What Adulting Truly Is

 What is adulting? What does it mean to be an adult? While I do see that people are considered adults (by others) upon reaching something close to the American dream (notice, something close to it), I think adulting has a lot to do with learning how to care for yourself and be independent. Let's look at the standard of adulthood together. 

Courtesy of Pinterest

Just from pure observation, I can tell you the American dream never died out, at least not entirely. It is considered adulting to own a home, produce children, and get married. If the American dream is to have a white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and a dog we've hit at least 3/4 of it (given that you include a spouse in with the house, kids, and dog). Adulting has changed in a few ways, though. Houses are expensive. Some of us have paid rent to or are paying rent to our parents. 

Another observation I've hit upon has to do with time. Someone I work with said that we make choices with our time and some things fall away (paraphrased). College gave me more time with friends than any other time in my life. If you thought adulthood would provide more time with friends, consider the work and responsibilities you take on (especially with kids in the mix). Work takes up about half your life. You choose what is more important to you and what pet projects you take on with the remaining time. Adulthood is all about time management skills. 

Adulthood Standards 

I'm not looking at marks of maturity, although you should be a mature human being. No, I'm looking at what we're told being an adult is. Society's views on when you are an adult have changed, as well as the age we're told we're adults. It used to be that 15 was adulthood (depending on where you are living). 18-21 is the range of transitioning into an adult and anyone over 21 is allowed anywhere (for better or worse). 

Independence from parents is a huge marker of adulthood. I said it before and I'll say it again. When you can care for yourself you are an adult. Moving out or paying rent to your parents in some way is adulthood. I know people will say "living with parents isn't adulting", but it depends entirely on whether you are living in the space as an individual or leeching liking a freeloader. Leeching isn't adulting. Working a job and paying rent is renting a space, which is not freeloading. Having your own space is great, though, if you can afford it. Housing is so expensive at this point in time that many are living at home because they can't pay for an apartment alone. It isn't uncommon to have one or more roommates to afford your own apartment. I didn't even mention a full house, just an apartment. 

Courtesy of Pinterest

Taking responsibility for yourself is another one. You care for your food, living space, children, social life, relationships, and faith (if you have it). You aren't dependent on parents, relatives, and guardians for money or basic needs. At its core adulting is the ability to care for yourself apart from others. This is even reflected in animals we see in the wild. The ability to continue creating life is a major adulting milestone, as well, and that requires that you care for your own self first. If you can't care for yourself, it isn't likely you can raise a balanced child. 

I'm not going to stress having kids in this space, but yes, that is a marker of adulthood. People pressure that because if we didn't we'd die as a species, and our society pushes us to have families. I know people who plan to adopt and foster because they can't have kids, or they just don't intend to have kids at all. Children or not, you can adult either way. Don't let someone dictate whether you should reproduce or not when they aren't in the relationship. 

Working is an adult burden we all bear. Bringing income into the home used to be mostly a man's work (based on the 1950s standard), but now it is on both genders. Working from home or at a physical building matters not. If income is flowing in you are adulting, no matter if that flow is a drip or a waterfall. We all struggle. You can thank Adam and Eve for that. A passion job can be a great thing to have. There is no shame in a survival job, either. I don't care if you are working at McDonald's; you are still working and that is okay. You can work your way up to where you want to be. You don't start there. 

College is another major milestone that some people choose to accomplish. Again, you don't have to. Trades and going straight into work are still good options. In my case, it helped me transition to full adulthood as I began to enjoy the freedom of making my own decisions and choices, which my parents had already given me once I'd begun college. I grew into who I am now because I went to Malone University and made the decisions I did. It matured my personal faith in Christ as I learned to manage my own faith. I know it isn't for everyone, but it helped me. 

The Transition

Let's dig into a hard subject for a bit. The transition can be smooth, rough, and everywhere in between. It can depend on many factors, one of them being your parents and your education. I happen to know a lot of homeschoolers. The lack of separation between parents and the kids sometimes causes more of a bond to form between parents and kids (whether it forms for one more than the other depends on the situation). It is natural to want more independence as you grow up. Kids in public school or who are sent to school outside the home do have an easier transition into adulthood most of the time. The transition isn't just for the kid; it is also for the parent. Less time together can breed a smoother one because the summer camps, time away with friends, and college slowly transition the parents as much as they do the kid. It is the difference between jumping into the water feet first (homeschool home to adulthood) and walking in slowly (education outside the home to adulthood). 

