Dangerous or harmless?

 While women seem to encounter uncomfortable situations more often than men, women can be dangerous, too. Today we're talking about the ones that make you uncomfortable, but you aren't sure if they are misunderstood or dangerous. 

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So, I hate to tell you the world is a dangerous place, but here we are. The people who make you uncomfortable go into two categories; either they didn't mean to and are harmless, or they aren't harmless. Let's look at key differences based on the research I did. 

Strangers or acquaintances can be dangerous. Stanger danger is not the biggest problem. Sometimes others can hurt you as they get closer to you. This is not exclusively about strangers on the street. I'm going to warn you of things you shouldn't be doing and tell you straight up that your gut is worth listening to. 

What To Be Aware Of

Ted Bundy used to ask for assistance getting to his car and then force the woman helping him into the car. Don't help the people who give off dark vibes. Don't be a victim of someone taking a page from Ted Bundy's playbook. If they look capable of doing it alone and are not your trusted friend and neighbor be wary. Additionally, don't lend them your cell phone if you don't know them. Direct them to the nearest store or help desk within the store (or just get out). 

Forced "let me help you" behavior is not good, either. "I insist" is not a loving helpful soul; a loving helpful soul will understand when you don't want help. Keep your hands on your groceries and don't let them take them. Predators will try to take your stuff. 

Another ploy to get personal info may come in the form of TMI (too much information), which then could lead to you spilling more info than you intended. When getting to know people be wary of what you share and to whom. You don't have to reciprocate. 

Manners are for those that respect you. Read it again. If your gut says run, don't worry about politeness. Slam that door and go. Serial killers have literally gotten through front doors with sales presentations because of this situation. Don't be letting that happen. Tell your kids that manners are not for the ones who are dangerous. 

Stalking

I did a blog on the legal definition of stalking before. As a writer, I do observe the people around me. I am open about this. I don't follow them home. I friend them on their social media and make friends with them in person. I like to figure out MBTI personality types. If they don't like that I leave them alone. Stalking is not people-watching. Most writers are not following people around. Click this link to read about legal stalking and this link to read about character inspiration risks. You'll get clearer context from such blogs. 

Courtesy of Blogspot.com

Irresponsible people watchers may stumble into this if they go too far. All the same, intent makes a big difference. I do outline this in the linked blogs above. Irresponsible people watchers and bad private detectives could get arrested for stalking. 

Now, we talk about the signs you are being stalked. Getting the willies because this one person shows up more and more often? That's one right there. Most of us know our stalkers. Heaven knows we've all been misunderstood and stupid, but the people purposely doing this are a different situation. 

Did you ever get the feeling you were being watched? Like bugs bunny, I have been. You can feel the eyes on you. They follow you as you walk down the hall past the clear windows. They peer in windows at you. They linger in hallways. It sucks. I don't wish to be crude, but I'm saying it like it is. I've had at least two in my lifetime. 

Repeated social contact is another sign. Messages, phone calls, or any verbal messages left for you or on paper are red flags when you aren't seeing them socially. An example would be a past ex of mine calling and leaving long messages after we broke up. Yes, people get upset, but if they don't leave you alone at all and it's been months... run!

Did you order flowers? No? Then why did someone you met at the gym two weeks ago send them? This is a fictional example, of course, but I do think it is valid. It could happen. Unwanted gifts include random flowers and other assorted gifts that you didn't encourage someone to give you. Basically, beware of strange gifts - especially if you get a call asking if you received the chocolates on your porch (fictional, but valid example). 

Oddly enough, you can be "rescued" by a stalker who created the need for the rescue. Did they drain your gas tank and come by to give you a lift? Is your tire suddenly flat and they have an extra? Don't let them help you. Call a trusted friend and family member instead. Call AAA (triple A - a car care service). Maybe they are more subtle, though, like offering their umbrella or a granola bar when you forgot your lunch. 

Manipulating you into contact is not good. A threat to hurt themselves or others is a way they do this. Also, legal battles are a way to get in contact with you. There are many ways they can manipulate you into social interaction. 

Cyberstalking is a hard thing to prove legally. In a world where everyone you know has snooped a profile of an ex or attractive person, what is stalking? This is a category all its own that ties right into unwanted contact. It just has to do with internet contact, that's all. Hit that block button if you need to. It works miracles. Do understand, though, that some people may just like posts because they are fun posts. If you notice someone liked your posts a lot you can ask why. 

Are they trying to isolate you? Run! Damaging your reputation to pick you off easier is never okay. It never will be okay, either. Maintain that social circle. Keep your friends updated about your concerns. Make allies to keep you safe. 

Worst case scenario, violence happens and threats are made. Did they hurt you or your car? Did they hurt your friends and family? Call the police. Tell them everything with documented evidence of someone stalking you. Document it all. Erase nothing from your phone or social media. This is beyond "I can handle it". Get help from the police now. 

Lastly, too much unwanted attention is a real red flag. This ties into a neat bow along with another red flag, which is someone showing up more often than you think is normal. Maybe they looked harmless. Maybe all they did was annoy you. Maybe all they did was stand there and stare at you. Still, it isn't good if you look at the big picture and get alarmed. 

 Dangerous

This is a struggle. Danger doesn't come with a standard face. I've dated people who are very attractive and gotten hurt. I've also found people with less-than-great social cue awareness that appear harmful, but turn out to be harmless and not so perceptive. I can even admit that everyone (myself included) has been toxic to someone else at some point in their lives. Perfection isn't possible unless your name is Jesus Christ. We are not black or white and good or bad; we are grey, a mix of both. It just depends on what path we decide to follow. 

Anyone getting into your head and using weaknesses against you, in other terms emotionally abusive, is dangerous. Emotional abuse is never okay. Others may see it before you do. Listen to them. I've been there. I blocked it out and reasoned it out as okay when I was in that dark place. Gain distance if you see others continuing to point out you're in danger. Step back and assess before it gets any worse. Get out of the situation as soon as you can. Heal from it with the help of others. 

What complicates things is....drum roll.....social media! I once liked a whole bunch of posts because they were fun posts. I didn't know they'd show up on that person's notifications. I was in my early high school years. It didn't get a positive reaction. I have since deleted that account. I was embarrassed by my younger self (for more than just that reason) and restarted entirely. I actually think that we need to teach a class on social media dos and don'ts for everyone who is at an age to use it. Why is this important? Words can get misinterpreted real quick. Misuse of social media can be misunderstood. My best advice is to talk to the person directly and see what their intentions actually are. Maybe you had a long string of fun posts, maybe your words meant something else, and maybe the intent behind the actions wasn't dangerous. On the other hand, I can see that someone could easily use social media with dark intent. It is scary how much you can learn about habits and places someone goes via the media accounts they post on. It is scary to see someone pretend to be someone else. Be careful what you post and answering DMs. It speaks of where you go, what you like, who you hang out with, what you do daily, and so much more. Be wary that strangers and dangerous individuals can glean info from your profiles and posts. Learn how to use your social media in a safe way. Learn the dos and don'ts. Teach your kids how to use the accounts they own carefully and what to share. 

Apparently, an individual saying "you share first" all the time might be a sign of danger. They are reading you (not a bad thing if done innocently, but a horrible thing if done with malicious intent). All the time is a red flag. Many people read each other. We all read each other. When we read each other for the sake of manipulation or intent to harm it becomes a weapon. It indicates concealed intentions. In direct connection, we all know that some steal credit for work not done by them. Let's talk about Tesla and how many patents he had stolen. Those who steal credit are bad news. Playing dumb is another thing you might see from a deceptive soul, though that could also be to save hurting feelings. Again, playing dumb may be just someone with Sherlock skills not freaking you out. It depends on what the intentions are behind that. 

