Student Stress Management

 Consider this your how-to manual on College stress. This unique time in life needs some sort of manual, so here is your how-to on how to survive college stresses. 

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Rule of thumb, try to stay organized and don't over-socialize yourself (especially as an introvert). If you are single don't focus on finding a relationship. In short, balance your social, dating, and classwork time into something manageable. Can you always maintain that? Heck to the no, but trying to helps. 

Dorms and Off-Campus Roommates

You'd think this would go under people, but no, it is its own category. You see, roommates and other people are two different things. Living with someone and going to class with someone do not function the same way. You get to see all the quirks of your roommate in close quarters. Be prepared for some conflict. If their dating relationships get complicated you will have a front-row seat and vice-versa if yours become complicated. They feel that direct impact.

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If you don't know them well, make a contract. I know this sounds formal - stick with me here - but, whenever you have a conflict you will need it. Keep communication open and honest. Make sure that you solve the conflicts and disputes that come up between you quickly. Work it out. If you can't, I would suggest changing roommates and finding someone a bit easier to get on with. Make sure you talk about things and give them grace. Make sure you work out your kinks, as well as expecting them to do the same. 

Having multiple roommates becomes a bit crazy. You have many different personalities in the same place. A word on boyfriends; they muck things up a bit. The same can happen with girlfriends, but still, women and dating get kind of dramatic (and not in a theatrical way). Be honest with each other. Be careful whom you choose to live with. You have to talk to them every day of the semester and deal with their quirks all the time. I have a good relationship with my last college roommate and lived with her for two years minus Summers. We had some conflicts, yes, but we worked it out. 

People are not perfect. Personalities clash. We all know that small spaces like dorms don't often have entertaining space built-in (and if they do, you paid more for it). My dorm rooms were two desks, two beds, and a shared suite bathroom (or a community bathroom). Off-campus housing is different because of the room to entertain friends without seeing your bedrooms as living rooms. If you don't have the tidiest bedroom you are exposed to all your roommate's friends for it in a dorm. Introverts, you need to have a space to be by yourself somewhere on campus. Dorms and even shared rental housing are not private enough. Whether it be your car, the library, or a corner of campus seldom walked on you need a space for your introversion. Extroverts will not have this problem and want just the opposite.

Homework

I found a method that worked for me. Allow me to share my method. You take every syllabus you get and tape it to the wall, highlighting what is due next and crossing it off as you finish it. Pick one day where you have nothing planned and do as much homework as possible (mine was Saturday). Put it in order of closest to the farthest due date. Make it a priority to get the next day's done and then look at how much time and brainpower you have left. Any energy left? Go for the day after that. Try to finish at least two days of homework for maximum chill time for the next two days. 

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As for pulling an all-nighter, well, try not to. Sleep is vital to your energy and intelligence. You have to sleep. What I used to do was (combined with the above situation) set a time of night where I stopped whatever I was working on no matter what it was. I would try to finish it in the commuter lounge (if possible), but I did not make myself stay up late at night unless it was a large project due at a morning class. 

Planners are helpful here because you need to balance your social time and homework time. Write it down. Stress makes you forget things. Do you think you'll remember? You won't. Trust me on this. I missed important things and overbooked myself not using a planner. Use it! You will need and want it. Heed this warning or be late/miss important events.

People

College and socializing is a unique time. This is somewhere between high school and full adulthood for most students (traditional-aged). I'd say you should take full advantage of the situation. As an adult, I do not have much time for theatre due to working my second part-time job, yet I lived and breathed theatre as a Malone student. If I wasn't in the dorm I was at a show working the ticket booth or rehearsing. I loved it. Don't let the opportunities pass by for campus life. You don't get the freedom of this time again. 

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That being said, find people who are mature and try to grow up yourself. College should attract mature humans that have something better to do than gossip, and yet, I had as much issue with gossip as high school. Dating did have something to do with this, yes, but not all of it. Find your tribe and you will be better off. Most of them were in the theatre in my case. As college rolls on the people who haven't grown up will stick out like neon highlighters and sometimes end up more alone than others. Someone alone is not the neon sign by itself; the neon sign you are looking for is when others avoid them or the group around them is filled with negativity and drama. These people group together (minus some people who got stuck in their mess). The ones that grow up split off into other groups and move on. 

I have made friends for life by living on and off-campus. I have found the people I need to avoid by doing the same. You live, learn, and move on into maturity. Give others grace. Give yourself grace. I do, however, caution you to not stick around toxic groups. If you do stay there you'll be poisoned by the atmosphere. If your life is full of drama test whether it is you, your friends, your relationship, or an outside force of some kind. If it is your relationship or friends that are toxic, run and go find some new friends. Should it be you, correct yourself. You are responsible for your choices. 

Self-Care

What? Self-care? You heard me. Go take care of your body and pick a chill day to relax. It makes all the difference in the world to go out with friends for appetizers or stay in with a cozy book. Take a breather from your work and loosen up for at least a short while. Movie nights, a chill day of doing nothing, reading for a bit, and going on some fun days with your tribe are all good ideas for letting go of your stress. 

Bathe, shower, sleep, eat, drink water, make time for prayer and your Bible......etc. If you don't care for yourself and your faith (in my case) you'll start to lose it mentally. This means that if you can't handle anything at all socially you can stay in and not accept the offer to go out for dinner. Truly, don't feel bad about this. If you have to go disappear for a short time you are able to do so. This is easier to do when you are rooming alone and single. 

There are times when you need a counselor to talk to. There are times when you need to talk out everything with a friend and just have them be a sounding board (choose carefully). Do it. Go journal and let all that out. Need to release emotion? Do it. Mental health is connected to every part of your body and matters greatly. Take care of the mind God gave you. Without your sanity, you can't function.

Conclusion

Stress is rampant on college campuses. Please, take care of your bodily needs and mental needs. Take the time to relax after your classes. Put yourself in balance. Remember, the world will not end if your paper isn't perfect or you are too tired to finish something the night before. You are still accomplishing something great. If you have to try a class again, do it. You can do this and I believe in you all! When finals week comes you will crush it and rock those final papers! 

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When I was a student I had lots of trouble keeping my sanity. There are outside factors that I will not talk about in a public blog post. If you know me personally you might know about some of them. What you may not know is that I had a blue period and had to deal with my muddled emotions after years of ignoring them (around the beginning of sophomore year, I think). I told almost no one about my struggles for that short time. God got me through all of that blue period and led me out into a healthy perspective on dating and life. Please talk to someone if you are struggling with the aftershocks of a bad relationship or dealing with any sort of mental issues. Don't go it alone. You don't have to have it all together. No one has it all together and everyone is winging it.