Monday, June 12, 2023

toxic traits encouraged by romance novels


Bad romance, indeed. Let's talk about what some romance novels tell you is romantic, but shouldn't be. 

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Today it has come to my attention that our romance novels tell us toxic behavior should be a turn-on - not all, though (just some). When I plugged "toxic traits in romance novels" into Google it immediately brought up the Young Adult (YA) genre. It's hardly surprising, with Twilight being YA, but I'm also going to talk about the books spawned from it (Fifty Shades of Grey and 365 Days). There are also erotica novels that just drip with toxic relationships. You already know it is going to be particularly bad when you pick it up. 

We also need to make a distinction between erotica and romance novels. Erotica's point is arousal. Romance novels focus on a relationship between two people. Now that we've established that, we'll move on. The main difference is usually one has a plot (romance) and the other is unapologetic sex on a page (erotica). 

Why This Is A Problem

It depends on entirely on why you pick up the romance novel and your age. To be clear, I do not read erotica but do enjoy well-written romance novels with good plots. Without it, I abandon the novel faster than Bella should be abandoning Edward. Young women's minds (especially when younger than high school) are shaped by what they read. If the example is an abusive relationship romanticized to be normal we're all in trouble. Young women chase what they find romantic. Adults picking up novels should know the difference between abusive and loving relationships (sadly, some don't). Some adults are also porn-addicted. Picking up a novel for entertainment vs picking it up to get off on it is a bold italic difference. Young men also figure out what is normal through books; The fact is most women pick up romances instead of men. 

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As for why bad romances get read, erotica is a great example of why bad romances with no plot and lots of sex sell. People get off on the stuff. It is porn in words. Some people call it women's porn. Erotica is porn for sure, but I guarantee some author is making money on bad writing. The stuff shouldn't be out there. Fifty Shades of Grey is bad for you and horribly written. It shouldn't have made it past the editing process. 

Sex in fiction has a place. I've talked about this before. One sex scene (less is more is a good rule) does not make something erotic. Read Larry McMurtry's Lonesome Dove series for sex scenes that are the most unromanticized I've ever seen. It may be part of the plot. When a badly written sex scene is thrown in at 70 percent through the book (murdering the plot in the process) and it lasts 12 pages the book becomes dumpster fire trash in my eyes. If it feeds directly into the plot itself (like in the Lonesome Dove series or Bridgerton) I'll keep reading. That is the key difference. Don't throw sex into a book without actually tying it into the plot or readers like me won't finish it. Also, Lonesome Dove is not a romance novel; it is about the Texas Rangers and the old west's unique rules. Not every book with sex is a romance novel. 

Romanticized Abuse

Abuse romanticized into an ideal relationship is not good. We should not be striving to be Joker and Harlequin, ladies and gents. We shouldn't want to be like Bella and Edward. Or Anastasia and Christian Grey. Let's be real about this. It's bad. If you are reading this as an example it is a horrible idea. Reading it knowing a healthy relationship from an unhealthy one is a must. Though, to be clear, Fifty Shades books are horribly written and I don't advocate reading those specific books. 

Controlling male leads are common in the YA genre and the romance genre as a whole. This comes with gaslighting, too. Another one is that love is the cure for trauma (not true, work out your issues). A rough background can get used as an excuse for horrible behavior. Fifty Shades even does this with Christian Grey. Forced sex is another abuse that gets glorified here. Stalking is another one that gets normalized in the book series You, which is a thriller genre book. Consent gets passed over sometimes in these novels. Pairing characters off - despite the fact they may have been more than okay on their own - is one trait that people forget about, as well. 

If You is any example, we are in trouble. The filmed series fooled some of the audience into thinking the main character (who is stalking someone hardcore) was romantic and charming. If the more alarming aspects of the main character weren't picked up by the audience it illustrates that we normalize some stalking and pursuing behaviors as normal. That series of books is a thriller novel - not a romance! 

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I'm going to go ahead and rag on Fifty Shades for a solid, thick paragraph. Ana is emotionally, physically, and sexually abused throughout the entire book series. Christian Grey stalks her before he even gets involved with her and makes it a point to control her life circumstances all the time. Another aspect of this is Christian's past trauma - which in no way excuses what he's done - that motivates Ana to try to fix him. She is also supposed to be purely submissive in this relationship while Christian has all the sexual power and sex he wants. Christian makes Ana dependent on him, preferring she not work and that he pay for everything because he wants total control (generosity is not his game). Ana even has to sign a contract with gives him rights to her body and time. She is his object. He buys her gifts to keep her with him, but never fixes the issues he has or acknowledges them. The video below is a theorist on Youtube talking about how Christian Grey conditioned Ana like he was a cult. For real, he totally did. Watch the video below and you'll see it clear as day. There are people who practice BDSM in the world and hate this series, calling it rape and not BDSM. 


While we're talking about abusive male leads, let's talk about Edward Cullen, who isn't quite so bad, but literally inspired Fifty Shades of Grey into existence. In case you didn't know, Fifty Shades was a Twilight Fanfic. 365 Days was written because someone felt Fifty Shades didn't go far enough. The main man for those novels makes Christian Grey look like a balanced individual. All three men have control and jealousy issues. All three stalk our main female character. Edward Cullen, vampire or not, is definitely not who you want showing up at your window watching you sleep. Romantic? No, not at all! He could kill you. 

Some books may be trying to make a social point in portraying abuse, awakening people to the realities of the situations that happen in real life. If our hero steps up and stands up for themselves you may be reading one of these books. The other side of the coin is that someone gets off on domineering over others. There are people with fetishes out there. The point is, a stance on abuse is important. Do they portray this abuse as negative or positive? It all comes down to whether they are glorifying abuse or portraying it (as in, showing what abuse is for real). 

Stalking is a hard issue online, but I do have a blog on that subject here and here. These explain what legal stalking is. The first link is also about writing research and the line between that and stalking. I'm going to dig right into the thriller series You right now. This series is the story of Joe Goldberg falling in love and killing whoever gets in his way. Before the killing, however, he stalks his love interest. What is scary is his mindset; he thinks he's doing good. He did have a hard past, but that doesn't excuse his obsession-stalking. Long story short, one expert (Mary Reiter) has talked about how it parallels college campus stalking (thelantern.com). 

Romance Tropes 

The trope of the 'bad boy' character is part of Edward Cullen's personality. This trope also shows up in Grease and countless other movies and TV shows. This isn't just a book problem. The problem with this trope is this; a gentle girl ends up with a toxic guy. In this case, I'm not just ragging on Edward and Christian Grey. Character development sometimes comes at the cost of the female character. He's almost always dangerous with a checkered past. Often they are attractive (which somehow makes up for the bad situation?). The good girl he gets paired with feels she can fix him - a lie if I've ever heard one. In Grease Sandy changes herself, not the other way around. When this is portrayed as "cool" to men, it damages more than women. Men are taught this is how you act and women get taught that this is a healthy relationship. Damage all around. 

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Abduction to love is here, too. 365 Days fits neatly into this. The main man kidnaps a girl for 365 days so she might love him. And then there's butt stuff and lots of sex. I watched a review of it by Amanda the Jedi. Don't, just don't. The review was enough. 