Drama is one thing that needs to stay on the stage. If it keeps coming up unnecessarily you might have someone with you that intends to make you come to them. You'll want to address the issue. They'll bring another one up and attack on another front. I've experienced that before. The person proved to be poison to more than one person. Drama magnets that cause drama, end up cutting people from their life because they "had to", and are not welcomed by family may be dangerous. The list of issues they caused could be rolled out like a scroll. 

If someone wants you dependent on them, they might give you a task and withhold vital information that would have you succeed. They then prove to you that you need them. They are keeping you tethered to them. Being dependent on humans is a recipe for failure, which they will keep giving to you. 

Ah, gifts, but it isn't my birthday? Why did I receive flowers today? Who's my secret admirer? Gifts at random are a way to make the victim feel indebted to the giver. If it isn't Christmas, birthday, retirement, wedding, graduation, a celebratory occasion, or gratitude for something be careful. You don't have to reciprocate. Unpredictable in general is a bad sign. Most people fall into habits and stay there for a while, changing as life does. Rapid fire changes aren't normal. 

Timing is everything. Did someone disappear during a crisis and then save the day multiple times? Well, be wary. They are manipulating you into admiring them. The timing of questions also fits into this. Questions timed during odd moments get more honest answers. Sometimes what you share can hurt you more than you thought. 

People in power sometimes back dangerous individuals because the individual played the victim or sucked up to them. You yield to people in power and feed them flattery to get power. Politics and Hollywood is full of toxic people who used others as stepping stones. Speaking of stepping all over people, a trail of victims or scapegoats may indicate a dangerous individual. Believe a trail of victims. Run if you see it. 

A dangerous person will maintain appearances to an extreme. Their image is everything. Professor Lockhart is a great example of this. He erased memories in the wizarding world (fictional) to make himself look great. Nothing is neutral and in extremes this is narcissistic. You challenge these people and they'll fly off the handle. 

We all have baggage. We all need to work through our issues. Remember when I said we've all been toxic? It turns out that when you are hurt, you hurt others. Yep, that one stings. Be real. We're human. We become dangerous when we let issues sit untreated for a long time. We only become dangerous when that issue is brought up, sometimes. It is okay to get help for something. Resolve those issues and keep on moving. 

Be wary of those that air grievances in public all the time. Privately solving issues is a good thing to do. Publicly putting all the laundry out for everyone to see is a dramatic move. We already talked about drama. It's bad. Ego is a big factor here. They won't be working things out in the relationship and won't be making it work. They act out and don't deal with stuff. 

Patterns speak volumes, which tie right into the trail of victims and scapegoats. The wreckage follows them. You can find them by the wreckage they leave. They justify it, too. Half-truths can happen here easily. Subtley dangerous individuals won't take responsibility for what they've done. It is everyone else's fault. Oh, and gaslighting is here to party, too. When it comes into play you need to run, fast, right now. If you want more info on a gaslighter, click here.

Misunderstood and Harmless

Ah, and here we are in the land of false alarms. Social cues being low may account for some behavior that triggers perceived threats. Intent is everything. Real threats indicate real harm and intent to harm, and perceived threats cause anxiety levels to rise unwarranted. Every perceived threat is different for every person. We all have triggers for fear. Your past experiences color your triggers for fear. No one can read anyone's mind. 

How do we decide who's creepy? Perception is everything. Your past experiences immediately become relevant information in your brain. Not everyone at the gas station at ten pm is there to be a creep. Not everyone who passes you in the darkened street is going to come after you. All the same, you might get scared, especially if you are petite and female.  

If you are male you are going to get misunderstood more often. Men are considered higher on the creep factor due to the violent nature attached to some bad apples. The Victorian ideal of women doing no wrong didn't go away; it just trickled down through our society like a small creek. Additionally, women will perceive more threats than men, which is directly connected to the patriarchal society we live in. There is nothing wrong with patriarchy if everyone is kind and considerate of others, but some men have ruined this. Those bad apples just made men more threatening. 

Some professions come across as creepy. Death scares people, so it should come as no surprise to hear that those working in the death industry come off as creepy. That doesn't mean your coroner or funeral director is dangerous, though. Do you want to know what professions get perceived as creepy? Clowns, taxidermists, sex-shop owners, and funeral directors. 

Abnormal is the word to focus on. Those that don't socially behave "normally" are seen as off. Many people don't think this is on purpose but also believe they can't change. Not all people with disabilities make others uncomfortable, but some do. Hobbies that are commonly seen as creepy include collecting dolls, insects, or body parts, or watching children, porn, or birds. To clarify, some of these should be giving us the creeps, and others (like bird watching) are harmless. Porn is an addiction that hits 5 to 8 percent of individuals in 2023. Many people you know may have struggled to be free of this addiction. It would shock you how many people silently struggle. Maybe a portion of them are dangerous, yet many people are not and feel shame for this addiction. 

We fear dark and high-crime areas. Women are going to be carrying mace in some places. Where one person feels safe, another may not. To be honest, we live in a society where some women surrounded by men feel unsafe, but most men surrounded by women may feel gleeful. Bad experiences in one setting can absolutely set off alarms. I don't like gas stations at night and malls alone, mostly because of crime novels and the fact trafficking happens in Canton malls sometimes. Know thyself. 

The conclusion I'm coming to is this; what is considered creepy is relative. Women have a more sensitive danger meter than men. Our society has caused this. This is why Jesus came and paid our debts; we need help. Some industries also feed the odd and abnormal functions that make predators. Porn in one person may cause shame, but others may start imitating it by force. Don't let strangers pick you up in malls and public places. Don't go home with a dude you met at a bar. You don't know what they intend. Take a hint from "the best song ever" by One Direction. Stay in that public place for your date.  

I said can I take you home with me. She said never in your wildest dreams.

Support For Others

If you see something, please say something. You may not be directly involved. You can still do good. University Health Services suggests remembering the three Ds: Direct, Distract, and Delegate. 

Direct - Speak to those involved directly and check in on those who might be harmed. 

Distraction - distract and make some diversion to let the person uncomfortable have an out. 

Delegate - You don't know someone well or can't be direct, so you find someone who can help directly

Also, I need to address the elephant in the room. If you find yourself becoming toxic get help for yourself. Take care of your emotional baggage and needs. Clear your mental headspace. Take care of yourself so you can have a healthy relationship with others. Be aware of your mental health. It is okay to ask for help before you damage someone else or yourself. 

 Deciding If They Are Dangerous

First, we look at your perception. Are you bringing bad memories to the table that cloud the facts of the situation? Write out what has happened. Talk to others about their perceptions of the person in question. Don't assume anything until you have the facts down on paper. 

Second, we look at what they have done and what your gut says after you've processed your own thoughts. Still seeing red flags? Tell someone. Still not sure? Tell someone. It's better to be wrong and have them be harmless than to not protect yourself and find they are dangerous. 

Keep in mind people are grey. We are complicated. Don't blow something out of proportion or downplay it too much. If your intuition is screaming at you go talk to someone who has your back. Find an advocate and a wise source of advice. Don't go it alone. Maybe it is a misunderstanding. Maybe it isn't. Some people don't understand social cues and some are doing this on purpose. Intuition doesn't go off for no reason at all. 

*

I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have two five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page.

Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.

