Introvert zones and what you need to know

 Introverts are like phones; we need to be left alone for a bit to recharge. Our time by ourselves is for your safety. How well we function depends entirely on how charged up we have been. In other words, we have introvert zones and should be allowed to sit in them, much like how you set a phone on the counter and do something else. 

Photo by Elle Australia

An introvert zone is a place or general area where an introvert goes to recharge alone. Sometimes other people are let into it and other times they invade without permission. Quite a few people are oblivious to the introvert zone. Perceptive people step into it and step back out if you seem annoyed. Today I'm going to give you the basic rundown of why this is important. 

Why We Need It

Introverted people need a break from socializing and the noise of the outside world a bit more often than extroverts. Extroverts need it too, yes, but not nearly as much. We only have so many safe places that are sacred, such as our office, our apartment, our car, and inside a good book. If we can't function at normal levels due to constant interruption it is not good for us or extrovert-kind. I'd like to love the people around me with all of Jesus' love. When I am socially exhausted I can barely be nice. For the sake of introverts everywhere, I will kindly explain the concept to those who are not overly aware of it. 

When You Are Allowed In

This is an honor. You see, it means we love you or like you enough to keep you around while we recharge. Our closest friends can sit with us while we are plugged into our zones. This is provided that you don't cost us energy. We have to be close for this to happen or be fellow introverts. The exceptions to the rule have to do with friendship and dating. I can sit beside my husband and recharge, but maybe not all my coworkers and friends. Our friends give us energy at different levels, so some friends may not be let into my recharge zones and some friends might be. You are still my friend, regardless of if you can plug in with me.

When You Are Invading

Some people are oblivious to their invasion of our introvert zones. It is highly annoying when they are, whether we love them or not. It is jarring to have your peaceful, quiet place taken from you in one instant, then be unable to lose the person who did it. It is either that or they do it for short times and extremely often. Introverts reading this can probably name names at this point in the paragraph. Most of the time the culprits are blind to our zones. 

Do you think you've invaded our zones at one point or another? Let me give you some signs that you have. Some of us can mask our annoyance, while others can be straight-up rude, but look for these signs anyway. People who lack social cues may not see these signs so easily. 

Photo by funny Brazil

Annoyance is the first sign that they want you to leave. It can be anything from a quickly-masked flash of emotion to body language that says "I was busy". We might act busy. If introverts are not happy to see you, but otherwise you have no quarrel at all, you might have stepped into their alone time and cost them energy. Much like a phone, it can't charge if you use it. This can be subtle and be conveyed via tone, body language that isn't open or toward you, and choice of words. 

Depending on the person, they may be less conversational and shut down any attempts. One word and curt answers may be normal in some people. I will note that specific humans are not generally high on word count. I am talking about those that converse with others often while socializing. Should you step into their personal space and try to talk to them, they might shut it down or let it die quickly. They may even tell you they are busy. I tend to be polite, so it usually looks like me nodding and giving one-word answers (making it a one-sided conversation). My eyes have been known to glaze over at points. This doesn't phase some individuals, for whatever reason, so I let them exhaust their words (if there is no escape).

Work environments allow you to send someone on an errand occasionally. Trying to get the person to leave via sending them on a task is one way we try to gain our peaceful zone back. If another human you are trying to interact with is diverting you to somewhere else (work or home) they may need a moment. Workspaces are sometimes our zones. I know that I like prepping and cleaning the kitchen at my evening job alone. I have let others do errands for me to get them out of my zone (I'll note that they offered to help every time). 

Photo by Meme Generator

Leaving the room is an option we sometimes use because we don't need to kill anyone that day. You can see from Loki's expression here that he wants to because they interrupted his zone. I'm joking about the killing, but I'm somewhat not joking. "Killing" is defined here in this paragraph as "crushing someone's soul with words or actions". Being so overwhelmed that you need a moment to yourself to keep it together is one reason we recharge. People who drop in on us at the wrong time may receive a death glare or sharp words, none of which are what Jesus wants us to do. If we can leave we do. It is for the sake of your feelings that we spare you our true thoughts. Introversion is not a reason to be mean to other humans. 

There are, however, people who will be rude about your invasion. They might crush your soul a bit. I'm so sorry. Not everyone is polite, nor is everyone rude, but sometimes we all let words loose. Being at the end of your sanity rope, being socially exhausted, and being stressed can lead right into an outburst when one invades our zones. There will be humans that don't hold back their fire, as well as those who tried and failed. Nobody is perfect. 

Photo by Log Into Facebook

Reading is an activity usually done solo unless you are teaching or have kids. Please do not waltz over to someone deeply absorbed in a book and ask "What you readin'?". Nothing annoys me more. A book is a zone. I am happy to converse with you about books - just not while I have one open in my hands! Closed book? Sure, say hello. Open book? Stop and walk away. I promise, I love you all, but unless you have something important to say to me leave me in peace. I am within the world of the book I am reading. Important words should be said, but make it quick. Leave out the interruptive small talk. 

Reasons You Are Considered Invasive

You cost energy and don't give enough of it back if we don't want you in our sacred spaces. Those we let in are not costing us our social energy. They are either neutral (equal cost and energy giving) or give us more energy. This doesn't mean we dislike you. We'll go give you quality time after we've been plugged in long enough. You get a better version of us when you let us retreat and come back. 

