Female Gladiators?

I needed a quick blog this week and Facebook handed me a topic on a silver platter. A lot of false history hits our social media feeds, but women being gladiators - or gladiatrices to be exact - was not false. Let's dive in. 

A statue of a gladiatrice/gladiatrix - courtesy of Reddit

Keep in mind this blog won't go deep diving, thus you should dive deeper yourself if you are interested in the topic. I am introducing you to the topic because I wanted to find out if Facebook was correct. This is a quick history type of blog post. Feel free to research more. I didn't use all the information in my sources. Go ahead and peruse the links below. 

Gladiatrix or gladiatrices are women gladiators. Attempts were made to regulate it through legislation. It was not overly appreciated by Roman writers. It was criticized. Women participating in the games of Rome were not welcomed with open arms. Another name for them is Ludia (Ludi being a name for a female performer) or mulieres (women). Rarely are they named feminae (ladies). The term Gladiatrix was used in the 1800s. Despite all the controversy, there is evidence women were honored as much as the arena men. Their desires were probably for fame, money, independence, and remission of debt. 

Women's roles

Patriarchy is the word of the day. Women didn't write much in Rome and we don't have much about their experiences. Why? Because men wrote most of the history. Women were being restricted and shoved into the domestic box, with less freedoms than men and less choice. I imagine that the more conservative the home the less freedom there was. One source written by Sulpicia in the first century BC actually talks about how she was upset about not being allowed to make her own birthday plans because her uncle interfered. She still had more freedom than most women. Married women who competed were looked down upon. 

Yet, women could be gladiators? Legislation in 11 CE forbids freeborn women from entering the arena under the age of 20. This seems to suggest they could be gladiators and could make that choice for a while. In 200 CE women were outlawed from the arena entirely.  It apparently encouraged a lack of respect for women (crude jokes in the stands - some things never change). Septimus Severus also had a different motive, which was trying to discourage women from wanting to be in the Olympic games. Despite this decree, women still competed later in the third Century CE in Ostia, a port city. 

According to Worldhistory.org there was an interesting legal loophole. "The wording of the inscription specifies that Hostilianus allowed mulieres to fight, not feminae and so it may be that Hostilianus was able to get around Severus' law by some legal loophole whereby free born ladies of the upper class were still prohibited but lower-class women and female slaves could still participate in the games."

Women started in the games as fighting dwarves, sometimes at night by torchlight. Most women later moved on from this to be real gladiators. This was just the start. It was a new novelty. It got attention. Women fighting women was popular, to no one's surprise today. Nero even had women gladiators battle to honor his mother - the mother he murdered (remember, the guy that made human candles out of Christians and had garden parties to watch them suffer?).

Class had something to do with this. Again, most were slaves fighting. It made someone money to make their slaves fight. However, the elite also did the fighting. It was new and exciting. It was an act of defiance and a way to make some parents very upset. Wealthy women could afford all the training and had plenty of time to work out. Women were encouraged to be strong and do sports because they needed to pop out children. 

If you complained about the Zach Snyder Amazons, you are in for a shock. These women fought with nothing on top, helmets, shin protection, and a loin cloth. They fought people with disabilities, each other, and animals. I'm not surprised that someone noticed they got cat-called from the stands. They were an exotic show, something new and rare. The wealthy showed off by having them fight. The crude comments were one reason legislation took steps to limit their arena involvement. These women were marketed as Amazons, which is no shock based on the Roman beliefs. 

The Games Themselves

Would you believe this was a funeral-related activity? It was people re-enacting legends and life events as a tribute. Eventually, the funeral stuff fell off the agenda and people just liked it in general. Aristocrats running for office often sponsored games. This later included the emperor's birthday, coronations, and other large events. 

The first one was held in 264 BCE (funeral-related). Honorius outlawed the practice in 404 CE. Many died (animals and humans) for the sake of mere entertainment. That being said, most did not end in death. Convicted criminals may have been executed there, but most fighting were slaves, slaves trained so well they were valuable. Criminals of serious crimes were executed in the arena. Christians were thrown into the mix, too, but they were not trained and were sent there to die. 

Executions were not the games, though. Not all ended in death. They were evenly matched and fought until one person dropped their shield and weapon to surrender (by holding up one finger). After surrender the sponsor would pause the fight. The up-and-down thumb comes into play here. It may be the sponsor would do the slit-throat gesture to say the loser would die. What the sponsor could do, though, was let the loser live. More were spared than killed. If the loser was declared to die the sponsor had to compensate someone for their slave. 

Evidence points to gladiators living years. It is possible that female gladiators were daughters of retired gladiators in some cases. There were schools for gladiators in Rome. The only catch is that your life is no longer yours. You were alive to fight and train, and only that. It doesn't seem likely they'd let women into the schools, though, so the idea is that maybe the retired gladiator trained the woman or daughter. 

Four types of gladiators were trained. Myrmillo wore a helmet with a fish crest and held an oblong shield and sword. Retiarius (usually fought Myrmillo) was lightly armed with a net and had a trident or dagger. Samnite held a sword, a visored helmet, and an oblong shield. Thracian held a curved blade and a round shield. The reward for making it big in any discipline was fame, fortune, and a lifestyle most women couldn't achieve. 

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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have 5 five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page. 

Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.