Sources:

4 Signs That a Stranger Poses Danger | Psychology Today

10 Signs That You Are Being Stalked | Everyday Health

https://www.uhs.wisc.edu/stalking-the-difference-between-healthy-behavior-and-harassment/

https://psychcentral.com/pro/exhausted-woman/2017/06/how-to-tell-you-are-in-the-presence-of-a-dangerous-person

https://www.quora.com/How-can-I-tell-that-someone-is-a-dangerous-person-that-can-do-harm

https://psiloveyou.xyz/7-low-key-signs-of-a-dangerous-person-34b3b79d8c0b?gi=feeb6b2e93d3

Perceived and Real Threats - Hogan Guards LTD

Fight, Flight, or Freeze: How We Respond to Threats (healthline.com)

How We Decide Who's Creepy | Psychology Today

https://www.uhs.wisc.edu/bystander-intervention/

Films that were too dangerous

Did you ever think, "who thought this was a good idea"? Well, you will now. Take a quick look at this blog, video clips and all, to find out what movies were too dangerous to film - and were done anyway.

Courtesy of Blogger

Today we're talking about the films Roar, Waterworld, Apocalypse Now, The African Queen, Hell's Angels, Poltergeist, and The Conqueror. There are many films that cost lives out there, but we're just focusing on these. Many stuntmen suffered and died doing films. I would like to honor those who lost their lives or almost lost their lives working stunts on film sets. 

Each movie will have a clip of a scene, some of them just normal clips and others show why it was dangerous. One of these is a scene I'll post a horror trigger warning of because it comes from Poltergeist, where a child was nearly strangled to death by a toy clown. The director had to save the child. I'll also note that I'm not going to be talking about set curses more than once, which are notorious on horror film sets. Yep, actors who act in horror films can be haunted themselves, but since I want to sleep tonight we're not going there. I draw the line. 

Poltergeist

We'll start with the only horror one on the list. In this movie (1982 version) a clown toy goes behind a child actor and drags him under the bed while trying to strangle him. Speilberg had to save the child. The clip below is from a horror movie. Watch at your own risk. This is the clip where a child was genuinely in distress.

Okay, so I said we wouldn't talk about curses. This may be the one exception to my rule. I'm only looking at mishaps on the set itself or during the timeframe of the film, not the post-film ones. I will only touch on this in this section. Four people died during and soon after filming. Two are pretty weird. We'll name them off one by one. This was a series of films. 1986, 1988, and 2015 are the other years of the series' films. 

Heather O'Rourke was already ill. She was diagnosed with Crohn's disease in 1987. She was six when the first film was released. She suffered cardiac arrest, was airlifted to a hospital, and died during an operation to correct a bowel obstruction. This one may have nothing to do with filming. She died when she was 12. All the same, they think she was cursed. We'll really never know. 

Dominique Dunne died the year of the first film. Her ex-boyfriend killed her in her driveway. He went to prison for it and then was released after three years and six months in prison. Again, not happening on set. May not be related. 

Julian Beck died of stomach cancer after the second film. Will Sampson died after an unsuccessful heart-lung transplant, which isn't so mysterious due to the slim chance of survival doctors had predicted already. These two are not mysteries.

 Frankly, not much of this says "cursed" to me, except for the death frequency. Basically, all these actors were dying of illnesses. This wasn't the only reason the rumor of a curse appeared. Using real skeletons was a set decision that may have influenced that. These skeletons were meant for classrooms, but were used as props in the film. "Cheaper than plastic", apparently, was the reason for this. Oh, and the medicine man actor actually performed a real exorcism in front of the cast (Sampson, who later died).

Roar

The film Roar was a dangerous endeavor that shouldn't have been attempted. It is about a family living with lions. Nobody died, but there were 70 cast and crew injuries. Noel Marshall, married to Tippi Hedren, put his whole family in the film. Melanie Griffith (Hedren's daughter) had to have facial surgery after being mauled. Hedren fractured her leg, got bitten, and got gangrene. Marshall was hospitalized with gangrene. John Marshall, Marshall's son, got bit on the head for 25 minutes. According to Ranker.com ' Marshall also had some harsh words for his father: "Dad was a f*cking assh*le to do that to his family." ' Tippi Hedren apparently shared that thought because this film ended their marriage. She continued working with big cats, but no longer supported the idea humans and big cats could coexist in a home. 

The shoot was a big zoo, with 132 big cats (lions, tigers, leopards, cougars, and jaguars) and one elephant. The director and his wife raised cubs in their home. The final cut of the film had real documented incidents in it. Actors crying out for help didn't stop the director from getting his shots for the film. Melanie Griffith's mauling is left in the film. One man was scalped by a lion and still came back to finish this project. Five years of shooting were needed to finish it. In 2015 it was released in the US. The clip below doesn't involve blood, but does show you enough to know how scared all these people were.

Waterworld

It is known for being the most expensive film in history. Kevin Costner, the star of it, ended up editing it after the director jumped ship on the project. The whole movie is set on the water. The set building began at 5 million dollars, then ballooned to 20 million. The seas were rough, so there were days they couldn't even shoot for the film. Actors became seasick. The script work was already not good as it was. Creative differences weren't helping. One actor kept getting stung by jellyfish, which earned her the nickname "jellyfish candy" from Kevin Costner. 

Speaking of stuntmen from earlier, Costner's stunt double suffered a near-fatal embolism while deep-sea diving. He was lucky to recover and returned to set later. Time passes, weather conditions make things worse, more shooting days are needed, and we're at a 135 million dollar budget. Costner gave up some of his profits to keep it going. Then a hurricane hit. Make that cost 150 million dollars. This movie had a rough start and then didn't do well at all. It's done better as of late, but it was a hot mess to make. It's kind of an odd movie, too, which didn't really help its cause. 

Apocalypse Now

This is a war film that takes place in lots of jungle areas, with a main character on a secret mission and itching for action. Martin Sheen, one of the stars, had a heart attack on set. Ford Coppola had put too much pressure on him psychologically. Sheen's hair was even graying. Coppola himself had a nervous breakdown and seizure. He declared his intention to commit suicide during the shoot. He was so dedicated to the film he pressed on despite the mental cost. 

Sheen, in one scene, punches a mirror and gets blood on himself. That wasn't fake. Coppola had Sheen drunk and locked up some of the time, telling him awful things according to the cast. They didn't yell cut. It was a bad situation. 

The locals agreed to work with them, and in doing this Coppola agreed to give them animals for ritual sacrifice, so when you see a water buffalo killed that's real.  On top of that, a typhoon showed up to make things complicated. The military started to refuse cooperation, too. 

They nearly used dead bodies, but then decided not to. They were going to string them up on trees. The bodies came from a grave robber. The police showed up and it got real awkward until they caught the graverobber. 

Drugs were everywhere. Some used it to get through a day of shooting, like Dennis Hopper, who was provided the drugs in order to play his role. Nobody was okay. Dennis Hopper and Marlon Brando also hated each other. They even used real napalm.

Did I mention one of the construction crew died? A log fell on a construction crew worker while the set was under construction. It was a freak accident and a tragedy. 

The African Queen

One of my favorite Humphrey Bogart films is actually one that caused many actors to be ill. It is a WWI comedy and romance. The crew and cast were okay in Uganda, but in the Congo things got problematic. Snakes, crocodiles, mosquitos, and bad water were just the tip of the iceberg. They were living in a camp hacked out of the jungle. They had to remember to shake their boots out in case a centipede crawled into them. They washed themselves in the river daily. 

Most everyone got dysentery - except Humphrey Bogart and the director, who drank more whiskey than water. It saved them this time. Between takes Katherine Hepburn puked in a bucket. Bogart only ate baked beans, canned asparagus, and scotch whiskey. "Whenever a fly bit Huston or me, it dropped dead" according to Bogart. 

