Writers are constantly observing everything. Anything can show up in our writing, especially people. When we want to base a character off of someone we don't know all that well it may be a bit awkward. How are we supposed to get close and observe their habits for our fictional character without appearing weird or creepy? This blog may help. If you wish to study the human race, please do it correctly and discreetly.
This post is not a guide on how to stalk someone. I want to be clear. This post is how to study and people-watch humans you don't know all that well for the purposes of writing fictional characters, without getting stalking accusations slapped against you. I do not advocate following someone around like a film PI (because, frankly, it isn't even accurate legally) or popping up everywhere they go, due to the fact that if they notice you are doing this they will get a little upset (which can be anything from a stern conversation to legal stalking charges). The blog below is not about gaining their personal information or hacking someone.
 |
| Photo by a writer of history |
First, we are going to go over the legal definition of stalking. No joke. As much as I'd love to observe someone under an invisibility cloak, it is not legal. Also, it is better to befriend than to stalk if you want to get to know them well. Voluntary information is given in friendship, plus more opportunities for legal and comfortable observation. Friendship is magical, especially if you need writing inspiration.
According to Merriam-webster
"Legal Definition of stalking
: the act or crime of willfully and repeatedly following or harassing another person in circumstances that would cause a reasonable person to fear injury or death especially because of express or implied threats
broadly : a crime of engaging in a course of conduct directed at a person that serves no legitimate purpose and seriously alarms, annoys, or intimidates that person
NOTE: Stalking is often considered to be aggravated when the conduct involved also violates a restraining order protecting the victim."
The information we want
Given the above definition, I would like to make sure you know what I look for when I base a character off of someone. I am not looking for personal information to steal identities. Do not take personal phone numbers, addresses, or anything of the like when looking around.
I observe personality, which is the characteristics of who someone is. It is how they act, think, react, and live. This is something you have to observe and take notice of as they get comfortable. It comes out in their words, what they value, the traits they value, and how they react to anything. Personality is how they are wired. Time is needed to get this information and you shouldn't just befriend someone and drop them like they were only a means to an end. True friendship creates many character bases in many stories, so try to keep those going. This also includes intro and extroversion.
Description can be anything from how they walk, to how they talk, to what color their hair or eyes are. This doesn't require friendship, so if you are only describing them and nothing else you need not become besties - just don't gawk or record them without their permission. Please don't violate the stalking laws above to get this descriptive information. The best way is to sit in a public place with a book, laptop, or music in your ear and drink coffee. Become as normal and invisible as possible and blend in with the crowd. Know the social rules or you will fail at blending. Then take notes as subtle-like as you can. Coffee shops are great places to do this. Take notes in your head, if you can.
 |
| The ideal place to people watch Photo by Pinas Social |
Values, defined here as what they put as their highest priority and care about deeply, are shown through what they react to. For instance, if they jump in on a debate on a political agenda, but don't even speak about the next topic that is a clear sign of what they care about. It is either that, or they don't believe the crowd they are in understands or will try to. As for priority, take note of what they put their time into. Time spent and money will reveal what is higher on their mental hierarchy (and sometimes we shift those, so notice that, too). It isn't all that hard to see if you try and truly pay attention.
The only other thing I look for is tendencies, as in unique quirks that only they seem to have. I have a tendency to talk to reason out loud when comfortable and alone, as an example. Along with this, we have habits. Whether they were started from experiences, conditioning, childhood, or superstitions is to be noted if possible. A lot of the time we may never know why they have that quirk until we become close with others or see their home life. Lifestyle comes into the discussion at this point and social norms are put into this category. Take special note of habits and social faux pas (or mistakes) because any social mistakes are signs of an unfamiliar social rule that contradicts a lifestyle habit. Along with this, you may notice what they are uncomfortable with. If they get uncomfortable with you, specifically, back off of them for a long time (or forever, if they are truly, deeply annoyed).
How to use social media without creeping
The above information can be found on social media if they post often. However, pretend that you are a private detective that wants to leave no trace at a crime scene. I have made this mistake once and it got taken badly. It is easy to say "oh, cool post" and share (because that is easy), but do that a bunch of times in a row and you are going to be noticed. Don't react to anything, especially if you think they won't take it well, if you decide to find information off of a public profile. If possible, get them to accept a friend request. In that case, they will have authorized you to look. "Public" is important because that means they told everyone on the internet the same information you are seeing on the page, which means they can't say much of anything legally, should they misunderstand you. Don't annoy anyone if you can help it.
That warning being said, I continue. What someone finds important they share, post on, write statuses about, and chat about. The groups they participate in are signs of values. You see a lot of another human's life by going so far back into their posts that you run out. Pictures reveal who they hang out with and find valuable. Another warning I'll speak of is that anyone can be what they want to online. Don't depend on this for everything. Please be discreet.
Observation
Actions speak louder than words. People watchers everywhere know this to be true. The discreet watching of a subject comes with some need for guidance if you are new. You are going to face the same pitfalls of a PI (private investigator) if you don't befriend the character base. I, again, advocate that you do so. That aside, I will give more advice.
