Hello, fellow writers! I've hit a wall in my freewriting and did some research on how we can beat writer's block. Let's get into it. No time to lose. I have a book to freewrite.
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We've all hit that brick wall we call writer's block and we've all gotten to a point, as writers, where our characters stopped talking to us about what they wanted to do. I am flying by the seat of my pants on the current draft I am writing. In case anyone was ever curious, I have an editing project going, a book promotion going on for the rest of eternity, and this freewriting storyline I've currently hit a brick wall on. I'm flying blind on the plotline.
This is where I want to share what I found on the interwebs. We could all use the encouragement, fellow writers. Let's go find the secret door in our brick walls and keep writing.
Why It Happens
I looked up more than how to beat it; I looked into why it happens. I'll go through them one by one.
Fear is a force against us. Afraid you'll fail? Afraid you are not good enough and you have imposter syndrome? Have you been playing the comparison game? Yep, this is one way to build a brick wall.
Catastrophizing is letting the doubts and negativity of whether you can finish it get to you. Look past those obstacles and keep making progress. You've done it before. You'll do it again (unless, of course, you are planning a murder, then don't).
Paralysis by Analysis is a great way to do nothing. You're asking yourself where to start. This is when you should be writing out the baby steps of a big undertaking and taking it one step at a time.
No motivation is a problem. Where is it coming from? That's what you need to find out. You may even need a staycation or some time away from the project for a bit. If you can solve why you have no motivation to do something it helps you move forward. Get past that roadblock and find the solution to your motivation.
Distracted people don't get all that much done. Right now I'm pomodoro-ing my way to finishing this blog before I have the wonderful pleasure of golf. If you have to Pomodoro yourself to get something done or you have to shut yourself in a room with no distractions you are not alone. Undistracted thoughts focus like beams, but distractions turn off creativity fast.
Beating The Brick Wall
The techniques I found for beating this menace are here. I'm going to explain them individually. Try them all or pick your favorite.
Backward is a good way to do things. Strange, it is. Yet, works, it does. Studies have proven this. You can do anything from brushing your teeth with your other hand to shaking up your routine and flipping it. Leonardo Da Vinci used to write backwards when he needed to do this.
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Much like Elsa, we need to let something go sometimes. Back away from it momentarily. Go do something else you enjoy or take a walk. Invite a friend over for a movie. Read a book. Anything to get you away from what you are doing. Maybe you'll find inspiration at other places and come back with a fresh perspective.
Speaking of taking walks, go outside and exercise. Or stay in and exercise. Move in some way and get the body moving. You need to move your legs, for one, to avoid cramping, and for another, you can reset your brain a bit.
Be willing to look at things in a new way. Perspective changing is good for you. Talk to someone else and get a new opinion. I've done this with my brother-in-law before at the last brick wall I hit. See what others think about your idea. They may find a plothole or a loose string you can tug to keep you going.
Notepads are amazing things to keep in your purse, laptop bag, or even your jacket pocket. Inspiration will hit you at times you aren't working on your projects. Take a quick note before your muse decides to leave you. The inspirations you find need to be written down and retained. Digital notepads and apps are also totally acceptable. Don't rely on memory. We have too much going on to keep that thought prominent in our minds. We might lose it.
Deadlines motivate us in other places, so why not here? Set a goal and try to keep it every week. Even four paragraphs or less a week can keep your storyline moving. Even just a certain period of writing uninterrupted can be a goal. Set that deadline to keep you writing. The muse does what it wants.
Distraction And Our World
It isn't a crime to take a weekend and just write, just you and your word document. Turn off notifications, tell people you wish to be left alone until Monday, and turn on that focus music. Maybe you spend half that time staring at a page. Or maybe you spend that time tuning into where your story and plotline are going. If you have to sit in a secluded place to be alone, do it.
You see, our brain doesn't like task-switching. It cuts off the flow of creativity that makes doing good writing possible. Muses don't come to you at convenient times. You come to her/him/it if anything. It takes sitting in a secluded place, uninterrupted to connect with your work and dial into where it is going. Your characters may start speaking to you when you sit down at the laptop (or standing desk at a laptop) and keep your thoughts going. You may need to try pomodoro timers and other techniques, yes, but you are still trying to keep that flow going.
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Facing a page or a storyline you don't see clearly is frustrating. Taking some one-on-one time with that page could potentially end in a new flow of thought. Take breaks as needed, though, for food, exercise, and water. After this one-on-one with your page, it might clarify why a writer's retreat is worth the time away from the world that distracts you.
Inspiration trips and travels are also a great idea. If you need a change of scenery, go somewhere that you can enjoy alone or with a few friends (if you want to travel in packs). Solo or in a pack, you get to see some new things. Come back to your page after the trip and see what flows out of you. Journal and reflect. Social interaction is also good for perspective and new ideas. We do need people.
Writing Prompts
I have a whole page of them all over my Pinterest. Writing prompts are made so you can get out of creative ruts and hug your brick wall. Pick one and open a word document. I bought a book of them one day. It might get you past the brick wall.
The more unconventional writing prompts are the best for getting past your wall. Do the most unconventional ones. For instance, put on some background music and write based on what could be happening. Pull up a picture of a random person on google images and recreate a character you can save for later. Take an idea you had in the exact opposite direction. Play with killing off or reviving a character in your narrative. Be a kid again and maybe the muse will come back to join your imaginative game.
Freewriting is kind of freeing for me. I find my life coming to life in other characters. The best way to do this is to try not to stop typing for at least five to ten minutes. See what happens in those minutes and roll with it. Some scenes can be more easily done if you start with Dialogue and fill everything else in afterward.
