The eyes are the window to the soul, some say. Is that true? Read on and we'll find out.
Apparently, your pupils change size with emotion. It is the honest cue to social interest and attraction. Involuntary pupil size will be a dead giveaway to whether someone is truly interested in anyone to any degree. You may even fake a smile, but you can never fake the size of the pupils.
How do you know what you are seeing in someone's eyes? Afraid you are seeing hate? Let me give you some guidelines. Bright, elongated eyes are indicators of feeling good. Full attention is open and penetrating gaze. Sadness is eyelids and the lower edge of the eyebrow raised. Arched eyebrows can be anger. Narrowing of eyes can mean we don't understand or don't agree. Half-open eyes are clearly tiredness. Dilated pupils are sexual desire or anger. If the eyebrows go up and down upon seeing you they are happy to see you. One eyebrow raised is skeptical. Eyebrows raised and held suddenly can be worry or surprise.
Even the Bible agrees with me on this. Matthew 6:22-23 reflects that the eyes are the lamp of your soul and that healthy eyes will make the whole body shine. Where your eyes go, your focus is.
It is deemed extremely important in our society to make eye contact. Many reasons for this are given. Aside from society's rules, let's talk about what making eye contact does for us socially.
Lack of eye contact is seen as disinterest, disconnection, and not wanting to draw attention to oneself. A lot of eye contact can be many things, such as anger, threat, attraction, or disrespect (especially in Japan).
Introverted souls know this struggle well. We don't like to make a lot of eye contact. It makes people think we are disconnecting and being rude on purpose. That is an outright lie. Introverts see much more in your eyes than others - they see who you are and read you. That can be kind of scary for both of us, thus we don't make as much eye contact unless you are close to us. It's an intimacy thing, really, so extroverted souls need to understand that. When we do stare into space we are somewhere in our mind palaces or brains, and then we stare unintentionally through anything around us.
You can, generally, tell if you are talking to an introverted or extroverted human by eye contact timing. How? Extroverts make eye contact while talking and look around when listening, but introverts break eye contact when they talk and give solid eye contact when listening. That is not a for-sure rule (as I tend to listen and not make eye contact on odd occassions as an introvert), but it is somewhat proven. Introverts are also less likely to look at an angry individual, too, which is proven.
Extroverts are more about eye contact for another reason as well; they get social energy from other people. Eye contact is a connection. Introverts can and will lose energy giving consistent eye contact to everyone. Extroverts? Nope, they love it. The intimate gesture of eye contact in an introvert is a great, beautiful compliment because the individual is comfortable with you. They saved some of their social energy for you every time they make direct eye contact.
Gender and Eye Contact
Does it make a difference if you are talking to the opposite sex? Yes. Why else do women wear eye makeup? We want to draw attention to ourselves and the eyes will get more admiration and signal interest. It is a flirting tactic to make eye contact for a long period of time.
Women get more eye contact and staring in society for several reasons. We are seen as nicer and might respond nonverbally, for one, or we are considered weak. The victorian ideal that said "women can do no wrong" didn't totally disappear. Men will stare at women. We have boobs, curves, and legs that men's wiring can't ignore - and we know when someone has been staring at our butts or our legs. Some men try to hide the staring (the ones who don't want to be seen as creepy) and then some just can't or don't. The predators are easily discernable, largely because they have a look in their eyes that tells you so. It makes you feel extremely uncomfortable and you will not be able to ignore them. Go with your gut on that one.
Men will also get more eye contact at some points due to status. Yes, status, because if the individual finds men superior to women they might even ignore the woman present (especially in the east). That is frustrating to womankind, but it still happens. Children will find the same problem when doctors talk to adult parents about medical anything. The person getting the eye contact is the one with the most attention and power. People who don't like men at all may decide to give women more eye contact.
Women tend to read others with their eyes and bond using eye contact. Men use it to assert themselves. Both use it to flirt. Ladies, be aware that lowering eye contact does not help in power-dynamic situations. Look at Judi Dench compared to a woman who is merely an assistant. As M in James Bond films, Judi Dench is a woman that challenged men with direct eye contact and firm, strong words that aren't fluff. Watch Bond movies looking for her eye contact. Do you want her power? Make that eye contact! Men, make sure your women feel you care by not overpowering them and bonding with your eyes. We need to know we matter. Attention and admiration (without leering and staring, of course) are extremely appreciated. When done well, we get a boost in our mood and you get more attention in return.
The gender of the person is actually important to where your gaze goes. We women often look at the left side of the face. This is proven by an actual study of 500 people, so this is not a myth on the interwebs. While they couldn't be sure of some things, they can be sure of this; women read lips better, as well as body language in general.
Conclusions
The fact that a woman can feel the eyes of a man who is checking them out from across the room is further proof of the eyes being the window for the soul. I, personally, have felt that kind of stare before, just like every woman you have ever run into. That goes into the subject of mens' wiring, of course, but if you want information on that click here. I wrote a whole blog on that.
My point here is that if we can read other people by their eyes there is something to that phrase. There are doctors who read stress levels off of the eyes of patients (a good medical practice). The invisible connection between two humans making eye contact is amazing. I have no words to explain how that is possible. Some individuals can have a whole conversation with their eyes (and be understood!). There is something supernatural about it (not paranormal, though).
A Quick Note On Future Blogs
I will be taking a short break from blogging. Given that, there are two more new blogs released with this one that will be linked below. I'll see all of you readers when I get back and I'll have some fresh content for you. God bless!
No comments:
Post a Comment