Sources:

Did Women Fight as Gladiators in Ancient Rome? | HISTORY

Female Gladiators In Ancient Rome - World History Encyclopedia

Warrior Women: Who Were the Gladiatrices of Ancient Rome? | History Hit

Piracy and Privateers

Pirates are famous for terrorizing the high seas, but can you tell me the difference between piracy and privateering? After reading this post, you can. 

Courtesy of Moviesandmania.com

The movies don't often tell us there is a difference. There is even one pirate, Captain Kidd, who claimed to be a privateer at his trial. Years after the trial the paperwork that had gone missing showed up. He'd been screwed over on purpose. You see, the only difference between a privateer and a pirate is a piece of paper that authorizes you to attack your country's enemy. The government gets most of the profit in that scenario. 

Today we're discussing the life of a pirate and the life of a privateer. Let's pour the rum and begin. 

Pirates

Pirates, who do not have papers from their government, can be killed and hung as an example to others. They still exist today - just with speed boats and machine guns. They are also called corsairs or Bucanneers, depending on your location. Corsairs had a religious context, too, because of the war between Muslims and Christians.

Working as a pirate meant everyone split the money equally and had a vote. The Navy didn't give you that. Also, pirates were quite egalitarian, which means everyone got a vote, not just the men. It might be better working conditions than the Navy depending on what time you were in the Navy. There was also a code and committees that met. It wasn't mad chaos. Strangely enough, it was democracy that limited mutiny. 

The price paid for piracy in the mid-18th century was steep. It was death. Hanging someone in a human-shaped cage to hold the body together was a warning to other pirates. It deterred them for a while, then it continued. There were regular hangings in some towns. Another price paid was having to go hungry at times, mostly because a pirate can't stroll into town for supplies at will. You have a price on your head. In this blog post, I'll leave another Max Miller on pirates eating leather to survive. 

The pirate code is basically a contract agreement of who gets paid what and other ship workings. It is a work contract. It isn't all that complex or mystical. One of my sources will give you some examples of found codes, such as the requirement to keep your weapon in good condition and to not gamble on board. Privateers probably had this contract system, too. 

One pirate group you know of is the Vikings. Often trade routes were easy pickings for pirates and privateers alike. The reason for becoming a pirate today has to do with third-world countries in poverty. During the golden age of piracy (1650s-1730s) farmers were forced off land and didn't have all that much left to try. Poor seamen could gain control of their lives through piracy. You could get rich and exercise dominance, in other words.  

Privateers

Privateers have papers saying they are working for the government and are authorized to go after only the enemies they are at war with. Some of them even get tasked with pirate hunting. Captain Kidd illustrated exactly what happens when everything goes wrong. He was a privateer according to documents later found - conveniently after his trial where he insisted he had papers to prove it. 

Above is a video that teaches you to make an alcoholic drink and learn more about this man. Only make this drink if you are of legal drinking age, please. Max Miller is excellent at presenting history and is always a fun time. He has a cookbook, too, but I digress. 

One thing to note about privateering is that it's shady. It takes manpower and resources away from the Navy because it pays better. Also, there were some cases where the lines between pirate and privateer were blurred. Pirates were sometimes encouraged, without paperwork filed, to pillage enemies in times of war. It's just really shady. Sometimes monarchs would take the gold in secret and keep it quiet.

In privateering, though, you didn't split all of it evenly, like pirates did, but instead gave a portion to whoever hired you. You can't have all of it. This may be why privateers did some side hustling to hit other ships outside the contract. We know they did that. They still made lots of money, though. Many leaders were charismatic, to the point of having a crew who would die for them. 

Modern Pirates

Since the early 1980s piracy has become a bigger problem. There is no authority to arrest pirates out on the open seas. Also, privateers still exist in the shadows, meaning some countries don't do anything to help the situation. 

Pirates have old tricks, like using another flag to hide themselves. Be aware of this in South and Southeast Asia, South America, and South of the Red Sea. Small-time pirates want your safe and to loot you. Organizations of pirates have connections, being one link in a criminal chain, and will attack. 

Modern pirates also have speed boats, machine guns, and illegal weapons in general. Yes, they kidnap, rob, and murder - only now they have technology to work with. Small cargo ships should beware. 

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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have 5 five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page. 

Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.

Sources:

Pirates, Privateers, Corsairs, Buccaneers: What’s the Difference? | Britannica

Piracy and Privateering - Pirate Ship Vallarta - BLOG

Pirate Code - Rules and Code of Conduct for Pirates (thewayofthepirates.com)

The Golden Age of Piracy | Royal Museums Greenwich (rmg.co.uk)

Modern Piracy - History of Piracy - The Way of the Pirates

Quiet - a review

I read Quiet. Here's my review of the book and why you should pick it up whenever you get the chance. I feel so seen as an introvert that I wish everyone would read this. 

Courtesy of Random House Audiobooks

This book is one woman's extensive research on introversion in an extrovert-focused world. I can't say it enough; everyone needs to read this. There is so much more in here I can't sum up everything without just handing you the book. 

For now, I'm reviewing Quiet in these categories - readability, credibility, and how likable the writer is. I don't often read the non-fiction genre (where this book falls). I still loved it. I feel incredibly understood as an introvert and I can't say enough about how good this book is. 

Readability

Readability is essentially asking "How easy is this to read?" I don't often read nonfiction. I said this earlier and I will prove it. I loved the book  Code Girls about women breaking codes, but it was a slog (despite my enjoyment of it). This book was no slog. Quiet was so easy to understand and read I could read half of it in about three to four hours. In fact, I did. It was worth my time and energy. It'll be worth yours. If I can read this nonfiction, you can too.