The parasitic relationship of "all take and no give" is the idea that one character reaps all the benefits and another gets nothing. One person gets drained of life force. I can think of one nonromantic relationship where this is true; Rapunzel and Mother Gothel portray exactly what this is. Add a romantic element to this concept and it can get scary. 

"Clingy partners" is a trope that should die. Constant jealousy is not good for any relationship. Unless you portray this as negative in context, it shouldn't be in our media - especially not for young men and women! Jealous partners don't make for a fun time. Any friendships you have may or may not die if you stay with this person.

Lying is a bad one, particularly if they lied about protection in bed. Also, cheating partners can go under this umbrella. Anyone lying to your face is not your friend and shouldn't be a lover/boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse to you. Deception glorified is not right. Please, let's not put this under the heading of "normal". 

Abusers in general are not to be glorified in fiction. Read that again. Abusers with fetishes are even worse. Cough cough, Christian Grey, cough cough! If you could take away their wealth and gifts and it looks like an episode of Criminal Minds you've found a bad-boy-rich-abuser romance. It's abuse. The "love martyr" trope feeds right into this by having a character stay with an abuser. 
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"I can fix him" is the last thing you should be teaching young women. I say young women because it gets aimed at women primarily. Men are taught they don't have to change by the "bad boy" standard. Women are taught they can make him change by their behavior. Your behavior is your responsibility. Take responsibility, ladies and gents. Teach your kids they can't fix someone. Please end this trope. 

Bullying someone you are in love with is not how you show your affection. This trope is done by many books and movies, too many to count. Pulling pigtails in the classroom shouldn't be cute. Stop this when they are young. Don't glorify this in fiction. We need more ladies and gentlemen out there. 

Loving an idealized version of someone is potentially dangerous. It leads to blind love, then creates a relationship off-kilter from reality. People shouldn't be idealizing real people. Yet, this trope lives on, creating more problems. It even feeds back into the abuser trope and love martyr trope. 

Stalking to love is a bad situation. This is someone stalking one person and the victim finding it romantic. Bella does exactly this in Twilight. Edward literally watches her sleep through her window. No, just no. We don't need to teach young adults this is acceptable. 

I could say more, but I'll just let you browse the index: TV Tropes - Dysfunctional Romance

Conclusions

After all those toxic tropes, I'll bet you're questioning all the YA books you've read in your junior high years. I can't tell you how important it is that we teach our YA audience that abuse is not okay. This doesn't mean we stop portraying it; it just means that we take a negative stance on it. Writers portray reality, so it shouldn't be a wonder that it'll still show up. Let's think about the romances we absorb in our day-to-day reading. Let's read with our brains turned on. 


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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have two five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page.





Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.













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Monday, June 5, 2023

How To Make Introverts Like You

Are there introverts in your life? 50 percent of us are introverts. Yet, the world (though it has changed slightly since Covid) seems to accommodate extroverts more. If you want introverted friends to feel comfortable around you I'm going to share these extra tips. 

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Introverts have adjusted to an extrovert-focused world since their childhood. The world doesn't adjust to us introverts very often. They tell us to "come out of our shell" and "be sociable" instead of making us comfortable enough to speak. This, of course, depends entirely on your environment. Some places make extroverts uncomfortable, but not many do. 

Today I'm going to show you and tell you how to make your introverted friend speak to you more, and you can do this by making them comfortable. The world may be a broken place, yet you can make an introverted soul's day. Ready? 

Time and Energy

The way I schedule my week is unique. I don't pack in as much as I can (unless it is hobby stuff) because I need recharge time. Most of the time I am either at home, at work, or on an outing with friends. A key feature of respecting an introvert is respecting their time, which you can do by planning your social events a week or so ahead. By scheduling our social calendar this way we can make sure we have the social energy saved up. Having that energy can make that social outing that much better and more fun. 

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Speaking of time, we need time to process our thoughts and respond. If you don't allow a pause here and there, you might not hear our thoughts. We could be bursting with ideas. In large groups where extroverts tend to dominate the conversation without allowing brief pauses, we'll almost never get the opportunity to jump in and speak without the help of an advocate who says "she/he has something to add". Be that advocate or pause to allow us space to hop in. We take a bit to formulate the correct words, thus we sometimes can't share thoughts in large group settings well; by the time we know how to word our ideas the ship has sailed and everyone else is onto the next topic. Maybe it would help to actively ask us what we think before moving on to the next point of interest. 

How To Get Us Actively Talking

The first thing you need to do is stop the small talk. Give us a topic we can really chew on, like the mysteries of the universe or why people behave the way they do. My blog is essentially me trying to chew on the mysteries of the universe. Ask us how our passion projects are coming along. Ask us about our favorite book or the book we're currently reading, then clear out some time to listen. If you start me talking about books you'll be here for a while. Lonesome Dove and Comanche Moon? Pull up a chair and you'll be here forever. Bottom line, find the passion point and go from there. This works on everyone, by the way, so try it on extroverts and introverts alike. 

Give us your full attention and we'll love you. We frequently get interrupted, cut off, or told to get to the point. Do you want us to talk or don't you? One-on-one conversations are perfect because we can say what we need to say without the risk of someone butting in with an anecdote and not being able to finish our full thought. Even if it isn't a one-on-one situation, small groups are the second-best situation. The less interruptive voices we have in the room, the more we speak. When we feel like we matter and you are listening we speak up. When we feel no one is listening we don't speak up. Again, basic human psychology says we need to feel we are heard if you want us to speak. Allow us that space by doing the above paragraph's suggestion and giving us your full attention. The loudest voice in the room is not always the most important. 

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You may need to make this first step. We don't always know how to start the conversation; we just know that we can keep it going if it isn't small talk. Say hello to us and gauge whether we look like we want to converse at length or no. If we look busy, overwhelmed, stressed, or generally barely vocalize our hello (wave and keep going) let us be. When we're in a chatty mood we'll probably ask how you are doing. Don't be afraid to say hello and test the waters. 

Do you want our opinion? Give us a beat before you demand our thoughts. We need to process our thoughts before giving you our full, thought-out responses. Spotlighting us on "what do you think about this?" is not helpful. Give us a warning so we know what to think about. We rehearse our words in our head and in our cars. We're not impromptu on speaking. I love theatre because I like scripted, predictable social interactions. Real life doesn't give us a script. Let us consult our internal rehearsal process before asking what we think about something super important. We risk looking ill-prepared because our ideas and our verbal words don't perfectly connect when under pressure.

Party Time

Sometimes, when I'm at a party, I'm kind of like Scott Pilgrim. I stand awkwardly and decide whether to find the dog and cat at the party or seek human interaction. The only difference is that I'm not making horrible Pac-Man/Puck Man pickup lines. Don't do that. 


So, you brought your friend to the party? Great, but don't leave them alone to stand like Scott Pilgrim in the middle of the room. This is why introverts drive themselves to parties. If we know nobody that's a crime. We might leave. If you bring your friend to a party where they don't know many people, introduce them and pull out a board game. This is the perfect way to break the ice. It doesn't involve small talk. No one focuses entirely on you. 