Photo by 99memes

Why do you cost social energy? I sometimes don't know. It may depend on the day. Introverts get overstimulated by life, thus we need quieter zones for the sake of sanity. Chaos is our worst enemy. You may be too loud at times. Heck, you may just mean too much small talk in one conversation. One reason the people who invade my space rub me the wrong way is that they fill the comfortable silence and/or interrupt my workflow (as I work best alone). I don't hate them; I'd like to make that clear. They just irk me when they step in unaware that I don't want conversation or don't need anything. Also, demanding our attention all the time will weary us into avoiding you until we have the energy to deal with your needs- or we just dodge talking to you at all, should you prove to be constantly exhausting or toxic.

Conclusion

In summary, there are many reasons we may step away from you and come back later. Toxic and constantly-demanding individuals will find we avoid them. We need our zones to process life and plug ourselves in. Our peaceful, sacred places need to be there for us. Whether we disappear into our books, offices, or bedrooms is not important; what is important is that others understand why we do this and allow us the personal space to do so. We'd like to give you positive vibes, so remember this when you think you stumbled into someone's zone. Smile and let them be. They'll be appreciative of you. They may even let you into their zone in the future. 

 

Photo by Any Introvert

Comfort Media

 We watch the same movies and play the same games all the time, but why? We know the ending of our favorite media and consume it over and over despite the lack of surprise. Let's figure out why. 

Photo by Filmic

The definition of comfort media is media that you love to watch over and over. TV show, movie, video game, music.....it all goes into this category if you listen to it time and again - especially if you are upset and find it soothing (aka, using it as an escape). Nostalgia has prompted me to re-experience all my Nancy Drew games (a blog in progress that will come later, after I finish Midnight In Salem). Those games are comfort media to me, along with movies that include Scott Pilgrim vs The World and the Minions movie. I have a few more, of course, but it is a long list. You have to love it and find it amazing. 

Too Many Choices

Pull up Netflix, Youtube, or any streaming service and you will be overwhelmed by options of new content. They do gear it toward your preferences, yes, but decisions on what to chill to will generally sway to what you know is good. Stressed students will rewatch Friends or an anime because they don't want to think. I watched quite a lot of Friends and Parks and Rec between studying. When you have so much to decide from that it takes five minutes to scroll through, I'd say we might have too much of a choice. This means we find what we like and stick with it. It is just easier. 

Photo by Quickmeme

I will say this; media has gotten better at filtering into preferences. Youtube will feed you videos you should like, as well as any streaming site you subscribe to. Given that, we are less overwhelmed by choices nowadays but likely will only take two seconds to choose a show. The same concept still applies. If we want to fill the silence in our dorm room, office, or home we take two minutes at most to pick something. Unless we want something new, it is not likely we take much time to look all the way down the page. 

Tradition

Christmas tradition says that my family and I rewatch It's A Wonderful Life and A Christmas Story every year. This is one major reason that people love to consume the same media. Your traditions on Halloween, Christmas, Easter, or any holiday feed into your comfort media. Hot cocoa, a blanket, and some Christmas cookies make Jimmy Stewart and Bedford Falls real nostalgic. I'm sure you have your own traditional films for different occasions. This fits into comfort media. TV stations rerun the holiday classics all the time. 

A Sense of Order and Familiarity

When you know what is going to happen there is lower stress. You also feel a sense of control. Familiar anything helps us unwind. At the time in our lives when nothing makes sense, our favorite games and media allow us to escape into a world that does make sense. You know what is coming, when it comes, and what you have to do to finish the game. Your beloved characters don't change. It is a comforting thing to temporarily be in a universe where you know what is going on. It gives you an illusion of control. We like control and do what we can to keep it, such as watching comfort media.

Photo by Pinterest

On top of this, stressed students and working adults don't want to think after a long day of class/work. Familiar movies, music, and games take less effort to process. It is not stressful if you have seen it ten million times and use it for background noise (game playthroughs work like this for me). I have noticed that a silent workspace or apartment becomes unnerving after a bit. Many people will have some media playing just to fill the silence. Due to the concept I described before and the need for something to end the quiet oddness, they pick an old favorite and let it play. 

Memories are strong. Nostalgia and how you felt about something way back when influences what you choose to take in. I'm still not really into playing Curse of Blackmoor Manor after seeing the nightmare scene when I was ten. White Wolf of Icicle Creek, on the other hand, is my favorite game ever, as well as Waverly and Treasure in the Royal Tower. Long story short, nostalgia plays a major role in what is familiar to you, which feeds right into traditions. That also feeds into what you like in media. 

Disruptive Environment

Why this? Because people or kids who interrupt your TV show every so many minutes don't truly allow you to enjoy a new TV show or movie for the first time. In specific places, you may just put in something you know backward and forwards. When they interrupt (inevitably) you still know what is going on. This goes double if everyone is talking over your media. In fact, you may want to save your new videos to watch later and go somewhere else if this is that bad. 

Photo by esmeme

If you focus in on your media this is even worse. Grab headphones. Go find the most uninhabited corner of the house. In complete seriousness, you can even drive to a coffee shop (where no one bothers anyone). Should this be the reason you only watch the same things over again, I am so sorry. I hope you have your driver's license and a car, or at least a friend who can lend you their space. I feel for you. There is no shame in visiting your local coffee shops and libraries. Coffee and tea with a movie is good. Librarians love you and will help you find a new movie, should you desire one. 