It hit well, so it all paid off. The film is fun to watch. Nobody died, but nobody had fun either. 

Hell's Angels

This 1930's film killed four people. It was directed by Howard Hughes. Two brothers join the British Royal Flying Corps and a love triangle happens. It was completed in three years. It became a talkie instead of a silent film.  With vintage planes and mechanics with him, he filmed shots as realistically as he could. Today it would have cost 65 million dollars to film. 

Hughes, though advised not to, flew one of those planes and got the shot he wanted, with the added cost of a plane crash. He came out with a fractured skull and went into surgery. The professionals he hired didn't get so lucky. C.K. Phillips crashed while flying to the shooting location. Al Johnson ran into tension wires, ended up in the hospital, and died a day later. Rupert Macalister died, though it wasn't recorded why. Phil Jones died operating a smoke generator and not getting out of the way of a bomber crash scene. 

The Conqueror

This is a John Wayne film. This is not a film curse situation, to be clear, but a film that caused later deaths due to where they were filmed. This film allegedly killed John Wayne. He played Genghis Khan, of all the roles he could play. It wasn't typical of his roles. This film was shot in St. George, Utah. It was 100 miles away from an atomic bomb test site. The federal government said it was safe to be there. Unfortunately, one of the filming spots had actually become a radioactive hotspot. Oops. Eleven atomic bombs had been tested a year before they filmed, blowing contaminated air toward Utah. 

Fast forward a bit and many cast now have cancer. It was connected back to filming this movie. I will say that this movie is theorized to have killed John Wayne, who died of lung cancer (and he says it was because he smoked). 220 cast and crew went out there. By now 91 had cancer and 46 had died of cancer. I think we can conclude they shouldn't have been out there. Howard Hughes, who funded it, spent 12 million dollars buying copies of the movie and watching it out of guilt. He felt responsible for the damage done. He couldn't have known about the radioactivity, but he sure felt guilty about it. 

I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have two five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page.

Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.

Sources:

 The Insane Story Behind Roar, The Most Dangerous Movie Ever Made (ranker.com)

The Most Dangerous Films Ever Made (looper.com)

10 Horror Movies That Were Dangerous Or Difficult To Make (screenrant.com)

The 'Poltergeist' Curse: Inside the Mysterious Cast Deaths and Oddities On Set (biography.com)

Dangerous when wet: Inside the tumultuous times of Waterworld | EW.com

Bizarre Things That Happened On The Apocalypse Now Set (looper.com)

While filming "The African Queen" everyone fell sick from drinking the water except for Humphrey Bogart and John Huston, who drank whiskey (thevintagenews.com)

The 1930 Film That Killed 4 People While Filming (grunge.com)

'The Conqueror': The John Wayne Film That Killed Nearly Half its Cast and Crew (wideopencountry.com)

Women and Appearances

Women have makeup and trendy clothing marketed to us from an early age. We're taught by each other and the women around us that we should care what we look like. The men? Not so much. Today we're talking about why appearance seems to matter so much more in female society. 

Courtesy of Stocksy United

What are women shown in media? Easy answer, what we're supposed to model. This is a problem. The female standard is fickle and constantly changes as time moves forward. We used to wear corsets, but now we're trying to achieve that silhouette by exercising. In many ways, the new standards promote unhealthy lifestyles and behavior. 

Let's not mince words here. We need to address the elephant in the room. Whatever we wear we get judged, either by our peers or society as a whole. Men are visual, yes, but that isn't a reason to use that phrase as a mental battering ram. Men will be staring at you whether you are in jeans and a t-shirt or a bikini on the beach. They are programmed to pay attention to women because otherwise no one reading this would be born. My husband would think I was worth a million wearing a trash bag. While you shouldn't be parading in the nude or posting porn, it is equally true that we shouldn't have to be covering up in 90-degree heat for fear of judgment. 

Unrealistic Standards

Victoria's Secret models are not the norm. Models in magazines have been edited. Society has expected us to have a flat stomach for a long time. Mine isn't flat and no amount of Zumba once a week will change that. Shakira may have one, but most of us haven't been belly dancing for most of our lifetimes. The point is that we're given unrealistic standards to follow by edited images. I've stated before that society screws men and us over by telling us to dress sexy. We then get judged for doing just what society said to do. Unfair is an understatement. 

We are shoved into the beauty standard the minute we enter the school system and the outside world itself. Look back and see how many peers taught you to care about your hair, face, and body image. I revert back to tomboyism, especially now that I'm married and my husband is already impressed. I have no need to worry over how I look unless I'm going to a cosplay convention, wedding, funeral, or book signing. Do I care? Yes, I still care, yet I will never understand what drove my peers to wake up early and put on makeup every day. 

As mentioned before, there are certain standards of beauty that need to die in a hole. One is a flat stomach, another is needing plump lips and butts, and the worst one of all is the need to be the trending body type. Gibson Girls are a shining example of a trending body type that is not healthy. Wasp-waisting is not safe and should never be attempted. All those I listed can cause self-esteem issues, bulimia, anorexia, and medical after-affects from injections. Please, you are beautiful the way God made you. Don't go getting surgery to fix what isn't broken. 

Courtesy of Pinterest

Speaking of unfair standards, let's talk about fickle fashion. Because we have boobs (which really aren't just decoration) we have different rules. Those with large boobs never win. Those with practically no boobs never win. Nobody wins because fashion dictates what gets sold in clothing stores and it never stops changing. Most men don't have to deal with arbitrary rules and opinions on coverage and what is or isn't showing. Also, men don't have to deal with that in the leg department, either. 

We are expected to look nice. Men can wear about anything to a school dance (especially in a rural area). Women have been taught they must wear a dress. Go ahead and think back or observe your school dances. Try to name one female that wasn't wearing a dress and makeup. If you can't think of one you aren't alone. We are taught to look good in public. We are also taught what is appropriate to wear by our community. Depending on whether you are Amish, Jewish, Christian, Hindu, Muslim, any other religious community I forgot, or have no religious background it changes. Our authority figures and peers teach us what is acceptable. Hollywood also gives us a standard to follow. Unfortunately, it sexualizes many women into being mere bodies to admire, like we aren't people. Marilyn, as we can see to the left, is one example of a sexualized woman who was exploited for her body. 

Speaking as a Christian, I was told to care about my appearance by mostly school peers. Church clothes are a complicated issue if you go from a casually dressed church to a formal church setting. Generations past will also hold different opinions on "appropriate" clothing. Every church holds a different standard, it seems. I had a habit of wearing what I wanted despite other opinions. As long as it wasn't obscene (and it seldom was) my parents and family let me. I did wear my running shorts to basketball one day a few years ago, though, and it didn't go so well. It does make men uncomfortable to wear skin-tight shorts (oops), so I made sure those were Zumba and running shorts alone from then on out of respect. I see no issue with modesty in churches as long as rules are applied equally to both genders. My peers at school often liked making me over (hair, makeup). At this point in time, I don't try all that hard to impress with clothing and makeup. You'll also notice that modesty is something built into my clothing standard because I'm a tomboy. I don't post thirst traps. I get enough DMs as it is.

What you do without thinking about why

Shave your legs, trim your eyebrows, shave your armpits, use anti-pimple skincare... All these things are done by me without thinking about it too hard. Why? Women are taught to shave the hair on their legs and pits. We are taught to not let a unibrow develop. We are taught to care about our faces. Do you stop to think about why you do your everyday beauty routine? Probably not. The double standard here is the fact men (minus a few) don't do these things. 