Credibility

Here we ask another question; is our source credible?  She is. You can look at her sources and check them yourself. You can also find extra content on how to raise introverts, how to teach introverts, and how to public speak as an introvert. These are all short and summarized in the back. It is part of her book at a glance if you need just a glance. It's nice. 

On top of all this, she has at least three to four studies in this book, as well as interviews she conducted herself. She dove into this topic with a passion. She gathered the stories, talked from experience, and got other peoples' experiences down on paper. She spent a lot of time researching this. She knows what she is talking about. 

Likable

The author's tone makes a difference in any book of any genre. Nonfiction tends to show someone's bias at some point. In a book about introversion, it is easy to make extroverts the enemy - especially when the world is run by extroversion, making it harder for introverts to feel okay with their own tendencies and themselves. This being said, our author never belittles extroverts. She suggests that extroverts and introverts work together to make the world a better place. We both have our own strengths and weaknesses. 

This makes the author a likable, compassionate, and loving human being. She does not villainize extroverts, nor does she overpraise introverts. While she is an introvert herself, she doesn't say "I'm perfect" or say that introverts need to rule the world. Bias comes into play when she speaks (same for me, same for you), but it doesn't taint her message. She can objectively look at research and come to a logical conclusion. That conclusion is simple; let's work together to understand each other and love each other. 

Conclusion

At the end of the day (and this blog post) I feel understood by this book. There is nothing wrong with introversion - no matter how many times you were called "shy" and put in environments that didn't allow you to thrive. There is nothing wrong with extroversion either. 

This book is for everyone. I want every professor who demands "participation" in class to read this and understand that it might mean more than vocalizing to participate. I want elementary teachers to read this book and understand you might be emotionally damaging your students to shove them in front of an audience while demanding they perform. I want parents to read this, students to read this, and I want extroverts to read this. I think this book can speak to everyone. This is a five-star read for me. 

Let me know what you think of this book in the comments. I would welcome any suggestions on what books I should review next. Cheers!

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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have 5 five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page. 

Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.

overview of Lonesome Dove book series

Have you ever watched the miniseries Lonesome Dove, Streets of Laredo, Dead Man's Walk, or Comanche Moon? Did you know it had books to go with it? Let's dive into it. 

Courtesy of missmoss.co.za

Lonesome Dove is a miniseries and a novel. There are four novels in that series. They can be read as standalone novels or as a series. The series itself is about two Texas Rangers. It starts in 1840 and ends in 1890. This blog may be spoiler-heavy. If you wish to read these books blind, not knowing what is coming at all, don't read this blog until you are done reading the novels themselves. It will be a hot second, as they are thick books. 

Now that we all know that there are spoilers and the people who don't want them have left (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) we'll keep going. Again, spoilers ahead. 

The Writing Style

The writing style of Larry McMurtry is worth talking about. He can talk about gory events and rapes without me having to put down the book. This is worth noting. I am a sensitive soul and can't normally read that. The writing style makes it possible for me to read this storyline without having to vomit or otherwise be scarred for life. 

Yes, this book has a lot of death in it, as well as rape, sexual assault, attempted murder, suicide, and some torture. Yet, how can I read it? The writing style. When he describes a rape he describes the lighting, not the sexual act. He knows his readers will do the majority of the picture-making. He uses this to his advantage and uses lighting and minimal description to get his point across, without losing the serious nature of the scene. I couldn't read Game of Thrones, but I could read the entire series of Lonesome Dove. 

Sex is not focused on unless it is necessary and most of it is prostitution, rape, or married people. McMurtry doesn't really put focus on sex, yet sex is quite clearly on the minds of other characters. Sex scenes are a mere three sentences or one paragraph long. Sexual references? Yes, but not innuendo and jokes. Most women in the West are in prostitution or married, and women out in the West are few. To be real, most of the references are prostitution and rape (lots of it). There is one male rape in here, a man too tired to fend off a woman who sat on his manhood in the early hours of the morning. Most women are objectified by the society around them in this book series. They don't trust most men. Maria, a Mexican woman, holds her daughter at one point and hopes she will never know the darkness she knew. Sadly, I still find that action relevant. Most of the rape involves native american captives, as well. 

The Overall Storyline

As stated above, you can read these as a standalone novesl or a series. Chronologically, you read it in the order below. Beside every book title I will briefly describe the events that take place. 

Courtesy of Amazon - From the movie Dead Man's Walk

Dead Man's Walk (early 1840s) is the story of Gus McCrae and Woodrow Call joining the rangers. There is only one plotline to follow here. McCrae and Call first go on a trip with Major Chevallie and get chased around by Comanches. Part two follows a new leader who wants to take Santa Fe, then after things go south and several people deserted, their ex-pirate leader gives them up to Mexican officers. The next part is the whole group going across Dead Man's Walk - a portion of land with no resources. I can sum up the events of this book by saying everything is going badly except the last part. The book itself is good, but the rangers don't hit any of their objectives except the last one. The next part comes after they have crossed and are being held in a leper's colony. Here they come across Lady Carey, who asks for their help in escorting her and her son and servants home. This is the best part and you'll have to read it to understand why. I won't spoil it. 