Strangely enough, acting it out verbally and changing positions when you are different character can help you create the scene you want. Be a kid again. Be Jessica Fletcher (she does that!). It is not boring. You may feel silly, but who cares? You're making up a storyline and bringing your vision to life. Exciting may be what you need for your writer's block.
If you started with an outline, revisit that outline and see if it needs changed. Look at where you character needs to be later and pick a point to start at. Start at the end and then work backwards. It might help to jump around with scenes and connect them later.
Out of conflict? Create some drama and put more roadblocks in for your character. Maybe their ex shows up, a dead body shows up in the river, or they find information about their family that makes them upset enough to cause more drama. Block the character's path to what they want.
Try out the perspective of other characters, while you're shaking things up. Can you add more of a character into the narrative? Do it. Can you bring a secondary character to the front of the line? Do it. Even kill a character while you're at it. Explore the world you created. Refamiliarize yourself with the world you put together. Is there a setting you can write about that is new? Did you start something and not finish it? Are there loose ends? Pull at those strings in your draft and ask critical questions. New characters, subplots, secrets, plot twists, betrayal, romance.... Play with the plotline. Pretend you are a kid playing with your dolls and action figures.
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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have two five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page.
Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him?
Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.
I am currently promoting one book, editing one book, and free-writing (seat of my pants style) another book. On top of that, I decided making a cat couch for my grandmother's cat was a quick project (and has proven not to be), have yet to finish a counted cross stitch from before I got married, and started a huge blog project that requires me to play through every Nancy Drew game. You'll see that project debut when it debuts. No promises on when that happens. My point is this; I have to have all this in an organized list to get it all done.
Courtesy of wereparents.com
To-do lists are ages old because humans clearly need to stay busy. Today we're talking about how to make a good, productive list or find an app that helps you do just that. We're starting with the qualities of a good to-do list and going into apps last. I think there is a lot to be said for a paper/pencil journal -especially when your electricity is not functioning or you don't charge devices as you should. This is precisely why my crochet patterns are printed or written in a notebook. Our devices eventually die, but a good journal written in pen will not be deterred.
Master List and Many Lists Connected
Isn't it helpful to only have one list? Yes, but if you want to break down what goes into each project it helps to create a master list and maybe devote a page to each project. I know I said paper and pen are great. I also recommend Excel or a Word document on an online cloud (where it can be accessed everywhere on any device). Google Docs may be helpful here, too. Make time to do this in your schedule so you keep yourself moving on stuff. Brain dump first, though, before you organize.
Start with the master list, then prioritize what is most important. Put that on a "first priority" list (call it what you want, I call it Tier 1). Everything else can get put in order of importance. Have three tasks you have to finish that day and go from there. If you have the energy to do more, do so, but if you don't you still cross off three tasks. Your fuel tank of productivity is only so full. Don't burn yourself out.
Determining your top three is dependent upon what impacts your day the most, what needs to get done, and (if you get nothing else done) what will make you feel accomplished. Also, keep in mind that tasks you tend to put off might need to be in your top three. Rip off the bandaid and just do it. This works because you have a full tank of metaphorical gas in your productivity car and should take advantage of a full tank. You only have so much to give, so don't be trying to raise the Titanic in one day.
Breaking down tasks may help you chunk tasks. Pomodoro methods could be helpful here, too. Basically, the Pomodoro method is doing a task fully for a specific period of time, rewarding yourself with something for a shorter period of time, and then repeating that. Chunking tasks will allow you to feel accomplished by doing little steps toward a bigger goal. It may be done faster if you think of it this way. Take those big monster-sized projects and make them little mini-bosses to conquer. Before you know it, you may have conquered the whole thing.
Are some tasks not done because they hold no importance to you? Think about the tasks you are putting off on a daily basis. Why are you doing that? Let me give you an example. I need to message my editor, but I want to wait for a time with Matt - and I keep forgetting about it once Matt gets home. I keep putting off a haircut (just a trim) because it takes time and a phone call (don't like those) to set it up and go do it. I keep putting off shopping because I literally don't feel like driving to a shopping mall or store alone to shop. I'm seeing a trend in my life; I don't like calling to make appointments of any kind. I also don't shop often. The point is, there is probably a reason you don't want to go do something. Just rip off that bandaid or, if unimportant and pointless, cross it off the list entirely.
Do you have no energy today? You can make a list for that eventuality. Do you have too much energy? Same concept. You can do a lot on some days and almost nothing on others. No matter how you feel, you did something if you pick an item and do it. You can make lists for other eventualities too, like depression, holiday schedules, and days you don't have much time. Make the lists you need and want to. Put them all in one place for you to access easily. Be it a fridge, computer, or work desk, it doesn't matter. Just make sure it isn't hard to find. You won't use what is out of sight and out of mind. It can be as short and long as you like. Everyone's brain is different. You can even schedule tasks in your week. Reflect on what does and doesn't work.
Another method is making a column for each day of the week, separating that by a line (on graph paper, mostly likey), and writing tasks in on the other side. This puts everything on one page as opposed to many pages. You can also track tasks doing that. It's called the running task list.
Keeping Priorities Straight
Some of you may be asking how to prioritize everything because everything is important. That starts with brain dumping, putting everything down on paper or Word document. From there you pick up the tasks that can't wait. Highest-effort tasks should be coming first, and be done one at a time. I did an entire blog on how multi-tasking is only done by computers and we switch tasks only. Find that here. Keep in mind how much time a task takes you before you try to tackle it. Attempting what isn't manageable will only damage you.
