Women have makeup and trendy clothing marketed to us from an early age. We're taught by each other and the women around us that we should care what we look like. The men? Not so much. Today we're talking about why appearance seems to matter so much more in female society.
Courtesy of Stocksy United
What are women shown in media? Easy answer, what we're supposed to model. This is a problem. The female standard is fickle and constantly changes as time moves forward. We used to wear corsets, but now we're trying to achieve that silhouette by exercising. In many ways, the new standards promote unhealthy lifestyles and behavior.
Let's not mince words here. We need to address the elephant in the room. Whatever we wear we get judged, either by our peers or society as a whole. Men are visual, yes, but that isn't a reason to use that phrase as a mental battering ram. Men will be staring at you whether you are in jeans and a t-shirt or a bikini on the beach. They are programmed to pay attention to women because otherwise no one reading this would be born. My husband would think I was worth a million wearing a trash bag. While you shouldn't be parading in the nude or posting porn, it is equally true that we shouldn't have to be covering up in 90-degree heat for fear of judgment.
Unrealistic Standards
Victoria's Secret models are not the norm. Models in magazines have been edited. Society has expected us to have a flat stomach for a long time. Mine isn't flat and no amount of Zumba once a week will change that. Shakira may have one, but most of us haven't been belly dancing for most of our lifetimes. The point is that we're given unrealistic standards to follow by edited images. I've stated before that society screws men and us over by telling us to dress sexy. We then get judged for doing just what society said to do. Unfair is an understatement.
We are shoved into the beauty standard the minute we enter the school system and the outside world itself. Look back and see how many peers taught you to care about your hair, face, and body image. I revert back to tomboyism, especially now that I'm married and my husband is already impressed. I have no need to worry over how I look unless I'm going to a cosplay convention, wedding, funeral, or book signing. Do I care? Yes, I still care, yet I will never understand what drove my peers to wake up early and put on makeup every day.
As mentioned before, there are certain standards of beauty that need to die in a hole. One is a flat stomach, another is needing plump lips and butts, and the worst one of all is the need to be the trending body type. Gibson Girls are a shining example of a trending body type that is not healthy. Wasp-waisting is not safe and should never be attempted. All those I listed can cause self-esteem issues, bulimia, anorexia, and medical after-affects from injections. Please, you are beautiful the way God made you. Don't go getting surgery to fix what isn't broken.
Courtesy of Pinterest
Speaking of unfair standards, let's talk about fickle fashion. Because we have boobs (which really aren't just decoration) we have different rules. Those with large boobs never win. Those with practically no boobs never win. Nobody wins because fashion dictates what gets sold in clothing stores and it never stops changing. Most men don't have to deal with arbitrary rules and opinions on coverage and what is or isn't showing. Also, men don't have to deal with that in the leg department, either.
We are expected to look nice. Men can wear about anything to a school dance (especially in a rural area). Women have been taught they must wear a dress. Go ahead and think back or observe your school dances. Try to name one female that wasn't wearing a dress and makeup. If you can't think of one you aren't alone. We are taught to look good in public. We are also taught what is appropriate to wear by our community. Depending on whether you are Amish, Jewish, Christian, Hindu, Muslim, any other religious community I forgot, or have no religious background it changes. Our authority figures and peers teach us what is acceptable. Hollywood also gives us a standard to follow. Unfortunately, it sexualizes many women into being mere bodies to admire, like we aren't people. Marilyn, as we can see to the left, is one example of a sexualized woman who was exploited for her body.
Speaking as a Christian, I was told to care about my appearance by mostly school peers. Church clothes are a complicated issue if you go from a casually dressed church to a formal church setting. Generations past will also hold different opinions on "appropriate" clothing. Every church holds a different standard, it seems. I had a habit of wearing what I wanted despite other opinions. As long as it wasn't obscene (and it seldom was) my parents and family let me. I did wear my running shorts to basketball one day a few years ago, though, and it didn't go so well. It does make men uncomfortable to wear skin-tight shorts (oops), so I made sure those were Zumba and running shorts alone from then on out of respect. I see no issue with modesty in churches as long as rules are applied equally to both genders. My peers at school often liked making me over (hair, makeup). At this point in time, I don't try all that hard to impress with clothing and makeup. You'll also notice that modesty is something built into my clothing standard because I'm a tomboy. I don't post thirst traps. I get enough DMs as it is.
What you do without thinking about why
Shave your legs, trim your eyebrows, shave your armpits, use anti-pimple skincare... All these things are done by me without thinking about it too hard. Why? Women are taught to shave the hair on their legs and pits. We are taught to not let a unibrow develop. We are taught to care about our faces. Do you stop to think about why you do your everyday beauty routine? Probably not. The double standard here is the fact men (minus a few) don't do these things.
You say "book signing" and I say "I need to pick out my outfit the night before". Why do I put on my heels, makeup, and my favorite black dress? When you stop and think about why women like me decide to put on a dress it has to do with public appearance. It also gives us positive feedback. I posted a picture (featured to the left) and got comments about how I looked "fire" (slang for good-looking if you aren't up on the latest slang). The positive feedback conditions us to put on makeup and a nice outfit when we want attention or want to feel good about our bodies. Ladies, whether we have our red lipstick on or not, I think we all look fire.
I value a clean house for multiple reasons. It is more of a mental health exercise than anything else. Many of us feel pressure to have a clean house as a woman. Why? Let's go back a few decades. The 1950s judged women heavily on their ability to keep a home happy and healthy while raising kids and doing all the cooking- and looking good while doing it. Women still feel pressure to be homemakers today. Times are changing, though. Your living space does have to do with your appearance and reputation. It still counts in this blog as an appearance.
Self-esteem
You wouldn't believe it, but I am insecure about my weight. Body image in most women is a real concern. We love parts of our bodies and feel insecure about other parts. My feet are not pretty. They used to be, though. Most women are definitely worrying about weight according to Psychology Today. The standard of having a flat stomach doesn't help our self-esteem.