Comanche Moon (1850s - 1860s) is the book where McCrae and Call get the title Captain, after their Captain had his horse stolen and left them in charge of taking everyone home. The basic plotline of this one goes in three directions. The first major event is Captain Skull's horse being stolen by a Comanche warrior who wants to present it to Ahumado (a dangerous man who likes to torture people). He then follows and learns the ways of a tracker. That tracker splits and doesn't come back before Skull reaches Ahumado. The second plotline is finding Captain Skull, who is now being tortured and kept by Ahumado. This prevents the rangers from effectively protecting the community from the third plotline of this book - the Comanche Raid that went across the west with reckless abandon (a last hurrah, if you will, for the Comanche who were fewer and fewer). Many subplots come up in between. I'll let you explore those. 

Courtesy of Zavvi

Lonesome Dove (mid-late 1870s)features Captains McCrae and Call running a ranch and taking cattle to Montana (from Texas) on a whim. That is the first plotline. The other plotline is Loreta (a prostitute) going west with Jake Spoon and getting taken by a long-time enemy of the Captains (Blue Duck) and rescued. This derails their cattle for only a brief while. The third plotline is the journey of July Johnson, who is going after Jake Spoon and trying to find his runaway wife (who is pregnant in secret and leaves the baby with another woman). All these plots cross like nobody's business the whole book. Again, subplots abound. 

Streets of Laredo (1890s) is the last book in the chronological series. I hate to inform you, but only Captain Call is alive by the end of the previous book. Call is now hunting bandits for the railroad, this time a Joey Garza who is infamous for being dangerous. That is our main plotline. The next one is the hunt for a man thought dead, Mox Mox the manburner, who does what his name suggests and targets children. Call ends up going after him, too. The third plot is Maria, mother of Joey Garza, doing her best to help her son who hates her guts. It was predicted she'd die at her son's hands. It comes true and her children go home with the remaining expedition members (Pea Eye Parker, Captain Call, and Loreta Parker). Call has one arm and one leg by the end of the book. Garza does die, but not at Call's hands. Call's career is dead. 

Something To Note

I will say this down here, in case you haven't noticed the content is not your kids' bedtime story. I would recommend this book for high school age or above. I truly think this shouldn't be in a young child's hands, and for more reasons than suicides, gore, torture, and death. I think a young child will not understand the books. I think you have to understand what is going on and be able to know what sex is to truly enjoy the plots of these books. They are not shy about sex. They don't censor. They are not in the kid's section of your library. I will admit that several paragraphs made me glad I wasn't eating lunch at that moment. 

That being said, I highly suggest reading this series. I love it. I don't expect everyone to have the same taste that I do, but I love it. I give all of them five stars. The characters grow throughout the books, which is great because static characters wouldn't work here. Our two main characters are especially great to follow, given their banter and friendship. By the end, you also see what became of several other characters in past books. I suggest reading them in chronological order to truly see all their character growth and every side character's growth. Some of them die in the course of the series or live only one or two books. I'm sad to say that Gus McCrae lives through three of the four books. 

Courtesy of myfavoritewesterns.com

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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have 5 five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page. 

Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.

Hogwarts Legacy - How to get a good start

I now own Hogwarts Legacy! Hooray! Now I have some tips from the internet to learn from and share with you. Today I'm looking up what others before me learned firsthand. 

Courtesy of Windows Central

Basically, I'm going into suggestions. These are what people found beneficial to their game. Do you have to do this? No, but if you do you'll be better equipped to enjoy Hogwarts fully. Without further adieu, I'm jumping right into it. 

Just Starting Out

It is highly suggested you don't explore outside Hogwarts on your own until you unlock your spells from classes and get a broom. Keep to the main storyline until you have your broom for easier travel. Speaking of spells, you might want to speak with Lucan Brattleby about spell combos. It might help you out in future battles. 

While you are running around getting your bearings, unlock all those floo flames for fast travel. That field guide is also great. Get that early XP by finding pages (accio) and using revelio. 

Look at everything you can look at. Touch everything you can touch. Just like most casual games, you'll want to gather stuff and explore everything you can. I know I said wait to explore earlier, but I meant outside Hogwarts. The castle is your oyster. 

Your house does not matter. You still play the same storyline. Don't sweat what house to be. Just go with what you want. 

Start planting mellowsweet seeds early. You need it for Merlin Trials. Merlin trials boost your inventory. You should do those. You'll need the space later (as with all casual games). 

Courtesy of carman.southern.com.my

Sell unwanted gear for money. You'll need the gold later, anyway. I'm told this is how to easily make money early in the game. Speaking of gold, you need 600 gold for a broom early on. 

It is better to make potions and gather the resources than buy them. Use the room of requirement for that. Build as many potting stations and potion stations as you can in that room, 7 is a good guideline for how many. You'll need moonstone and the schematic for gold. 

Moonstone refiners should be built in your room of requirement. If you start as soon as you can you'll never run out of moonstone. You need it to build stuff. Unlock the room of requirement with Prof. Weasley as soon as you can. You'll need it. It can also upgrade your gear (blue and up and can be upgraded).

Sebastian Sallow isn't an evil wizard. He is a complex character with cool quests. While I'm not keen on learning curses, his quests are apparently cool. Speaking of side quests, they don't go away if you want to smash through the main quests first. 

Stuck? Spam revelio. It'll reveal anything of note in the room or area. You'll need that all the time. It reveals loot, too. Don't know what to do? Check the owl post. Sometimes you need to read a letter to further the story. 

There is a way to pass time in this game. You can use it when you need a certain time of day to do a quest. It doesn't work while on a broom, though. 