Public places are easier to manage if you want to do this stealthily. Coffee shops are full of people who linger and no one is too suspicious. Grab a hot beverage or snack, take a laptop, and chill. My best advice here is to act like a local or be one. Blend. In the case of other public places, it is the same concept. If you can look natural taking notes do so. The safest way is to jot it down later on. Stick to one place and don't follow them anywhere, or you are going to get in trouble.
 |
| Photo By United States Cybersecurity Magazine |
Need help blending in? I found some advice online you might heed. For starters, act like you are supposed to be there and you are in the middle of something important. Do what everyone else is doing, if you need to linger. If you need to keep an eye on stuff it helps to strike up a conversation with the nicest and friendliest human in the area, while also paying attention to your subject. Wear what you see around you, preferably a common color like gray. To observe someone without them realizing it you can put headphones on or stare at your phone. Literally, so easy to do because all of millennial society (minus the introverted ones) do this for hours.
It is rude to eavesdrop, and yet, I do so almost naturally by acting busy and not gossiping the information out. Some days you should play dumb. People tend to get a little upset when you know more than they told you. I remember quite a bit about everyone I'm close to. I have played dumb often. Columbo, the detective, does so during the investigations he conducts and gets more out of someone by using this method. Take his hint. Don't panic people. Don't broadcast what you know. If you do intend to eavesdrop appear busy and preoccupied.
Assuming you are just observing, here are some things to remember. As a general rule, keep your distance unless you are friends. Don't make eye contact or give them any reason to look over at you. Be invisible. Mind your clothing and try to look clean and appropriate to your environment. If you stop observing to make a friend try to be casual and natural, not pushy. Don't make your subject want to run or leave.
Logical Deduction Science
This is where you become Sherlock. Try to channel your inner Sherlock Holmes as you take in every aspect of the subject you are getting to know. You don't have to ask many questions when you use this type of science, which makes this the safest way to base a character off of someone you know. You are a writer and can fill in the blanks. Be aware that you won't learn it all.
Let me give you an example. A man in his 20s is sitting in a coffee shop typing, pausing to drink his coffee, and sighing deeply. He has a bag that is worn and full of history books. His hair is messy. His attire is casual. The laptop has an Akron University label slapped on the cover, along with two Supernatural and Doctor Who stickers with it. He has been sitting there for a few hours. Another man comes in, someone his age, and joins him. They ask how his term paper is coming and he groans. They nod sympathetically. They say that they understand because they gave up on it fifteen minutes ago. They order their coffee and glance at the notebook of notes beside him. He has now opened a history book. They leave and come back with their own laptop, decorated with another Akron University sticker and a Batman sticker. They casually lean back and scroll through something you can't see. After half an hour of that, the pair leave together.
What do you know about your subject? He likes Doctor Who and Supernatural, and might like Sherlock (because the fanbase of both feed into the Sherlock fanbase). He is in a history class. He is having a lot of trouble with his term paper. He is an overachiever (noted due to the fact he didn't give up on the term paper), unlike his friend who is probably scrolling on a form of social media (the only place you scroll on a laptop). His friend is into DC comics, or at least batman, and might be a roommate. Both go to Akron University. Your subject has been stressed all day because his hair is messed up and he probably ran his fingers through it. Additionally, that professor getting the paper is likely hard to please. I got all that through looking and none of it through asking. Common sense will get you far.
What if I annoy my subject?
A note on gender is necessary here. Men, you should be extra careful if your subject is a woman. Women, like me, don't react well to men who come across as off. If you messed up and came across as creepy and not as a nice dude writing a novel (if you are a nice dude - I assume you are if you want to avoid looking creepy) you should immediately disappear from that person's life or apologize and hope that you can befriend them someday (not today, another day). Two choices. Pick one and live with it. If they say you are a creep and run, you back off with no parting words or intention to study further. This society sometimes makes women feel unsafe. My best advice here is that you make a new friend from the start (which works much better).
If they talk to you personally about it in a logical, reasonable way you can easily explain that you are writing a novel and they were chosen as a character base, but if they desire to be left alone you will do so. This is if you run into a friendly human. The fact that they are willing to discuss this with you is a good sign and means you might work it out eventually (if not now). Don't despair. They are probably more forgiving than others. All the same, back off until your friendship is repaired.
Now, we bring up the illogical humans that get their feathers ruffled and don't forget. You make a mistake with this breed of human and they may do things behind your back. This is why you should heed the warning I posted at the top of the blog. This person will not just passively forgive you right away (believe me - I've been here before), but ask their forgiveness and explain anyway. Then back away from them declaring that you will leave them alone. And make no attempt to contact or talk to them unless they initiate first. Don't create any evidence that you were studying their personality. The less physical evidence you create, the better, because if they declare that you stalked them and there is no evidence to be found they can only slander (which still hurts, but is not as bad as it could be). Again, this is a human who may hold a grudge for a long period of time. Be careful and tread on eggshells.
I'll end this on a note I've been repeating all this blog. Befriend the subject of your studies and you will go far. Friends are far more forgiving than strangers. Friends will not spook as easily and you have easy access to being where they are - all without a conspicuous trenchcoat and hat (which you shouldn't even use nowadays). Go easy on yourself and make a new friend today. It will take the risks down to a bare minimum, where you can breathe a little easier. Plus, you get so much more from the subject when they trust you.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/out-the-ooze/201604/why-some-people-creep-us-out-so-much
https://www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/10-things-extremely-creepy-people-do-usually-without-realizing.html
https://graywolfsurvival.com/133872/the-art-of-blending-in-5-tips-from-a-counterintelligence-special-agent/
No comments:
Post a Comment