Courtesy of Glamour A Victoria's Secret model on the street
Other women gender-police other women into looking the part of being female, so you can logically assume that comments on your weight, face, skin complexion, clothing, hairstyle, or any other aspect hold weight. Professionalism and dating require you to look good (circle back to me and my book signing). It impacts a lot of women who want romantic attention or professional attention. Makeup and antiaging products really sell the idea you need to look young (which comes back to the idea you are less likely to get a man when you look older). We compete with our fellow women, too. That doesn't help.
Gender stereotypes feed women young and old the lie that we need to be pretty all the time. The makeup industry thrives on women. Gender bias leads your family to give you feminine toys when you are a girl, discouraging the pursuit of masculine toys. It is reinforced by many people that females should care about the appearance of the home and be feminine.
According to The Guardian:
"Furthermore, constraining stereotypes have a negative impact on girls’ mental health, convincing them first that an ever more demanding paradigm of physical “perfection” must be met with apparent effortlessness and then that being “popular” – meek yet sociable – sexy but not “slutty”, sporty in a narrow, feminine parameter (not “too muscular”) are imperatives. This, combined with the ever-spiralling academic pressure experienced by all young people, understandably causes high levels of anxiety, which, when sustained over time, can lead to feelings of depression."
What we are taught by society teaches us to try to be pictures of perfection we can't be. Gender classes at Malone explored this concept deeply. Nancy Drew - my favorite fictional character - even embodies this in the original books. When the images of women onscreen show us sexualized women it doesn't help our self-esteem. Nobody wins this game. We aren't supposed to be playing this comparison game. Nevertheless, the comparison game spurs on the idea we need to make ourselves into a perfect woman.
Personal Challenge: Let's build each other up today.
I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have two five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page.
Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him?
Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.
We are no better than the Victorians. While our parlor tricks have turned into TV shows and ghost hunting, we are still doing them; the only difference now is we have paranormal science and gadgets, which are sometimes not even reliable. Lets get into it and dig deeper.
Courtesy of Pinterest
If you asked Houdini (you can't, he's dead) where to find a non-fraud medium he'd tell you not to bother. Houdini put out a challenge way back when that stated any medium or psychic proving their power would win the grand prize of 10,000 dollars. Many tried, but none succeeded, and here we are still watching them on TV. What's wrong with us?
The Victorian era had a way of playing parlor games to contact the dead. Smart, no, but they sure thought it was fun. Not all these parlor games were about the dead (let's be real, some of them must have learned not to mess with it), but Halloween was all about the spooky. The innocent parlor games actually sound like boatloads of fun to play, including blind man's bluff, forfeit, lookabout, charades, the sculptor, Kim's game, pass the slipper, and dictionary. If you want to try these out -for they are far safer to play - click here for the descriptions. Be aware that there are more of these you shouldn't play that will leave you hurt, so do your own research before attempting any not listed here. From here on out, we'll be focusing on the dangerous ones that involve the supernatural. I will be talking about the Victorian era first, then our current time of 2023.
Victorian Spooky Games
I hate to break it to you, past Victorians, but your games were also witchcraft. Oops! The occult was a popular topic back then. It still is. I don't suggest traveling this path. Sceances, mediums, crystal balls, palmistry, cartomancy(future told in playing cards)...All games for pure entertainment in one's living room. All of that is witchcraft. Another thing that emerged in the Victorian era is the symbolism of flowers (language of flowers), which while fascinating has a loose connection to witchcraft. As suspected, the working class were not the ones going to seances out of curiosity on the daily, mostly because nobody's got time for that in poverty when you have a family to feed.
If you think Wica didn't exist then, you're wrong, they just didn't label it that. Halloween games included what sounds distinctly like Wica practices. Guessing your future marital status and husband was a common one. It sounds stupid to me. You walk into a dark room in front of a mirror, peel an apple, and maybe you'll see the face of someone you'll marry. I don't understand why this was entertaining. If you saw a skeleton you'd die alone, apparently.
Courtesy of imgflip.com
Another way to guess your marital status was to bake a dangerous cake. Bake a ring, needle, dime, and thimble into your cake. Needle and thimble indicated spinsterhood (no marriage), but a ring or dime indicated you'd marry. Tea anyone? Let's drip the tea; not spill, drip. Suspend a spoon on a teacup and drip tea onto it until it falls. Every drip is one year you have to wait until you marry. These people must have been high-class and bored out of their skulls.
To be fair to the Victorians, there was a lot of death around them. Why? Well, let's look at the arsenic makeup, child mortality, and other causes another day. History Connections has a whole series that I'll link right here. Medicines were not great, either. Medical care was not something you want me to talk about, and I don't care to. The occult was grief motivated for many who had lost loved ones one after another, like Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. They seemed to be obsessed with death in some ways, such as visiting cemeteries for picnics and viewing curious bodies (posted by newspapers) at morgues.
We also have to address the charlatans in the room. Houdini liked to go undercover and expose them. They had many different ways to fake everything, including dimming the lights and making everyone close their eyes so a partner could do things unnoticed. They could tap on the floor with their feet, cold-read the people in the room, and make up crap on the spot that was so vague it couldn't be disputed. It made them money because there is a sucker born every minute. It was wrong on so many levels. It is also the base of some magic tricks modern magicians can do. The world of magicians did benefit from all the charlatans, which isn't so strange if you think about it.
Todays' Parlor Tricks
We're going to start with our own modern Charlatans - those faked ghost-hunting shows. Not every show is faked, I know, but they do slant the historical view of The Winchester Mystery House and The Stanley Hotel, as proven by these two links; Winchester Mystery House and Stanley Hotel. These two Youtubers mention that at least one ghost show or two is clearly faking stuff for views. I don't think it's a good idea to ghost hunt, but I despise those that fake it more. If you intend to ghost hunt do it for real or just say it is fiction straight out of the gate. You make a mockery of yourself if you are found to be a charlatan.