You say "book signing" and I say "I need to pick out my outfit the night before". Why do I put on my heels, makeup, and my favorite black dress? When you stop and think about why women like me decide to put on a dress it has to do with public appearance. It also gives us positive feedback. I posted a picture (featured to the left) and got comments about how I looked "fire" (slang for good-looking if you aren't up on the latest slang). The positive feedback conditions us to put on makeup and a nice outfit when we want attention or want to feel good about our bodies. Ladies, whether we have our red lipstick on or not, I think we all look fire. 

I value a clean house for multiple reasons. It is more of a mental health exercise than anything else. Many of us feel pressure to have a clean house as a woman. Why? Let's go back a few decades. The 1950s judged women heavily on their ability to keep a home happy and healthy while raising kids and doing all the cooking-  and looking good while doing it. Women still feel pressure to be homemakers today. Times are changing, though. Your living space does have to do with your appearance and reputation. It still counts in this blog as an appearance.

Self-esteem

You wouldn't believe it, but I am insecure about my weight. Body image in most women is a real concern. We love parts of our bodies and feel insecure about other parts. My feet are not pretty. They used to be, though. Most women are definitely worrying about weight according to Psychology Today. The standard of having a flat stomach doesn't help our self-esteem.

Courtesy of Glamour
A Victoria's Secret model on the 
street

Other women gender-police other women into looking the part of being female, so you can logically assume that comments on your weight, face, skin complexion, clothing, hairstyle, or any other aspect hold weight. Professionalism and dating require you to look good (circle back to me and my book signing). It impacts a lot of women who want romantic attention or professional attention. Makeup and antiaging products really sell the idea you need to look young (which comes back to the idea you are less likely to get a man when you look older). We compete with our fellow women, too. That doesn't help. 

Gender stereotypes feed women young and old the lie that we need to be pretty all the time. The makeup industry thrives on women. Gender bias leads your family to give you feminine toys when you are a girl, discouraging the pursuit of masculine toys. It is reinforced by many people that females should care about the appearance of the home and be feminine. 

According to The Guardian: 

"Furthermore, constraining stereotypes have a negative impact on girls’ mental health, convincing them first that an ever more demanding paradigm of physical “perfection” must be met with apparent effortlessness and then that being “popular” – meek yet sociable – sexy but not “slutty”, sporty in a narrow, feminine parameter (not “too muscular”) are imperatives. This, combined with the ever-spiralling academic pressure experienced by all young people, understandably causes high levels of anxiety, which, when sustained over time, can lead to feelings of depression."

What we are taught by society teaches us to try to be pictures of perfection we can't be. Gender classes at Malone explored this concept deeply. Nancy Drew - my favorite fictional character - even embodies this in the original books. When the images of women onscreen show us sexualized women it doesn't help our self-esteem. Nobody wins this game. We aren't supposed to be playing this comparison game. Nevertheless, the comparison game spurs on the idea we need to make ourselves into a perfect woman. 

Personal Challenge: Let's build each other up today. 

I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have two five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page.

Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.

 Why Women Feel Bad About Their Appearance | Psychology Today

You are your looks: that’s what society tells girls. No wonder they’re depressed | Natasha Devon | The Guardian

5 Things Women Are Judged More Harshly For Than Men | HuffPost Women

Double standards exist when judging women’s clothing – The Daily Evergreen

The Double Standards in Beauty Standards | The Daily Star

Social Rules Most Women Unknowingly Follow (thelist.com)

10 Imposed Beauty Standards That Modern Women Should Ditch Once and Forever / Bright Side

Parlor Tricks

 We are no better than the Victorians. While our parlor tricks have turned into TV shows and ghost hunting, we are still doing them; the only difference now is we have paranormal science and gadgets, which are sometimes not even reliable. Lets get into it and dig deeper. 

Courtesy of Pinterest

If you asked Houdini (you can't, he's dead) where to find a non-fraud medium he'd tell you not to bother. Houdini put out a challenge way back when that stated any medium or psychic proving their power would win the grand prize of 10,000 dollars. Many tried, but none succeeded, and here we are still watching them on TV. What's wrong with us? 

The Victorian era had a way of playing parlor games to contact the dead. Smart, no, but they sure thought it was fun. Not all these parlor games were about the dead (let's be real, some of them must have learned not to mess with it), but Halloween was all about the spooky. The innocent parlor games actually sound like boatloads of fun to play, including blind man's bluff, forfeit, lookabout, charades, the sculptor, Kim's game, pass the slipper, and dictionary. If you want to try these out -for they are far safer to play - click here for the descriptions. Be aware that there are more of these you shouldn't play that will leave you hurt, so do your own research before attempting any not listed here. From here on out, we'll be focusing on the dangerous ones that involve the supernatural. I will be talking about the Victorian era first, then our current time of 2023. 

Victorian Spooky Games

I hate to break it to you, past Victorians, but your games were also witchcraft. Oops! The occult was a popular topic back then. It still is. I don't suggest traveling this path. Sceances, mediums, crystal balls, palmistry, cartomancy(future told in playing cards)...All games for pure entertainment in one's living room. All of that is witchcraft. Another thing that emerged in the Victorian era is the symbolism of flowers (language of flowers), which while fascinating has a loose connection to witchcraft. As suspected, the working class were not the ones going to seances out of curiosity on the daily, mostly because nobody's got time for that in poverty when you have a family to feed. 

If you think Wica didn't exist then, you're wrong, they just didn't label it that. Halloween games included what sounds distinctly like Wica practices. Guessing your future marital status and husband was a common one. It sounds stupid to me. You walk into a dark room in front of a mirror, peel an apple, and maybe you'll see the face of someone you'll marry. I don't understand why this was entertaining. If you saw a skeleton you'd die alone, apparently. 

Courtesy of imgflip.com

Another way to guess your marital status was to bake a dangerous cake. Bake a ring, needle, dime, and thimble into your cake. Needle and thimble indicated spinsterhood (no marriage), but a ring or dime indicated you'd marry. Tea anyone? Let's drip the tea; not spill, drip. Suspend a spoon on a teacup and drip tea onto it until it falls. Every drip is one year you have to wait until you marry. These people must have been high-class and bored out of their skulls. 

 To be fair to the Victorians, there was a lot of death around them. Why? Well, let's look at the arsenic makeup, child mortality, and other causes another day. History Connections has a whole series that I'll link right here. Medicines were not great, either. Medical care was not something you want me to talk about, and I don't care to. The occult was grief motivated for many who had lost loved ones one after another, like Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. They seemed to be obsessed with death in some ways, such as visiting cemeteries for picnics and viewing curious bodies (posted by newspapers) at morgues. 

We also have to address the charlatans in the room. Houdini liked to go undercover and expose them. They had many different ways to fake everything, including dimming the lights and making everyone close their eyes so a partner could do things unnoticed. They could tap on the floor with their feet, cold-read the people in the room, and make up crap on the spot that was so vague it couldn't be disputed. It made them money because there is a sucker born every minute. It was wrong on so many levels. It is also the base of some magic tricks modern magicians can do. The world of magicians did benefit from all the charlatans, which isn't so strange if you think about it. 

Todays' Parlor Tricks

We're going to start with our own modern Charlatans - those faked ghost-hunting shows. Not every show is faked, I know, but they do slant the historical view of The Winchester Mystery House and The Stanley Hotel, as proven by these two links; Winchester Mystery House and Stanley Hotel. These two Youtubers mention that at least one ghost show or two is clearly faking stuff for views. I don't think it's a good idea to ghost hunt, but I despise those that fake it more. If you intend to ghost hunt do it for real or just say it is fiction straight out of the gate. You make a mockery of yourself if you are found to be a charlatan. 