Some things you do are daily chores/tasks. They happen every day or every week for you. Others only happen once a month (paying bills) or once a year. What is one and done, and you are avoiding it, should be at the top of the list. If you are biting a bullet or ripping off a bandaid, metaphorically, it needs to be done sooner rather than later.
The time you take to do something is important. You can cut it really close if you think you have days to do something and then it takes days to do, and you had to rush. Take the time to figure out how long doing something takes you by timing it or logging it. For example, this blog was started at 3 pm-ish and it is now about 5 o'clock. If you know it takes you more than one hour don't make yourself do it in an hour. Give yourself realistic standards. Chunk it if you have to. A little bit a day gives you forward progress. Deadlines are real and can really bite if you don't keep on top of it. Some people need to give themselves a deadline to keep themselves going, like my husband.
Courtesy of Filtergrade.com
One way to look at this is through a square called the Eisenhower Matrix. It separates the important from the urgent. You can clearly see in the picture I included of what this is. If it is urgent and important it is a "do", if important and not urgent "schedule it", if urgent and unimportant you "postpone", and if it is not on both counts on the square you just don't do it.
Another method is the ABCDE method, which has you giving tasks letters and numbers. A at highest and E at lowest, you give your tasks a letter, then a number of what order you'd do it in. You'll get tasks D2 and A3 and such by the end, which gives you an order to put it in.
Apps That Can Help
I don't want to go too long on this, so I'm just going to leave you to explore these apps. Apps on this list are all highly suggested in a best apps article. Some of these are really fun, like Habitica (which makes your tasks like quests). Look them up as you wish to, and I'll give you the articles to look at here: 8 best to do list apps of 2023 | Zapier and here: 8 To-Do List Apps To Help You Get Organized - CNET
Todoist
TickTick
Microsoft To Do
Things
OmniFocus
Habitica
Google Tasks
Any.do
Google Keep
Apple Notes
Apple Reminders
Notion
PenBook
Oh, and no, I can't forget a wrote a book, especially now that I'm more than halfway to my first goal of selling 50 books. I have sold 34 books as of this weekend.
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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have two five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page.
Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him?
Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.
While women seem to encounter uncomfortable situations more often than men, women can be dangerous, too. Today we're talking about the ones that make you uncomfortable, but you aren't sure if they are misunderstood or dangerous.
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So, I hate to tell you the world is a dangerous place, but here we are. The people who make you uncomfortable go into two categories; either they didn't mean to and are harmless, or they aren't harmless. Let's look at key differences based on the research I did.
Strangers or acquaintances can be dangerous. Stanger danger is not the biggest problem. Sometimes others can hurt you as they get closer to you. This is not exclusively about strangers on the street. I'm going to warn you of things you shouldn't be doing and tell you straight up that your gut is worth listening to.
What To Be Aware Of
Ted Bundy used to ask for assistance getting to his car and then force the woman helping him into the car. Don't help the people who give off dark vibes. Don't be a victim of someone taking a page from Ted Bundy's playbook. If they look capable of doing it alone and are not your trusted friend and neighbor be wary. Additionally, don't lend them your cell phone if you don't know them. Direct them to the nearest store or help desk within the store (or just get out).
Forced "let me help you" behavior is not good, either. "I insist" is not a loving helpful soul; a loving helpful soul will understand when you don't want help. Keep your hands on your groceries and don't let them take them. Predators will try to take your stuff.
Another ploy to get personal info may come in the form of TMI (too much information), which then could lead to you spilling more info than you intended. When getting to know people be wary of what you share and to whom. You don't have to reciprocate.
Manners are for those that respect you. Read it again. If your gut says run, don't worry about politeness. Slam that door and go. Serial killers have literally gotten through front doors with sales presentations because of this situation. Don't be letting that happen. Tell your kids that manners are not for the ones who are dangerous.
Stalking
I did a blog on the legal definition of stalking before. As a writer, I do observe the people around me. I
am open about this. I don't follow them home. I friend them on their social media and make friends with them in person. I like to figure out MBTI personality types. If they don't like that I leave them alone. Stalking is not people-watching. Most writers are not following people around. Click this link to read about legal stalking and this link to read about character inspiration risks. You'll get clearer context from such blogs.
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Irresponsible people watchers may stumble into this if they go too far. All the same, intent makes a big difference. I do outline this in the linked blogs above. Irresponsible people watchers and bad private detectives could get arrested for stalking.
Now, we talk about the signs you are being stalked. Getting the willies because this one person shows up more and more often? That's one right there. Most of us know our stalkers. Heaven knows we've all been misunderstood and stupid, but the people purposely doing this are a different situation.
Did you ever get the feeling you were being watched? Like bugs bunny, I have been. You can feel the eyes on you. They follow you as you walk down the hall past the clear windows. They peer in windows at you. They linger in hallways. It sucks. I don't wish to be crude, but I'm saying it like it is. I've had at least two in my lifetime.
Repeated social contact is another sign. Messages, phone calls, or any verbal messages left for you or on paper are red flags when you aren't seeing them socially. An example would be a past ex of mine calling and leaving long messages after we broke up. Yes, people get upset, but if they don't leave you alone at all and it's been months... run!
Did you order flowers? No? Then why did someone you met at the gym two weeks ago send them? This is a fictional example, of course, but I do think it is valid. It could happen. Unwanted gifts include random flowers and other assorted gifts that you didn't encourage someone to give you. Basically, beware of strange gifts - especially if you get a call asking if you received the chocolates on your porch (fictional, but valid example).