Courtesy of The Mirror - a picture from the Winchester Mystery House
I confess, I have watched a few of these videos out of curiosity, despite my view that ghost hunting finds more demons than actual ghosts. I am a skeptic, but I also believe that some of them don't fake it. Kallmekris and Celina Spookyboo are not faking it in my opinion, nor are the Proper People (the few times they even attempted it). Honestly, I fear they are taking something supernatural home with them. The history of mental health in ghost hunters is not great. You risk taking a presence back home, where it can harm you. There are two viewers for these shows; one is watching because they want to make fun of the ghost hunters or disprove them, and the other genuinely might believe it. Let's be real. We've made ghost hunting a form of entertainment and we're no better than the Victorian Era population. It just so happens we stuff it into our TV shows and don't sit around peeling apples in front of mirrors.
The curiosity with death never left our society, ladies and gents. In fact, our bookstores now have Wica guides in them and crystals to be purchased. There is nothing new under the sun. I know a former Wica member and a current one. I flipped through the guide in a store and it literally sounds like I went back to the Victorian era. It mentioned peeling apples to bless a garden and moon water, which is water exposed to moonlight as far as I can tell. Our fiction also seems to be fascinated with the occult. And no, Harry Potter is not what I describe as the occult. Harry Potter is fantasy writing. Fantasy and the occult are not the same. No, I'm talking about the TV shows we see about covens and real occult practices. Have you noticed? Take a look around you.
Did the seances end? No. Did psychics and mediums end? No. Did the ouija boards disappear? No, they are sold among board games, where they don't belong. I firmly believe they need to be taken off shelves permanently. I had an experience in a house where someone had used one. There are places with dark supernatural beings due to the use of the ouija board by at least one or two people. They are dangerous. That's how you find demons. It turns out nobody learned from the victorian era. We're still playing parlor games we ought not to.
Conclusion
I will address magicians here, but I don't see harm in them. Houdini was one and he did not support the occult. He had Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's wife do a handwriting reading and it didn't match his mother's broken English, which spurred him to disbelieve psychics and mediums. There is no harm in a magic show. They already come with the implied nature of illusion. You suspend your disbelief like you are watching a movie. It isn't the occult.
Courtesy of davidhalperin.net
At the end of the day, Solomon was correct in stating nothing new is under the sun. The societal views of people before us trickle down to our modern-day era whether we look back to figure it out or not. Nothing truly disappears. We have new charlatans and old ones mixed in together, making money from the vulnerable and curious. I guess we'll always have a certain curiosity toward death and the afterlife, inevitably leading to an interest in witchcraft and divination. We want to know the future. I don't think we need to know the future, but we want to.
I believe God is in control. I don't think we need to be divining the future or talking to ghosts that could be demons. Jesus died and rose again to defeat Satan, thus we don't have fear if we are in Christ. He's got the supernatural covered. I don't have to try to keep guessing what happens next when He's taking care of me. If you don't agree with my faith view, we can agree to disagree.
I do think we should all be wary of chasing the supernatural to any degree, as we will never understand what we are truly doing and may stumble into a door that opens up more trouble than we bargained for.
Be careful. I care about my blog readers. I don't want you to welcome what you can't shove back into its opening.
I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have two five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page.
Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him?
Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.
We've all taken on more than we can handle at some point in time. We got too excited by our hobbies or thought we had more time than we did, but now we have to unburden ourselves from our projects one finished project at a time. Let's grab our shovels together.
Courtesy of design-fixation.com
First, you will need an open word document, piece of paper and pencil, or excel sheet. Whatever you prefer to use to organize your thoughts will do. Before I talk about prioritizing and figuring out what to tackle first we need a comprehensive list of your projects. I'll start by giving you an example.
My projects:
Freewriting Story draft - long range, commitment, unsure how close to end I am
editing next book/novella - long range, commitment, unsure how close to end I am
diamond dots painting - long range, leisure, about one fifth through it
counted cross stitch - long range, leisure, about 90 percent through it
playing dredge - short range, leisure, three fifths through the game plot
playing harvest moon - medium range, leisure, close to through the main storyline
reading Lonesome Dove - medium range, leisure, a little more than two thirds through
prewriting new blog series - long range, leisure, 80 percent finished
The example above follows this pattern: (project) - (long, medium, or short range) (commitment, due date, or leisure), (how finished the project is)
Take a minute and go through this for yourself. What do you have on your plate? You'll get a good overview of what you actually need to finish and what can wait.
Prioritizing your list
Now pull out that list and look for commitments and due-dated projects. How many do you have? Maybe you can put a lot of projects on a backburner list, where you can pick them up again at a later time. I highly suggest making a backburner list for the purpose of focusing on what needs to be done. You can pick up the backburner projects one at a time and unbury yourself that way.
Commitments and due-dated projects go on the top of your list, organized based on what is due when. For me, my writing is a commitment, which makes the story draft and editing process the top tier of my list. The next tier down is going to be what you prefer to finish soon or what is nearly finished, your choice. For me that is the blog series and Lonesome Dove. What is left goes on the bottom of your list or the backburner list, which is entirely your call to make.
In summary, the first tier is anything you committed to, the second tier is what you prefer to finish/ what can be finished soon, and third is whatever is left. There is also the option of having a backburner list and leaving projects put away until a later date.
Long, medium, and short range
To clarify, let's talk about the time a project will take. I've taken on two ambitious projects at a time and stressed myself out. It does actually matter how big your project is, in time and sometimes in size. If you have no time to work on it and it takes hours of crocheting to finish you should put it on your backburner. When you have nothing but time, you can pick it up and conquer it. Basically, be aware of what your project requires of you (time, materials, money).
Courtesy of Pinterest
In that spirit, I define long-range as something that takes a lot of your time and energy. You can't crochet a large blanket in one day, nor can you do a larger counted cross stitch in two days. Many long-range projects take supplies, too. My blog series I'm working on is actually on the back burner because it requires I take a lot of time during the week to game, which takes time out of my writing time. All these referenced projects are long-range.