Courtesy of The Mirror -
a picture from the Winchester Mystery House

I confess, I have watched a few of these videos out of curiosity, despite my view that ghost hunting finds more demons than actual ghosts. I am a skeptic, but I also believe that some of them don't fake it. Kallmekris and Celina Spookyboo are not faking it in my opinion, nor are the Proper People (the few times they even attempted it). Honestly, I fear they are taking something supernatural home with them. The history of mental health in ghost hunters is not great. You risk taking a presence back home, where it can harm you. There are two viewers for these shows; one is watching because they want to make fun of the ghost hunters or disprove them, and the other genuinely might believe it. Let's be real. We've made ghost hunting a form of entertainment and we're no better than the Victorian Era population. It just so happens we stuff it into our TV shows and don't sit around peeling apples in front of mirrors.

The curiosity with death never left our society, ladies and gents. In fact, our bookstores now have Wica guides in them and crystals to be purchased. There is nothing new under the sun. I know a former Wica member and a current one. I flipped through the guide in a store and it literally sounds like I went back to the Victorian era. It mentioned peeling apples to bless a garden and moon water, which is water exposed to moonlight as far as I can tell. Our fiction also seems to be fascinated with the occult. And no, Harry Potter is not what I describe as the occult. Harry Potter is fantasy writing. Fantasy and the occult are not the same. No, I'm talking about the TV shows we see about covens and real occult practices. Have you noticed? Take a look around you. 

Wicca, to explain, is modern witchcraft. It sounds vastly complicated. I'll let you read the article yourself, if you are so inclined to. What is Wicca? An expert on modern witchcraft explains. (theconversation.com)

Did the seances end? No. Did psychics and mediums end? No. Did the ouija boards disappear? No, they are sold among board games, where they don't belong. I firmly believe they need to be taken off shelves permanently. I had an experience in a house where someone had used one. There are places with dark supernatural beings due to the use of the ouija board by at least one or two people. They are dangerous. That's how you find demons. It turns out nobody learned from the victorian era. We're still playing parlor games we ought not to. 

Conclusion

I will address magicians here, but I don't see harm in them. Houdini was one and he did not support the occult. He had Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's wife do a handwriting reading and it didn't match his mother's broken English, which spurred him to disbelieve psychics and mediums. There is no harm in a magic show. They already come with the implied nature of illusion. You suspend your disbelief like you are watching a movie. It isn't the occult. 

Courtesy of davidhalperin.net

At the end of the day, Solomon was correct in stating nothing new is under the sun. The societal views of people before us trickle down to our modern-day era whether we look back to figure it out or not. Nothing truly disappears. We have new charlatans and old ones mixed in together, making money from the vulnerable and curious. I guess we'll always have a certain curiosity toward death and the afterlife, inevitably leading to an interest in witchcraft and divination. We want to know the future. I don't think we need to know the future, but we want to. 

I believe God is in control. I don't think we need to be divining the future or talking to ghosts that could be demons. Jesus died and rose again to defeat Satan, thus we don't have fear if we are in Christ. He's got the supernatural covered. I don't have to try to keep guessing what happens next when He's taking care of me. If you don't agree with my faith view, we can agree to disagree. 

I do think we should all be wary of chasing the supernatural to any degree, as we will never understand what we are truly doing and may stumble into a door that opens up more trouble than we bargained for. 

Be careful. I care about my blog readers. I don't want you to welcome what you can't shove back into its opening. 

I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have two five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page.

Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.

Sources:

Victorian Parlour Games - Victorian Children

Victorian Witchcraft: Seances, Spirits & How to Enchant Your Corset! (otherworldlyoracle.com)

Victorian Halloween Traditions | Mental Floss

History Undressed: Séances, Spirits & Mediums - Victorians & Spiritualism

What Did People Do For Fun During The Victorian Era? (ranker.com)

Unburying Yourself From Your Personal Projects

 We've all taken on more than we can handle at some point in time. We got too excited by our hobbies or thought we had more time than we did, but now we have to unburden ourselves from our projects one finished project at a time. Let's grab our shovels together. 

Courtesy of design-fixation.com

First, you will need an open word document, piece of paper and pencil, or excel sheet. Whatever you prefer to use to organize your thoughts will do. Before I talk about prioritizing and figuring out what to tackle first we need a comprehensive list of your projects. I'll start by giving you an example. 

My projects:

Freewriting Story draft - long range, commitment, unsure how close to end I am

editing next book/novella - long range, commitment, unsure how close to end I am

diamond dots painting - long range, leisure, about one fifth through it

counted cross stitch - long range, leisure, about 90 percent through it

playing dredge - short range, leisure, three fifths through the game plot

playing harvest moon - medium range, leisure, close to through the main storyline

reading Lonesome Dove - medium range, leisure, a little more than two thirds through 

prewriting new blog series - long range, leisure, 80 percent finished

The example above follows this pattern: (project) - (long, medium, or short range) (commitment, due date, or leisure), (how finished the project is)

Take a minute and go through this for yourself. What do you have on your plate? You'll get a good overview of what you actually need to finish and what can wait. 

Prioritizing your list

Now pull out that list and look for commitments and due-dated projects. How many do you have? Maybe you can put a lot of projects on a backburner list, where you can pick them up again at a later time. I highly suggest making a backburner list for the purpose of focusing on what needs to be done. You can pick up the backburner projects one at a time and unbury yourself that way. 

Commitments and due-dated projects go on the top of your list, organized based on what is due when. For me, my writing is a commitment, which makes the story draft and editing process the top tier of my list. The next tier down is going to be what you prefer to finish soon or what is nearly finished, your choice.  For me that is the blog series and Lonesome Dove. What is left goes on the bottom of your list or the backburner list, which is entirely your call to make. 

In summary, the first tier is anything you committed to, the second tier is what you prefer to finish/ what can be finished soon, and third is whatever is left. There is also the option of having a backburner list and leaving projects put away until a later date. 

Long, medium, and short range

To clarify, let's talk about the time a project will take. I've taken on two ambitious projects at a time and stressed myself out. It does actually matter how big your project is, in time and sometimes in size. If you have no time to work on it and it takes hours of crocheting to finish you should put it on your backburner. When you have nothing but time, you can pick it up and conquer it. Basically, be aware of what your project requires of you (time, materials, money). 

Courtesy of Pinterest

In that spirit, I define long-range as something that takes a lot of your time and energy. You can't crochet a large blanket in one day, nor can you do a larger counted cross stitch in two days. Many long-range projects take supplies, too. My blog series I'm working on is actually on the back burner because it requires I take a lot of time during the week to game, which takes time out of my writing time. All these referenced projects are long-range. 

Medium-range isn't going to take boatloads of your time and energy, but it will take some time from you. A longer book can go in this category, or crocheting a baby blanket will. Energy is taken, yet not so much that you take months to finish the craft, game, or book. My current video games can fit into this category, especially games like Harvest Moon that are near impossible to speed run. Dredge and Legend of Zelda seem to fit here, too, though some games can fit into the next category. 

Short-range is a speedrun-able videogame, an easy-to-read and short book, or something that takes a day to crochet. In other words, you can finish off the project within a week or less. It doesn't take forever. Chronicles of Narnia books can fit in this category easily, mostly because they are actually written for younger readers.  My Marlowe collection and Nancy Drew collection can also fit. For you, this may mean all you need to do is devote a few afternoons to something you haven't finished yet. 

When I wrote out my list above these are the working definitions I went by. If all your projects are long-range I'd suggest putting a few on your backburner list and knocking them out one by one. Short-range may just take a few afternoons every few weeks. 