If we are ever in a conversation we don't like, please bail us out. Friends we can trust give us escape hatches. We need those. Say what you have to say to get us out of the room or help us leave the party without offending our host or other friends. Any situation where we want to melt into the floor is the time to bail us out. Please, divert the person with us or divert us to another room. When we are so overwhelmed, but socially trapped by social rules, we need your help. 

Speaking of events, invite us but don't expect us to come to every single one. Our energy levels are not always high enough to warrant going to every party we receive an invitation for. We want to be thought of; we don't necessarily need to go to every party we see. Let us know you are thinking of us. If we love you we'll try to come to your parties and events as often as we can. Just know that we have to value you highly to be accepting nearly every invitation. From time to time we do need the social engagement. We are not meant to be hermits, nor should we be exhausted social butterflies. There is a balance to this relationship. 

Let Us Be Us

Introversion is not a disease to be cured. Yes, all of us do need the extroverted skills in our outer world, but that doesn't mean we need to keep up a pace we can't handle. Don't tell us we need to be a shark rather than a minnow because we aren't forceful and loud. Don't make us keep up a conversation that drains our social batteries. Don't force an introvert to talk to you or shove them into the spotlight in order to "get us out of our shells". The school system did that all by itself, thank you very much, so stop trying to cure us of our introspective minds and let us be us. 

We are not projects. The best thing to do is accept we are going to need to recharge after social events and we are already stimulated by our own inner world. Once you stop forcing us into uncomfortable social activities, we'll start to get comfortable around you. This is when you start to see us open our inner world to you. We spend time with people who don't exhaust us, so don't exhaust us. 

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In this way, silence is something we enjoy often. Filling that calming silence with loud conversation is the opposite of allowing us to be comfortable- if I have a book in my hand, especially. We don't always want sound. In fact, I am sensitive to loud noises. Loud talking, interruptive sounds, busy environments...I have adjusted because I have to. This means I want to be comfortable and not overwhelmed by sound. Sit with us and give us our quiet zone. We will talk when we're ready to talk. At times we are chatty and energized; other times we want the world to quiet down so we can think and process.


How To Get Close To Us

Extroverts, today is the day to learn how you approach an introvert for a friendship. Your first step is the main point of this blog. Let them get comfortable around you. This means you might wave at them from afar and linger in their environment without saying much. They should get used to you and explore this friendship as time goes on. Maybe greeting them when you see them is a good step, but maybe not much else until they approach you. 

It is vital that you pick the right environment. Coffee shop, book store, library, student lounge area while it is unpopulated... Essentially, you just make sure you aren't draining us of energy. We'll avoid the energy vampires like the plague. We're also not at our best while overwhelmed by loud places and people. 

Pay attention to what energizes us. If we look unmotivated to keep the conversation going jump into what our passions are. I already talked about this some. What energizes us are our passions and hobbies. We'll open up to you more when you feed into that. Another factor of this is our energy level. If we only have the energy to flop onto our couch and watch cartoons, we're not likely to want conversation or a party. Understand that. 

Drop small talk and jump right into the introspective and passion topics. We hear small talk and get bored quickly. A stimulating discussion will keep us there and interested. A topic as deep as a kiddie pool is going to make us want to leave the room. We love a good discussion on deep topics. You might need to get comfortable with silence. Nowadays many are not okay with silence, but I beg to differ. Don't expect a whole sentence in every response. We get wrapped up in our thoughts quite often. Listen to us fully and we'll love it. We speak to those we value, so don't cut us off or treat our words as if they aren't important. 

Text or message us, don't call. I would rather not call people and have to push myself to call about appointments. Texting allows us a way to create an eloquent response while calling doesn't give us that luxury. I am one millennial that isn't attached to the phone. As a direct result, my phone is often dead or sitting in my purse forgotten. Message us on our social media or text us.

One-on-one is what you'll want to do for conversation. We don't converse as easily in large groups of people, mostly because we get cut off far too often. Extroverts find this easy, but we don't. Conversation between two people is far easier for us because our companion is giving us their full attention (or should be). Slow down and make it meaningful. Full attention means we should feel heard. 

Do we have a reason to speak to you? That makes all the difference in the world. Give us a reason to speak with you if you want us to approach you. Give off good energy and encouragement. Use what you know about us to create a bridge between us. Engage with our hobbies, for example, and we might show you our latest creations. 

The best way to make idle conversation with us is by doing something with us. Our eye contact is not constant like an extrovert's; it is an intimate thing for us to make direct eye contact. With our eyes on our task, we will be more likely to converse. Direct eye contact feels like a stage spotlight to us. 

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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have two five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page.





Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.













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Monday, May 29, 2023

Writer's Block


Hello, fellow writers! I've hit a wall in my freewriting and did some research on how we can beat writer's block. Let's get into it. No time to lose. I have a book to freewrite. 

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We've all hit that brick wall we call writer's block and we've all gotten to a point, as writers, where our characters stopped talking to us about what they wanted to do. I am flying by the seat of my pants on the current draft I am writing. In case anyone was ever curious, I have an editing project going, a book promotion going on for the rest of eternity, and this freewriting storyline I've currently hit a brick wall on. I'm flying blind on the plotline. 

This is where I want to share what I found on the interwebs. We could all use the encouragement, fellow writers. Let's go find the secret door in our brick walls and keep writing. 

Why It Happens

I looked up more than how to beat it; I looked into why it happens. I'll go through them one by one. 

Fear is a force against us. Afraid you'll fail? Afraid you are not good enough and you have imposter syndrome? Have you been playing the comparison game? Yep, this is one way to build a brick wall. 

Catastrophizing is letting the doubts and negativity of whether you can finish it get to you. Look past those obstacles and keep making progress. You've done it before. You'll do it again (unless, of course, you are planning a murder, then don't). 

Paralysis by Analysis is a great way to do nothing. You're asking yourself where to start. This is when you should be writing out the baby steps of a big undertaking and taking it one step at a time. 

No motivation is a problem. Where is it coming from? That's what you need to find out. You may even need a staycation or some time away from the project for a bit. If you can solve why you have no motivation to do something it helps you move forward. Get past that roadblock and find the solution to your motivation.

Distracted people don't get all that much done. Right now I'm pomodoro-ing my way to finishing this blog before I have the wonderful pleasure of golf. If you have to Pomodoro yourself to get something done or you have to shut yourself in a room with no distractions you are not alone. Undistracted thoughts focus like beams, but distractions turn off creativity fast. 

Beating The Brick Wall

The techniques I found for beating this menace are here. I'm going to explain them individually. Try them all or pick your favorite. 

Backward is a good way to do things. Strange, it is. Yet, works, it does. Studies have proven this. You can do anything from brushing your teeth with your other hand to shaking up your routine and flipping it. Leonardo Da Vinci used to write backwards when he needed to do this. 


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Much like Elsa, we need to let something go sometimes. Back away from it momentarily. Go do something else you enjoy or take a walk. Invite a friend over for a movie. Read a book. Anything to get you away from what you are doing. Maybe you'll find inspiration at other places and come back with a fresh perspective. 

Speaking of taking walks, go outside and exercise. Or stay in and exercise. Move in some way and get the body moving. You need to move your legs, for one, to avoid cramping, and for another, you can reset your brain a bit. 