Generally Useful

Take your time exploring. There is a lot to see. You'll find a lot of useful stuff out in the wild. 

Money low? Open the eye chests. You'll need the invisibility spell first. They contain 500 coins each. 

Resources respawn in 3 game days, so if you need more of something, even in the greenhouse, wait 3 game days. Beasts respawn after a few days. 

Allies will sprint if you sprint or light the darkness with you. Keep this in mind during story missions. 

 Courtesy of veryaligaming.com

Animals (no, I don't know their actual names, so please excuse my descriptions) on symbol doors relate to the same numbers. Three animals add up to the number in the center. Cheat sheet for you (starting at 0 and ending at 9): owl with long mustache, unicorn, goat, 3 head hydra, owl on branch, 5 limbed circle, salamander, 4 limbed squid-thing, spider, 9 tentacle monster 

When nabsacking beasts, cast accio and arresto momentum before targeting them. You can put them in a vivarium and breed them, too. Or sell them for money (120 gold each). 

You can't change talents once chosen. You are stuck with it all game long. Be thoughtful. You have 35 points to acquire and that's all. Also, going to the core talent tree and grabbing spell sets (one or two) is useful for later. 

Combat

Pay attention to color! Yellow shields need control spells to break, for example. Put a spell of each type in your spell wheel to prepare for this. 

Stealth is a talent you'll want. Also, you'll want the talent that freezes multiple enemies while doing a stealth takedown. 

Your ancient magic capacity is upgraded by completing ancient magic hotspots. They are easier than Merlin Trials, but you'll have to search via broomstick. The combat arena (NE corner of the map) will give you more XP, as well. 

Depulso is great for sending enemies off ledges. It instantly kills to send someone off a ledge. Keep this in mind. Expelliarmus and ancient magic throw together deal extra damage. 

Trolls and rangers throw stuff and you can throw it back. Leviosa on a giant frog exposes its weak point. Descendo while a spider is digging helps you fight spiders. The collections tab will show you the weaknesses of creatures. 

Do you need protego all the time? No, you need to roll (dodge). Protego is useful against yellow threats, but not red. 

Optional Stuff

Want to learn dark arts? You have to do Sebastian Sallow's quests and agree in text conversation to learn it. Otherwise, you can't. You lose that option if you refuse during that quest. 

Companion quests can alter the storyline, somewhat, and give you support in quests you'd normally do alone. Consider doing companion quests. 

 Courtesy of hitc.com

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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have 5 five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page. 

Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.

Sources:

Things to Do First in Hogwarts Legacy - Hogwarts Legacy Guide - IGN

Hogwarts Legacy: 26 Tips I Wish I Knew Before Playing | Beginner Guide - Gameranx

Ten Things I Wish I Knew Before Starting Hogwarts Legacy | EarlyGame

Beginner Hogwarts Legacy tips you need to know before playing - Video Games on Sports Illustrated

10 Things You NEED To Know Before Playing Hogwarts Legacy - Nerd Lodge

15 Essential Tips for Hogwarts Legacy | DiamondLobby

Self-Coddling vs Self-Care

Do you know the difference between self-coddling and self-care? Let's look at this together. 

Self-care is caring for yourself. Self-coddling is the act of excessively pampering yourself to the point of avoidance (of challenges) or indulgence. Self-love is a term people throw around like confetti. Let's see if it is actually what you think it is. 

First, I'm outlining the signs of Self-coddling, then going into what self-care and self-love truly are. 

Self Coddling

The signs of self-coddling include only doing what is comfortable, downplaying or refusing to acknowledge flaws, thinking you are not able to do something due to low self-esteem, being entitled, and only doing what is relaxing. Some of this is created by parenting styles (like helicopter parents) and removing every obstacle from a child's path. A quick note to parents, let your kids learn to do things on their own. By removing any challenges from the child's path you will teach them they can't handle it on their own and affect their self-esteem. Helicopter parents who give their children everything they ever want all the time create entitled adults, which is something our society and many Youtubers make fun of. It isn't cute. 

Self-coddling also goes under selfishness. Me! Me! Me! Entitlement (I did a whole post on this alone in 2023) is not good. Parents can nurture this awful trait in their kids by presenting everything on a silver platter. Read my link in this paragraph for the whole infodump on entitlement. Parents can also model bad behavior in front of kids. 

Care vs coddling is the difference between sleeping to avoid responsibility and sleeping for health, or creating healthy boundaries or just saying "no" to everything. The difference is simply whether you are the center of your universe or not. Everyone is linked together. Entitlement ignores those links entirely. 

What people think self-care is includes the following: spending lots of money, binge-watching, binge-eating, instant gratification activities, luxury vacations, alcohol and drugs, and perfecting by any means necessary. None of these are actually self-care. There is no harm in two of these (binge-watching and luxury vacations) every once in a while, but some of these over time are bad ideas. I'm not saying you can't go on vacation or binge-watch your favorite shows and movies, but I am saying binge-eating, drugs, alcohol, and only instant gratification activities will be bad ideas over time. 

Instant gratification is too prevalent in our society. I think it needs to leave mobile gaming in particular. It makes people throw money at a game to play more of it. This scam is one of the worst and can ruin someone without the maturity to recognize this is wrong. The players who won't throw money at a game are less likely to be kids or addicts. What kids learn when someone throws money at a problem and it goes away is far worse than the mobile games scam, though. People who are taught they can do anything and get away with it because they are rich get away with far too much. These individuals become dangerous. 