Parents, you are truly trapped. I am not a parent, though I plan to be one years in the future. I know I will have less choice in what is on the TV or playing in the house. I don't have a solution for you at this time. I am so sorry. Other than staying up late and sending the kids to a relative for an evening, I'm pretty dang sure you can't just run to the library or coffee shop, not unless Grandma and Grandpa are over. If a solution comes to me I will devote a blog to it. 

Sources:

https://malu-rocha.medium.com/why-do-we-watch-the-same-films-and-tv-shows-over-and-over-again-fbecfc67f3f0

https://symptomsofliving.com/blog/why-do-we-rewatch-tv-shows/

Lesser-known Books

 

Fellow readers, I'd like to suggest several books that are not mainstream, are great, or both. These authors need more love and attention. Consider this a reading list of lesser-known or awesome books.

Photo by Literary Hub

Many authors in the world are not advertised like JK Rowling and James Patterson. The bigger the name, the more advertising you have, and the more money you make. Small authors need some love. I can suggest a few that I know are good. Are you ready to go buy more books? Need some ideas for the upcoming Christmas season? Let me help. 

Maggie Sullivan Mysteries

Photo By Amazon

You don't see much Marlowe-Esque hardboiled fiction anymore, especially if you want a female detective. Today you are in luck. Maggie Sullivan Mysteries are written by Ruth Myers, who won an award for these books. There are Nine of these mysteries and two short stories starring the tough woman Maggie Sullivan. She takes cases during the depression era and lives in Dayton, Ohio, where she has chosen a career most women have not. I highly suggest picking up the first one and seeing if you like it. I read the first one and got hooked, then impulsively bought every book of it on my Kobo app. 

You don't know the order of the books? Well, let me fix that. 

1. No Game For A Dame

2. Tough Cookie

3. Don't Dare A Dame

4. Shamus In A Skirt

5. Maximum Moxie

6. Dames Fight Harder

7. Uncivil Defense

8. Ration Of Lies

9. Victory Garter

Short Stories

1. The Barefoot Stiff

2. A Concrete Garter Belt

Inspector Lefebvre Series

Photo by Simon and Schuster

Gary Inbinder is a man who only wrote five books. He is a retired lawyer. Two are stand-alone novels. The last three are a series that focuses on the main character Inspector Lefebvre, a man who has a wife and daughter, lives in his mother-in-law's house, and solves three mysteries around the time after the White Chapel murders (Jack the Ripper). Inbinder pulls two characters from his first stand-alone novel The Flower to the Painter to start the series off. He also focuses on the art world quite a bit. You'll see what I mean if you open the first mystery or the stand-alone featuring the two re-used characters.

The order:

1. The Devil in Montmartre  2.The Hanged Man  3. The Man Upon the Stair

I loved his first mystery so much I impulse-bought (yes, I have a problem with buying books) all five of his books with my Christmas/Birthday money. He's worth it. 

Misc. Books that I'm told are good

I did some research and found some good series I've never heard of. The websites I have below include fantasy series that I've never seen in any physical bookstore I've encountered. It appears you'd be reading forever if I wrote detailed descriptions, so the link below is where you will find many beautiful books to read. Garrett PI  looks particularly intriguing to me. 

Good Fantasy Books

The young adult fiction genre can't be missed. This link I am including would, again, be too long to write out a description for all the books. I'll let you explore these yourselves. I will, however, highlight a few that I know are fantastic. 

YA Fiction

The two young adult fiction series that will never die for me are Maximum Ride (by James Patterson) and A Series of Unfortunate Events (by Lemony Snicket). I know that Patterson is a big name here, but I include it only because it is in the link above. Lemony Snicket, an odd duck if you've read anything he's written, is especially for those who are odd ducks themselves. I love his stuff. He even wrote a Christmas book about a piece of coal. Look into that man and see if you're into his stuff. There are 27 more series in the link above. 

Conclusion 

Photo by Tygertale - an illustration from The 
Lump of Coal by  Lemony Snicket

Some of these books are somewhat mainstream and some are complete unknowns. Every genre has an audience. Yes, I did include two books you know to be in most bookstores. I only did that because they were in the link I found and were proven good. If you want to pursue any new series please let me know what you think by commenting. If you found one to be so fantastic it blew your mind, definitely comment and I will look into reading it myself. Either way, give the authors here some love. Make this piece of coal you see smile. 

Famous Actors with PTSD

 If you were to rewatch any Jimmy Stewart movie you would find the "Hitchcock" look in a lot of them. You would also see what looks like a PTSD episode in several scenes of It's A Wonderful Life. Let's talk about that.

Photo by Talk Film Society

Audi Murphy and Jimmy Stewart both had PTSD. I'd like to honor those veterans by talking about their war experiences. In It's A Wonderful Life the film crew recognized that when Stewart's character broke down it wasn't acting. Look for the scene where George Bailey comes home and screams at the children, then clears a table in one swoop. He then snaps out of it and apologizes after looking at what he'd done. It looks convincingly like real fear in the actors' eyes. Watch the clip below from the time 6:42 to almost the end if you want to see the scene I am referring to. One Facebook post once claimed that was a PTSD episode, but I don't have positive (written) proof of it (and not for lack of searching). All I can say for sure is that it sure looks like one. Another scene to look for is when he is praying at Martini's and breaks down into sobbing. (Those were real tears.)

Audie Murphy never showed this type of emotion on film, as far as I know, but was a terror on the film set. He slept with a loaded gun beside him and David Niven (another actor who worked with him) says that he would wake up and let out a whole round into the air. He is highly decorated and survived battles that he technically shouldn't have. He came back looking a lot better than Jimmy Stewart in the face department, yet he paid a high cost for surviving his missions. 

