Sex. It is why you exist and why you are sitting reading this blog, believe it or not. It is a natural thing for humans to do. We were built for it. Should it be depicted in fiction? Let's take a look at the pros and cons.
I'm looking at this from a Christian perspective. I am also going to define some things right out of the gate.
Erotica - literature written with the intended purpose of arousing the audience
Pornography - representations in word or image that are designed to arouse the audience
I'm going to make a point in saying that erotica and porn are purposely trying to turn on their audience. It is not accidental. It will not be a subtle one-paragraph of sex that does this. Fifty Shades of Gray is a whole book of sex, as an example (which I have never read and think it's trash all the same). I do not endorse a display that purposely tries to arouse your reader. You have to understand that most romantic suspense and romance novels that have a real plot and have historical context are not porn or erotica by the standards above (but if you think that the above definition fits any book you are probably reading one of the above).
One to two pages of a sex scene show up in lots of adult suspense and romances. Like I said, it doesn't fit the definition of erotica and porn in most cases. One vague sex scene is not erotica - but several detailed and obnoxiously corny sex scenes (cough cough, Fifty Shades of Gray, cough cough) are pornographic. I'd like you to know this for the rest of this blog.
Also, I don't plan to write any sex scenes, as a writer, but wanted to know what the Christian views were. In general, it kind of surprised me. Below you will find what I found. This is all research.
The Christian Perspective for Readers
Readers, I have heard both sides of the coin on reading sex scenes. I am actually going to focus on writers for most of the blog, so here is your part of this. It is your choice to open a book, correct? I have a list of questions to run through with books including sex, for guidance. Unfortunately, I run into discussions on Fifty Shades of Gray every time I ask the internet, but I'm not asking about that book.
1. Does it glorify unhealthy and dark sexual acts? - If yes, it might not be the best thing to read.
2. Is the whole book sex (good or otherwise)? - If no, you are fine, if I understand correctly.
3. Does it fall under the erotica definition above? - see above response. If no, you're fine.
4. Lust or love? - If you are reading pure lust, I'd stop and put it back.
5. Do you feel controlled by the content? - Stop reading if this is true.
The problem I'm seeing is that if we say nothing about sex (as the church) we leave people ignorant and others can lead them to it the wrong way. On the same token, sex can become a trap for some individuals. What do you do? Consult God. If you have the Holy Spirit He will convict you and lead you in what to read and what to leave alone.
God let Solomon write a sex poem. I take this as an omen that God isn't totally opposed to it - and that it matters what wording we read it in and our maturity. If you feel tempted by it to sin put it back on the shelf, but if not and there are only a few scenes there you might be fine. The problem is that every source labels any sex erotica in Christian sources (all or nothing perspective), so is Song of Solomon automatically erotica? If so, how did it get into our bible if erotica is all sex in books and not to be read? It doesn't make sense to say Song of Solomon is sinful to read when it is in our Bible. I think you see my dilemma. I have no clear answer to give. God created sex, yes, but I think that addressing lust and sexual addiction is the problem. It only becomes a problem if it controls you. Discern carefully. Give it to God first, then go from there. I wish I had a clearer answer, but I don't. Read the verse below and I hope it helps you discern.
18“Are you so dull?” he asked. “Don’t you see that nothing that enters a person from the outside can defile them? 19For it doesn’t go into their heart but into their stomach, and then out of the body.” (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods clean.) 20He went on: “What comes out of a person is what defiles them. 21For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23All these evils come from inside and defile a person.”
For the Writers in the Room
Yes, there are Christian authors who don't write in the Christian fiction section. Yes, they do write love scenes. Yes, God did create us for sex. No, a steamy sex scene does not belong in every book in the library. Use it only when it is believable if you feel comfortable writing it. I found some guidelines from an author that outlines when to use it and why. The reasons below are from Sherrie Hansen's blog (a link will be in the sources below). She believes that sexual desire in characters is honesty about the human race. She is also Christian.