Be willing to look at things in a new way. Perspective changing is good for you. Talk to someone else and get a new opinion. I've done this with my brother-in-law before at the last brick wall I hit. See what others think about your idea. They may find a plothole or a loose string you can tug to keep you going. 

Notepads are amazing things to keep in your purse, laptop bag, or even your jacket pocket. Inspiration will hit you at times you aren't working on your projects. Take a quick note before your muse decides to leave you. The inspirations you find need to be written down and retained. Digital notepads and apps are also totally acceptable. Don't rely on memory. We have too much going on to keep that thought prominent in our minds. We might lose it. 

Deadlines motivate us in other places, so why not here? Set a goal and try to keep it every week. Even four paragraphs or less a week can keep your storyline moving. Even just a certain period of writing uninterrupted can be a goal. Set that deadline to keep you writing. The muse does what it wants. 

Distraction And Our World

It isn't a crime to take a weekend and just write, just you and your word document. Turn off notifications, tell people you wish to be left alone until Monday, and turn on that focus music. Maybe you spend half that time staring at a page. Or maybe you spend that time tuning into where your story and plotline are going. If you have to sit in a secluded place to be alone, do it. 

You see, our brain doesn't like task-switching. It cuts off the flow of creativity that makes doing good writing possible. Muses don't come to you at convenient times. You come to her/him/it if anything. It takes sitting in a secluded place, uninterrupted to connect with your work and dial into where it is going. Your characters may start speaking to you when you sit down at the laptop (or standing desk at a laptop) and keep your thoughts going. You may need to try pomodoro timers and other techniques, yes, but you are still trying to keep that flow going. 

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Facing a page or a storyline you don't see clearly is frustrating. Taking some one-on-one time with that page could potentially end in a new flow of thought. Take breaks as needed, though, for food, exercise, and water. After this one-on-one with your page, it might clarify why a writer's retreat is worth the time away from the world that distracts you. 

Inspiration trips and travels are also a great idea. If you need a change of scenery, go somewhere that you can enjoy alone or with a few friends (if you want to travel in packs). Solo or in a pack, you get to see some new things. Come back to your page after the trip and see what flows out of you. Journal and reflect. Social interaction is also good for perspective and new ideas. We do need people. 

Writing Prompts 

I have a whole page of them all over my Pinterest. Writing prompts are made so you can get out of creative ruts and hug your brick wall. Pick one and open a word document. I bought a book of them one day. It might get you past the brick wall. 

The more unconventional writing prompts are the best for getting past your wall. Do the most unconventional ones. For instance, put on some background music and write based on what could be happening. Pull up a picture of a random person on google images and recreate a character you can save for later. Take an idea you had in the exact opposite direction. Play with killing off or reviving a character in your narrative. Be a kid again and maybe the muse will come back to join your imaginative game. 

Freewriting is kind of freeing for me. I find my life coming to life in other characters. The best way to do this is to try not to stop typing for at least five to ten minutes. See what happens in those minutes and roll with it. Some scenes can be more easily done if you start with Dialogue and fill everything else in afterward. 

Strangely enough, acting it out verbally and changing positions when you are different character can help you create the scene you want. Be a kid again. Be Jessica Fletcher (she does that!). It is not boring. You may feel silly, but who cares? You're making up a storyline and bringing your vision to life. Exciting may be what you need for your writer's block.

If you started with an outline, revisit that outline and see if it needs changed. Look at where you character needs to be later and pick a point to start at. Start at the end and then work backwards. It might help to jump around with scenes and connect them later. 

Out of conflict? Create some drama and put more roadblocks in for your character. Maybe their ex shows up, a dead body shows up in the river, or they find information about their family that makes them upset enough to cause more drama. Block the character's path to what they want. 

Try out the perspective of other characters, while you're shaking things up. Can you add more of a character into the narrative? Do it. Can you bring a secondary character to the front of the line? Do it. Even kill a character while you're at it. Explore the world you created. Refamiliarize yourself with the world you put together. Is there a setting you can write about that is new? Did you start something and not finish it? Are there loose ends? Pull at those strings in your draft and ask critical questions. New characters, subplots, secrets, plot twists, betrayal, romance.... Play with the plotline. Pretend you are a kid playing with your dolls and action figures. 

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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have two five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page.





Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.














Sources:

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Monday, May 22, 2023

Improving Your To-Do List

I am currently promoting one book, editing one book, and free-writing (seat of my pants style) another book. On top of that, I decided making a cat couch for my grandmother's cat was a quick project (and has proven not to be), have yet to finish a counted cross stitch from before I got married, and started a huge blog project that requires me to play through every Nancy Drew game. You'll see that project debut when it debuts. No promises on when that happens. My point is this; I have to have all this in an organized list to get it all done. 

Courtesy of wereparents.com


To-do lists are ages old because humans clearly need to stay busy. Today we're talking about how to make a good, productive list or find an app that helps you do just that. We're starting with the qualities of a good to-do list and going into apps last. I think there is a lot to be said for a paper/pencil journal -especially when your electricity is not functioning or you don't charge devices as you should. This is precisely why my crochet patterns are printed or written in a notebook. Our devices eventually die, but a good journal written in pen will not be deterred. 

Master List and Many Lists Connected

Isn't it helpful to only have one list? Yes, but if you want to break down what goes into each project it helps to create a master list and maybe devote a page to each project. I know I said paper and pen are great. I also recommend Excel or a Word document on an online cloud (where it can be accessed everywhere on any device). Google Docs may be helpful here, too. Make time to do this in your schedule so you keep yourself moving on stuff. Brain dump first, though, before you organize. 

Start with the master list, then prioritize what is most important. Put that on a "first priority" list (call it what you want, I call it Tier 1). Everything else can get put in order of importance. Have three tasks you have to finish that day and go from there. If you have the energy to do more, do so, but if you don't you still cross off three tasks. Your fuel tank of productivity is only so full. Don't burn yourself out. 

Determining your top three is dependent upon what impacts your day the most, what needs to get done, and (if you get nothing else done) what will make you feel accomplished. Also, keep in mind that tasks you tend to put off might need to be in your top three. Rip off the bandaid and just do it. This works because you have a full tank of metaphorical gas in your productivity car and should take advantage of a full tank. You only have so much to give, so don't be trying to raise the Titanic in one day. 

Breaking down tasks may help you chunk tasks. Pomodoro methods could be helpful here, too. Basically, the Pomodoro method is doing a task fully for a specific period of time, rewarding yourself with something for a shorter period of time, and then repeating that. Chunking tasks will allow you to feel accomplished by doing little steps toward a bigger goal. It may be done faster if you think of it this way. Take those big monster-sized projects and make them little mini-bosses to conquer. Before you know it, you may have conquered the whole thing. 




Are some tasks not done because they hold no importance to you? Think about the tasks you are putting off on a daily basis. Why are you doing that? Let me give you an example. I need to message my editor, but I want to wait for a time with Matt - and I keep forgetting about it once Matt gets home. I keep putting off a haircut (just a trim) because it takes time and a phone call (don't like those) to set it up and go do it. I keep putting off shopping because I literally don't feel like driving to a shopping mall or store alone to shop. I'm seeing a trend in my life; I don't like calling to make appointments of any kind. I also don't shop often. The point is, there is probably a reason you don't want to go do something. Just rip off that bandaid or, if unimportant and pointless, cross it off the list entirely. 