Courtesy of bouncymustard.com

Adolescence is the in-between state where this begins to happen. Around 10-19 is the current age we see this at. It has been argued that a new life stage has emerged titled "emerging adulthood" that is between adolescence and adulthood. This is characterized by diverse experiences, a lack of long-term commitments, and unstable relationships/employment. I relate to this deeply, as coming out of college is a transition, too. I didn't get married right away after college. I lived with my parents and, in one short period of time, I had three jobs at once. I lost one due to a lack of experience and the fact it was a sinking ship already. I had one for a two-month period while I tried to find the job that ended up being the mentioned sinking ship. I currently work for a church sports ministry part-time and a nursing home kitchen part-time.  A lot of us hold down two jobs. "Emerging adulthood" may be a real category. However, people in their 20s are kind of diverse. Some of us have kids already. I have none, in case you ever wondered, but so many of my friends have reproduced already (before and after marriage). 

I still didn't explain adolescence correctly, though, so let's dive into that. From age 10-19 you start thinking for yourself. Teen and tween ages are placed here. Puberty happens here. You grow fast and want more privacy. This means helicopter parents tend to get backlash or rebellion in this stage of life, and any other type of parent will get this, too. Between the interest in the opposite sex, dating, and striving for more independence any parent will find out that pulling the reigns too tight causes the horse to buck. My mother said this and it was a wise bit of advice. I was given a long leash and independence was encouraged in me. I did buck at times, but all the same I was not the typical rebellious teen they showed in the 80s movies. A lesson can be learned here; give an adolescent space within reason. Short definition? Adolescence is the beginning of thinking for yourself, which can cause clashes in various relationships in the home. 

Conclusion

Adulting is developing as a human, to the point that you can care for yourself and be an independent being. Summed up, society expects you to have a family, a job, an education, and to not depend on parental support. This looks different everywhere. Also, parenting styles can make this transition into adulthood easier or harder. 

What I do need to urgently address is this; adulting is not the same for every human on the planet. Every situation, family, and region is different. Different time periods also parented in more than one style, which immediately impacts the transition into adulthood. The 70s free ranged their kids and the 1950s helicoptered to fit tight standards. 1970s kids probably enjoyed more independence than any kid in the 1950s did.  Today I can't truly say what the overall theme of our parenting style is. Our society does seem to be more aware of mental health concerns, so I do think it changed. We'll see what happens. 

Did you hear? I wrote a suspense novel! It is titled Wrenville and can be bought in Kindle ebook and physical book form. If you're interested click here to reach my Amazon page. 

Sources:

How to be an adult: 6 major markers of adulthood (edlatimore.com)

Emerging Adulthood: The Twenty-Something Stage of Life | Psychology Today

Stages of Adolescence - HealthyChildren.org

Top Parenting Trend Predictions for 2023 - Erica Diamond

Spotlight On Philip Marlowe

 I used to love, and still love, the noir style of Raymond Chandler. Today I'm going to tell you why I love it. This post spotlights one of my favorite detectives - Philip Marlowe - who is the topic of not only books, but radio dramas and movies. 

Courtesy of avclub.com

Who is Philip Marlowe? He's the main detective character that truly paid off for Raymond Chandler. He's gritty, rough around the edges, has a heart, and can't make a marriage work. He's blunt. He's smart enough to put together pieces during cases that become a tangled ball of yarn. Usually, the case is simple, complicates itself with a bunch of murders and other connected cases, and then has a twist ending. I love it. It's dramatic and fun. Radio dramas of the books are the best things to spend an evening with. They only last about an hour and a half, which makes them a good choice for a quick book. 

Some of you may comment with some distaste on the femme fatale, however. I didn't say it was realistic. This is Raymond Chandler writing in the 1940s. At times it sounds like Chandler is fantasizing in his stories (and I could say the same of Ian Fleming's James Bond). I know not all men write women who aren't realistic; lots can write realistic female dialogue and do. In the case of Raymond Chandler, you should be prepared to find dialogue that isn't going to sound like a rational, everyday female. The noir style is full of femme fatales. If you pick up the genre you'll find highly sexualized women behaving like Jessica Rabbit. It was written in the 1940s and was beloved during that time. This is distinctive to the noir style of writing and film. You'll get a gritty detective, cigarettes, alcohol, murder, sketchy morals, and sexualized women. Know what genre you are picking up, ladies and gents. These detectives walk into back alleys in the dark to speak to sources. They also get beat up and drugged in almost every case. 

What Makes Marlowe Great

The best thing about Marlowe is his witty dialogue and descriptions. The cases themselves are, as I said above, tangled balls of yarn. He only has to take a sketchy case from a cagey woman and suddenly he finds that a few people turn up dead in the process. Then said cagey woman will sometimes turn out to be the culprit because they are related to someone or lied to Marlowe through their teeth. You only see what he sees, thus you will get fun descriptions of him being drugged through a cigarette or drink on occasion. 