Jimmy Stewart

I'm starting with Stewart. He was a pilot during World War II and was a commander. His fear was that he would make a mistake and cause someone else to die, which caused confirmed PTSD (flak happy, according to the time period). That is proven. He did, in fact, suffer from PTSD. Whether that was what motivated his performance in It's A Wonderful Life isn't totally proven, but makes complete and total sense. That was the first movie he filmed upon returning from WWII.  He looked like he had aged 10 to 20 years. It was said that he couldn't articulate how the war had changed him, but he could release the emotion of it during an acting performance. Given that, I understand why Hitchcock used him so often.

Photo by Montgomery Advertiser

His final mission was in February 1945. He was grounded for PTSD issues, then returned at the end of August. The only other movie offer he got was a movie about him, including his war service in the main storyline. He refused. He almost refused It's A Wonderful Life. He took it because it was the only offer he had at the time. During the filming he was still having nightmares, getting shaky, and sweating. He had just gotten to the point of holding food down again. Hearing loss had also developed since the war. Part of the reason for the edgy performance was that they were concerned the movie would bomb (it came out even, in the end), and part of Stewart's performance was rage because he battled whether he had an important role in Hollywood anymore. Again, PTSD was still present in him and it came out in those scenes where George Bailey was breaking. Still, I will not tell you that I have positive proof of this. He did in fact get mood swings, which would explain the real fear during the scene clip I included above. He did lash out in rage like that and then pause as if he lost himself for a minute, which leads me to believe that was a real PTSD mood swing captured on film. 

Stewart wrestled with guilt and rage in silence. It came out in the acting roles he chose to take. There was one instance where they bombed the wrong city by mistake and Stewart felt guilt for killing civilians. He once lost 13 planes and 130 men (his friends) died. Shenandoah and Winchester 73 were darker film roles that he wouldn't have been able to do before the war. He now had a dark side to him. Early in the war they used him for PR stunts until he demanded he see real action. He piloted a B-24 (the 445th) and was commander of the 703rd Squadron. The body count rose fast and he had gotten to know his men, so it got to him quick. Every dead man was one job he could have done better. He never talked about any of it until the end of his life. In 1976 her returned to military service in Tibenham, England where he was a squadron commander for four months. He was also a bomber pilot during the Vietnam war. He had nightmares for the rest of his life, if I understand my research correctly. Correct me if I'm wrong. 

'The nightmares come every night. There was on oxygen at 20,000 feet with 190s zipping past, spraying lead and firing rockets, flak bursting about the cockpit. B-24s hit, burning, spinning out of formation.

Bail out! Bail out! Do you see any chutes? How many chutes? Whose ship was it? Oh God, not him?

Not them! Bodies, pieces of bodies smacking off the windshield. And the most frequent dream, an explosion under him and the plane lifted by it and the feeling that this was the end.' 

At the end of his service he was awarded the Air Medal with oak leaf clusters, the Distinguished Flying Crosses, and the Croix de Guerre. He also was sent to a treatment center at some point (the flak farm), according to his men. After the war he sought out roles that let him release his emotion, which again explains choosing films like Vertigo and various other Hitchcock films. 

Audie Murphy

This guy was dangerous to be on set with. While his PTSD didn't show up on film screens, it did scare his coworkers. In comparison to Stewart he looked fabulous and attractive. His PTSD led him to have a loaded gun with him, so I'd imagine his mind wasn't as good-looking as his face. He never truly left the war behind, not mentally. He was one of the first to talk openly about his PTSD. He was considered a hero for his war service. He didn't like being publicized for having medals when he felt that the men who never made it home should have gotten them. He didn't want the attention he got and resisted being called a hero.

Murphy lied about his age to join the Marines but was too small to join. He ended up in the infantry. He was a highly skilled soldier and marksman. By WWII's end, he was the most decorated soldier and had earned 28 medals. Murphy says it made him grow up too fast. He dealt with depression, insomnia, and nightmares. He could only sleep with a loaded gun under his pillow. He became addicted to pills and realized it, so he locked himself into a motel room and went through the withdrawal for a week. He died at age 45 in a plane crash. He wanted a simple burial with no military involved and got a military honored burial, despite what his will said. His stone is plain and inconspicuous, like an ordinary soldier's grave. His birth year is incorrect because of falsified information when he enlisted.

He held off a German attack by himself and led a counterattack while wounded. He'd had his men hide while he did so and then led them out. Read these quotes from History Channel and you can see how bad it was. He'd held off Germans for an hour at the point of going back to his men in the woods.

After emptying his M-1 carbine at the enemy, Murphy grabbed his field telephone and took cover atop the burning tank destroyer. Over the radio, he could hear the artillery commander asking how close the Germans were to his position. “Just hold the phone and I’ll let you talk to one of the bastards!” he yelled back.

Dazed and bloodied, he jumped from the still-burning tank destroyer and limped to his men. He later wrote that as he walked away, one thought in particular kept racing through his mind: “How come I’m not dead?”

Photo by Jeremy Roberts

The truth was that he survived so many battles and injuries that he was forever scarred by his PTSD and the war itself. He had a massively successful Hollywood career. Despite that, he could never relax or feel the peace that the war was over. It never really ended in his brain. He spoke out saying the military should provide better medical care to veterans. During the war he survived at least three wounds, malaria, gangrene, and many dead friends.