Courtesy of helpfulprofessor.com

Coddling is essentially overprotection. Many people unknowingly coddle emotions. Coddlers often edit their responses to not upset others, take on unnecessary stress to lighten loads, view someone as fragile, deny or avoid difficult conversations, experience growing resentment that goes unaddressed, and say nothing - then complain to someone later on. Coddlers protect the feelings of others rather than be honest. A considerate listener should be honest. 

A coddler is so focused on not hurting someone they don't say anything. Do you see yourself here? Just be aware of it. You are allowed to say what you feel, respectfully and kindly. Society taught us to coddle and I'm well aware that many of us do this without thinking about it. What isn't okay is rudely saying your thoughts. Respectfully and clearly speaking your mind is the best way. It isn't always pretty, but at least if you say it kindly and respectfully you are not blowing up on someone. You can converse and discuss from there if the person is open to it. People who tend to people-please will fall into the coddler hole easily. If someone can't handle any honest feedback you should not be pursuing a friendship with them. You are not responsible for their response (again, respect and kindness). You can only control yourself.

Emotional coddling will hinder someone from knowing what a real, honest relationship is. They could develop anxiety because they are so used to being protected. Entitlement then enters the picture and produces ugly results. Again, we find that doing something for someone teaches them they can't do it (low self-esteem). Boundaries are later not respected and can confuse this individual later on. Coddling in any form creates a person who can't stand on their own. This is dangerous to that individual. Let someone experience their emotions. Let them try stuff on their own. You need to stand on your own in this present society or you'll be controlled by someone else. 

Self-love and Self-care

Facing challenges in life is the reality of life on earth. We need to be able to face these on our own and learn that failure isn't the end of the world. Sometimes this means self-love is doing what is hard. Face those challenges and try to do new things in the world. Just because you might fail isn't a reason to not do it. 

If you can step back and look at your physical, mental, and emotional needs you probably understand self-care. It is bettering yourself and facing flaws, fixing what needs to be fixed. Maybe going to therapy and learning new skills to help you become more. According to The Human Being Project women gravitate toward self-care and men go toward self-help. 

I'm including self-help in this because my sources often reference it in comparison to self-care. Men may tend toward self-help. Self-help requires guidance from outside sources, while self-care is taking care of your whole being. Men are taught by society to not ask for help and to take control of a situation. Setting goals, bettering yourself, and learning new skills get the term "self-help", but still go under self-care.

Women are taught to tap into emotions, while men are societally taught to not be emotional. This means women gravitate to self-care. It helps many women deal with stress in their daily lives, as women tend to put others first (especially moms). Men being taught not to deal with emotions, I believe, is something that is inherently wrong and should be fixed. Men have emotions, too. They need the ability to ask for help and talk about their emotions. Society's standard that only women can be emotional needs to fly out the window and land in the garbage can. 

In terms of self-help and self-care, they are the same according to MrDepression.com. The Human Being Project put them in two categories and said we need a balance of both by doing the following: making time for fun things, setting goals and working toward them, allowing rest, focusing on accomplishments, celebrating victories, connecting with people, and caring for your physical health. Neither source is wrong. 

Self-care is caring for your body and your mind. This sums up everything in this section quite beautifully. Showering is self-care. Journaling is self-care. Even making yourself eat lunch before work is self-care. 

Ways to exercise self-care

We have several categories here. Physical, mental, relationships, and spiritual. Spiritual is referring to anyone with a faith (Christianity, in my case). 

Physical care is not to be disregarded. Take care of the body God gave you. Shower, eat well, drink water, exercise, and sleep. If you need a doctor, go to one. Your brain and body are connected. Don't neglect your body. If it needs rest you'll get sick and be forced to rest. 

Mental care means taking time to do what brings you joy, managing stress, stimulating your brain with new skills and puzzles, and generally doing what you enjoy. When you take the time to mentally rest you give yourself time to breathe. This is vital if you work with people and deal with people. Since we all deal with people, this is vital to everyone. 

Courtesy of reddit.com

Relationships are a need. You may think it isn't, but think again. The pandemic lockdown of 2020 took its toll on lots of people - me included. Introverts and extroverts need human contact. We were created for it. Connecting to your community and going out with friends is self-care. Volunteering is even a way to meet this need. Your family is there for a reason (unless they are toxic). Toxic humans are classified as abusive humans (emotional, physical, financial...) so if a person only irks you they are not toxic. If someone is harmful to you please don't seek them out. 

Spiritual, in my case, is regularly praying and reading the Bible. I am a Christian. Spiritual self-care is also connecting with a community in this scenario. I work at the church I attend. (For personal safety, I won't be revealing the church name here.) I enjoy the people I study the Bible with. I firmly believe that Jesus died for our sins and that He (Jesus) cares for me. I'm not going to force you to believe this. I am simply illustrating what spiritual care looks like for me. It is hard to explain this concept of spiritual care to others. 

All of the above has the possible effects of reduced stress levels, higher self-esteem, and (it depends on where you are) a feeling of belonging. Long term you can manage chronic conditions, prevent illness, reduce stress, have healthy relationships, have a good work-life balance, reduce burnout, and have an improved quality of life. 

A Word To Parents

I thought it'd be a good idea to put some signs you are coddling your kids down here. I'm not saying every parent coddles. In case you were concerned that you were, here they are. One of these will drive your child farther from you than you ever thought possible later in life. 