Oddly enough, you can be "rescued" by a stalker who created the need for the rescue. Did they drain your gas tank and come by to give you a lift? Is your tire suddenly flat and they have an extra? Don't let them help you. Call a trusted friend and family member instead. Call AAA (triple A - a car care service). Maybe they are more subtle, though, like offering their umbrella or a granola bar when you forgot your lunch.
Manipulating you into contact is not good. A threat to hurt themselves or others is a way they do this. Also, legal battles are a way to get in contact with you. There are many ways they can manipulate you into social interaction.
Cyberstalking is a hard thing to prove legally. In a world where everyone you know has snooped a profile of an ex or attractive person, what is stalking? This is a category all its own that ties right into unwanted contact. It just has to do with internet contact, that's all. Hit that block button if you need to. It works miracles. Do understand, though, that some people may just like posts because they are fun posts. If you notice someone liked your posts a lot you can ask why.
Are they trying to isolate you? Run! Damaging your reputation to pick you off easier is never okay. It never will be okay, either. Maintain that social circle. Keep your friends updated about your concerns. Make allies to keep you safe.
Worst case scenario, violence happens and threats are made. Did they hurt you or your car? Did they hurt your friends and family? Call the police. Tell them everything with documented evidence of someone stalking you. Document it all. Erase nothing from your phone or social media. This is beyond "I can handle it". Get help from the police now.
Lastly, too much unwanted attention is a real red flag. This ties into a neat bow along with another red flag, which is someone showing up more often than you think is normal. Maybe they looked harmless. Maybe all they did was annoy you. Maybe all they did was stand there and stare at you. Still, it isn't good if you look at the big picture and get alarmed.
Dangerous
This is a struggle. Danger doesn't come with a standard face. I've dated people who are very attractive and gotten hurt. I've also found people with less-than-great social cue awareness that appear harmful, but turn out to be harmless and not so perceptive. I can even admit that everyone (myself included) has been toxic to someone else at some point in their lives. Perfection isn't possible unless your name is Jesus Christ. We are not black or white and good or bad; we are grey, a mix of both. It just depends on what path we decide to follow.
Anyone getting into your head and using weaknesses against you, in other terms emotionally abusive, is dangerous. Emotional abuse is never okay. Others may see it before you do. Listen to them. I've been there. I blocked it out and reasoned it out as okay when I was in that dark place. Gain distance if you see others continuing to point out you're in danger. Step back and assess before it gets any worse. Get out of the situation as soon as you can. Heal from it with the help of others.
What complicates things is....drum roll.....social media! I once liked a whole bunch of posts because they were fun posts. I didn't know they'd show up on that person's notifications. I was in my early high school years. It didn't get a positive reaction. I have since deleted that account. I was embarrassed by my younger self (for more than just that reason) and restarted entirely. I actually think that we need to teach a class on social media dos and don'ts for everyone who is at an age to use it. Why is this important? Words can get misinterpreted real quick. Misuse of social media can be misunderstood. My best advice is to talk to the person directly and see what their intentions actually are. Maybe you had a long string of fun posts, maybe your words meant something else, and maybe the intent behind the actions wasn't dangerous. On the other hand, I can see that someone could easily use social media with dark intent. It is scary how much you can learn about habits and places someone goes via the media accounts they post on. It is scary to see someone pretend to be someone else. Be careful what you post and answering DMs. It speaks of where you go, what you like, who you hang out with, what you do daily, and so much more. Be wary that strangers and dangerous individuals can glean info from your profiles and posts. Learn how to use your social media in a safe way. Learn the dos and don'ts. Teach your kids how to use the accounts they own carefully and what to share.
Apparently, an individual saying "you share first" all the time might be a sign of danger. They are reading you (not a bad thing if done innocently, but a horrible thing if done with malicious intent). All the time is a red flag. Many people read each other. We all read each other. When we read each other for the sake of manipulation or intent to harm it becomes a weapon. It indicates concealed intentions. In direct connection, we all know that some steal credit for work not done by them. Let's talk about Tesla and how many patents he had stolen. Those who steal credit are bad news. Playing dumb is another thing you might see from a deceptive soul, though that could also be to save hurting feelings. Again, playing dumb may be just someone with Sherlock skills not freaking you out. It depends on what the intentions are behind that.
Drama is one thing that needs to stay on the stage. If it keeps coming up unnecessarily you might have someone with you that intends to make you come to them. You'll want to address the issue. They'll bring another one up and attack on another front. I've experienced that before. The person proved to be poison to more than one person. Drama magnets that cause drama, end up cutting people from their life because they "had to", and are not welcomed by family may be dangerous. The list of issues they caused could be rolled out like a scroll.
If someone wants you dependent on them, they might give you a task and withhold vital information that would have you succeed. They then prove to you that you need them. They are keeping you tethered to them. Being dependent on humans is a recipe for failure, which they will keep giving to you.
Ah, gifts, but it isn't my birthday? Why did I receive flowers today? Who's my secret admirer? Gifts at random are a way to make the victim feel indebted to the giver. If it isn't Christmas, birthday, retirement, wedding, graduation, a celebratory occasion, or gratitude for something be careful. You don't have to reciprocate. Unpredictable in general is a bad sign. Most people fall into habits and stay there for a while, changing as life does. Rapid fire changes aren't normal.
Timing is everything. Did someone disappear during a crisis and then save the day multiple times? Well, be wary. They are manipulating you into admiring them. The timing of questions also fits into this. Questions timed during odd moments get more honest answers. Sometimes what you share can hurt you more than you thought.
People in power sometimes back dangerous individuals because the individual played the victim or sucked up to them. You yield to people in power and feed them flattery to get power. Politics and Hollywood is full of toxic people who used others as stepping stones. Speaking of stepping all over people, a trail of victims or scapegoats may indicate a dangerous individual. Believe a trail of victims. Run if you see it.