Conclusion

These two men came home and couldn't shake the war. As a result, we have movies that have a dark edge to them and many westerns branded with Murphy's face. Murphy nor Stewart wanted to be glorified for their service. Stewart didn't get as much attention for his service as Murphy did due to how Stewart aged during the war. After looking into both these men I respect them even more. 

Well done, First Lieutenant Major Audie Murphy and Major General Jimmy Stewart!

Sources:

https://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/movies/ct-jimmy-stewart-book-mov-1202-20161201-column.html

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3825552/Jimmy-Stewart-suffered-extreme-PTSD-lost-130-men-fighter-pilot-WW-II-acted-anguish-filming-s-Wonderful-Life.html

https://www.cnn.com/2020/12/19/entertainment/its-a-wonderful-jimmy-stewart-world-war-ii-service/index.html

https://www.tpr.org/show/texas-matters/2017-08-23/texas-matters-audie-murphy-war-hero-movie-star-ptsd-sufferer

https://www.warhistoryonline.com/world-war-ii/audie-murphy-troubled-american-moh.html

https://jeremylr.medium.com/uncovering-resilient-american-soldier-audie-murphy-dd763ca0e5

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/22570/amazing-life-audie-murphy

https://www.history.com/news/audie-murphys-world-war-ii-heroics-70-years-ago?li_source=LI&li_medium=m2m-rcw-biography

The fashion that harmed humans the most

It is so rewarding to see a small waist, flat stomach, lower numbers on the scales, etc.......but what if trying to conform to the "beauty" trend of the current fashion is harming you? Today we look at what fashion trends hurt both genders the most. 

Photo by Global Founders London

Fashion trends promote different shapes of women every century or so. S-shaped, curvy, flat and boyish, or rail thin have all been trends that have come up in history. The 2010s promoted a big booty. My point? If fashion is going to change its mind every few years we need to stop obeying its rules. We need to stop buying into a harmful image of beauty, in some and many cases. 

Some of it is less harmful after the industry was regulated (like makeup, for instance). Makeup, perfumes, and hair products have now been held to a safety standard. That is because people lost hair, went blind, went insane, and severely damaged themselves with lead paint during the early years of using it. We have learned from our mistakes. Bras have since been invented and we no longer need to worry about corsets (but we will talk about them). 

Corsets and Body Shape

After some research on Corsets, I am glad I was not born into wearing one as a regular undergarment. I see some cosplayers wearing them for one day for the sake of one cosplay and not lacing them tightly in the middle. That is not what I am talking about. What I am speaking of is the constant or daily use of this early shaping device and wearing it too tightly. One day of wearing it is not years of shoving your body into a device that makes you unable to breathe. No, one day cosplaying won't kill you and you shouldn't lace it as tight as the women in the Victorian period. Good cosplayers know how to not suffocate themselves. Get one fit to your measurements, if you are going to use one.

Photo by Corset Deal

Daily use of corsets being worn too tightly displaced organs, broke ribs, caused all kinds of back problems, and created trouble giving birth. Women being seen as frail in some periods of time could possibly link back to the misuse of this daily device. They couldn't even sit in one individual case. The bra was a wonderful invention when it did come, and that was only two handkerchiefs sewn together with a ribbon. Strangely, history tells us men wore them, too, and I'd imagine men during Shakespeare's theatrics probably did themselves no favors. 

That being said, you can safely wear a corset, unlike those that took it to the extreme. It just isn't the only bra and shaping device you have anymore. It was meant to help women wear heavy dresses. You should still have room to breathe. Men had corsets marketed to them, too, for support and looks. We call them vests now and they aren't the same. It was only harmful if you overtighten them for an unhealthy waistline (which is no different than anorexia and bulimia, minus the fabric). For more information and history on this topic, click here for how it works. 

Dieting

Speaking of anorexia and bulimia, dieting is just as dangerous as an overtightened corset. It just doesn't involve fabric. Dieting has two reasons; one is self-image and the other is health. Diets can be safe if done correctly, but if you are attempting a "Twiggy" status (becoming a stick for a trend) I'd advise against it. Don't over-exercise or starve yourself, please. I do care about you (and I may not even know you in person). Strange things are prompted by a warped self-image. Get help if you need it. 

What doesn't help is that we see on media that we need to look like the latest trend. All the newest styles are shown off by celebrities and TV shows, as well as social media advertisements and fashion stores (which don't stock what isn't the fashion). Peer pressure is not the greatest, either, and when we all are being herded by media trends (not kidding) it happens. Influence is everywhere in media. Analyze your media sources and you'll prove it. 

Misc. Trends that ended in death and harm

There are many fashion trends that ended in death, other than diets and extreme corsetry. Glowing hair is one of them. This was achieved by putting radium into your hair with a comb for a few years. Your hair would then glow in the dark after that. Radioactive hair (or nails) is not a healthy trait to have. It killed some women. 

Photo by Nature

This you knew, but footbinding was bending a child's foot in half around the age of 5 and forcing someone to have trouble walking for the rest of their life. The Chinese are famous for this. Tiny feet were perfect in this culture and the trend ended around the 20th century. High heels are nothing compared to this harmful deformity. Can you die of it? Not unless you are unable to run from a fire or household disaster. But still, women couldn't go much farther than their own home with this badly deformed pair of feet.

Neck rings that shove down the shoulder don't extend the neck. Yet, the Kayan people consider it to be the height of beauty. Don't ask me why. They start them off young, too, so that's even worse. Deformed shoulders in the name of fashion are not okay. 