1. It has to have a point and reveal relevant details about the characters themselves. It has to have a point. It has to be relevant to the plot. If you can cut it out of the book and not have to edit anything else, you need to delete that entire scene.
2. There has to be some sort of repercussions and change in the characters after the sex. People are bonded by it. Someone becomes pregnant. It has to affect the relationships of the people in the plot.
3. Write it respectfully, honestly, and portray it as the gift God gave us. Sex is beautiful in its own way and may be a sin outside of marriage, but it is still fun (I'm told).
4. It should have a lesson. When done in the right way it will be beautiful. When done in the wrong circumstance it can be disastrous.
Your audience will have entirely different tolerances to sex scenes and the level of emotional heat. Some, like me, tolerate it for the sake of the other content. Others don't want to read it at all. Some could read 15 pages of sex and not even blush. 15 pages of sex are too much and are probably crapola in general, but you get my point. No one person is the same.
There is a cheat to sex scenes that lots of writers use - hinting about it. Put simply, you suggest that they are about to have sex or show them after sex, but never show the sex. It is easier than writing the actual steamy scene. I do this in my writing if I want to suggest that sex was had or was about to be done. Less is more allows the audience to use their own imagination without plunging them into a "Woah! That's not what I asked for!" description. It's nice if you didn't read the romance for a vivid sex scene and want more plot. However, if you want to write it please add emotional significance to it.
Your thought life is your thought life. Do not blame another human for your struggles. Fight your battles and decide whether it is okay to read it or not. If you open a book with sex in it (that you knew about already) you actively choose to read it. I don't believe that we should lie about the truths of life and human nature. People break and make mistakes or get married and have beautiful sex. We can't just lie about human nature. Besides, even the Bible itself talks about sex. It was in Eden. It is also noted that it was subtly put into poetry, where young children won't understand it. There is a responsibility to portray it correctly and like God intended, so Christian writers shouldn't be showing abusive sex as normal sex.
There are several other points when writing sex scenes. One of them is that sex is good and it may be misused, but God designed it. Another equally important thought is that it should be depicted appropriately. Christian authors of past times didn't shun sex - so we shouldn't, either. Audiences of different ages are also absorbing sex differently, so know your readers before you write the scene. It is to be considered that we are responsible to portray sex appropriately, but we are not responsible for the sin of our readers. Showing the brokenness of our world is not, in any way, something to avoid. Show the world a mirror to the face, by all means. We all need God's grace and we need to spread the word - and perfect protagonists don't reveal our brokenness and need for Jesus. Immorality is sin, so don't portray it as something without consequence. Sin is wrong. Write it as such.
Badly Written Sex
Fifty Shades of Gray is so badly written that even without the pornographic content it is worth nothing. I have said so a few blogs before this. Sex that is horribly written is worse than an unnecessary sex scene and readers will throw the bad work in the trash or mock it with their friends (so, if you heard about the film The Room, that's an example of mocking a form of media). Some books have one awful 12-page sex scene that makes someone stop reading 70 percent through the book (me, I stopped reading). I commit to books and try to finish them, so that's pretty bad! A sex scene should not be 12 pages.
But wait, there's more! You can earn an award for writing the worst sex scene of the year. The Bad Sex in Fiction Award is a real thing. The award is given for horrible sex scenes in otherwise good fiction. It began in 1993, given by the Literary Review, and was canceled in 2020 because nobody needs bad sex on top of the dumpster fire of 2020, according to the Literary Review.
The link to the winning participants of past years (that can create good laughs later) is here: https://literaryreview.co.uk/bad-sex-in-fiction-award.
If you are a writer and want to be taken seriously, please don't win the above award. The advice below is how not to write a sex scene. If you can't do it well, take my word as an avid reader and don't do it at all.
1. If it reveals nothing about your character, you failed. Delete it.
2. If you ended tension too quickly, delete it.
3. The quote below is brilliant. Listen to this advice! :
"Most of us take longer to eat a pizza than we do to have sex. So here's a tip:
Write the longest description of eating pizza that you can. Go on a little longer than you think you should. Include smells, tastes, temperature, everything you can.