A dangerous person will maintain appearances to an extreme. Their image is everything. Professor Lockhart is a great example of this. He erased memories in the wizarding world (fictional) to make himself look great. Nothing is neutral and in extremes this is narcissistic. You challenge these people and they'll fly off the handle.
We all have baggage. We all need to work through our issues. Remember when I said we've all been toxic? It turns out that when you are hurt, you hurt others. Yep, that one stings. Be real. We're human. We become dangerous when we let issues sit untreated for a long time. We only become dangerous when that issue is brought up, sometimes. It is okay to get help for something. Resolve those issues and keep on moving.
Be wary of those that air grievances in public all the time. Privately solving issues is a good thing to do. Publicly putting all the laundry out for everyone to see is a dramatic move. We already talked about drama. It's bad. Ego is a big factor here. They won't be working things out in the relationship and won't be making it work. They act out and don't deal with stuff.
Patterns speak volumes, which tie right into the trail of victims and scapegoats. The wreckage follows them. You can find them by the wreckage they leave. They justify it, too. Half-truths can happen here easily. Subtley dangerous individuals won't take responsibility for what they've done. It is everyone else's fault. Oh, and gaslighting is here to party, too. When it comes into play you need to run, fast, right now. If you want more info on a gaslighter, click here.
Misunderstood and Harmless
Ah, and here we are in the land of false alarms. Social cues being low may account for some behavior that triggers perceived threats. Intent is everything. Real threats indicate real harm and intent to harm, and perceived threats cause anxiety levels to rise unwarranted. Every perceived threat is different for every person. We all have triggers for fear. Your past experiences color your triggers for fear. No one can read anyone's mind.
How do we decide who's creepy? Perception is everything. Your past experiences immediately become relevant information in your brain. Not everyone at the gas station at ten pm is there to be a creep. Not everyone who passes you in the darkened street is going to come after you. All the same, you might get scared, especially if you are petite and female.
If you are male you are going to get misunderstood more often. Men are considered higher on the creep factor due to the violent nature attached to some bad apples. The Victorian ideal of women doing no wrong didn't go away; it just trickled down through our society like a small creek. Additionally, women will perceive more threats than men, which is directly connected to the patriarchal society we live in. There is nothing wrong with patriarchy if everyone is kind and considerate of others, but some men have ruined this. Those bad apples just made men more threatening.
Some professions come across as creepy. Death scares people, so it should come as no surprise to hear that those working in the death industry come off as creepy. That doesn't mean your coroner or funeral director is dangerous, though. Do you want to know what professions get perceived as creepy? Clowns, taxidermists, sex-shop owners, and funeral directors.
Abnormal is the word to focus on. Those that don't socially behave "normally" are seen as off. Many people don't think this is on purpose but also believe they can't change. Not all people with disabilities make others uncomfortable, but some do. Hobbies that are commonly seen as creepy include collecting dolls, insects, or body parts, or watching children, porn, or birds. To clarify, some of these should be giving us the creeps, and others (like bird watching) are harmless. Porn is an addiction that hits 5 to 8 percent of individuals in 2023. Many people you know may have struggled to be free of this addiction. It would shock you how many people silently struggle. Maybe a portion of them are dangerous, yet many people are not and feel shame for this addiction.
We fear dark and high-crime areas. Women are going to be carrying mace in some places. Where one person feels safe, another may not. To be honest, we live in a society where some women surrounded by men feel unsafe, but most men surrounded by women may feel gleeful. Bad experiences in one setting can absolutely set off alarms. I don't like gas stations at night and malls alone, mostly because of crime novels and the fact trafficking happens in Canton malls sometimes. Know Thyself.
The conclusion I'm coming to is this; what is considered creepy is relative. Women have a more sensitive danger meter than men. Our society has caused this. This is why Jesus came and paid our debts; we need help. Some industries also feed the odd and abnormal functions that make predators. Porn in one person may cause shame, but others may start imitating it by force. Don't let strangers pick you up in malls and public places. Don't go home with a dude you met at a bar. You don't know what they intend. Take a hint from "the best song ever" by One Direction. Stay in that public place for your date.
I said can I take you home with me. She said never in your wildest dreams.
Support For Others
If you see something, please say something. You may not be directly involved. You can still do good. University Health Services suggests remembering the three Ds: Direct, Distract, and Delegate.
Direct - Speak to those involved directly and check in on those who might be harmed.
Distraction - distract and make some diversion to let the person uncomfortable have an out.
Delegate - You don't know someone well or can't be direct, so you find someone who can help directly
Also, I need to address the elephant in the room. If you find yourself becoming toxic get help for yourself. Take care of your emotional baggage and needs. Clear your mental headspace. Take care of yourself so you can have a healthy relationship with others. Be aware of your mental health. It is okay to ask for help before you damage someone else or yourself.
Deciding If They Are Dangerous
First, we look at your perception. Are you bringing bad memories to the table that cloud the facts of the situation? Write out what has happened. Talk to others about their perceptions of the person in question. Don't assume anything until you have the facts down on paper.
Second, we look at what they have done and what your gut says after you've processed your own thoughts. Still seeing red flags? Tell someone. Still not sure? Tell someone. It's better to be wrong and have them be harmless than to not protect yourself and find they are dangerous.
Keep in mind people are grey. We are complicated. Don't blow something out of proportion or downplay it too much. If your intuition is screaming at you go talk to someone who has your back. Find an advocate and a wise source of advice. Don't go it alone. Maybe it is a misunderstanding. Maybe it isn't. Some people don't understand social cues and some are doing this on purpose. Intuition doesn't go off for no reason at all.