Fun fact, a stiff collar can suffocate you. Men dealt with this and one nearly cut his own head off falling down in the street. I thought I'd be talking about only women today, but I was wrong. Men had some toxic trends, too. Gender does not matter when it comes to toxic fashion.

If diets are bad now, try eating tapeworms to lose weight. I wish I were kidding. Say hello epilepsy and meningitis! This is banned in the United States. I don't think I need to say anything more on the subject.

Ever considered a lead facial for youthful paleness? Queen Elizabeth did. It was not good for your hair and caused baldness for women. The Victorian era was famous for bad fashion ideas and badly made makeup (which is safe now).

an example of nightshade eyes 
Photo by Death/Scent

Nightshade eye drops are dangerous for many reasons - one of them being that you were putting poison berries in your eyes. Another is that you can go blind after two uses of this. It made your eyes dilate and look innocent, allegedly. 

Shaving your legs becomes dangerous when you use lotion made of arsenic to remove hair. Arsenic is poison. Diabetes, cancer, and vascular disease are caused by arsenic. While it melted the hair away, it also took some of your health with it. 

Fire hazards are more common in fashion than you think. Crinolines caused death by fire if you walked too close to a hot surface or fireplace, where you then burst into flames and could die. Some hair decoration could go up in flames in seconds. Fancy ball gowns and fireplaces are not a woman's friend.

Because people loved hats, let's talk about how they were made early on. Mercury was used by hat makers, like the Mad Hatter, and exposure to that substance drives you insane. It explains the eccentric hat makers that came about. Mercury is toxic. The hatters worked in poorly vented rooms. It can kill you or shorten your lifespan. Click here for more details.

Conclusions

I know a lot of fashion trends are dangerous and I want to make sure you understand the psychological motives behind following them. If I put on a corset and looked in the mirror I would be rewarded with a waist that makes me look fantastic. I'd feel beautiful. If I did that one day and had it sized to me that does no harm, but if it is the trend and I engage in extreme corsetry every day of my life I am crossing a line. There is no harm in boosting appearances. There is, however, a fine line that should not be stepped over; that line is when your fashion choices are impacting your health and quality of life. No fashion trend is worth your life. 

If you feel you have to look perfect every day of your life you were told wrong. Don't buy into that. At the end of the day and at the end of my life I am not going to reflect on how perfectly I dressed and did my makeup (and I barely wear it). Impulsively having to look perfect daily is a self-esteem issue and should be faced with help and support. 

Sources:

https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20150624-when-fashion-kills

https://www.airyhair.com/blog/5-dangerous-deadliest-fashion-trends-history/amp/

https://gloriousdays.co/is-fashion-responsible-for-body-image-issues/

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190311-how-social-media-affects-body-image

https://nyamcenterforhistory.org/2015/05/29/did-corsets-harm-womens-health/

https://www.orchardcorset.com/pages/corsets-cosplay

https://nerdsonearth.com/2016/02/cosplay-accessories/

https://www.orchardcorset.com/pages/corsets-101#:~:text=Is%20waist%20training%20or%20wearing,waist%20training%20is%20perfectly%20safe.

https://corset-story.co.uk/blogs/news/is-wearing-a-corset-bad-for-you

My Nancy Drew Gaming Strategy

 I don't think I'm surprising anyone by saying I'm part of the Nancy Drew gaming community. Those that know me personally know my love of Nancy Drew continued from when I was ten until present day. I have a strategy for any Nancy Drew games I play. Today I'm going to let you in on that. 

Photo by The Senior Detective Blog

The Herinteractive Nancy Drew games are point-and-click mysteries for the PC, with the exception of maybe a Hardy Boys DS game and few other forms that didn't work out as well. There are a few that are discontinued, in case you were curious, but otherwise, most of them are available on the Herinteractive website, Big Fish Games, and Steam. You can find the discontinued ones on E-bay or Amazon for varied prices. 

The idea of this game series is that you are Nancy Drew and must solve the mystery. She travels everywhere and anywhere asking questions and solving puzzles. Most games have a balance of plot and puzzles. Some are puzzle or question heavy. I've learned that everyone has different priorities when it comes to which ones they love, aren't into, or hate. Try them all (if you can get your hands on the ones that are discontinued, give them a chance, too) and make your own judgments. If you can play it and have fun, I consider it a good game.

Senior mode and Junior mode are barely different in some games and drastically different in others. It depends on the game itself. The older ones tend to be at the same challenge level and just lack hints. Senior has no checklist or a vague checklist in games. Try to finish it quickly at this level or keep a manual task list. Always keep a task list on paper while playing the first and oldest games.

First Steps

Imagine you are playing a new game or a game you haven't played in forever. Given this assumption, my first step is to explore everything and avoid the conversations the game does not force you into. Look and click on everything the game lets you. Pick up what you are allowed to grab. This saves you a lot of time and energy later when you need an object for a puzzle. Seeing certain files or images triggers conversations later on. Clicking one object or seeing a poster may open up a triggered event that progresses the game. Stopping to read the information you need later and taking notes on it is a great idea. Not sure you need it? Take notes anyway.

Photo by Red Around the World

Speaking of taking notes, let me enlighten you on how some games work - mostly the oldest ones. Phone numbers and other details are added to Nancy's journal or phone automatically on newer games, but not the oldest ones. Write down everything and make sure you have the numbers and info you need to finish puzzles. The less you have to come back to places, the more you solve in a quicker time. It is wise to write it down (especially phone numbers!) and then check the journal to see if it was put in. Checklists are the same concept. Senior level lacks a checklist entirely in newer games, but still includes the journal entries (thankfully). 