If you intervene before the child can solve it themselves you are coddling. I understand why you want to shield your child from all harm. You love them. I know. But what this leads to is your child never learning to solve a problem themselves. You cripple them in problem-solving abilities. They will be asking you questions they could answer themselves for as long you coddle them. This'll get annoying fast.

If you do everything for them, you are coddling. If all they have to do is stand there and you clean their room or their mess they never learn to take care of themselves. Independence and responsibility are vital to adult life. Catering to every whim leads to entitlement. This is harmful going into adulthood. 

If you micromanage activities and friendships you are coddling. They need to make decisions on their own. Furthermore, you will find they move out as quickly as they can and they will not like you. Stop! This is control and not love. Let them make mistakes. The parents who do this lose contact with their kids in most cases - because their kids cut them off. 

If you discourage your kids from doing what makes you uncomfortable you are coddling. Your child branching out in interests is not the end of the world. Do your research if you are concerned. In the unlikely event that they would legitimately be trying to join a cult or do something harmful, you should do something. But aside from the unlikely events of cults and meeting up with serial killers in parks, you should support them if they want to play baseball instead of soccer or have an interest in acting instead of other degrees. They are their own person. Let them try out new things. 

If you go overboard to protect or console them when they get hurt you are coddling. Kids need to bounce back. Don't introduce new fears into them. Unless they could literally die by doing something, it is okay to let them fall down on their butt every once in a while. Again, keep them from deadly equipment and raging currents in rivers, but do understand that bouncing back is a skill all people need. Equip them to know everyone gets hurt. It's not the end of the world. 

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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have 5 five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page. 

Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.

Sources:

5 Signs You’re “Self-Coddling”, NOT Self-Love – MrDepression.com

Self-Care Vs Self-Help: Why The Difference Matters (thehumanbeingproject.blog)

Understanding Selfishness Vs. Self-Care | First Step Recovery & Travco Behavioral Health (wecaremoreohio.com)

What Is Self-Care and Why is It Important? (verywellhealth.com)

Connect, Don’t Coddle — Why We Need to Allow People to Have Their Own Emotions — Roots Relational Therapy

5 Signs You’re Coddling Your Kid | Thriveworks

Good books that are a bit odd

Some books you read are not quite the normal fare you expect them to be. For instance, Lemony Snicket leaves you with more questions than answers, expecting an audience can put two and two together to get four. Today I have some suggestions for books that are odd, but excellent. 

Courtesy of Wordpress.com

I'm going to start with books I have read and can fully endorse. The next section is a list of books that the internet highly praised as odd, but good. If you read those books in the second section please sound off in the comments so I have an idea of how good they are. 

Fully Endorsed

Shepherd of the Hills by Harold Bell Wright

This book starts out with a man being hired in the mountain country to be a shepherd. The mountain folk are usually odd. This book also involves what might be a ghost? It is a bit weird. This is also a movie, but I'm only discussing the book plot. They are different. All through the book a mentally ill child (the child of a woman who died giving birth) keeps saying he can hear his mother's voice in the valley. The man we follow seems to spend lots of time with this kid. That's where I'll stop and let you pick up this book. It has plot twists I won't spoil. Read it and you'll understand why it is here on this list. 

Where The Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens

This one is about a girl who grows up alone in the swamp area and then gets suspected of murder. It goes back and forth between her growing-up years and the present investigation. It has a twist ending. If you want to cry or be upset, pick up this book. You feel the loneliness reach out of the pages to grab you. I call it a bit odd because of how it is written (past and present and repeat) and the way the girl in the story grows up. 

Be warned, this book includes abuse, rape, and sex. Not something to read to the kids. This also includes child neglect. I wanted to call Child Protective Services every time I read about her upbringing. You'll cry. I promise. 

Courtesy of Pinterest

Anything by Lemony Snicket

I think Lemony Snicket hits a specific niche of people, a very specific fan club. My best friend is not into his work, but I love it. He has a kids' book written about a lump of coal finding an artist on Christmas. A Series of Unfortunate Events is anything but normal. It takes a unique sense of humor to find someone not able to describe the dark and instead put a page of black ink as the description. Or to describe reading the same line over and over as writing the same line over and over. All the Wrong Questions (the series) links to Unfortunate Events as a prequel. Both leave more questions than answers. And the author refuses to answer them. Find an event where he speaks and you'll see this plainly. 

I love this series because of its quirky sense of humor. It is also a bit dark for children's fiction in some people's eyes. Some don't like the aspect of it that includes the abuse of the orphans in Unfortunate Events. That is okay. They don't have to read it if they don't want to. All ages can enjoy it, as long as they have a darker sense of humor. 

Suggested By The Internet

I cannot fully endorse these suggestions because I didn't read them. I know they are considered a bit odd by the internet at large, yet also considered worth reading. The books below are what many people said were odd but good. Let me know in the comments if I should consider picking them up. If any of these interest you your library, a bookstore, or your ebook app of choice probably have them. These are all books I've heard of. 

American Gods by Neil Gaiman 

I found a plot summary from Litcharts.com to explain this one. I know this is a TV show. I don't know if the novel matches the TV show or not. I didn't copy the entire plot here, just in case the plot twists are spoilers. 