Medium-range isn't going to take boatloads of your time and energy, but it will take some time from you. A longer book can go in this category, or crocheting a baby blanket will. Energy is taken, yet not so much that you take months to finish the craft, game, or book. My current video games can fit into this category, especially games like Harvest Moon that are near impossible to speed run. Dredge and Legend of Zelda seem to fit here, too, though some games can fit into the next category.
Short-range is a speedrun-able videogame, an easy-to-read and short book, or something that takes a day to crochet. In other words, you can finish off the project within a week or less. It doesn't take forever. Chronicles of Narnia books can fit in this category easily, mostly because they are actually written for younger readers. My Marlowe collection and Nancy Drew collection can also fit. For you, this may mean all you need to do is devote a few afternoons to something you haven't finished yet.
When I wrote out my list above these are the working definitions I went by. If all your projects are long-range I'd suggest putting a few on your backburner list and knocking them out one by one. Short-range may just take a few afternoons every few weeks.
Leisure and commitment
Picking up a project for kicks and giggles is not the same as promising to make your niece a birthday gift. The most important distinction is commitment. My counted cross stitch is more enjoyable when I'm not constantly racing to finish it. It will be finished faster, believe it or not, if I am truly enjoying myself. I'll want to pick it up more when I'm having fun doing it. That doesn't mean you won't have fun making a birthday gift for your relative. It just means that you need to remember the difference between a "for fun" project and an "I promised this to someone" project.
Courtesy of paradisefibers.com
The truth of the matter is that I'm guilty of putting leisure too high on my priority list sometimes. I have to adjust it quite regularly so I'm focusing where I need to be. Harvest Moon, Dredge, and my counted cross stitch are not at the top of my list, and if they were I'd never get any writing done. I'd be behind on blogs daily if that were the case. Many of us forget that our leisure shouldn't necessarily be the top priority in our lives. It is a blessing to have it, but it's a side quest in the long run.
This is the ideal place to write out the back burner list. While your back burner list may never end, at least you didn't try to do it all at once. One at a time is a real way to get a lot of fun projects done. Finish what you started and put all your focus on one goal at one time. It'll be a better outcome when you are not trying to multitask (something science says you can't do).
A plan of action
What do you tackle first? Where do you start? Pull out that list. The first commitment you see will be your starting point. Anything on the first tier is coming first. Once you've got most of the first tier tackled, you jump to the next one. Finally, the last tier can be conquered.
The thing is, though, that you are going to find other side quests coming up to tempt you. The back burner list is where these should go. Once your list is down to only a few projects maybe you can pick one up. This is going to take time, depending on how many projects you buried yourself in.
Another way to think about this is progress; making it a goal to make progress on something can go a long way. Schedule out time to knock out a few short and medium-range projects, while also scheduling out time every week or so to make forward progress on long-range projects. Forward motion on something weekly will finish off at least one or two things on your list. The goal is to unbury yourself. Plan and schedule all that out as much as you can.
Projects vs perpetual tasks
Projects that lead to perpetual tasks are not what I'm talking about. Blogging, promoting my book, managing my social media, and writing are never going to end for me. The tasks that I speak of in this post specifically are projects with an ending.
Another thing to consider is when your hobby is not going to end for you. Diamond art, as long as I have the next one on hand, is also perpetual. Books and puzzles are perpetual, too. You might want to take what you do for fun over and over again off of the top priority list and focus on what isn't perpetual. Unburdening yourself of what you do only once may give you more time to do the hobbies you love.
From now on
This will happen again. I'm just telling you now. Yet, personal rules may be set in place to make it less overwhelming to handle. For example, I don't take on more than one long-range sewing or crochet project at a time and force myself to finish reading the book I'm on before starting another one. Setting that boundary is worth it for your mental health.
It may be that you don't generally plan out projects and what they'll require. Maybe you should be doing that. Remembering how long a counted cross stitch usually takes may color how often you pick one up in the future. Looking at the instructions and size of your project will help you figure out if you have time to do it right now, or if you need to put it on your back burner list for later.
Courtesy of University of Toronto
Creative souls tend to overbook themselves because they have ten million ideas. A million dreams are keeping us awake. We want to make all the things for all the people for Christmas. We want to do all the stuff on our cat crochet Pinterest board. Every embroidery and cross stitch looks adorable. I, personally, would love to try out every Stardew Valley farm and name it something fictional every time. You get the idea. I need not continue listing all my ambitions. I am no stranger to overbooking myself. I did, however, set personal rules for myself to stop me from doing this. I may not read every book on my shelf, but I can try.
There is another element that makes it a promise that you'll have to do this again. Boredom is the enemy, dear readers, and an empty mind wanders. After you finish getting the list down you may start to get bored again. Depending on how much you had on your plate before this, it may not happen, but you may just find your hands itch for something to do with themselves and you want some new adventure. Put those personal rules in place. You'll need to do that if you don't want to unburden yourself of 10 projects you started and got overwhelmed over.
I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have two five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page.
Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him?
Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.
I now own both Harvest Moon and Stardew Valley, specifically a modded Stardew Valley game file and Harvest Moon Light of Hope. I'd like to compare the two, which are similar and yet different.
Courtesy of The Xbox Hub
If you don't know these games, I'll explain their basic premise. They are casual games that include rebuilding a community of people by doing their sidequests and restoring their physical buildings. Take Legend of Zelda and get rid of the main villain, leaving only sidequests, and you'll find something remarkably similar to Harvest Moon. Stardew Valley is a farming game with some battle opportunities in the mines, so still similar to Legend of Zelda, but with more farming and fishing.
What makes these different? Mostly artistic style and storyline. Harvest Moon Light of Hope is about saving the lighthouse and fixing all the ruined homes so villagers can return. Stardew Valley is about choosing between fixing the community center or supporting the major commercialized store (which makes all the people hate you). Stardew has you moving there to get away from the city and Harvest Moon has you shipwreck onto the island. Harvest Moon has a similar artistic style to Legend of Zelda DS games, while Stardew looks a like an older, pixel-like gameboy game. That is where most of the differences are spotted.