Once you get to the point of finding puzzles and you haven't spoken to those who didn't flag you down, go solve what you can. People give you tasks. Get what you can reasonably solve finished before you get any more. If the game does not let you solve it you may have to do something else to make Nancy touch it. From here we can go into conversations after you can't do anything else.

The Characters

Here we are, all ready to talk to people who give Nancy tasks in order for her to get something in return. Chore-heavy games are loved by some people and hated by others. Conversations can be entertaining and open doors to puzzles. Not all conversation is necessary, however, so you can avoid some chit-chat if you so desire to. This depends entirely on the game itself. All of them have certain conversations that need to happen or you can't continue. 

Photo by Gamerzone

Secrets can kill is an extreme case of this due to the way it was programmed. One conversation option can stall you into starting the game over entirely. This is the only game to do this. You lose options as the conversation continues, too, so be careful on this game in particular. The others are not nearly as finicky as this. You are at the end of the game, too, when you can stall out; this is straight-up awful if you have to restart it all. Keep save files often. It is a good game, yes, but you need to be aware of this from the start.

Anyway, conversations trigger events, which trigger more conversation, which leads you into the plot and some new locations. When stuck on what to do you should talk to everyone (older games are built like this). Phone calls are sometimes important and other times optional. Ned or Bess and George will call you in some games if you don't call them. There are times where you can use them for hints on junior mode. In Alibi In Ashes you need to call them and play as them to finish the game itself. Necessary or not depends on the game, in the general sense. I find Nancy's friends to be fun conversations and they make me laugh.

Puzzles and Mini Games

Mini games are what I love in a Nancy Drew game. Others may not agree, but we are all allowed to have our opinions on what makes games beloved. Often you can play them after you are required to (and if they are in the game, you probably have to at some point). You can make money off these for souvenirs or needed objects to solve puzzles. I have save files labeled "mini games" so I don't have to play the whole game to play the mini games. It's brilliant! Also, the dossiers that are arcade style have a mini game arcade and you can play just mini games, which is so beautiful to me.

Photo by Gamepressure

The main puzzles are a joy or a pain, which depends upon the puzzle itself. If you are playing a harder or puzzle-heavy game you might find that one puzzle is insanely hard for you and others are shockingly easy. Or it may all be so hard and you want to quit. My advice is to step back and relax. Do something else until you can logically process what you need to solve it. If you give up, Game Boomers are a great help with their walkthroughs. I wouldn't have solved all the games without it. Do try to do it yourself, first, if you can.

I have a strategy for doing the puzzles. I pick one location and do everything I can, then move to another location and do everything......and so on. I do this until I can solve every puzzle and have the means to do them all. Puzzles pop up later, as usual, but it is less overwhelming to do things this way. The newer games tend to overwhelm me with puzzles and I found this to be the solution. 

Awards and Eggs

These games have phone charms to find, Easter eggs to find by doing absurd things, and awards to unlock and win. I suggest doing the game without the goal of this added incentive first, then looking up a walkthrough that tells you how to get these extra objects and awards. People found these by literally clicking everything a lot and playing around with the game. Go stand on their shoulders and go easy on yourself. The eggs sometimes help you skip puzzles and finish tasks. Other times they are just fun to acquire. 

Why You Should Try Every Game Before You Go By Reviews

Everyone who plays these has a different favorite game, literally everyone. Some hate MID, others like it, and others are right in between (for example). I have come back to games I disliked as a kid and I like them more as an adult. My point is simple; try it before you decide it isn't good because not everyone has your standard of what's fun. 

There are three aspects to a mystery game, which are storyline, puzzles, and interrogation. Some of these games have more puzzles than interrogation or vice versa. Some have a weak storyline and others have a strong storyline. Graphics are sometimes not good and other times beautiful. You like what you like and that is okay. You can disagree with rankings all day long and be fine. In this way, you decide what you enjoy, not the ranking videos and articles. Give them all an equal chance and see what ranking you create. This is your downtime and you can do what you want with it. 

Student Stress Management

 Consider this your how-to manual on College stress. This unique time in life needs some sort of manual, so here is your how-to on how to survive college stresses. 

Photo by Meme

Rule of thumb, try to stay organized and don't over-socialize yourself (especially as an introvert). If you are single don't focus on finding a relationship. In short, balance your social, dating, and classwork time into something manageable. Can you always maintain that? Heck to the no, but trying to helps. 

Dorms and Off-Campus Roommates

You'd think this would go under people, but no, it is its own category. You see, roommates and other people are two different things. Living with someone and going to class with someone do not function the same way. You get to see all the quirks of your roommate in close quarters. Be prepared for some conflict. If their dating relationships get complicated you will have a front-row seat and vice-versa if yours become complicated. They feel that direct impact.

Photo by Pinterest

If you don't know them well, make a contract. I know this sounds formal - stick with me here - but, whenever you have a conflict you will need it. Keep communication open and honest. Make sure that you solve the conflicts and disputes that come up between you quickly. Work it out. If you can't, I would suggest changing roommates and finding someone a bit easier to get on with. Make sure you talk about things and give them grace. Make sure you work out your kinks, as well as expecting them to do the same. 