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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have two five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page.
Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him?
Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.
Did you ever think, "who thought this was a good idea"? Well, you will now. Take a quick look at this blog, video clips and all, to find out what movies were too dangerous to film - and were done anyway.
Courtesy of Blogger
Today we're talking about the films Roar, Waterworld, Apocalypse Now, The African Queen, Hell's Angels, Poltergeist, and The Conqueror. There are many films that cost lives out there, but we're just focusing on these. Many stuntmen suffered and died doing films. I would like to honor those who lost their lives or almost lost their lives working stunts on film sets.
Each movie will have a clip of a scene, some of them just normal clips and others show why it was dangerous. One of these is a scene I'll post a horror trigger warning of because it comes from Poltergeist, where a child was nearly strangled to death by a toy clown. The director had to save the child. I'll also note that I'm not going to be talking about set curses more than once, which are notorious on horror film sets. Yep, actors who act in horror films can be haunted themselves, but since I want to sleep tonight we're not going there. I draw the line.
Poltergeist
We'll start with the only horror one on the list. In this movie (1982 version) a clown toy goes behind a child actor and drags him under the bed while trying to strangle him. Speilberg had to save the child. The clip below is from a horror movie. Watch at your own risk. This is the clip where a child was genuinely in distress.
Okay, so I said we wouldn't talk about curses. This may be the one exception to my rule. I'm only looking at mishaps on the set itself or during the timeframe of the film, not the post-film ones. I will only touch on this in this section. Four people died during and soon after filming. Two are pretty weird. We'll name them off one by one. This was a series of films. 1986, 1988, and 2015 are the other years of the series' films.
Heather O'Rourke was already ill. She was diagnosed with Crohn's disease in 1987. She was six when the first film was released. She suffered cardiac arrest, was airlifted to a hospital, and died during an operation to correct a bowel obstruction. This one may have nothing to do with filming. She died when she was 12. All the same, they think she was cursed. We'll really never know.
Dominique Dunne died the year of the first film. Her ex-boyfriend killed her in her driveway. He went to prison for it and then was released after three years and six months in prison. Again, not happening on set. May not be related.
Julian Beck died of stomach cancer after the second film. Will Sampson died after an unsuccessful heart-lung transplant, which isn't so mysterious due to the slim chance of survival doctors had predicted already. These two are not mysteries.
Frankly, not much of this says "cursed" to me, except for the death frequency. Basically, all these actors were dying of illnesses. This wasn't the only reason the rumor of a curse appeared. Using real skeletons was a set decision that may have influenced that. These skeletons were meant for classrooms, but were used as props in the film. "Cheaper than plastic", apparently, was the reason for this. Oh, and the medicine man actor actually performed a real exorcism in front of the cast (Sampson, who later died).
Roar
The film Roar was a dangerous endeavor that shouldn't have been attempted. It is about a family living with lions. Nobody died, but there were 70 cast and crew injuries. Noel Marshall, married to Tippi Hedren, put his whole family in the film. Melanie Griffith (Hedren's daughter) had to have facial surgery after being mauled. Hedren fractured her leg, got bitten, and got gangrene. Marshall was hospitalized with gangrene. John Marshall, Marshall's son, got bit on the head for 25 minutes. According to Ranker.com ' Marshall also had some harsh words for his father: "Dad was a f*cking assh*le to do that to his family." ' Tippi Hedren apparently shared that thought because this film ended their marriage. She continued working with big cats, but no longer supported the idea humans and big cats could coexist in a home.
The shoot was a big zoo, with 132 big cats (lions, tigers, leopards, cougars, and jaguars) and one elephant. The director and his wife raised cubs in their home. The final cut of the film had real documented incidents in it. Actors crying out for help didn't stop the director from getting his shots for the film. Melanie Griffith's mauling is left in the film. One man was scalped by a lion and still came back to finish this project. Five years of shooting were needed to finish it. In 2015 it was released in the US. The clip below doesn't involve blood, but does show you enough to know how scared all these people were.
Waterworld
It is known for being the most expensive film in history. Kevin Costner, the star of it, ended up editing it after the director jumped ship on the project. The whole movie is set on the water. The set building began at 5 million dollars, then ballooned to 20 million. The seas were rough, so there were days they couldn't even shoot for the film. Actors became seasick. The script work was already not good as it was. Creative differences weren't helping. One actor kept getting stung by jellyfish, which earned her the nickname "jellyfish candy" from Kevin Costner.
Speaking of stuntmen from earlier, Costner's stunt double suffered a near-fatal embolism while deep-sea diving. He was lucky to recover and returned to set later. Time passes, weather conditions make things worse, more shooting days are needed, and we're at a 135 million dollar budget. Costner gave up some of his profits to keep it going. Then a hurricane hit. Make that cost 150 million dollars. This movie had a rough start and then didn't do well at all. It's done better as of late, but it was a hot mess to make. It's kind of an odd movie, too, which didn't really help its cause.
Apocalypse Now
This is a war film that takes place in lots of jungle areas, with a main character on a secret mission and itching for action. Martin Sheen, one of the stars, had a heart attack on set. Ford Coppola had put too much pressure on him psychologically. Sheen's hair was even graying. Coppola himself had a nervous breakdown and seizure. He declared his intention to commit suicide during the shoot. He was so dedicated to the film he pressed on despite the mental cost.
Sheen, in one scene, punches a mirror and gets blood on himself. That wasn't fake. Coppola had Sheen drunk and locked up some of the time, telling him awful things according to the cast. They didn't yell cut. It was a bad situation.