Let me show you what I mean by witty dialogue. The dialogue below comes from The Big Sleep. All of these are Marlowe speaking to Carmen Sternwood, who is definitely not a sane woman. 

(Carmen Sternwood showing up in Marlowe's bed unasked for)

"I bet you can't even guess how I got in." I dug a cigarette out and looked at her with bleak eyes. 

"I bet I can. You came through the keyhole just like Peter Pan." 

"Who's he?" 
"Oh, a fellow I used to know around the poolroom." 

(Marlowe finding Carmen at a house where she had been found drugged, standing outside it alone)

"Remember me?" I said. "Doghouse Reilly, the man that grew too tall. Remember?" She nodded and a quick jerky smile played across her face. "Let's go in," I said. "I've got a key. Swell, huh?"

(Marlowe speaking to Carmen at the Sternwood home)

"You're cute."

"What you see is nothing," I said. "I've got a Bali dancing girl tattooed on my right thigh."

What I listed is only the tip of the iceberg. He's a sarcasm machine. If you speak sarcasm you'll love Marlowe's dialogue. 

I don't feel the need to give away all the plot twists, mostly because you can read them in one afternoon or listen to them in less than two hours. Seriously, go check these out yourself. The series has been picked up by other authors since Chandler passed on. Poodle Springs is written partially by Chandler and finished by Robert B Parker. Chandler wrote four chapters of the book and died before he could finish writing it. 

The Main Books

While he has short stories out and those are just as good, these are the main Marlowe features in order of first to last, according to bookseriesinorder.com. 

Chandler's books include: 

The Big Sleep - 1939

Farewell My Lovely -1940

The High Window - 1942

The Lady in the Lake -1943

The Little Sister - 1949

The Long Goodbye - 1953

Playback - 1958

Poodle Springs - 1989

Continuations include:

Perchance to Dream (Robert B Parker) - 1991

The Black Eyed Blonde (Benjamin Black) - 2014

Only To Sleep (Lawrence Osborne) - 2018

The Goodbye Coast (Joe Ide) - 2022

I suggest picking it up from the library or hitting up your local bookstore, but do start at the beginning. There are repeat characters that make more sense this way. He gets married at Poodle Springs to a woman shown in  The Long Goodbye and Playback. You have to read The Long Goodbye before you read The Black Eyed Blonde to make sense of the ending. Just go in order. It'll be easier. They are quick reads. 

Raymond Chandler And Ian Fleming

Most of these were published in magazines, which explains the length. Chandler himself was a drinker, which got him fired from his job at Dabney Oil Syndicate. It explains the perspective of Marlowe pretty well. The depression shot him into writing full-time, as he'd had several jobs across the years. These included civil service, the Canadian army, bookkeeping, screenwriting, and vice president of Dabney Oil Syndicate. Some of his Marlowe successes were reworkings of previous short stories (which are obvious once you read the one and then the other). 

Chandler is much like Ian Fleming. He drank. He had his share of troubles. They both have a similar style in one aspect  - the unrealistic dialogue of women and objectifying of women. I also adore the James Bond novels. I have found a different perspective on these two authors. I still like what I read; that won't change. Time passes, as we are all aware of, and cultures change. Fleming's Bond is sometimes outright sexist. Marlowe isn't quite so sexist, but the storyline sounds like a fantasizing man (and Fleming does this, too). Few female characters actually act normal. Some of them fall into Marlowe's lap or bed unasked for. 

Courtesy of The Guardian

The difference between Bond and Marlowe is their reaction to the women in their lives. Marlowe has next to no real relationships in the books. No girlfriends in most of the books, though many kisses. One failed marriage. He cares about people and helps those he can, especially the innocent who have been wronged or abused (like in The High Window). Relationships don't work for him. He's bitter about life and being alone. To his credit, he assumes women have intelligence (when they exhibit sense and intelligence). He doesn't get many sexual favors (but does get kisses) and turns some offers away (like Carmen Sternwood). When he does get sex, he ruins it by saying something he shouldn't or interrogating the woman he just made love to. Smooth, Marlowe, real smooth. His thoughts about women are cynical, like he's been hurt by someone. Perhaps, the author of the books has. 

Now we talk about Bond. Bond's thoughts toward women make me want to throw my book across the room, and yet I'm still reading it. I would go pick it up to continue my chapter after a long rant about why Bond should stop fantasizing and end the short story realistically. Bond will refer to a woman as a "silly bitch", which erks me to no end. I collect these books, just like I collect the Marlowe books. James Bond is not Marlowe, though both objectify women. Bond has countless, fruitless relationships and lots of sex. These two men are not the same. The tone is also far less cynical. The genre makes a difference. It isn't Noir. It is a spy novel thriller. Same umbrella, but a different subcategory. 