Having multiple roommates becomes a bit crazy. You have many different personalities in the same place. A word on boyfriends; they muck things up a bit. The same can happen with girlfriends, but still, women and dating get kind of dramatic (and not in a theatrical way). Be honest with each other. Be careful whom you choose to live with. You have to talk to them every day of the semester and deal with their quirks all the time. I have a good relationship with my last college roommate and lived with her for two years minus Summers. We had some conflicts, yes, but we worked it out. 

People are not perfect. Personalities clash. We all know that small spaces like dorms don't often have entertaining space built-in (and if they do, you paid more for it). My dorm rooms were two desks, two beds, and a shared suite bathroom (or a community bathroom). Off-campus housing is different because of the room to entertain friends without seeing your bedrooms as living rooms. If you don't have the tidiest bedroom you are exposed to all your roommate's friends for it in a dorm. Introverts, you need to have a space to be by yourself somewhere on campus. Dorms and even shared rental housing are not private enough. Whether it be your car, the library, or a corner of campus seldom walked on you need a space for your introversion. Extroverts will not have this problem and want just the opposite.

Homework

I found a method that worked for me. Allow me to share my method. You take every syllabus you get and tape it to the wall, highlighting what is due next and crossing it off as you finish it. Pick one day where you have nothing planned and do as much homework as possible (mine was Saturday). Put it in order of closest to the farthest due date. Make it a priority to get the next day's done and then look at how much time and brainpower you have left. Any energy left? Go for the day after that. Try to finish at least two days of homework for maximum chill time for the next two days. 

Photo by YourTango

As for pulling an all-nighter, well, try not to. Sleep is vital to your energy and intelligence. You have to sleep. What I used to do was (combined with the above situation) set a time of night where I stopped whatever I was working on no matter what it was. I would try to finish it in the commuter lounge (if possible), but I did not make myself stay up late at night unless it was a large project due at a morning class. 

Planners are helpful here because you need to balance your social time and homework time. Write it down. Stress makes you forget things. Do you think you'll remember? You won't. Trust me on this. I missed important things and overbooked myself not using a planner. Use it! You will need and want it. Heed this warning or be late/miss important events.

People

College and socializing is a unique time. This is somewhere between high school and full adulthood for most students (traditional-aged). I'd say you should take full advantage of the situation. As an adult, I do not have much time for theatre due to working my second part-time job, yet I lived and breathed theatre as a Malone student. If I wasn't in the dorm I was at a show working the ticket booth or rehearsing. I loved it. Don't let the opportunities pass by for campus life. You don't get the freedom of this time again. 

Photo by Quickmeme

That being said, find people who are mature and try to grow up yourself. College should attract mature humans that have something better to do than gossip, and yet, I had as much issue with gossip as high school. Dating did have something to do with this, yes, but not all of it. Find your tribe and you will be better off. Most of them were in the theatre in my case. As college rolls on the people who haven't grown up will stick out like neon highlighters and sometimes end up more alone than others. Someone alone is not the neon sign by itself; the neon sign you are looking for is when others avoid them or the group around them is filled with negativity and drama. These people group together (minus some people who got stuck in their mess). The ones that grow up split off into other groups and move on. 

I have made friends for life by living on and off-campus. I have found the people I need to avoid by doing the same. You live, learn, and move on into maturity. Give others grace. Give yourself grace. I do, however, caution you to not stick around toxic groups. If you do stay there you'll be poisoned by the atmosphere. If your life is full of drama test whether it is you, your friends, your relationship, or an outside force of some kind. If it is your relationship or friends that are toxic, run and go find some new friends. Should it be you, correct yourself. You are responsible for your choices. 

Self-Care

What? Self-care? You heard me. Go take care of your body and pick a chill day to relax. It makes all the difference in the world to go out with friends for appetizers or stay in with a cozy book. Take a breather from your work and loosen up for at least a short while. Movie nights, a chill day of doing nothing, reading for a bit, and going on some fun days with your tribe are all good ideas for letting go of your stress. 

Bathe, shower, sleep, eat, drink water, make time for prayer and your Bible......etc. If you don't care for yourself and your faith (in my case) you'll start to lose it mentally. This means that if you can't handle anything at all socially you can stay in and not accept the offer to go out for dinner. Truly, don't feel bad about this. If you have to go disappear for a short time you are able to do so. This is easier to do when you are rooming alone and single. 

There are times when you need a counselor to talk to. There are times when you need to talk out everything with a friend and just have them be a sounding board (choose carefully). Do it. Go journal and let all that out. Need to release emotion? Do it. Mental health is connected to every part of your body and matters greatly. Take care of the mind God gave you. Without your sanity, you can't function.

Conclusion

Stress is rampant on college campuses. Please, take care of your bodily needs and mental needs. Take the time to relax after your classes. Put yourself in balance. Remember, the world will not end if your paper isn't perfect or you are too tired to finish something the night before. You are still accomplishing something great. If you have to try a class again, do it. You can do this and I believe in you all! When finals week comes you will crush it and rock those final papers! 

Photo by YourTango

When I was a student I had lots of trouble keeping my sanity. There are outside factors that I will not talk about in a public blog post. If you know me personally you might know about some of them. What you may not know is that I had a blue period and had to deal with my muddled emotions after years of ignoring them (around the beginning of sophomore year, I think). I told almost no one about my struggles for that short time. God got me through all of that blue period and led me out into a healthy perspective on dating and life. Please talk to someone if you are struggling with the aftershocks of a bad relationship or dealing with any sort of mental issues. Don't go it alone. You don't have to have it all together. No one has it all together and everyone is winging it.