The locals agreed to work with them, and in doing this Coppola agreed to give them animals for ritual sacrifice, so when you see a water buffalo killed that's real. On top of that, a typhoon showed up to make things complicated. The military started to refuse cooperation, too.
They nearly used dead bodies, but then decided not to. They were going to string them up on trees. The bodies came from a grave robber. The police showed up and it got real awkward until they caught the graverobber.
Drugs were everywhere. Some used it to get through a day of shooting, like Dennis Hopper, who was provided the drugs in order to play his role. Nobody was okay. Dennis Hopper and Marlon Brando also hated each other. They even used real napalm.
Did I mention one of the construction crew died? A log fell on a construction crew worker while the set was under construction. It was a freak accident and a tragedy.
The African Queen
One of my favorite Humphrey Bogart films is actually one that caused many actors to be ill. It is a WWI comedy and romance. The crew and cast were okay in Uganda, but in the Congo things got problematic. Snakes, crocodiles, mosquitos, and bad water were just the tip of the iceberg. They were living in a camp hacked out of the jungle. They had to remember to shake their boots out in case a centipede crawled into them. They washed themselves in the river daily.
Most everyone got dysentery - except Humphrey Bogart and the director, who drank more whiskey than water. It saved them this time. Between takes Katherine Hepburn puked in a bucket. Bogart only ate baked beans, canned asparagus, and scotch whiskey. "Whenever a fly bit Huston or me, it dropped dead" according to Bogart.
It hit well, so it all paid off. The film is fun to watch. Nobody died, but nobody had fun either.
Hell's Angels
This 1930's film killed four people. It was directed by Howard Hughes. Two brothers join the British Royal Flying Corps and a love triangle happens. It was completed in three years. It became a talkie instead of a silent film. With vintage planes and mechanics with him, he filmed shots as realistically as he could. Today it would have cost 65 million dollars to film.
Hughes, though advised not to, flew one of those planes and got the shot he wanted, with the added cost of a plane crash. He came out with a fractured skull and went into surgery. The professionals he hired didn't get so lucky. C.K. Phillips crashed while flying to the shooting location. Al Johnson ran into tension wires, ended up in the hospital, and died a day later. Rupert Macalister died, though it wasn't recorded why. Phil Jones died operating a smoke generator and not getting out of the way of a bomber crash scene.
The Conqueror
This is a John Wayne film. This is not a film curse situation, to be clear, but a film that caused later deaths due to where they were filmed. This film allegedly killed John Wayne. He played Genghis Khan, of all the roles he could play. It wasn't typical of his roles. This film was shot in St. George, Utah. It was 100 miles away from an atomic bomb test site. The federal government said it was safe to be there. Unfortunately, one of the filming spots had actually become a radioactive hotspot. Oops. Eleven atomic bombs had been tested a year before they filmed, blowing contaminated air toward Utah.
Fast forward a bit and many cast now have cancer. It was connected back to filming this movie. I will say that this movie is theorized to have killed John Wayne, who died of lung cancer (and he says it was because he smoked). 220 cast and crew went out there. By now 91 had cancer and 46 had died of cancer. I think we can conclude they shouldn't have been out there. Howard Hughes, who funded it, spent 12 million dollars buying copies of the movie and watching it out of guilt. He felt responsible for the damage done. He couldn't have known about the radioactivity, but he sure felt guilty about it.
I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have two five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page.
Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him?
Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.
Women have makeup and trendy clothing marketed to us from an early age. We're taught by each other and the women around us that we should care what we look like. The men? Not so much. Today we're talking about why appearance seems to matter so much more in female society.
Courtesy of Stocksy United
What are women shown in media? Easy answer, what we're supposed to model. This is a problem. The female standard is fickle and constantly changes as time moves forward. We used to wear corsets, but now we're trying to achieve that silhouette by exercising. In many ways, the new standards promote unhealthy lifestyles and behavior.
Let's not mince words here. We need to address the elephant in the room. Whatever we wear we get judged, either by our peers or society as a whole. Men are visual, yes, but that isn't a reason to use that phrase as a mental battering ram. Men will be staring at you whether you are in jeans and a t-shirt or a bikini on the beach. They are programmed to pay attention to women because otherwise no one reading this would be born. My husband would think I was worth a million wearing a trash bag. While you shouldn't be parading in the nude or posting porn, it is equally true that we shouldn't have to be covering up in 90-degree heat for fear of judgment.
Unrealistic Standards
Victoria's Secret models are not the norm. Models in magazines have been edited. Society has expected us to have a flat stomach for a long time. Mine isn't flat and no amount of Zumba once a week will change that. Shakira may have one, but most of us haven't been belly dancing for most of our lifetimes. The point is that we're given unrealistic standards to follow by edited images. I've stated before that society screws men and us over by telling us to dress sexy. We then get judged for doing just what society said to do. Unfair is an understatement.
We are shoved into the beauty standard the minute we enter the school system and the outside world itself. Look back and see how many peers taught you to care about your hair, face, and body image. I revert back to tomboyism, especially now that I'm married and my husband is already impressed. I have no need to worry over how I look unless I'm going to a cosplay convention, wedding, funeral, or book signing. Do I care? Yes, I still care, yet I will never understand what drove my peers to wake up early and put on makeup every day.
As mentioned before, there are certain standards of beauty that need to die in a hole. One is a flat stomach, another is needing plump lips and butts, and the worst one of all is the need to be the trending body type. Gibson Girls are a shining example of a trending body type that is not healthy. Wasp-waisting is not safe and should never be attempted. All those I listed can cause self-esteem issues, bulimia, anorexia, and medical after-affects from injections. Please, you are beautiful the way God made you. Don't go getting surgery to fix what isn't broken.