To be fair, these are written in the 1940s and the 1950s, after a war that displaced a lot of men. The depression didn't help, either. Every author pours themselves into their main character in some capacity. Marlowe is no different. We know Chandler crawled into a bottle from time to time, and so does Marlowe. Did Chandler feel hurt by women? Did he feel like he was looking through a glass wall at others' happiness? It's distinctly possible. We just know that he wasn't a completely happy man. I can say the same for Fleming, who had trouble transitioning from wartime espionage to post-war life when he was writing James Bond, and he, too, crawled into a bottle. Perhaps that's why I get hints of similar themes in their work. 

Oh, and did you think I'd forget I wrote a suspense novel? Here is the QR code to get to my website and the link to my amazon page. Wrenville, a novel about a private detective hiding from a previous case, is available in ebook and physical form. 

Amazon Listing of Wrenville here

Sources:

Raymond Chandler - Biography - IMDb

Famous drinkers: Raymond Chandler | Raymond Chandler | The Guardian

Raymond Chandler in the age of #MeToo. (slate.com)

Wrenville Book Signing!

 I'm having a book signing on March 11th! Find me at the Carrollton Library from 10 am to 12 pm noon. 

That's right, I'm doing a book signing for Wrenville! I am beyond excited. I'll be selling books, signing books, and greeting the people in my hometown library. 

From 10 am to 12 pm noon I'll be signing and selling books at the Carroll County District Library. The address is: 70 Second St NE Carrollton, OH 44615

The library tells me they'll provide light refreshments and I will be providing homemade, crocheted bookmarks with every book you buy. I'm selling the physical copy of the book for 15 dollars, but if you prefer the ebook (approx. 6 dollars) I will have a QR code on the table that leads you to my website, where you can immediately find the link to the Amazon page. If you want the book now, click here.

Full disclosure, I want an excuse to use up all my excess mini balls of yarn. Give me a reason to lovingly make you all bookmarks. I need your support. Share this post with everyone you know. I want to leave with no books on the table, if at all possible. 

Let me know if you are coming in the comments below. I can't wait to meet you all. I will sign more than just books if you bring something for me to sign. 

This leads to my website. (cathybakerauthor.zyrosite.com)

Thornton Hall Theory - Who Haunted Thornton Hall?

This blog is for all those Nancy Drew fans who loved the game Ghost of Thornton Hall, which reminds me; this blog actively includes spoilers for the whole game. Please play before you read, if you intend to play the game spoiler-free. 

Courtesy of Youtube.com

Again, this is your last warning. Don't spoil a game for yourself if you don't have to. You can come back later. 

Is everyone else ready to discuss Charlotte? Great! Let's get into it. The plot of this game is simple. A woman has gone missing while having her bachelorette party at a property haunted by Charlotte Thornton. The search for this woman is going differently than planned. Nancy is sent by a previous character (Savannah Woodham) to go check it out. 

Today's post is about the ghost we repeatedly see in the game, Charlotte Thornton. She died in a fire the night of her 21st birthday ball. This takes place in the south. There are three theories as to what she is, all of which I'll explore in detail. The end game (I warned you!) claims Charlotte was the result of carbon monoxide gas (which messed with your mind post-seeing her picture). Most of us don't buy that entirely, but we'll see what the evidence says. 

Theory one says Harper Thornton, the surviving younger sister of Charlotte, is tormenting Clara Thornton (cousin to Charlotte) because she did the crime (she did set the fire). The idea is that Harper is using the secret passages to scare her into a confession. Clara has also tormented Harper mentally to keep her secret, which explains some game events where Harper takes pleasure in messing with Clara in outright mean ways. 

Theory two says it was carbon monoxide. Before you shout your opposing remarks, I'll be showing you real hauntings proven to be carbon monoxide poisonings, not hauntings. Let's look at the scientific evidence and what the game shows us, then we can talk about the possibility Nancy was hallucinating some of the time. 

Theory three says she's real, a bonified ghost that has business to attend to. This is the popular theory since Charlotte does lead us to clues revealing the truth of her death. Some hauntings happen outside the house, which point to this theory being at least half true. The carbon monoxide theory follows the logic that the furnace Harper started caused the carbon monoxide and the end-game fire, but it won't explain the times our ghost shows up in the ruins - twice. Or the statue's head turning in the cemetery. 

Harper Did It -Theory One

This one I don't entertain, mostly due to the reaction you get from Harper by merely suggesting it. Harper loved her sister. On top of that, most times the culprit wearing a costume stows the costume away somewhere. Herinteractive games love disproving ghosts and show you the costume if it exists. Could Harper throw on a dress from Charlotte's room? Sure, since she's in the passages, but the game won't show us a costume anywhere. I refuse to believe that the game developers who love disproving ghosts wouldn't show us a costume if Harper were to blame. 