Leisure and commitment

Picking up a project for kicks and giggles is not the same as promising to make your niece a birthday gift. The most important distinction is commitment. My counted cross stitch is more enjoyable when I'm not constantly racing to finish it. It will be finished faster, believe it or not, if I am truly enjoying myself. I'll want to pick it up more when I'm having fun doing it. That doesn't mean you won't have fun making a birthday gift for your relative. It just means that you need to remember the difference between a "for fun" project and an "I promised this to someone" project. 

Courtesy of paradisefibers.com

The truth of the matter is that I'm guilty of putting leisure too high on my priority list sometimes. I have to adjust it quite regularly so I'm focusing where I need to be. Harvest Moon, Dredge, and my counted cross stitch are not at the top of my list, and if they were I'd never get any writing done. I'd be behind on blogs daily if that were the case. Many of us forget that our leisure shouldn't necessarily be the top priority in our lives. It is a blessing to have it, but it's a side quest in the long run. 

This is the ideal place to write out the back burner list. While your back burner list may never end, at least you didn't try to do it all at once. One at a time is a real way to get a lot of fun projects done. Finish what you started and put all your focus on one goal at one time. It'll be a better outcome when you are not trying to multitask (something science says you can't do).

A plan of action

What do you tackle first? Where do you start? Pull out that list. The first commitment you see will be your starting point. Anything on the first tier is coming first. Once you've got most of the first tier tackled, you jump to the next one. Finally, the last tier can be conquered. 

The thing is, though, that you are going to find other side quests coming up to tempt you. The back burner list is where these should go. Once your list is down to only a few projects maybe you can pick one up. This is going to take time, depending on how many projects you buried yourself in. 

Another way to think about this is progress; making it a goal to make progress on something can go a long way. Schedule out time to knock out a few short and medium-range projects, while also scheduling out time every week or so to make forward progress on long-range projects. Forward motion on something weekly will finish off at least one or two things on your list. The goal is to unbury yourself. Plan and schedule all that out as much as you can. 

Projects vs perpetual tasks

Projects that lead to perpetual tasks are not what I'm talking about. Blogging, promoting my book, managing my social media, and writing are never going to end for me. The tasks that I speak of in this post specifically are projects with an ending. 

Another thing to consider is when your hobby is not going to end for you. Diamond art, as long as I have the next one on hand, is also perpetual. Books and puzzles are perpetual, too. You might want to take what you do for fun over and over again off of the top priority list and focus on what isn't perpetual. Unburdening yourself of what you do only once may give you more time to do the hobbies you love. 

From now on

This will happen again. I'm just telling you now. Yet, personal rules may be set in place to make it less overwhelming to handle. For example, I don't take on more than one long-range sewing or crochet project at a time and force myself to finish reading the book I'm on before starting another one. Setting that boundary is worth it for your mental health. 

It may be that you don't generally plan out projects and what they'll require. Maybe you should be doing that. Remembering how long a counted cross stitch usually takes may color how often you pick one up in the future. Looking at the instructions and size of your project will help you figure out if you have time to do it right now, or if you need to put it on your back burner list for later. 

Courtesy of University of Toronto

Creative souls tend to overbook themselves because they have ten million ideas. A million dreams are keeping us awake. We want to make all the things for all the people for Christmas. We want to do all the stuff on our cat crochet Pinterest board. Every embroidery and cross stitch looks adorable. I, personally, would love to try out every Stardew Valley farm and name it something fictional every time. You get the idea. I need not continue listing all my ambitions. I am no stranger to overbooking myself.  I did, however, set personal rules for myself to stop me from doing this. I may not read every book on my shelf, but I can try. 

There is another element that makes it a promise that you'll have to do this again. Boredom is the enemy, dear readers, and an empty mind wanders. After you finish getting the list down you may start to get bored again. Depending on how much you had on your plate before this, it may not happen, but you may just find your hands itch for something to do with themselves and you want some new adventure. Put those personal rules in place. You'll need to do that if you don't want to unburden yourself of 10 projects you started and got overwhelmed over. 

I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have two five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page.

Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.

Stardew Valley Vs. Harvest Moon

 I now own both Harvest Moon and Stardew Valley, specifically a modded Stardew Valley game file and Harvest Moon Light of Hope. I'd like to compare the two, which are similar and yet different. 

Courtesy of The Xbox Hub

If you don't know these games, I'll explain their basic premise. They are casual games that include rebuilding a community of people by doing their sidequests and restoring their physical buildings. Take Legend of Zelda and get rid of the main villain, leaving only sidequests, and you'll find something remarkably similar to Harvest Moon. Stardew Valley is a farming game with some battle opportunities in the mines, so still similar to Legend of Zelda, but with more farming and fishing. 

What makes these different? Mostly artistic style and storyline. Harvest Moon Light of Hope is about saving the lighthouse and fixing all the ruined homes so villagers can return. Stardew Valley is about choosing between fixing the community center or supporting the major commercialized store (which makes all the people hate you). Stardew has you moving there to get away from the city and Harvest Moon has you shipwreck onto the island. Harvest Moon has a similar artistic style to Legend of Zelda DS games, while Stardew looks a like an older, pixel-like gameboy game. That is where most of the differences are spotted. 

Today I'll talk about the gameplay differences and what is nearly the same. Surprisingly, they are their own entities, even if Harvest Moon did come first. 

Differences

I already explained the setting and art style differences, but let me go into more detail. Stardew Valley could pass for an older video game than it is. I could totally see someone passing Stardew off as older than Harvest Moon, but that'd actually be incorrect. The art style of Harvest Moon, on the other hand, reminds me strongly of Legend of Zelda toon link characters. Even the music and sound effects continually remind me of the DS games I still own (Phantom Hourglass and Spirit Tracks). Your character doesn't speak, much like toon link. All you get are facial expressions (maybe five, at most). 

Courtesy of PCGamesN

Settings for Stardew Valley are pixelated, yes, but you get more town than country. Stardew is also not an island. Harvest Moon is definitely an island. The map is also different in Harvest Moon, as you have to unlock areas, as opposed to Stardew Valley (completely explorable first day, for the most part). This makes it harder to play Harvest Moon quickly, forcing you to unlock areas to get items and tools. Stardew gives you all the tools at once.

Now we hit on another difference. The gameplay includes clearing your farm, but while Stardew gives you every tool you need at once, Harvest Moon does not. It frustrated me, at first, to deal with being unable to clear the rocks on my farm. Harvest Moon forces you to slow down. Stardew can be speedrun. I don't think Harvest Moon can be speedrun nearly as quickly. 

The amount of mods that Stardew can handle is shocking. This game specifically was someone's pet passion project for a long time. Concerned Ape takes their time creating the game itself, which makes it so stable that it has dozens of mods available. I have the extended game mod, the bins anywhere mod, and the tractor mod. My husband has even more mods on his. Harvest Moon Light of Hope has maybe one mod, which my husband has already, and he couldn't find more than that. Yep, Harvest Moon is less likely to be modded. And even with the cheat mod, my husband still has a challenge on his hands. 

A sword. Nowhere in Harvest Moon have I had to use a sword or be provided a weapon, at least not yet. Stardew hands you a sword for the mines. I have seen no sign of monsters in Harvest Moon, but no shortage of them in Stardew. If you want to fight monsters and get rewarded for killing "x" amount of them later on, Stardew is what you want. 

Courtesy of navigames.es

Harvest Moon steers you into the storyline constantly, while Stardew lets the player do what they want from the start. It is a slight difference, but should still be noted. You have a lot of independence in Stardew, which even extends to customizing your home and layout (see next paragraph for discussion). 