Today I'll talk about the gameplay differences and what is nearly the same. Surprisingly, they are their own entities, even if Harvest Moon did come first.
Differences
I already explained the setting and art style differences, but let me go into more detail. Stardew Valley could pass for an older video game than it is. I could totally see someone passing Stardew off as older than Harvest Moon, but that'd actually be incorrect. The art style of Harvest Moon, on the other hand, reminds me strongly of Legend of Zelda toon link characters. Even the music and sound effects continually remind me of the DS games I still own (Phantom Hourglass and Spirit Tracks). Your character doesn't speak, much like toon link. All you get are facial expressions (maybe five, at most).
Courtesy of PCGamesN
Settings for Stardew Valley are pixelated, yes, but you get more town than country. Stardew is also not an island. Harvest Moon is definitely an island. The map is also different in Harvest Moon, as you have to unlock areas, as opposed to Stardew Valley (completely explorable first day, for the most part). This makes it harder to play Harvest Moon quickly, forcing you to unlock areas to get items and tools. Stardew gives you all the tools at once.
Now we hit on another difference. The gameplay includes clearing your farm, but while Stardew gives you every tool you need at once, Harvest Moon does not. It frustrated me, at first, to deal with being unable to clear the rocks on my farm. Harvest Moon forces you to slow down. Stardew can be speedrun. I don't think Harvest Moon can be speedrun nearly as quickly.
The amount of mods that Stardew can handle is shocking. This game specifically was someone's pet passion project for a long time. Concerned Ape takes their time creating the game itself, which makes it so stable that it has dozens of mods available. I have the extended game mod, the bins anywhere mod, and the tractor mod. My husband has even more mods on his. Harvest Moon Light of Hope has maybe one mod, which my husband has already, and he couldn't find more than that. Yep, Harvest Moon is less likely to be modded. And even with the cheat mod, my husband still has a challenge on his hands.
A sword. Nowhere in Harvest Moon have I had to use a sword or be provided a weapon, at least not yet. Stardew hands you a sword for the mines. I have seen no sign of monsters in Harvest Moon, but no shortage of them in Stardew. If you want to fight monsters and get rewarded for killing "x" amount of them later on, Stardew is what you want.
Courtesy of navigames.es
Harvest Moon steers you into the storyline constantly, while Stardew lets the player do what they want from the start. It is a slight difference, but should still be noted. You have a lot of independence in Stardew, which even extends to customizing your home and layout (see next paragraph for discussion).
In short, Harvest Moon Light of Hope won't let you abandon the major plotline and Stardew will give you free rein from the jump. Ruin the farm? Stardew cares not. Several YouTubers make a living messing around on Stardew Valley farms.
Customizing is a luxury Stardew Valley will give you. Want your barn by your house? Go ahead. Want your silo by your greenhouse? Sure. From Character details to even the farm type, you get your choice. Is the furniture placement not your favorite? Change it. Harvest Moon does not let you do that. You fix the barn and coop where they are. You get the cabin, but no choices on furniture. I was kind of sad about that. Your character gets one outfit. No customizing options exist for your character in Harvest Moon Light of Hope, at least that I've seen.
Storage is not the same. You need bins in Stardew Valley, but never need bins in Harvest Moon. You have a limit of 99 or 100 items in Harvest Moon. Stardew items stack (most of them, at least). Stardew makes you consider your backpack space, while Harvest Moon doesn't. Bins anywhere mods make this problem easier to maneuver around in Stardew, which makes it easier to haul loads in the mines. Harvest Moon is nice because I don't have to worry about backpack space.
Oh, and one last thing. Fishing mechanics are entirely different. One feels too easy and the other takes a lot of learning to pick up. Almost too much learning, really. Harvest Moon fishing is too easy after attempting the fishing in Stardew Valley and getting it down pat. Stardew at least gives you crab pots, though, so I think they know fishing is a struggle. Once you get it, though, you get it, which leads to lots of money in your pocket.
What remains the same
Relationships are a big part of these games, including dating (if you want to, only if you want to) and marriage. You can get those heart levels up by giving gifts, talking to them often, or doing favors for them. Several characters need to be buttered up so you can do sidequests (mayor lewis' purple pants) or upgrade tools (Carol in the flower shop). Harvest Moon makes you become friends with the locals. You give gifts to them and they give you all of the side quests all of the time. Take them, do them, and reap the rewards of free items.
Farming, fishing, and mining are all here. In fact, you need to do all of it to finish the village in Harvest Moon or the community center in Stardew Valley. You can buy stuff, but not all of it. The whole game begins with you farming for money with starter seeds. Then you get the pole from a character and can fish, which is where the real money is made. Seriously, sell fish.
Cut scenes galore is normal for both, especially after big community quests. Don't forget that higher hearts mean more cutscenes that can ambush your time. Stardew at least lets you skip. You can learn more about the villagers at this moment.
Courtesy of taigame.org
Health bars are a real concern (unless you have the cheat mod for both of these games to make you invincible). Eat and sleep for more energy. Check out the hot springs, too. When mining, make good food. You need it to make it farther down into the mines, which requires extra energy to find down ladders. In this way, Stardew has a harder and yet easier mining situation. Monsters aside, you at least have a better method of finding the exit down in Stardew.
Conclusion
Both of these I highly recommend playing. Grab them both when the next Steam sale comes up. They are excellent games to own and play, especially if you like casual farming games. I know not everyone wants to farm via their laptop, but I do. My husband and I got them and were hopelessly addicted for at least a week or more.
The ultimate answer is no, they aren't the same game. I think one took inspiration from the other, though. I do like the similarity to the Legend of Zelda games. This category of games is built for the people who probably loved Farmville way back when, as well as those that want to forget their troubles for a few hours after work. Try these out if you get the chance and feel you'd enjoy it.