Now cut it down to a tight paragraph or two.
Print this out, tape it to the wall, and if you’re writing a sex scene longer than that, you’re going on too long."
4. Is it boring and the audience is not close enough? Delete it.
5. Did you write it because you think you have to? Delete it.
6. Is it more "tell" than "show" (show vs tell is an editing checkpoint in anything, btw)? Rewrite it or delete it.
7. Lastly, sex is not a way to show love by itself - you can do better. It is not the go-to show of attraction you need. I repeat - you can do better.
When writing Young Adult sex scenes (because in some individual cases and situations it is appropriate, if worded correctly and if it is part of the plot) the link here is helpful: https://theconversation.com/honest-and-subtle-writing-about-sex-in-young-adult-literature-48002
Remember your audience, every time, or you may be showing too much or not enough. Someone who is younger will not understand or will see the vaguest sex scene as too awkward. If you are going to insist on sex scenes in young adult fiction, be as vague as you possibly can and don't be graphic. In this case over one paragraph is too much. Word it correctly and carefully. Don't write an adult scene for a young adult reader. The portrayal is everything here. Click the link above. Less is more is an established rule here. Hinting is enough!
Closing Remarks
I am seeing a problem with how some Christian writers view writing sex and what readers are told. Something isn't adding up. Readers are told all sex in books is bad, in some cases, even if the characters are redeemed and face real consequences, or are married. Honestly, it is part of the reason Christian authors don't always end up in the Christian genre of the library. Sometimes we can't talk about touchy subjects in some Christian fiction and it doesn't help. People will only find inaccurate portrayals of sex in other books later, so why aren't we talking about the truthful, beautiful picture of sex in Christian context in our fiction? I understand that if you have lust and porn addiction you shouldn't be reading any sex in books, but not everyone has that problem. Go to God first, above all, before reading. Know your thought life and make a decision with that in mind.
Writers, I have never written a sex scene (so, all of this is researched). I cheat and show the before or after, but not the sex. I do think that less is more, but I will tolerate a necessary sex scene in my fiction reading to get to the rest of the plot. Christian bubble thinking does not always make some writers and readers feel okay with sex in fiction. "Know your audience" is the best advice any writer can ever get when it comes to touchy subjects. If you want it to be put in your church library you might want to avoid it. It depends if you care.
I will kindly point out that CS Lewis and JRR Tolkien are not all put into the Christian section, nor do they include sex. It does not make you less Christian to have a book in the mystery, fantasy, or romance section instead of the Christian section. You can still portray Christ's love and grace in a book including sex, if this research is proof of anything, but it isn't a license to put sex in everything. Tolkien and Lewis did just fine without it. If you are going to write it and are determined to do so make it truthful. Do not add to the world's sensual crapola. Christian perspectives on sex need to be put out there; the world's view of sex needs to be challenged should you write a portrayal of sex.
In case you are curious, Tolkien's views of sex are in these links here: https://www.christianunion.org/the-magazine/1240-man-does-not-live-on-sex-alone-tolkiens-words-of-wisdom
https://www.intellectualtakeout.org/article/jrr-tolkien-sex-and-love/
https://ansereg.com/warm_beds_are_good.htm
Should your book be wonderful without sex do not add a steamy scene. Unnecessary sex scenes create trashy novels. Spread the word!
Pictures:
Pedestrian TV
Nothing in the Rulebook
Sources:
https://sherriehansen.wordpress.com/2016/04/20/is-there-such-a-thing-as-christian-love-scenes/
https://prismaticprospects.wordpress.com/2016/02/19/romance-in-christian-fiction-how-much-heat-is-too-much/
https://barbaraleeharper.com/2010/08/19/sexuality-in-christian-fiction/
https://charitysplace.wordpress.com/2015/02/01/sex-the-christian-writer/
https://storyembers.org/how-should-christian-authors-depict-sex/
https://litreactor.com/columns/what-good-are-sex-scenes
https://theconversation.com/honest-and-subtle-writing-about-sex-in-young-adult-literature-48002
No comments:
Post a Comment