Do you have no energy today? You can make a list for that eventuality. Do you have too much energy? Same concept. You can do a lot on some days and almost nothing on others. No matter how you feel, you did something if you pick an item and do it. You can make lists for other eventualities too, like depression, holiday schedules, and days you don't have much time. Make the lists you need and want to. Put them all in one place for you to access easily. Be it a fridge, computer, or work desk, it doesn't matter. Just make sure it isn't hard to find. You won't use what is out of sight and out of mind. It can be as short and long as you like. Everyone's brain is different. You can even schedule tasks in your week. Reflect on what does and doesn't work. 

Another method is making a column for each day of the week, separating that by a line (on graph paper, mostly likey), and writing tasks in on the other side. This puts everything on one page as opposed to many pages. You can also track tasks doing that. It's called the running task list. 

Keeping Priorities Straight

Some of you may be asking how to prioritize everything because everything is important. That starts with brain dumping, putting everything down on paper or Word document. From there you pick up the tasks that can't wait. Highest-effort tasks should be coming first, and be done one at a time. I did an entire blog on how multi-tasking is only done by computers and we switch tasks only. Find that here. Keep in mind how much time a task takes you before you try to tackle it. Attempting what isn't manageable will only damage you. 

Some things you do are daily chores/tasks. They happen every day or every week for you. Others only happen once a month (paying bills) or once a year. What is one and done, and you are avoiding it, should be at the top of the list. If you are biting a bullet or ripping off a bandaid, metaphorically, it needs to be done sooner rather than later. 

The time you take to do something is important. You can cut it really close if you think you have days to do something and then it takes days to do, and you had to rush. Take the time to figure out how long doing something takes you by timing it or logging it. For example, this blog was started at 3 pm-ish and it is now about 5 o'clock. If you know it takes you more than one hour don't make yourself do it in an hour. Give yourself realistic standards. Chunk it if you have to. A little bit a day gives you forward progress. Deadlines are real and can really bite if you don't keep on top of it. Some people need to give themselves a deadline to keep themselves going, like my husband. 

Courtesy of Filtergrade.com
One way to look at this is through a square called the Eisenhower Matrix. It separates the important from the urgent. You can clearly see in the picture I included of what this is. If it is urgent and important it is a "do", if important and not urgent "schedule it", if urgent and unimportant you "postpone", and if it is not on both counts on the square you just don't do it. 


Another method is the ABCDE method, which has you giving tasks letters and numbers. A at highest and E at lowest, you give your tasks a letter, then a number of what order you'd do it in. You'll get tasks D2 and A3 and such by the end, which gives you an order to put it in. 




Apps That Can Help

I don't want to go too long on this, so I'm just going to leave you to explore these apps. Apps on this list are all highly suggested in a best apps article. Some of these are really fun, like Habitica (which makes your tasks like quests). Look them up as you wish to, and I'll give you the articles to look at here: 8 best to do list apps of 2023 | Zapier and here: 8 To-Do List Apps To Help You Get Organized - CNET 

Todoist
TickTick
Microsoft To Do
Things
OmniFocus
Habitica
Google Tasks
Any.do
Google Keep
Apple Notes
Apple Reminders
Notion
PenBook


Oh, and no, I can't forget a wrote a book, especially now that I'm more than halfway to my first goal of selling 50 books. I have sold 34 books as of this weekend. 

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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have two five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page.





Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.






















Sources:

journal - https://bulletjournal.com/blogs/bulletjournalist/how-to-craft-a-better-to-do-list

https://diaryofajournalplanner.com/bullet-journal-to-do-list/

https://rediscoveranalog.com/bullet-journal-weekly-log-running-list/

https://www.teamwork.com/blog/how-to-prioritize-tasks/

https://www.wework.com/ideas/professional-development/creativity-culture/how-to-prioritize-tasks

https://www.lifehack.org/858070/how-to-prioritize


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Monday, May 15, 2023

Dangerous or harmless?

 While women seem to encounter uncomfortable situations more often than men, women can be dangerous, too. Today we're talking about the ones that make you uncomfortable, but you aren't sure if they are misunderstood or dangerous. 

Courtesy of imgflip.com


So, I hate to tell you the world is a dangerous place, but here we are. The people who make you uncomfortable go into two categories; either they didn't mean to and are harmless, or they aren't harmless. Let's look at key differences based on the research I did. 

Strangers or acquaintances can be dangerous. Stanger danger is not the biggest problem. Sometimes others can hurt you as they get closer to you. This is not exclusively about strangers on the street. I'm going to warn you of things you shouldn't be doing and tell you straight up that your gut is worth listening to. 

What To Be Aware Of

Ted Bundy used to ask for assistance getting to his car and then force the woman helping him into the car. Don't help the people who give off dark vibes. Don't be a victim of someone taking a page from Ted Bundy's playbook. If they look capable of doing it alone and are not your trusted friend and neighbor be wary. Additionally, don't lend them your cell phone if you don't know them. Direct them to the nearest store or help desk within the store (or just get out). 

Forced "let me help you" behavior is not good, either. "I insist" is not a loving helpful soul; a loving helpful soul will understand when you don't want help. Keep your hands on your groceries and don't let them take them. Predators will try to take your stuff. 

Another ploy to get personal info may come in the form of TMI (too much information), which then could lead to you spilling more info than you intended. When getting to know people be wary of what you share and to whom. You don't have to reciprocate. 

Manners are for those that respect you. Read it again. If your gut says run, don't worry about politeness. Slam that door and go. Serial killers have literally gotten through front doors with sales presentations because of this situation. Don't be letting that happen. Tell your kids that manners are not for the ones who are dangerous. 

Stalking

I did a blog on the legal definition of stalking before. As a writer, I do observe the people around me. I am open about this. I don't follow them home. I friend them on their social media and make friends with them in person. I like to figure out MBTI personality types. If they don't like that I leave them alone. Stalking is not people-watching. Most writers are not following people around. Click this link to read about legal stalking and this link to read about character inspiration risks. You'll get clearer context from such blogs. 

Courtesy of Blogspot.com
Irresponsible people watchers may stumble into this if they go too far. All the same, intent makes a big difference. I do outline this in the linked blogs above. Irresponsible people watchers and bad private detectives could get arrested for stalking. 

Now, we talk about the signs you are being stalked. Getting the willies because this one person shows up more and more often? That's one right there. Most of us know our stalkers. Heaven knows we've all been misunderstood and stupid, but the people purposely doing this are a different situation. 

Did you ever get the feeling you were being watched? Like bugs bunny, I have been. You can feel the eyes on you. They follow you as you walk down the hall past the clear windows. They peer in windows at you. They linger in hallways. It sucks. I don't wish to be crude, but I'm saying it like it is. I've had at least two in my lifetime. 