And.......if you feel so inclined, try out something else, like my book. I wrote this in college and have finally put it out into the world. I would greatly appreciate those that pick up a copy in paperback or ebook. Like it? Leave a review on amazon! I can't do this without you, my faithful blog readers and friends. Click here to go straight to my Amazon book page.
Today I am posting my review of Music Boxes, a middle-grade suspense/thriller. I'm going to start with a synopsis, so you know what this is all about. I'm doing this review spoiler free, which means you only get to hear about the ending once you check out the book for yourself (please do, it is worth it).
Courtesy of Pinterest
This book is about a ballet dancer named Lindsey, who has been uprooted by her family's move to New York. She runs into a woman offering classes only if she performs in the midnight shows. There is a sinister twist to this offer. Madame Destinee, the teacher offering the classes, calls students to her office who never come back. After they aren't seen again, a music box with their costume and face is seen on her shelf of music boxes. Lindsey must figure out what is going on before she becomes a music box herself.
I give this five stars. Nothing bumped me out of the story. I read it in one shot. It took about three hours to read (give or take any distractions that find you). If you need a book to last one evening, pick this up and let it transport you into its world. I got lost in the storyline and hooked on the story after one chapter. It does have a Night Gallery-like plot with a creepier edge to it. No, it won't give you nightmares, but yes, it does leave you on the edge of your seat. I got a lot of emotions from this short novel, which indicates a good, compelling book.
Going into detail on what I thought of the book will take three categories. I'll talk about the characters and plot, the foreshadowing and themes, and then the reading level. Let's dive in.
character and plot line
The characters in the book have real emotions. Lindsey is dealing with the reality of being uprooted. Her parents are catering to her sister's needs since her sister Bridget has been enrolled in Julliard pre-college classes due to her violin talents. Lindsey wasn't even allowed to pack her ballet stuff because they had to make room for a music box that could have broken on the moving van. You can feel her dislike of the situation in the way she describes New York and talks about it in the first chapter.
Dialogue between characters is organic, meaning it feels like a real person could say it in real life. Nothing in the words exchanged lacks emotion. You can feel the emotion spilling out between the words on the page. I can't say that about every book I read.
Plot-wise, it is perfectly paced. It doesn't drag or go too fast. It doesn't feel like it takes forever to get to the good part. There isn't unnecessary fluff anywhere. It is linear and makes sense. The foreshadowing within the plot also gets woven in perfectly as the story goes on.
foreshadowing and themes
The amount of foreshadowing in this novel is staggering, but it isn't too much. The foreshadowing of events and revealed truths are spread out all over the dialogue and images in the novel. A reader could put together what is coming or predict some events based on the evidence strewn through the book. It is consistent, every fact tying together in a flawless bow. Even if you didn't put together everything, there is a revealing scene to explain it all.
Courtesy of Ohio
Apples are everywhere, for reasons I won't explain. It has to do with the ending. I'll say this, though; it is vital to notice the apples. It reveals an ending fact that I suspected as soon as I read the first half of the book. The other theme is jealousy, which runs from the beginning to the end. It's the core of the story itself. Lindsey is jealous of the attention her sister is getting. Madame Destinee is jealous of every dancer with talent (read the book, I won't explain this one). Jealousy is the reason that Lindsey gets taken into this situation in the first place. Lindsey has to combat her jealousy to defeat the evil going on.
reading level and speed
Experienced readers could consume this book in one evening. It is written for upper elementary through middle school readers, but still appeals to me as an adult. That is a high compliment. For this reason, it is easy to read in one sitting. Only have half a day to read? Pick this one up. You won't regret it.
The chapters are not super short, nor are they super long. They are just the right length. Twenty-one chapters is about the length of a cozy mystery, give or take one or two chapters. It never felt too long or too short. Someone had excellent judgment when deciding the chapter and book length.
conclusion
To make a long story short, I'll give the basic reasons to drop by your local bookstore for a copy. It isn't going to take you forever to read it. The foreshadowing is brilliant and the darker, creepier tone is good enough to be an episode of Night Gallery or Twilight Zone. The characters were amazing and I cared about them, to the point of deep emotion. Go check it out and you'll see. You'll be thinking about it for a few days after, too. It was that good.
No, I didn't forget about my own book in writing this review. Clickhere to reach my amazon page. My first suspense novel Wrenville is available in paperback and kindle ebook form. Check it out!
We like to make fun of entitled people on Youtube and social media worldwide. What does entitled mean? Let's discuss.
Courtesy of Odyssey
According to the dictionary entitled means one of two things. Either you believe you inherently deserve a privilege or special treatment or are legally told you are entitled to *fill in the blank*. Better Help says this: "an unrealistic, unmerited, or inappropriate expectation of favorable living conditions and favorable treatment at the hands of others." Simply stated, you believe you should get special treatment and privileges, and you can be mistaken.
A great example of entitlement is shown in Charlotte Dobre's Youtube channel, which constantly reacts to Reddit stories of entitled brides, grooms, and the general population. It is fun to watch, but you do need to remember real humans lived these out. We are sheep, ladies and gents. Social media will also blast these people (Karens, if you will) who do behave badly in front of store clerks, waitresses, and neighbors. In a way, society is punishing them for their off behavior and simultaneously making them a source of entertainment. Humans like to watch a good dumpster fire when it comes into view. I don't know how to feel about that, but yet again, I openly admitted to watching Charlotte Dobre's videos.
Why Are They Entitled?
Good Question, and sometimes it comes down to getting everything they want all the time at home, only to come out into the real world and get smacked with a cold blast of reality. In this situation, they react by blowing up on other people around them. This blowup is what gets blasted on social media, including whole Reddit categories on entitlement. In other cases you'll see that someone didn't get enough of something at home, then will demand it from others. Overcompensating for the past is a way this entitlement happens, too.
To be fair to those struggling with personality disorders, I'm going to mention that Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) do exhibit these symptoms. These are people who have serious struggles affecting relationships and human interaction. I'm not going to say every "Karen" you see mistreating someone has a disorder. I also won't neglect to mention it here, lest anyone forget that invisible illnesses are real.
