forcing them into a situation where they can't say no to a hindrance is mean. You wouldn't force a Playboy into the hands of a past porn addict (and if you would, you are not nice), for example. This is going beyond accidentally making another look at you strangely or fidget in their seat. This is causing someone to sin or fall back into bad habits they gave up. The love of Jesus is not condemning those who mess up, but instead welcoming them back in with forgiveness and a fresh slate. Those that walk around acting like their way is best and act perfect have pride to deal with and care more about reputation than their faith.
We all have personal rules in our lives. For me, I don't write cuss words and I try not to say them (even if they pop into my brain here and there). I create phrases for myself such as "flip cheese", "cheese and crackers", and maybe a few more that I don't use as much. My point? Feeling okay to say words I won't say doesn't make you any less Christian or cause me to hate you. My conscience tells me not to do x,y, or z and yours tells you not to do a,b, and c. God gave us all different callings and lives to live. You follow Christ's leading on your personal quest and I'll let you freely do so as long as you go within His will.
That said, we need to be sensitive to those whom we know have personal issues, without being ruled by other humans' standards. People around us who can easily fall back into bad habits or return to addictions need our support. Be supporting of people. I, for instance, won't pull out certain movies around some individuals. The simple solution is given to us by logic - you can do it later around those who aren't sensitive to it. If you know someone is trying to avoid something, do it or play it later. This premise can go for any action or media. Read the room and the people in it. Be aware of what someone can and can't handle. If you need another example, I can't watch horror. Yet, one person convinced me to watch it and I am personally scarred by the content of that to this day. Don't force someone to compromise their values (that they hold firmly) just to please you. When you do that is a stumbling block. We should, out of love, be loving our brothers and sisters in Christ by respecting the personal rules that God gave them.
I'm going to give you some examples of putting a stumbling block in another human's path. Causing drama over a past mistake, making life difficult for them on purpose, or leading someone who doesn't know what they are doing down the wrong path are excellent ones to use. Drama examples include gossip over something highly unnecessary or long past and spreading slander because you dislike someone or want to manipulate a situation. Verbal words can be stumbling blocks the size of Texas if they spread and people believe the slanderer/gossip. When it comes to making a task purposely hard to do, this can be any kind of sabotage possible to hinder their faith or mental health, like emotional or physical abuse. Leading a person to the wrong pathway is like taking a blind man up a mountain and leaving him/her there, only in this case that is only an analogy for misguiding someone to bad decisions. I think you understand the concept by now. By the way, none of these are accidental. These are acts of cruelty that can't be avoided. Peer pressuring or tempting someone to do what they believe is wrong is not an accidental occurrence.
Maturity in Christ is a concept in which one could not handle something when weak, but as we grow we can handle it later (unless it is straight-up sin). Some matters don't change, though, so it depends. Think of this like teaching kids; kids can't handle everything that an adult can, but later they grow up and become adults. Maturing in Christ is the same way. If an individual feels unable to handle regular TV because of the content and their current state of faith we should form an awareness of that and let them choose the media while they are around. Logically, it makes sense and shows them Christ's love. When we grow up in faith there are objects and content in life that does and doesn't hinder us as we follow Christ. If one media source hinders us while we are young and doesn't affect us when we are years older that is normal.
There is freedom in Christ. This means we are free to serve God and live for Him, loving others as ourselves. While we may be okay with doing a specific activity, others may not. We are not supposed to use our freedom to make others fall into sin, or put an issue in their way on purpose to make them fall. Don't lead those who aren't sure or are not strong into areas they can't handle. It all boils down to being aware and understanding around our fellow human race. We are free to do what The Word does not clearly forbid.
Conclusion and Summary
That was a lot. Let me just condense that for all of you who are in a hurry.
We have the freedom to do what isn't forbidden by the Bible, but if one believes it will hinder their faith or is wrong we shouldn't force or encourage them to do it with us and go against their conscience. Christians are called to be understanding and put whatever it is aside while being with that person. Being a stumbling block is not accidental and is it not offending people. It is a purposeful, unavoidable blockage that trips up fellow believers in some way.
I am a stumbling block when I:
1. lead someone purposely astray
2. make someone do something outside of their personal rules
I hope I made sense to anyone looking for answers.
Bonus!
Women's clothing has always been an issue in society. Seriously, even the biblical times had that problem. Some of this had to do with pride and getting attention, others not so much, but throughout time what women wear has been commented on daily.