On the other hand, you do find a film with Charlotte in it, which could be projected anywhere. But the hangup lies in rigging the house. Did she have time? Yes, Harper would have, but again, you find no evidence of a rigged haunting. While Jessalyn could have put on that dress from Charlotte's room (Harper's hair is quite untamed), the see-through ghost would need to be rigged to be faked. These games all love disproving ghosts. They would show you how the house was set up to be faked if it was a faked haunting. Not one shot in the game reveals a rigged room or a costume.

The motive is real on this one. Clara set the fire and Harper saw her do it. Many events are proving how much Harper has been mentally abused through time. Ask Harper if she pushed Clara off the widow's walk and watch the reaction. She won't fess up to it. I don't believe she did. There is a theory going around suggesting that Clara attempted suicide and failed, then covered up her attempt by framing Harper. Harper maintains she went to a mental hospital and Clara says she didn't. The film in the ruins is planted by Harper, who wants Nancy to reenact Clara's reaction because she thought it'd be funny. It isn't, especially when you consider the guilt Clara is feeling over her past actions. Harper was mentally tormented and framed by Clara. She tells you to ask Clara who her daddy is, which is heartless given Clara begged to know and was never told. You tell Harper you upset Clara after that and she'll say "she's done worse to me". It breaks my heart what happened to Harper. The motive to torment her as a ghost is there, but the evidence says no. 

Carbon Monoxide - Theory Two

I'm going to shock you. This is possible. First, look at the symptoms of carbon monoxide poisoning, according to the Mayo Clinic. 

Symptoms: dull headache, weakness, dizziness, nausea and vomiting, shortness of breath, confusion, blurred vision, passing out, drowsiness

Do these sound like Nancy during the game? Yes, they do. She passes out at least three times and talks to her friends in a less-than-normal conversation style. They get worried about her. Her vision does blur at times. Carbon monoxide is odorless, tasteless, and colorless, and is produced by burning things found in an old furnace. When improperly ventilated in a small space it accumulates to highly dangerous levels. Harper put everyone in danger the entire game. It is dangerous if you sleep in this environment, which Nancy does. Oops. It stays in your bloodstream and builds up, which may explain the outside hauntings. Did Nancy hallucinate the entire game? Maybe she did. Nancy only sees Charlotte as the picture in the book, and only after you read the book do you see her. 

Courtesy of Pinterest

Do you want proof of hauntings proven to be carbon monoxide? I've got it. There are documented hauntings that have been explained by hallucinations in toxic houses. This American Life Podcast explored one where a woman saw people at the foot of her bed, her bedcovers were pulled off of her, she felt followed and there were footsteps from unknown sources. Her brother then got checked for carbon monoxide poisoning. A faulty furnace - yep, the same source as this game- was to blame. You can see all kinds of things when you are slowly being poisoned. Hallucinations? Yep, it fits. And check my sources for even more stories about hauntings caused by carbon monoxide on the brain.  

On top of all this, the house burns down because of the furnace. It kind of explains why Harper is so ill and erratic, as if she wasn't thrown off balance by life already. 

She's Real - Theory Three

The proof that this may be a real ghost lies in Savannah sending Nancy instead of going herself. The witness accounts didn't all include the house. Odd. Not everyone lit the furnace. Not everyone explored the house. So, this leads to the conclusion that maybe not all ghost sightings are toxin fueled. 

Another thing that bothers me is the way Charlotte leads you to the crypt key. A hallucination wouldn't do that. She wanted Nancy to find the truth. Then there is a second chance ending that really freaks me out. If you refuse to cooperate with Jessalyn she actually sics the ghost on you. What?! And Charlotte comes when she's called! I call that proof of a real ghost. 

The shadows you see and the sightings in the house that lead to nothing (but Nancy passing out) may be hallucinations, but the instances that lead you to clues I am sure are not. What could be an egging on for Nancy to check out the bedroom was the door opening and closing. 

Another sign it could be a real ghost is the end of the game fire. Say it wasn't just the furnace and the ghost wanted Clara to die. It's possible. Now that Nancy had the will Charlotte could take everything from her, including her life. At any rate, it caused a confession to fall from Clara's lips in a desperate plea of "I'm sorry" and "I sat at your grave for a year". Post-fire the island's gloom lifts, which indicates the ghost may have finished her business on earth. Wade tells you that on the brightest summer day the island is just as gloomy. Post-fire you see the sunshine on the island. I think that speaks volumes. 