In short, Harvest Moon Light of Hope won't let you abandon the major plotline and Stardew will give you free rein from the jump. Ruin the farm? Stardew cares not. Several YouTubers make a living messing around on Stardew Valley farms.

Customizing is a luxury Stardew Valley will give you. Want your barn by your house? Go ahead. Want your silo by your greenhouse? Sure. From Character details to even the farm type, you get your choice. Is the furniture placement not your favorite? Change it. Harvest Moon does not let you do that. You fix the barn and coop where they are. You get the cabin, but no choices on furniture. I was kind of sad about that. Your character gets one outfit. No customizing options exist for your character in Harvest Moon Light of Hope, at least that I've seen. 

Storage is not the same. You need bins in Stardew Valley, but never need bins in Harvest Moon. You have a limit of 99 or 100 items in Harvest Moon. Stardew items stack (most of them, at least). Stardew makes you consider your backpack space, while Harvest Moon doesn't. Bins anywhere mods make this problem easier to maneuver around in Stardew, which makes it easier to haul loads in the mines. Harvest Moon is nice because I don't have to worry about backpack space.

Oh, and one last thing. Fishing mechanics are entirely different. One feels too easy and the other takes a lot of learning to pick up. Almost too much learning, really. Harvest Moon fishing is too easy after attempting the fishing in Stardew Valley and getting it down pat. Stardew at least gives you crab pots, though, so I think they know fishing is a struggle. Once you get it, though, you get it, which leads to lots of money in your pocket.

What remains the same

Relationships are a big part of these games, including dating (if you want to, only if you want to) and marriage. You can get those heart levels up by giving gifts, talking to them often, or doing favors for them. Several characters need to be buttered up so you can do sidequests (mayor lewis' purple pants) or upgrade tools (Carol in the flower shop). Harvest Moon makes you become friends with the locals. You give gifts to them and they give you all of the side quests all of the time. Take them, do them, and reap the rewards of free items. 

Farming, fishing, and mining are all here. In fact, you need to do all of it to finish the village in Harvest Moon or the community center in Stardew Valley. You can buy stuff, but not all of it. The whole game begins with you farming for money with starter seeds. Then you get the pole from a character and can fish, which is where the real money is made. Seriously, sell fish. 

Cut scenes galore is normal for both, especially after big community quests. Don't forget that higher hearts mean more cutscenes that can ambush your time. Stardew at least lets you skip. You can learn more about the villagers at this moment. 

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Health bars are a real concern (unless you have the cheat mod for both of these games to make you invincible). Eat and sleep for more energy. Check out the hot springs, too. When mining, make good food. You need it to make it farther down into the mines, which requires extra energy to find down ladders. In this way, Stardew has a harder and yet easier mining situation. Monsters aside, you at least have a better method of finding the exit down in Stardew. 

Conclusion

Both of these I highly recommend playing. Grab them both when the next Steam sale comes up. They are excellent games to own and play, especially if you like casual farming games. I know not everyone wants to farm via their laptop, but I do. My husband and I got them and were hopelessly addicted for at least a week or more. 

The ultimate answer is no, they aren't the same game. I think one took inspiration from the other, though. I do like the similarity to the Legend of Zelda games. This category of games is built for the people who probably loved Farmville way back when, as well as those that want to forget their troubles for a few hours after work. Try these out if you get the chance and feel you'd enjoy it. 

And.......if you feel so inclined, try out something else, like my book. I wrote this in college and have finally put it out into the world. I would greatly appreciate those that pick up a copy in paperback or ebook. Like it? Leave a review on amazon!  I can't do this without you, my faithful blog readers and friends. Click here to go straight to my Amazon book page. 

Review - Music Boxes

 Today I am posting my review of Music Boxes, a middle-grade suspense/thriller. I'm going to start with a synopsis, so you know what this is all about. I'm doing this review spoiler free, which means you only get to hear about the ending once you check out the book for yourself (please do, it is worth it). 

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This book is about a ballet dancer named Lindsey, who has been uprooted by her family's move to New York. She runs into a woman offering classes only if she performs in the midnight shows. There is a sinister twist to this offer. Madame Destinee, the teacher offering the classes, calls students to her office who never come back. After they aren't seen again, a music box with their costume and face is seen on her shelf of music boxes. Lindsey must figure out what is going on before she becomes a music box herself. 

I give this five stars. Nothing bumped me out of the story. I read it in one shot. It took about three hours to read (give or take any distractions that find you). If you need a book to last one evening, pick this up and let it transport you into its world. I got lost in the storyline and hooked on the story after one chapter. It does have a Night Gallery-like plot with a creepier edge to it. No, it won't give you nightmares, but yes, it does leave you on the edge of your seat. I got a lot of emotions from this short novel, which indicates a good, compelling book. 

Going into detail on what I thought of the book will take three categories. I'll talk about the characters and plot, the foreshadowing and themes, and then the reading level. Let's dive in. 

character and plot line

The characters in the book have real emotions. Lindsey is dealing with the reality of being uprooted. Her parents are catering to her sister's needs since her sister Bridget has been enrolled in Julliard pre-college classes due to her violin talents. Lindsey wasn't even allowed to pack her ballet stuff because they had to make room for a music box that could have broken on the moving van. You can feel her dislike of the situation in the way she describes New York and talks about it in the first chapter. 

Dialogue between characters is organic, meaning it feels like a real person could say it in real life. Nothing in the words exchanged lacks emotion. You can feel the emotion spilling out between the words on the page. I can't say that about every book I read. 

Plot-wise, it is perfectly paced. It doesn't drag or go too fast. It doesn't feel like it takes forever to get to the good part. There isn't unnecessary fluff anywhere. It is linear and makes sense. The foreshadowing within the plot also gets woven in perfectly as the story goes on. 

foreshadowing and themes

The amount of foreshadowing in this novel is staggering, but it isn't too much. The foreshadowing of events and revealed truths are spread out all over the dialogue and images in the novel. A reader could put together what is coming or predict some events based on the evidence strewn through the book. It is consistent, every fact tying together in a flawless bow. Even if you didn't put together everything, there is a revealing scene to explain it all. 

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Apples are everywhere, for reasons I won't explain. It has to do with the ending. I'll say this, though; it is vital to notice the apples. It reveals an ending fact that I suspected as soon as I read the first half of the book. The other theme is jealousy, which runs from the beginning to the end. It's the core of the story itself. Lindsey is jealous of the attention her sister is getting. Madame Destinee is jealous of every dancer with talent (read the book, I won't explain this one). Jealousy is the reason that Lindsey gets taken into this situation in the first place. Lindsey has to combat her jealousy to defeat the evil going on. 

reading level and speed

Experienced readers could consume this book in one evening. It is written for upper elementary through middle school readers, but still appeals to me as an adult. That is a high compliment. For this reason, it is easy to read in one sitting. Only have half a day to read? Pick this one up. You won't regret it. 

The chapters are not super short, nor are they super long. They are just the right length. Twenty-one chapters is about the length of a cozy mystery, give or take one or two chapters. It never felt too long or too short. Someone had excellent judgment when deciding the chapter and book length. 

conclusion 

To make a long story short, I'll give the basic reasons to drop by your local bookstore for a copy. It isn't going to take you forever to read it. The foreshadowing is brilliant and the darker, creepier tone is good enough to be an episode of Night Gallery or Twilight Zone. The characters were amazing and I cared about them, to the point of deep emotion. Go check it out and you'll see. You'll be thinking about it for a few days after, too. It was that good. 

No, I didn't forget about my own book in writing this review. Clickhere to reach my amazon page. My first suspense novel Wrenville is available in paperback and kindle ebook form. Check it out!