Introvert zones and what you need to know

 Introverts are like phones; we need to be left alone for a bit to recharge. Our time by ourselves is for your safety. How well we function depends entirely on how charged up we have been. In other words, we have introvert zones and should be allowed to sit in them, much like how you set a phone on the counter and do something else. 

Photo by Elle Australia

An introvert zone is a place or general area where an introvert goes to recharge alone. Sometimes other people are let into it and other times they invade without permission. Quite a few people are oblivious to the introvert zone. Perceptive people step into it and step back out if you seem annoyed. Today I'm going to give you the basic rundown of why this is important. 

Why We Need It

Introverted people need a break from socializing and the noise of the outside world a bit more often than extroverts. Extroverts need it too, yes, but not nearly as much. We only have so many safe places that are sacred, such as our office, our apartment, our car, and inside a good book. If we can't function at normal levels due to constant interruption it is not good for us or extrovert-kind. I'd like to love the people around me with all of Jesus' love. When I am socially exhausted I can barely be nice. For the sake of introverts everywhere, I will kindly explain the concept to those who are not overly aware of it. 

When You Are Allowed In

This is an honor. You see, it means we love you or like you enough to keep you around while we recharge. Our closest friends can sit with us while we are plugged into our zones. This is provided that you don't cost us energy. We have to be close for this to happen or be fellow introverts. The exceptions to the rule have to do with friendship and dating. I can sit beside my husband and recharge, but maybe not all my coworkers and friends. Our friends give us energy at different levels, so some friends may not be let into my recharge zones and some friends might be. You are still my friend, regardless of if you can plug in with me.

When You Are Invading

Some people are oblivious to their invasion of our introvert zones. It is highly annoying when they are, whether we love them or not. It is jarring to have your peaceful, quiet place taken from you in one instant, then be unable to lose the person who did it. It is either that or they do it for short times and extremely often. Introverts reading this can probably name names at this point in the paragraph. Most of the time the culprits are blind to our zones. 

Do you think you've invaded our zones at one point or another? Let me give you some signs that you have. Some of us can mask our annoyance, while others can be straight-up rude, but look for these signs anyway. People who lack social cues may not see these signs so easily. 

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Annoyance is the first sign that they want you to leave. It can be anything from a quickly-masked flash of emotion to body language that says "I was busy". We might act busy. If introverts are not happy to see you, but otherwise you have no quarrel at all, you might have stepped into their alone time and cost them energy. Much like a phone, it can't charge if you use it. This can be subtle and be conveyed via tone, body language that isn't open or toward you, and choice of words. 

Depending on the person, they may be less conversational and shut down any attempts. One word and curt answers may be normal in some people. I will note that specific humans are not generally high on word count. I am talking about those that converse with others often while socializing. Should you step into their personal space and try to talk to them, they might shut it down or let it die quickly. They may even tell you they are busy. I tend to be polite, so it usually looks like me nodding and giving one-word answers (making it a one-sided conversation). My eyes have been known to glaze over at points. This doesn't phase some individuals, for whatever reason, so I let them exhaust their words (if there is no escape).

Work environments allow you to send someone on an errand occasionally. Trying to get the person to leave via sending them on a task is one way we try to gain our peaceful zone back. If another human you are trying to interact with is diverting you to somewhere else (work or home) they may need a moment. Workspaces are sometimes our zones. I know that I like prepping and cleaning the kitchen at my evening job alone. I have let others do errands for me to get them out of my zone (I'll note that they offered to help every time). 

Photo by Meme Generator

Leaving the room is an option we sometimes use because we don't need to kill anyone that day. You can see from Loki's expression here that he wants to because they interrupted his zone. I'm joking about the killing, but I'm somewhat not joking. "Killing" is defined here in this paragraph as "crushing someone's soul with words or actions". Being so overwhelmed that you need a moment to yourself to keep it together is one reason we recharge. People who drop in on us at the wrong time may receive a death glare or sharp words, none of which are what Jesus wants us to do. If we can leave we do. It is for the sake of your feelings that we spare you our true thoughts. Introversion is not a reason to be mean to other humans. 

There are, however, people who will be rude about your invasion. They might crush your soul a bit. I'm so sorry. Not everyone is polite, nor is everyone rude, but sometimes we all let words loose. Being at the end of your sanity rope, being socially exhausted, and being stressed can lead right into an outburst when one invades our zones. There will be humans that don't hold back their fire, as well as those who tried and failed. Nobody is perfect. 

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Reading is an activity usually done solo unless you are teaching or have kids. Please do not waltz over to someone deeply absorbed in a book and ask "What you readin'?". Nothing annoys me more. A book is a zone. I am happy to converse with you about books - just not while I have one open in my hands! Closed book? Sure, say hello. Open book? Stop and walk away. I promise, I love you all, but unless you have something important to say to me leave me in peace. I am within the world of the book I am reading. Important words should be said, but make it quick. Leave out the interruptive small talk. 

Reasons You Are Considered Invasive

You cost energy and don't give enough of it back if we don't want you in our sacred spaces. Those we let in are not costing us our social energy. They are either neutral (equal cost and energy giving) or give us more energy. This doesn't mean we dislike you. We'll go give you quality time after we've been plugged in long enough. You get a better version of us when you let us retreat and come back. 

Photo by 99memes

Why do you cost social energy? I sometimes don't know. It may depend on the day. Introverts get overstimulated by life, thus we need quieter zones for the sake of sanity. Chaos is our worst enemy. You may be too loud at times. Heck, you may just mean too much small talk in one conversation. One reason the people who invade my space rub me the wrong way is that they fill the comfortable silence and/or interrupt my workflow (as I work best alone). I don't hate them; I'd like to make that clear. They just irk me when they step in unaware that I don't want conversation or don't need anything. Also, demanding our attention all the time will weary us into avoiding you until we have the energy to deal with your needs- or we just dodge talking to you at all, should you prove to be constantly exhausting or toxic.

Conclusion

In summary, there are many reasons we may step away from you and come back later. Toxic and constantly-demanding individuals will find we avoid them. We need our zones to process life and plug ourselves in. Our peaceful, sacred places need to be there for us. Whether we disappear into our books, offices, or bedrooms is not important; what is important is that others understand why we do this and allow us the personal space to do so. We'd like to give you positive vibes, so remember this when you think you stumbled into someone's zone. Smile and let them be. They'll be appreciative of you. They may even let you into their zone in the future. 

 

Photo by Any Introvert