Conclusions

I believe that two theories are the answer. I think Nancy is seeing the real ghost and the hallucinated one in the same mystery. She exhibits symptoms of carbon monoxide poisoning that many others have. Everyone was seeing things, remember that. Clara would know what she'd done and expect a confrontation from the ghost, so it stands to reason she'd hallucinate one. It didn't help that Harper was leaving little nuggets for Nancy to find and show Clara. It would only feed that. 

What do you think? Leave your comments below and tell me what you think about Charlotte Thornton's haunting. 

Oh, and before you leave the page...                                                       

 The link to buy my book in                                                                                                                                ebook and physical                                                                                                                                  form: https://a.co/d/9eNOsjE

Courtesy of imgflip.com

Sources:

Ghosts might be caused by carbon monoxide - Ghosts, Hauntings and The Paranormal - Unexplained Mysteries Discussion Forums (unexplained-mysteries.com)

Carbon monoxide poisoning - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic

Famous Ghost Stories That Turned Out to Be Fakes (insider.com)

Ghosts In Haunted Houses Might Be Caused By Carbon Monoxide Leaks (thevintagenews.com

The REAL reasons why some people see ghosts, according to experts | The Sun)

Carbon Monoxide Poisoning Causes Spooky Sightings - Woman's World (womansworld.com)

Bookended Films

I have film suggestions (and one play suggestion) that use the bookend technique. What is that, you ask? Think about how some films end and begin with a similar sequence or shot, like two bookends. It gives closure to the audience. Today I'll illustrate the concept using movies and one play that executes this wonderfully.

Courtesy of Lionsgate

I'm going to begin by listing the movies I am using for illustration purposes. You will find spoilers in this post for all these films and the one play I reference. In one case, three Simon Pegg films are referenced as a set (because they are a set, technically) since they use the same bookending technique in their dialogue. The movies and play I'm using will be:

Knives Out, Frankenweenie, Hot Fuzz and Shawn of the Dead and At World's End, White Christmas, Cabaret

You have been warned! Watch these before you proceed, should you want to be surprised by Knives Out or Hot Fuzz, which are mysteries. Either way, they are fantastic. 

A lot of bookending techniques can be seen as foreshadowing. Mysteries are full of bookend elements. Not all these bookend movies are mysteries, but at least two are. When we say foreshadowed we mines well have said bookended. 

This technique can be used via dialogue, visual elements, settings, and situations. In several movies, the same dialogue at the beginning and end can mean two different things, but be worded verbatim. Objects will show up in scenes that were featured in previous scenes. Set pieces may appear twice. 

Knives Out

The movie is set up brilliantly. The basic plot is this; Benoit Blanc is investigating the death of Harlan Thrombey, a prominent mystery writer who has, according to authorities, committed suicide. It complicates from here and I won't go into it. I'll try not to tell you the culprit in this section. You might deduce it logically from here. I just won't say the name directly. 

I did a watch-and-blog approach for this film specifically. It has so much detail to it that I had to. First off, we see a mug that says "my house, my rules, my coffee!!" come into the second shot in the film. At the end, Marta is holding that mug (the last shot of the film). This is bookending visually. Another visual bookend could be the knives chair seen during the interviews, which the culprit pulls a knife from at the end, in the same room. 

This may just be a plot point, but the game that Harlan played with his daughter (the code on paper shown early in the film) is one of the elements of the last scene of the film (when Linda reads the note she finds on Harlan's desk). This is definitely something, because "You tell her or I will" is a part of the dialogue early in the film when Linda's husband is being questioned. Harlan did tell Linda of her husband's affair, even after his death, which is a bookend closure situation. Richard opens it to find it blank, but it all had to do with the game Harlan played with Linda. 

Yet another bookend is the case of who hired Benoit Blanc, which is only solved in the next-to-last scene (when the true culprit is revealed). This one is self-explanatory. Another little nugget is the inability to lie causes Marta to throw up in the first interview with Benoit Blanc and then the last scene, where she lies to the culprit about a phone call result. That may be nothing, though. 

In Marta's flashback of what truly happened that night, there are several examples of bookending, such as the "not knowing a real knife from a stage prop" dialogue and the medication being identified correctly despite the label mishap or a missing label. The knife is important because our true culprit (who stole the antidote meds) picked up a prop knife and tried to kill Marta in the second to last scene (and is directly referenced in the same sentence as the prop knife). The medication is simply the closure of the mystery and the proof that Marta did nothing wrong. Lots of mysteries are bookended for simple closure reasons. Even the conversation about how "in ten minutes" Harlan would die "if someone switched the meds on purpose" is bookending since that is what was intended to happen. This movie's script was cleverly written, giving you the solution early in the film under your nose. Harlan figured out the murder method himself. Later Marta also hears that Fran has a relative in the medical examiner's office, which gets mentioned at the end reveal, as well as Fran's stash, referenced early in the film. Nana seeing everything is also bookended since our detective talks to her later on. Ransom saying only the help calls him Hugh is another instance where it makes an impact on the ending. 