The overall effect of lashing out when you don't get what you want can come from a place of insecurity. It ends up isolating those "Karens" from the rest of society, which doesn't lead anyone down a stable mental path. In short, you lose friends for all those times you lash out. You need those. You can spiral without mental support.
Overcoming Entitlement
You thought I was just going to roast the entitled? Nope, I'm not. If you find you are lashing out, losing friends, and feeling convicted by my research I have some advice for you - before you get blasted all over Reddit for a neighbor dispute or bridezilla incident.
You need to remind yourself you are a unique individual and don't need to compare yourself to others. Take some time to write out goals with steps you're willing to take to get there. Remember that if you fall down get back up. Doing it yourself comes with the satisfaction you did it. Do it because it is the right thing, not for the reward in the end. Lastly, put yourself in their shoes and try to see their point of view, and empathize. Better Help found at this link can be of service to you, should you need to overcome this.
Very Well Mind has some advice, too. They suggest you recognize your sense of entitlement and squash it before you act on it. You are entitled to nothing and should learn the difference between a need and a want. Based on the situation, focus on what you can control and practice gratitude. Take a good, hard observation of how your entitlement has and could affect the people around you. Last and most importantly, be kind to yourself. Being kind to yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself, and only you can do that. They suggest you find a mental health professional to guide your journey into a balanced life. Want the whole article? Check it out here.
Traits of the entitled
The traits of entitled people aren't pretty. For instance, empathy goes out the window and they are the center of their world, expecting the world to owe them everything. They won't earn it themselves.
Do you know someone who expects special favors? Maybe, maybe not, but the entitled in the world see nothing wrong with this. Even if they think they can skirt the rules because they don't apply to them. Even if they mistreat serving staff and waiters who are just trying to get through the shift. These are the humans demanding freebies and not wanting to pay for art.
Thinking you are a million dollars of fabulous and should have a great life, with no effort made on your part, is a delusion. This is when you see some influencers elevating themselves above others. You do need to make an effort to make your life better. You can't just let others do all the work for you.
Flaunting power, influence, and money is a toxic trait. Not everyone has to bend over backward to make the life of an entitled human easier. We don't all have to do something for someone because of their power and influence. I'd go so far as to say we need to stand up to those who bully others with their money and power. Let them fall down on their butt and build themselves back up. If you floated on the backs of others to get somewhere, then do nothing for the others who got you there it is not something to brag about.
Gratitude is a virtue much appreciated. Entitled people generally don't have it. Saying thank you is a skill lost to them. Tipping? Nope. When they do lose it, though, they'll be sad they didn't say thanks. The fact of the matter with the entitled is they are the most important thing in their own mind. This is why they care not whether you need time to work out personal issues. The empathy is not there. Entitled individuals will act this way across the board, most of the time.
Victim mentality is what Charlotte Dobre often references when looking at the stories of the entitled, which is truly sad. The delusion they are the victim when you won't give them what they demand is real. She's hit the nail on the head. They aren't taking responsibility for their own lives, instead expecting everyone to carry them through life. They seem to need constant praise, too, which explains some entitled influencers' behaviors. The truth behind that is a massive amount of secret insecurity, which they may need to seek help about, but often don't.
The focus on self-image is common with the entitled, who wear a metaphorical mask constantly. They are likely to experience chronic disappointment, expectations unmet, and a cycle of behavior that puts them in social and psychological harm on a daily basis. It is harmful to be like this. Seek help, for your sake and ours.
Children and Entitlement
We see this in kids first. Where? Let me show you. If you've seen a toddler wanting candy at a store and having a meltdown, you've seen it. Blaming a teacher for a bad grade is also a good example. Being uncomfortable with frustration, like complaining you didn't get what you want, is a sign. Expecting something you feel you have a right to is another example.
Can parents cause this toxic trait? Sometimes yes and sometimes no. Maybe it is a disorder in specific cases. Parenting is hard. All the same, doing what is stated below may encourage this in children - who grow into adults.
1. Being your child's friend is not the job of the parent. "Because I said so" is a valid answer to why they have to do something. You are not their peer; you are their parent (or legal guardian). When you behave as a peer it encourages them to be entitled. Saying "Bath time in five minutes" will still give a child time to transition to another task, as opposed to "Do you want a bath?". Wording matters and you can word things in a way that says you - the parent - are in charge. "We leave for school in five minutes" is one positive example of such wording. Adult children are their own entity and can be your friend and child, but barring that situation you need to establish you are making the decisions.
2. Equal say in decisions can encourage entitlement, too. Again, you make the decisions because the child has not developed fully. Can they say their thoughts on the decision or matter? Sure, they can, but you make the final decision and your say goes. I don't advocate not listening to your child, because I know that later they talk to you more if you listen to them speak, but doing everything they want you to do tells them they are the center of the universe. They are not. Don't allow them to think they are.
3. Bribing is a tactic that rewards bad behavior. Reward and bribe aren't defined the same. A bribe rewards bad behavior, while a reward is an incentive toward good behavior. For instance, Stillwell runs all over the bus causing chaos during the movie A League of Their Own, and gets a candy bar as bribery to behave and stop being chaos. In comparison, my mother-in-law homeschooled both her children and offered the incentive of money when they turned in homework - a reward for good behavior. Simplified down to one statement, it is this; reward the behavior you want to encourage.
4. Remember the participation trophies nobody worked for? You showed up and got rewarded for it. While this may be a good thing for those who tried and didn't win the league, many didn't do anything except show up and stand in the outfield or soccer field. You notice that goes away as the ages rise, and for good reason. You earn rewards for doing more than showing up in the real world. It is highly debated whether participants should get a trophy for simply entering the building.
5. Saying no is vital to parenting. No means you can make a child upset, but wouldn't you rather they learn not to run into traffic? The spoiled ones who get all they ever wanted and more take this for granted all the time later in life. They learn their parents are genies or ATMs. You are the parent. Say no when you need to say no. You are the authority figure and they need to learn the world will sometimes say no.