Repeated social contact is another sign. Messages, phone calls, or any verbal messages left for you or on paper are red flags when you aren't seeing them socially. An example would be a past ex of mine calling and leaving long messages after we broke up. Yes, people get upset, but if they don't leave you alone at all and it's been months... run!

Did you order flowers? No? Then why did someone you met at the gym two weeks ago send them? This is a fictional example, of course, but I do think it is valid. It could happen. Unwanted gifts include random flowers and other assorted gifts that you didn't encourage someone to give you. Basically, beware of strange gifts - especially if you get a call asking if you received the chocolates on your porch (fictional, but valid example). 

Oddly enough, you can be "rescued" by a stalker who created the need for the rescue. Did they drain your gas tank and come by to give you a lift? Is your tire suddenly flat and they have an extra? Don't let them help you. Call a trusted friend and family member instead. Call AAA (triple A - a car care service). Maybe they are more subtle, though, like offering their umbrella or a granola bar when you forgot your lunch. 

Manipulating you into contact is not good. A threat to hurt themselves or others is a way they do this. Also, legal battles are a way to get in contact with you. There are many ways they can manipulate you into social interaction. 

Cyberstalking is a hard thing to prove legally. In a world where everyone you know has snooped a profile of an ex or attractive person, what is stalking? This is a category all its own that ties right into unwanted contact. It just has to do with internet contact, that's all. Hit that block button if you need to. It works miracles. Do understand, though, that some people may just like posts because they are fun posts. If you notice someone liked your posts a lot you can ask why. 

Are they trying to isolate you? Run! Damaging your reputation to pick you off easier is never okay. It never will be okay, either. Maintain that social circle. Keep your friends updated about your concerns. Make allies to keep you safe. 

Worst case scenario, violence happens and threats are made. Did they hurt you or your car? Did they hurt your friends and family? Call the police. Tell them everything with documented evidence of someone stalking you. Document it all. Erase nothing from your phone or social media. This is beyond "I can handle it". Get help from the police now. 

Lastly, too much unwanted attention is a real red flag. This ties into a neat bow along with another red flag, which is someone showing up more often than you think is normal. Maybe they looked harmless. Maybe all they did was annoy you. Maybe all they did was stand there and stare at you. Still, it isn't good if you look at the big picture and get alarmed. 



 Dangerous

This is a struggle. Danger doesn't come with a standard face. I've dated people who are very attractive and gotten hurt. I've also found people with less-than-great social cue awareness that appear harmful, but turn out to be harmless and not so perceptive. I can even admit that everyone (myself included) has been toxic to someone else at some point in their lives. Perfection isn't possible unless your name is Jesus Christ. We are not black or white and good or bad; we are grey, a mix of both. It just depends on what path we decide to follow. 

Anyone getting into your head and using weaknesses against you, in other terms emotionally abusive, is dangerous. Emotional abuse is never okay. Others may see it before you do. Listen to them. I've been there. I blocked it out and reasoned it out as okay when I was in that dark place. Gain distance if you see others continuing to point out you're in danger. Step back and assess before it gets any worse. Get out of the situation as soon as you can. Heal from it with the help of others. 

What complicates things is....drum roll.....social media! I once liked a whole bunch of posts because they were fun posts. I didn't know they'd show up on that person's notifications. I was in my early high school years. It didn't get a positive reaction. I have since deleted that account. I was embarrassed by my younger self (for more than just that reason) and restarted entirely. I actually think that we need to teach a class on social media dos and don'ts for everyone who is at an age to use it. Why is this important? Words can get misinterpreted real quick. Misuse of social media can be misunderstood. My best advice is to talk to the person directly and see what their intentions actually are. Maybe you had a long string of fun posts, maybe your words meant something else, and maybe the intent behind the actions wasn't dangerous. On the other hand, I can see that someone could easily use social media with dark intent. It is scary how much you can learn about habits and places someone goes via the media accounts they post on. It is scary to see someone pretend to be someone else. Be careful what you post and answering DMs. It speaks of where you go, what you like, who you hang out with, what you do daily, and so much more. Be wary that strangers and dangerous individuals can glean info from your profiles and posts. Learn how to use your social media in a safe way. Learn the dos and don'ts. Teach your kids how to use the accounts they own carefully and what to share. 

Apparently, an individual saying "you share first" all the time might be a sign of danger. They are reading you (not a bad thing if done innocently, but a horrible thing if done with malicious intent). All the time is a red flag. Many people read each other. We all read each other. When we read each other for the sake of manipulation or intent to harm it becomes a weapon. It indicates concealed intentions. In direct connection, we all know that some steal credit for work not done by them. Let's talk about Tesla and how many patents he had stolen. Those who steal credit are bad news. Playing dumb is another thing you might see from a deceptive soul, though that could also be to save hurting feelings. Again, playing dumb may be just someone with Sherlock skills not freaking you out. It depends on what the intentions are behind that. 

Drama is one thing that needs to stay on the stage. If it keeps coming up unnecessarily you might have someone with you that intends to make you come to them. You'll want to address the issue. They'll bring another one up and attack on another front. I've experienced that before. The person proved to be poison to more than one person. Drama magnets that cause drama, end up cutting people from their life because they "had to", and are not welcomed by family may be dangerous. The list of issues they caused could be rolled out like a scroll. 

If someone wants you dependent on them, they might give you a task and withhold vital information that would have you succeed. They then prove to you that you need them. They are keeping you tethered to them. Being dependent on humans is a recipe for failure, which they will keep giving to you. 

Ah, gifts, but it isn't my birthday? Why did I receive flowers today? Who's my secret admirer? Gifts at random are a way to make the victim feel indebted to the giver. If it isn't Christmas, birthday, retirement, wedding, graduation, a celebratory occasion, or gratitude for something be careful. You don't have to reciprocate. Unpredictable in general is a bad sign. Most people fall into habits and stay there for a while, changing as life does. Rapid fire changes aren't normal. 

Timing is everything. Did someone disappear during a crisis and then save the day multiple times? Well, be wary. They are manipulating you into admiring them. The timing of questions also fits into this. Questions timed during odd moments get more honest answers. Sometimes what you share can hurt you more than you thought. 

People in power sometimes back dangerous individuals because the individual played the victim or sucked up to them. You yield to people in power and feed them flattery to get power. Politics and Hollywood is full of toxic people who used others as stepping stones. Speaking of stepping all over people, a trail of victims or scapegoats may indicate a dangerous individual. Believe a trail of victims. Run if you see it. 




A dangerous person will maintain appearances to an extreme. Their image is everything. Professor Lockhart is a great example of this. He erased memories in the wizarding world (fictional) to make himself look great. Nothing is neutral and in extremes this is narcissistic. You challenge these people and they'll fly off the handle. 

We all have baggage. We all need to work through our issues. Remember when I said we've all been toxic? It turns out that when you are hurt, you hurt others. Yep, that one stings. Be real. We're human. We become dangerous when we let issues sit untreated for a long time. We only become dangerous when that issue is brought up, sometimes. It is okay to get help for something. Resolve those issues and keep on moving. 

Be wary of those that air grievances in public all the time. Privately solving issues is a good thing to do. Publicly putting all the laundry out for everyone to see is a dramatic move. We already talked about drama. It's bad. Ego is a big factor here. They won't be working things out in the relationship and won't be making it work. They act out and don't deal with stuff. 