Frankenweenie

Is this one really bookended? Yes, just look at the film that the main character made. It mirrors the ending, where all the kids' pets being brought back to life causes Godzilla-like chaos in the town. His dog Sparky saves the day by taking out the flying bat-cat (much like a furry pterodactyl). His dog even dies and comes to life all over again. This is foreshadowed first thing in the movie, literally, the first scene you see. Soon after the first scene you will see the dog get hit by a car and later brought back to life. The middle of the movie is just him hiding Sparky. 

Let me break it down. No, actually, let me show you the end and beginning scenes together. Watch the first scene, then one of the last. It isn't exact, but the scenario itself is extremely close. 

Simon Pegg Films

Hot Fuzz, At World's end, and Shawn of the Dead are a series of parody films. They are all starring Simon Pegg. They all include references to Point Break, but they also do the same bookending in every single one. The beginning dialogue and end dialogue are near exact. The tone is never the same as the first instance of the phrase.  One parody is an alien movie, one is a buddy cop film, and one is a zombie movie. It's best that I show you what I mean. 

These are brilliant. I can't explain it any better than these videos already do. I love all three of these films, but most of all Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead. Let me just add a video about the third film before I move on. 

See what I mean? These are written to be like this. Same formula. 

Cabaret

This one is a musical, one that focuses on several characters, and yet, it is all about the Nazi party taking over. The Nazi party destroys everyone in the musical until no one is okay. If you're looking for a light musical you might want to skip this one tonight. It is on this list because one song is sung twice in two different tones. The opening and closing songs have the same lyrics. 

The video below is the first opening song. Listen to it first.

And now watch this.

The idea is that the Nazis in Germany killed everyone's happiness. I watched this one live at the Players Guild. It had a female narrator instead of a gay man narrator (the one singing), but I actually liked that spin. If you didn't know, homosexuals were killed along with Jews under Nazi reign. So, if you didn't understand that last video you now know. I think the contrast in songs makes everything quite clear. The whole show paints the entire picture. It happens slowly, with subtle changes taking place as the plot continues. It is so much better performed live, though. See it live. Spring for the theatre tickets.

White Christmas

Why this one? Simple, the Major General. The set piece at the end and the whole unit returning to honor the Major General make this bookended. They sing to him in both scenes.  They don't throw that in just because they can. There is a reason we begin with the scene honoring the Major General. Take a look at the scene below. 

This next song is at the end.

This is the same tone, which makes it unlike Cabaret, but it is the same song. It's heartwarming. This one is good to watch when Christmas rolls around. 

I released a book! 

Have you heard? I have released Wrenville after a year of editing! I am ecstatic. Check out my book at this amazon link. It is available in paperback and Kindle ebook. Leave a review if you read it. I can't wait for all of you blog readers to enjoy it. Below is a celebratory meme and a blurb about my new book. Happy reading!

Courtesy of memegenerator.net

Sources:

https://www.proz.com/kudoz/kog-to-lan/cinema-film-tv-drama/6755216-bookend-technique.html

Family Friendly Through The Years

 If I said I had a family-friendly movie to bring to a family gathering, what do you picture? While I'm sure you don't expect me to bring Game of Thrones or Fifty Shades of Grey to the party, you definitely don't expect me to bring a 1930s short film showing black stereotypes in a blatantly offensive way. My point is this; it all depends on the year you are currently living in. 

Courtesy of weareunheard.com

Some films and cartoons age poorly as the culture changes. Most of us cringe at old media showing racial and gender stereotypes that no longer fit the culture we have been raised in. Fun for the whole family thirty years ago is different from what it is in 2023. Let's talk about the family-friendly rating and how it has changed. 

First, we all need to know what "family-friendly" is defined as. Law Insider says this:

"Family Friendly with respect to any Entertainment Property, Consumer Product or other Content, means that such Entertainment Property, Consumer Product or other Content is targeted to and reasonably appropriate for family audiences and consumers. Without limiting the generality of the foregoing, a Motion Picture or a Television Motion Picture will not be deemed to be Family Friendly if it would receive a rating more restrictive than “G” or “PG” under the rating standards used by the Motion Picture Association of America (regardless of whether such Motion Picture or Television Motion Picture is actually submitted to the Motion Picture Association of America for rating)."