The concept above is connected to this dilemma. I did a blog on men's wiring, which you can find right here. I'll let you read that through for reference on what I mean by visual men. You shouldn't need to, though, if time is short. What women should and shouldn't wear will never, ever leave the earth's list of growing problems because there is nothing new under the sun. God wired men to be turned on simply by looking at a woman (and I can prove this by pointing to my husband), so naturally, we should be aware of men's visual functions, as women.
First point, why do you dress like you do.
If you are trying to get the male attention in the room (from men who are not your significant other or men whom you don't want a relationship with) STOP. Your personal liberty is invading theirs. If you are dressing in outfits you hate to please someone, STOP. If you are so pleased with your looks that you dress so that everyone in the vicinity notices you, STOP. Pride and dressing to please someone are not a reason to dress in overly modest or overly showy clothes. Yes, I did say overly modest. That gets just as much attention as showy clothing.
Comfort, freedom of movement, and sports are all okay reasons to wear clothing that is a bit tighter. Dance requires freedom of movement, as well as running and most other sports that aren't Chess. It depends on your sport dress code. This is a hard area to navigate, but you are not a stumbling block to those around you when you don't dress for pride or vanity, at least not by the standards of Paul. Most women have to deal with clothing in sports and dance carefully. If it is a required uniform and you need freedom of movement you are okay. Some might disagree (depending on where you are), but as long as you don't do anything other than practice or perform in it you're good. If you decide to practice far away from someone who has a lust issue/porn issue out of respect you are reading the room correctly and being understanding. If you flaunt it in front of that individual, STOP. I will also note that by "a bit tighter" I do not mean transparent clothing and showing off your everything to anyone who looks at you; I mean the standard dance and sports attire you see at Dunhams or Dick's Sporting Goods. Sports require freedom of movement and that is an indisputable fact.
Second point, how do we dress if men are visual
My research from the men and visuals blog led me to the conclusion that we should be wary of how deep our v-necks are and how tight our leggings are, but men will always look at women and not much can be done. If men didn't do that we'd all be single ladies or would never have been born at all. God knew what he was doing when he wired us. He wanted us to have sex and reproduce. Given that information, I have some guidelines that don't sound like an old lady wrote them.
Rule of thumb, dress for the occasion. If you are going to a church sport try to be modest and functional, if possible. (Sports shirts that breathe work fabulously for that, in case you were unsure of how to do that.) Keep a one-piece for mission trips, if needed. When running alone and in unpopulated areas, you can have your cut-off, sports bra, and shorty shorts to your heart's content. When you are with your husband (in my case) at home you are free to move about in whatever you please. I think you get my drift. Read the room. Dress smartly and based on location. You don't have to dress like a nun unless you are one. Men will look at you no matter what you have decided to wear that day. Simply be considerate of the dress code and the people around you. If you accidentally offend someone (and you will, I guarantee it), it was an accident and you are fine. Offending someone is not putting a blockage in their path. They will live.
Modest, according to an article I read recently, can be generally followed with the 40 percent rule (which means avoiding being too modest and too immodest). It seems to work out well for those who use it. Still, read the room around you, but if you dress in what looks nice, feels comfortable mentally and physically, and doesn't make you stick out you are approachable. Be you. Different cultures see modest in different ways. Europe modest is not the United States modest. Wherever you go be aware of what people don't bat an eye at and stick to that (which ties into dressing for location). Want to read my source? Find it here! It has biblical backing and is rather interesting.
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Ladies, the standard of what women could wear and shouldn't wear has changed countless times. The laws of fashion are not important. Our society can't make up its mind. Wear what you want, even if society calls it outdated or odd. It might come back in style, anyway, so just be aware of the location and who is there to see it. One day the laws of fashion will die and that day we won't care what we wore at all. What the magazines sell you as beauty is only beautiful to them for a short time. Dress for God, not the world around us, but remember that you don't have to be covered head to toe in fabric to be modest. The 40 percent rule works.
Sources:
https://gcdiscipleship.com/article-feed/2012/09/11/what-does-it-mean-to-make-a-brother-stumble
https://pastorhistorian.com/2006/04/03/do-not-cause-your-brother-to-stumble-exposition-of-romans-1413-23/
https://www.compellingtruth.org/stumbling-block.html
https://churchleaders.com/worship/worship-blogs/170470-what-does-it-really-mean-to-cause-someone-to-stumble.html
https://www.openbible.info/topics/causing_your_brother_to_stumble
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