Courtesy of Pinterest
Speaking of unfair standards, let's talk about fickle fashion. Because we have boobs (which really aren't just decoration) we have different rules. Those with large boobs never win. Those with practically no boobs never win. Nobody wins because fashion dictates what gets sold in clothing stores and it never stops changing. Most men don't have to deal with arbitrary rules and opinions on coverage and what is or isn't showing. Also, men don't have to deal with that in the leg department, either.
We are expected to look nice. Men can wear about anything to a school dance (especially in a rural area). Women have been taught they must wear a dress. Go ahead and think back or observe your school dances. Try to name one female that wasn't wearing a dress and makeup. If you can't think of one you aren't alone. We are taught to look good in public. We are also taught what is appropriate to wear by our community. Depending on whether you are Amish, Jewish, Christian, Hindu, Muslim, any other religious community I forgot, or have no religious background it changes. Our authority figures and peers teach us what is acceptable. Hollywood also gives us a standard to follow. Unfortunately, it sexualizes many women into being mere bodies to admire, like we aren't people. Marilyn, as we can see to the left, is one example of a sexualized woman who was exploited for her body.
Speaking as a Christian, I was told to care about my appearance by mostly school peers. Church clothes are a complicated issue if you go from a casually dressed church to a formal church setting. Generations past will also hold different opinions on "appropriate" clothing. Every church holds a different standard, it seems. I had a habit of wearing what I wanted despite other opinions. As long as it wasn't obscene (and it seldom was) my parents and family let me. I did wear my running shorts to basketball one day a few years ago, though, and it didn't go so well. It does make men uncomfortable to wear skin-tight shorts (oops), so I made sure those were Zumba and running shorts alone from then on out of respect. I see no issue with modesty in churches as long as rules are applied equally to both genders. My peers at school often liked making me over (hair, makeup). At this point in time, I don't try all that hard to impress with clothing and makeup. You'll also notice that modesty is something built into my clothing standard because I'm a tomboy. I don't post thirst traps. I get enough DMs as it is.
What you do without thinking about why
Shave your legs, trim your eyebrows, shave your armpits, use anti-pimple skincare... All these things are done by me without thinking about it too hard. Why? Women are taught to shave the hair on their legs and pits. We are taught to not let a unibrow develop. We are taught to care about our faces. Do you stop to think about why you do your everyday beauty routine? Probably not. The double standard here is the fact men (minus a few) don't do these things.
You say "book signing" and I say "I need to pick out my outfit the night before". Why do I put on my heels, makeup, and my favorite black dress? When you stop and think about why women like me decide to put on a dress it has to do with public appearance. It also gives us positive feedback. I posted a picture (featured to the left) and got comments about how I looked "fire" (slang for good-looking if you aren't up on the latest slang). The positive feedback conditions us to put on makeup and a nice outfit when we want attention or want to feel good about our bodies. Ladies, whether we have our red lipstick on or not, I think we all look fire.
I value a clean house for multiple reasons. It is more of a mental health exercise than anything else. Many of us feel pressure to have a clean house as a woman. Why? Let's go back a few decades. The 1950s judged women heavily on their ability to keep a home happy and healthy while raising kids and doing all the cooking- and looking good while doing it. Women still feel pressure to be homemakers today. Times are changing, though. Your living space does have to do with your appearance and reputation. It still counts in this blog as an appearance.
Self-esteem
You wouldn't believe it, but I am insecure about my weight. Body image in most women is a real concern. We love parts of our bodies and feel insecure about other parts. My feet are not pretty. They used to be, though. Most women are definitely worrying about weight according to Psychology Today. The standard of having a flat stomach doesn't help our self-esteem.
Courtesy of Glamour A Victoria's Secret model on the street
Other women gender-police other women into looking the part of being female, so you can logically assume that comments on your weight, face, skin complexion, clothing, hairstyle, or any other aspect hold weight. Professionalism and dating require you to look good (circle back to me and my book signing). It impacts a lot of women who want romantic attention or professional attention. Makeup and antiaging products really sell the idea you need to look young (which comes back to the idea you are less likely to get a man when you look older). We compete with our fellow women, too. That doesn't help.
Gender stereotypes feed women young and old the lie that we need to be pretty all the time. The makeup industry thrives on women. Gender bias leads your family to give you feminine toys when you are a girl, discouraging the pursuit of masculine toys. It is reinforced by many people that females should care about the appearance of the home and be feminine.
According to The Guardian:
"Furthermore, constraining stereotypes have a negative impact on girls’ mental health, convincing them first that an ever more demanding paradigm of physical “perfection” must be met with apparent effortlessness and then that being “popular” – meek yet sociable – sexy but not “slutty”, sporty in a narrow, feminine parameter (not “too muscular”) are imperatives. This, combined with the ever-spiralling academic pressure experienced by all young people, understandably causes high levels of anxiety, which, when sustained over time, can lead to feelings of depression."
What we are taught by society teaches us to try to be pictures of perfection we can't be. Gender classes at Malone explored this concept deeply. Nancy Drew - my favorite fictional character - even embodies this in the original books. When the images of women onscreen show us sexualized women it doesn't help our self-esteem. Nobody wins this game. We aren't supposed to be playing this comparison game. Nevertheless, the comparison game spurs on the idea we need to make ourselves into a perfect woman.
Personal Challenge: Let's build each other up today.
I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have two five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page.
Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him?
Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.
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