6. Modeling good behavior is also vital. What you do speaks louder than what you say and tell them to do. If you model that you can bully someone into getting what you want, they'll do likewise. Entitled behavior gets modeled to a child and they will mimic that. They repeat TV shows and movies, so why wouldn't they look to you for how to behave in society? Your child is not fully developed. They will pick up on what you do and say. Cussing? They'll repeat it. Entitlement? They'll show you what you look like. If you see they are mimicking you and you hate how it looks, change. You can control you.
Teaching Kids Resilience
Above all, teach your kids resilience (capacity to deal with diversity) because if they can't deal with challenges they'll find ways to cope that aren't positive.
What can you do to help them build better lives? Below we explore that.
1. Responsibility and accountability are major. You can give kids chores as early as age 3, according to science. Make it clear they are accountable for their actions. This can mean caring for a pet, doing dishes, or even just setting the table. Little tasks are still chores. Later you can teach them cooking and mowing, but once they are of age.
2. Resilience can be taught by making a child ride out a situation (as long as it is not an abusive one). My parents made me stick to T-Ball, which was fun but not so fun I'd sign up for coach pitch. Making them finish homework and do their responsibilities despite that new video game release can teach this, too. Life doesn't always line up perfectly. Teach them doing what they don't want to is part of life, at times. Kids who find the working world "doesn't care if they want to" get a rude awakening when not taught resiliency.
3. Teach a child to write thank you cards and say thank you. Gratitude taught is a skill that sticks with you. You'll notice those with low income are especially thankful for little things. Even without being low-income, you can be thankful for all God gave you. Gratitude goes a long way in people skills.
4. Service projects are great opportunities. Growing up in a church? Go volunteer for that mission trip or family service project they talked up Sunday morning. Even going to help with a one-day church event as a prayer warrior or set-up person is a service opportunity. Your kids see you modeling this or go on that mission trip to find that it holds a high mental reward. They see someone's eyes light up at their new floor, painted bathroom, or hot water plumbing. It goes a long way.
5. Own up to your mistakes as a parent. We are all humans raising humans. Why else is society so wonky? The least we can do is raise our kids to be honest, humble human beings. Modeling this is going to do even more than you think. I have respect for my parents for this reason. It means they were real with me. They apologized when they made a mistake. Be real with your kids and they will thank you later in life. In fact, they may stick around and tell you more about their lives in the long run.
6. Simple conversations about wants versus needs, working hard, self-control, focusing on what you can do, and the reality of privilege is vital. You can model it, but talk about it, too. When your words match your actions you'll make a massive impact. Please talk to your kids. Be open to life's questions. They need our help. In fact, we all need help. If we didn't, Jesus wouldn't have come to us. Society is in serious trouble and has been for centuries.
Like my writing? I wrote a book! Find my book at this link.
Today I want to lighten the mood and talk about four actors' voices. I'm speaking of the voices of Piglet, Frosty the Snowman, KITT the car, and Yzma. The actors voicing these characters are using their natural voices.
Courtesy of Eric Juneau Books
Today's blog isn't complicated. I needed something quick to write up and thought this was rather fascinating. It still breaks my brain to hear the voice of KITT outside of the TV show Knight Rider. Without much introduction, I'm diving in.
KITT
Anyone who isn't familiar with KITT the car never watched Knight Rider, or at least didn't watch more than two seconds of the show. The voice of the car is William Daniels, also known for TV shows Boy Meets World and St. Elsewhere. He's voiced KITT even up to the year 2020, according to IMDB. The video below is Michael Knight/Long being introduced to KITT in an unexpected twist.
Does that voice sound synthesized to you? It did to me too, but let me show you a clip from Boy Meets World and break your brain. Listen carefully.
Yzma
Watching Emperor's New Groove is a brainless, yet fun experience. Yzma is voiced by Eartha Kitt, who is known for playing Catwoman and being a singer. She had a rough life. I don't mean that she had a hard time rising to fame, either. No, she was given away by her mother and treated horribly. She danced her way out of poverty. She wasn't treated well in her younger years. Let me direct you to a video by Kaz Rowe, where she goes into great detail on the awful experiences Eartha Kitt went through. Click here if you want more information on Eartha Kitt.
Right now I'm moving on to the main topic, her voice. Below is a clip from Emperor's New Groove. She is known for her distinct voice.
I had a hard time deciding what clip to put in of her speaking naturally. I decided that I'd put in a compilation of Catwoman and let you listen. Though the purring is added for the character, the rest of it is purrrfectly genuine.
Piglet
Winnie the Pooh is a classic. I loved it as a kid and it is still wonderful. The movie Christopher Robin is just as good. What you may not know is Piglet's voice (up to the year 2005) is the natural voice of John Fiedler. The man is no longer living to voice Piglet and others have taken over since the year 2005. Do you want to hear the original voice? Let me show you. Keep in mind you've heard him as more than Piglet. He voiced the man who threw off Cuzco's groove, was in a Columbo episode, and voiced a porcupine in The Fox and The Hound. While he was mostly Piglet, he also acted in other films.
Alright, you know the pattern by now. I'm going to show you a video of the man speaking in person. You can't mistake which one John Fiedler is.
Frosty the Snowman
My husband watched a Night Gallery and found the voice of Frosty. He couldn't quite place the voice, but he knew it for sure. Then he looked up the actor and discovered why it was so darn familiar. Jackie Vernon voiced Frosty the Snowman. He voiced the specific episode of "make me laugh" in Night Gallery, in case you were going to search for it later. You know I'm going to put a clip of Frosty to be sure you know the voiceprint, yet I'm sure I don't have to.
Night Gallery is not something my brain needs to latch onto, so I'm not going to post the segment here. I'm going to have his standup, instead.
Conclusion
While I can think of three more, I'll save those for another day. Not every voice actor can use their natural voices for roles, but these did.
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