Courtesy of Female First

"The novel starts as a man named Shadow Moon is getting ready for his release from prison, after three years inside. Shadow has spent his time practicing coin tricks and reading a copy of Herodotus’s Histories borrowed from his cellmate Low Key Lyesmith. Two days before he is supposed to be allowed to go back to his beloved wife Laura, Shadow finds out that his wife has died in a car accident. He is released early and catches a plane back to his home in Eagle Point, Indiana so that he can attend the memorial. On the plane, Shadow falls asleep and has a strange dream about a man with a buffalo head who tells him to believe “everything.” When he wakes, he meets a strange man who calls himself Mr. Wednesday and offers Shadow a job. Shadow refuses, then gets off the plane early to avoid talking to Mr. Wednesday any more."

Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs

Once again, I am leaving it up to someone else to describe this book because I have never read it. I know about some of it from friends. I know it has some creepy pictures in it. I know there are strange children. Other than that, I'll leave it to Amazon to tell you the plot. 

"A mysterious island. An abandoned orphanage. A strange collection of very curious photographs. It all waits to be discovered in Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, an unforgettable novel that mixes fiction and photography in a thrilling reading experience. As our story opens, a horrific family tragedy sets sixteen-year-old Jacob journeying to a remote island off the coast of Wales, where he discovers the crumbling ruins of Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. As Jacob explores its abandoned bedrooms and hallways, it becomes clear that the children were more than just peculiar. They may have been dangerous. They may have been quarantined on a deserted island for good reason. And somehow—impossible though it seems—they may still be alive. 

A spine-tingling fantasy illustrated with haunting vintage photography, Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children will delight adults, teens, and anyone who relishes an adventure in the shadows."

Welcome to Night Vale 

I once saw a theatre friend of mine wearing a shirt or some kind of merch from this podcast, which is also a book series. He didn't explain it at all. Today I'm giving the floor to Amazon, once again, to explain the plot. 

"Welcome to Night Vale . . . a friendly desert community somewhere in the American Southwest. In this ordinary little town where ghosts, angels, aliens, and government conspiracies are commonplace parts of everyday life, the lives of two women, with two mysteries, are about to converge.

Pawnshop proprietor Jackie Fierro abides by routine. But a crack appears in the standard order of her perpetually nineteen-year-old life when a mysterious man in a tan jacket gives her a slip of paper marked by two pencil-smudged words: KING CITY. Everything about the man unsettles her, especially the paper that she cannot remove from her hand. Yet when Jackie puts her life on hold to search for the man, no one who meets him can seem to remember anything about him.

Diane Crayton’s fifteen-year-old son, Josh, is moody and a shape-shifter. Lately, Diane has started to see the boy’s father everywhere she goes, looking the same as he did the day he left when they were teenagers. Josh is growing ever more curious about his estranged father—leading to a disaster Diane can see coming but is helpless to prevent.

Diane’s search to reconnect with her son and Jackie’s search to reclaim her routine life draw them increasingly closer to each other, and to this place that may hold the key to their mysteries and their futures . . . if they can ever find it."

Good Omens By Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

Courtesy of david-tennant.co.uk

Okay, I'll admit that even I know this one. This is a book featuring an angel and a demon who are trying to stop the end of the world. This is a TV show many have loved and suggested. Given the book and TV show may differ in some respects, I still found a plot to copy, this time from supersummary.com. This is only some of the plot. I'll let you look further into it if you are interested. 

"Aziraphale, an angel, and Crowley, a demon—adversaries since the Great Fall from the Garden of Eden—have been living on Earth and attempting to steer humanity’s moral course. In those many millennia, however, they have grown fond of life among the humans and developed a tenuous friendship with each other. One day, Crowley receives a delivery from two fellow demons: a basket containing the infant Antichrist, who will gain access to his full powers when he turns 11 and trigger Armageddon. Crowley is charged with overseeing his placement with the American Cultural Attaché, Thaddeus Dowling. Due to a mix up at the hospital, however, the Antichrist, Adam, ends up with the Young family in the fictional village of Lower Tadfield, Oxfordshire, England."

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

A booktuber I know read this one and loved it. It was a thick book, though, so keep that in mind. I am yielding the floor to goodreads.com to explain the plot. It was a novel of whimsy and atmosphere, if I remember correctly. 

"The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not. Within the black-and-white striped canvas tents is an utterly unique experience full of breathtaking amazements. It is called Le Cirque des Rêves, and it is only open at night.

But behind the scenes, a fierce competition is underway—a duel between two young magicians, Celia and Marco, who have been trained since childhood expressly for this purpose by their mercurial instructors. Unbeknownst to them, this is a game in which only one can be left standing, and the circus is but the stage for a remarkable battle of imagination and will. Despite themselves, however, Celia and Marco tumble headfirst into love—a deep, magical love that makes the lights flicker and the room grow warm whenever they so much as brush hands.

True love or not, the game must play out, and the fates of everyone involved, from the cast of extraordinary circus performers to the patrons, hang in the balance, suspended as precariously as the daring acrobats overhead.

Written in rich, seductive prose, this spell-casting novel is a feast for the senses and the heart."

Conclusion

And with that, I leave you to contemplate what goes on your next book shopping list. I know some of these are not everyone's cup of tea. If you are interested in any of these novels, I'll let you peruse the link list below. I am leaving the Amazon listings in those links for anyone who wants to support these authors. 

The Night Circus

Good Omens

Welcome To Night Vale

Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children

American Gods

Shepherd Of The Hills

Where The Crawdads Sing

A Series Of Unfortunate Events

https://www.shortform.com/best-books/genre/best-weird-books-of-all-time

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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have four five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page. 

Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.