Patterns speak volumes, which tie right into the trail of victims and scapegoats. The wreckage follows them. You can find them by the wreckage they leave. They justify it, too. Half-truths can happen here easily. Subtley dangerous individuals won't take responsibility for what they've done. It is everyone else's fault. Oh, and gaslighting is here to party, too. When it comes into play you need to run, fast, right now. If you want more info on a gaslighter, click here.


Misunderstood and Harmless




Ah, and here we are in the land of false alarms. Social cues being low may account for some behavior that triggers perceived threats. Intent is everything. Real threats indicate real harm and intent to harm, and perceived threats cause anxiety levels to rise unwarranted. Every perceived threat is different for every person. We all have triggers for fear. Your past experiences color your triggers for fear. No one can read anyone's mind. 

How do we decide who's creepy? Perception is everything. Your past experiences immediately become relevant information in your brain. Not everyone at the gas station at ten pm is there to be a creep. Not everyone who passes you in the darkened street is going to come after you. All the same, you might get scared, especially if you are petite and female.  

If you are male you are going to get misunderstood more often. Men are considered higher on the creep factor due to the violent nature attached to some bad apples. The Victorian ideal of women doing no wrong didn't go away; it just trickled down through our society like a small creek. Additionally, women will perceive more threats than men, which is directly connected to the patriarchal society we live in. There is nothing wrong with patriarchy if everyone is kind and considerate of others, but some men have ruined this. Those bad apples just made men more threatening. 

Some professions come across as creepy. Death scares people, so it should come as no surprise to hear that those working in the death industry come off as creepy. That doesn't mean your coroner or funeral director is dangerous, though. Do you want to know what professions get perceived as creepy? Clowns, taxidermists, sex-shop owners, and funeral directors. 

Abnormal is the word to focus on. Those that don't socially behave "normally" are seen as off. Many people don't think this is on purpose but also believe they can't change. Not all people with disabilities make others uncomfortable, but some do. Hobbies that are commonly seen as creepy include collecting dolls, insects, or body parts, or watching children, porn, or birds. To clarify, some of these should be giving us the creeps, and others (like bird watching) are harmless. Porn is an addiction that hits 5 to 8 percent of individuals in 2023. Many people you know may have struggled to be free of this addiction. It would shock you how many people silently struggle. Maybe a portion of them are dangerous, yet many people are not and feel shame for this addiction. 

We fear dark and high-crime areas. Women are going to be carrying mace in some places. Where one person feels safe, another may not. To be honest, we live in a society where some women surrounded by men feel unsafe, but most men surrounded by women may feel gleeful. Bad experiences in one setting can absolutely set off alarms. I don't like gas stations at night and malls alone, mostly because of crime novels and the fact trafficking happens in Canton malls sometimes. Know thyself. 

The conclusion I'm coming to is this; what is considered creepy is relative. Women have a more sensitive danger meter than men. Our society has caused this. This is why Jesus came and paid our debts; we need help. Some industries also feed the odd and abnormal functions that make predators. Porn in one person may cause shame, but others may start imitating it by force. Don't let strangers pick you up in malls and public places. Don't go home with a dude you met at a bar. You don't know what they intend. Take a hint from "the best song ever" by One Direction. Stay in that public place for your date.  

I said can I take you home with me. She said never in your wildest dreams.


Support For Others


If you see something, please say something. You may not be directly involved. You can still do good. University Health Services suggests remembering the three Ds: Direct, Distract, and Delegate. 

Direct - Speak to those involved directly and check in on those who might be harmed. 
Distraction - distract and make some diversion to let the person uncomfortable have an out. 
Delegate - You don't know someone well or can't be direct, so you find someone who can help directly

Also, I need to address the elephant in the room. If you find yourself becoming toxic get help for yourself. Take care of your emotional baggage and needs. Clear your mental headspace. Take care of yourself so you can have a healthy relationship with others. Be aware of your mental health. It is okay to ask for help before you damage someone else or yourself. 


 Deciding If They Are Dangerous

First, we look at your perception. Are you bringing bad memories to the table that cloud the facts of the situation? Write out what has happened. Talk to others about their perceptions of the person in question. Don't assume anything until you have the facts down on paper. 

Second, we look at what they have done and what your gut says after you've processed your own thoughts. Still seeing red flags? Tell someone. Still not sure? Tell someone. It's better to be wrong and have them be harmless than to not protect yourself and find they are dangerous. 

Keep in mind people are grey. We are complicated. Don't blow something out of proportion or downplay it too much. If your intuition is screaming at you go talk to someone who has your back. Find an advocate and a wise source of advice. Don't go it alone. Maybe it is a misunderstanding. Maybe it isn't. Some people don't understand social cues and some are doing this on purpose. Intuition doesn't go off for no reason at all. 

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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have two five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page.





Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.


















Sources:
https://www.uhs.wisc.edu/stalking-the-difference-between-healthy-behavior-and-harassment/
https://psychcentral.com/pro/exhausted-woman/2017/06/how-to-tell-you-are-in-the-presence-of-a-dangerous-person
https://www.quora.com/How-can-I-tell-that-someone-is-a-dangerous-person-that-can-do-harm
https://psiloveyou.xyz/7-low-key-signs-of-a-dangerous-person-34b3b79d8c0b?gi=feeb6b2e93d3
https://www.uhs.wisc.edu/bystander-intervention/
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Monday, May 8, 2023

Films that were too dangerous


Did you ever think, "who thought this was a good idea"? Well, you will now. Take a quick look at this blog, video clips and all, to find out what movies were too dangerous to film - and were done anyway.

Courtesy of Blogger



Today we're talking about the films Roar, Waterworld, Apocalypse Now, The African Queen, Hell's Angels, Poltergeist, and The Conqueror. There are many films that cost lives out there, but we're just focusing on these. Many stuntmen suffered and died doing films. I would like to honor those who lost their lives or almost lost their lives working stunts on film sets. 

Each movie will have a clip of a scene, some of them just normal clips and others show why it was dangerous. One of these is a scene I'll post a horror trigger warning of because it comes from Poltergeist, where a child was nearly strangled to death by a toy clown. The director had to save the child. I'll also note that I'm not going to be talking about set curses more than once, which are notorious on horror film sets. Yep, actors who act in horror films can be haunted themselves, but since I want to sleep tonight we're not going there. I draw the line. 

Poltergeist

We'll start with the only horror one on the list. In this movie (1982 version) a clown toy goes behind a child actor and drags him under the bed while trying to strangle him. Speilberg had to save the child. The clip below is from a horror movie. Watch at your own risk. This is the clip where a child was genuinely in distress.



Okay, so I said we wouldn't talk about curses. This may be the one exception to my rule. I'm only looking at mishaps on the set itself or during the timeframe of the film, not the post-film ones. I will only touch on this in this section. Four people died during and soon after filming. Two are pretty weird. We'll name them off one by one. This was a series of films. 1986, 1988, and 2015 are the other years of the series' films. 

Heather O'Rourke was already ill. She was diagnosed with Crohn's disease in 1987. She was six when the first film was released. She suffered cardiac arrest, was airlifted to a hospital, and died during an operation to correct a bowel obstruction. This one may have nothing to do with filming. She died when she was 12. All the same, they think she was cursed. We'll really never know. 

Dominique Dunne died the year of the first film. Her ex-boyfriend killed her in her driveway. He went to prison for it and then was released after three years and six months in prison. Again, not happening on set. May not be related. 

Julian Beck died of stomach cancer after the second film. Will Sampson died after an unsuccessful heart-lung transplant, which isn't so mysterious due to the slim chance of survival doctors had predicted already. These two are not mysteries.

 Frankly, not much of this says "cursed" to me, except for the death frequency. Basically, all these actors were dying of illnesses. This wasn't the only reason the rumor of a curse appeared. Using real skeletons was a set decision that may have influenced that. These skeletons were meant for classrooms, but were used as props in the film. "Cheaper than plastic", apparently, was the reason for this. Oh, and the medicine man actor actually performed a real exorcism in front of the cast (Sampson, who later died).

Roar

The film Roar was a dangerous endeavor that shouldn't have been attempted. It is about a family living with lions. Nobody died, but there were 70 cast and crew injuries. Noel Marshall, married to Tippi Hedren, put his whole family in the film. Melanie Griffith (Hedren's daughter) had to have facial surgery after being mauled. Hedren fractured her leg, got bitten, and got gangrene. Marshall was hospitalized with gangrene. John Marshall, Marshall's son, got bit on the head for 25 minutes. According to Ranker.com ' Marshall also had some harsh words for his father: "Dad was a f*cking assh*le to do that to his family." ' Tippi Hedren apparently shared that thought because this film ended their marriage. She continued working with big cats, but no longer supported the idea humans and big cats could coexist in a home. 

The shoot was a big zoo, with 132 big cats (lions, tigers, leopards, cougars, and jaguars) and one elephant. The director and his wife raised cubs in their home. The final cut of the film had real documented incidents in it. Actors crying out for help didn't stop the director from getting his shots for the film. Melanie Griffith's mauling is left in the film. One man was scalped by a lion and still came back to finish this project. Five years of shooting were needed to finish it. In 2015 it was released in the US. The clip below doesn't involve blood, but does show you enough to know how scared all these people were.




Waterworld

It is known for being the most expensive film in history. Kevin Costner, the star of it, ended up editing it after the director jumped ship on the project. The whole movie is set on the water. The set building began at 5 million dollars, then ballooned to 20 million. The seas were rough, so there were days they couldn't even shoot for the film. Actors became seasick. The script work was already not good as it was. Creative differences weren't helping. One actor kept getting stung by jellyfish, which earned her the nickname "jellyfish candy" from Kevin Costner. 

Speaking of stuntmen from earlier, Costner's stunt double suffered a near-fatal embolism while deep-sea diving. He was lucky to recover and returned to set later. Time passes, weather conditions make things worse, more shooting days are needed, and we're at a 135 million dollar budget. Costner gave up some of his profits to keep it going. Then a hurricane hit. Make that cost 150 million dollars. This movie had a rough start and then didn't do well at all. It's done better as of late, but it was a hot mess to make. It's kind of an odd movie, too, which didn't really help its cause. 




Apocalypse Now

This is a war film that takes place in lots of jungle areas, with a main character on a secret mission and itching for action. Martin Sheen, one of the stars, had a heart attack on set. Ford Coppola had put too much pressure on him psychologically. Sheen's hair was even graying. Coppola himself had a nervous breakdown and seizure. He declared his intention to commit suicide during the shoot. He was so dedicated to the film he pressed on despite the mental cost. 

Sheen, in one scene, punches a mirror and gets blood on himself. That wasn't fake. Coppola had Sheen drunk and locked up some of the time, telling him awful things according to the cast. They didn't yell cut. It was a bad situation. 

The locals agreed to work with them, and in doing this Coppola agreed to give them animals for ritual sacrifice, so when you see a water buffalo killed that's real.  On top of that, a typhoon showed up to make things complicated. The military started to refuse cooperation, too. 

They nearly used dead bodies, but then decided not to. They were going to string them up on trees. The bodies came from a grave robber. The police showed up and it got real awkward until they caught the graverobber. 

Drugs were everywhere. Some used it to get through a day of shooting, like Dennis Hopper, who was provided the drugs in order to play his role. Nobody was okay. Dennis Hopper and Marlon Brando also hated each other. They even used real napalm.

Did I mention one of the construction crew died? A log fell on a construction crew worker while the set was under construction. It was a freak accident and a tragedy. 


The African Queen

One of my favorite Humphrey Bogart films is actually one that caused many actors to be ill. It is a WWI comedy and romance. The crew and cast were okay in Uganda, but in the Congo things got problematic. Snakes, crocodiles, mosquitos, and bad water were just the tip of the iceberg. They were living in a camp hacked out of the jungle. They had to remember to shake their boots out in case a centipede crawled into them. They washed themselves in the river daily. 

Most everyone got dysentery - except Humphrey Bogart and the director, who drank more whiskey than water. It saved them this time. Between takes Katherine Hepburn puked in a bucket. Bogart only ate baked beans, canned asparagus, and scotch whiskey. "Whenever a fly bit Huston or me, it dropped dead" according to Bogart. 

It hit well, so it all paid off. The film is fun to watch. Nobody died, but nobody had fun either. 




Hell's Angels

This 1930's film killed four people. It was directed by Howard Hughes. Two brothers join the British Royal Flying Corps and a love triangle happens. It was completed in three years. It became a talkie instead of a silent film.  With vintage planes and mechanics with him, he filmed shots as realistically as he could. Today it would have cost 65 million dollars to film. 

Hughes, though advised not to, flew one of those planes and got the shot he wanted, with the added cost of a plane crash. He came out with a fractured skull and went into surgery. The professionals he hired didn't get so lucky. C.K. Phillips crashed while flying to the shooting location. Al Johnson ran into tension wires, ended up in the hospital, and died a day later. Rupert Macalister died, though it wasn't recorded why. Phil Jones died operating a smoke generator and not getting out of the way of a bomber crash scene. 


The Conqueror

This is a John Wayne film. This is not a film curse situation, to be clear, but a film that caused later deaths due to where they were filmed. This film allegedly killed John Wayne. He played Genghis Khan, of all the roles he could play. It wasn't typical of his roles. This film was shot in St. George, Utah. It was 100 miles away from an atomic bomb test site. The federal government said it was safe to be there. Unfortunately, one of the filming spots had actually become a radioactive hotspot. Oops. Eleven atomic bombs had been tested a year before they filmed, blowing contaminated air toward Utah. 

Fast forward a bit and many cast now have cancer. It was connected back to filming this movie. I will say that this movie is theorized to have killed John Wayne, who died of lung cancer (and he says it was because he smoked). 220 cast and crew went out there. By now 91 had cancer and 46 had died of cancer. I think we can conclude they shouldn't have been out there. Howard Hughes, who funded it, spent 12 million dollars buying copies of the movie and watching it out of guilt. He felt responsible for the damage done. He couldn't have known about the radioactivity, but he sure felt guilty about it. 





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Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

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