Short scan version, it has to be targeted to families and be no more than PG or G rated. G contains nothing that would offend the parents of the child and the child could watch it on their own with no worries about inappropriate content. PG means parental guidance needs to be exercised and some inappropriate content could show up, so young children may not be able to watch this without their parents. 

As you can see, what is and isn't offensive depends on the era and time period we are living in. This is why you should probably do research before you judge a generation's film you don't relate to. You don't know what they find shocking. The film trend I'm seeing is the trend of darker media. While I do think making media too brightly ignorant of the outside world is bad, the reverse of that is bad too. There is a spectrum of dark to light and I feel you need both to make a good film. That opinion aside, let's get into it. 

What was family-friendly in the past

Starting in 1920, we have the radio that the family could sit around. Everyone sat around and listened to it as leisure time became more common in the home. Shows like Amos N' Andy were well liked, but now we'd probably cringe at the negative stereotypes toward black people. Around this time there was also The All Negro Hour (the actual title, or else I wouldn't be using the word). This included all African-American entertainers, which was a step toward better representation of the black community. Speaking of, jazz and swing music started playing on the radio, along with the blues and ragtime. Same community, as you might have guessed. 

The radio was targeted at everyone. The media we have today is not. Radio shows and dramas were common forms of entertainment. Remember, your TV didn't exist at this point in time. The only films you could see were at movie theatres. What should be remembered is that they were also transitioning from silent to talking pictures, which means they added sound.  Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Laurel and Hardy, and several others took over the film stage. What a lot of families probably flocked to were comedies, epics, and westerns, as well as those new talkies. Everyone went to the movies. It was a fun activity for all ages. This era does have a category for dirty films, but I'm almost positive they were only viewed in private locations. I'm also pretty sure they wouldn't have let them play in a full movie theatre for all ages during this time period.

Next we hit the 1930s. The depression wasn't great, but families still had their fun. Radio and movie theatres were still going strong. The Talkies were beginning about now. To be clear, the TV is here in 1939. Sports games and fun contests were common ways to entertain the family. Media by our definition is limited. 

I'm moving to the 40s due to the fact entertainment didn't change much. Lighthearted films started to darken around this period of time. War does that. Artists began experimenting with new ideas. The film noir style made its way to theatres and was a hit. Radio was still major. Comic books and books, in general, are popular. Digital media changed, but the form they came in didn't. TV did exist, but it wasn't the most popular way to spend an evening, and it was probably expensive.

Noir style books and films have a distinct style, one that is cynical and sexual. It is all about suspense, shadows, and mostly pessimistic main characters. I love the Marlowe books. Philip Marlowe fits this style like a glove. The one thing that does bother me upon rereading the books is the way the women talk in the books and are portrayed. You can tell a man was fantasizing when he wrote it. Femme Fatale is the term for a seductive, dangerous woman. These characters show up and behave in scandalous ways. Case in point, Carmen Sternwood from "The Big Sleep" (1939) propositions Marlowe by getting into his apartment. He comes into his bedroom to find she's in it naked. He makes her leave, but she later attempts to kill him because he rejected her. Femme Fatales don't behave like most women you've met. In fact, I doubt most real women would do anything they do. Given that Noir films toned down some of the books, I'm sure kids could watch this. The scene referenced was never put in the film, but can be found in radio broadcasts of the book. All the same, this maybe shouldn't be marketed toward kids who might imitate it - both genders included. 

1950 is when the TV comes into play. Everything on that TV was seen by the entire family, so - much like radio and theaters - it was not going to publicly play pornography and graphic content (though I have no doubts about pornography being in existence). You'll notice a theme before computers, which is the fact most entertainments were in person and face-to-face. TV, radio, and movie theaters bargained on the whole family coming together. TV shows in this era included I Love Lucy, The Honeymooners, The Price Is Right, Leave It To Beaver, The Today Show, and The Mickey Mouse Club. Westerns hit their peak at the end of the era. This development hit movie theaters and book sales hard. People worried we were becoming "couch potatoes". It isn't unwarranted to think that even today. Bring a book into a public space and see how many people come up to you thinking you are lonely or bored. TV still competes with book sales. 

I used to call this era "the groupthink era". The cold war was impacting entertainment, forcing comics to become more good vs. evil, rather than varied genres. It also limited what could and couldn't be broadcasted everywhere. People were actively being controlled by propaganda and the media gatekeepers (those that approve what is and isn't broadcasted). Creativity got held back and you can blame the red scare for that. 

Rock and roll took off as teens listened to it and parents tried unsuccessfully to stop them. The drive-in movie theatres were doing well, playing movies that teens liked. Some of those films fed right into the propaganda. After the devastation of war, everybody wanted normal, which led to rigid social boundaries being reinforced by all kinds of media. It was not a shock to see the next generation become so free-spirited post-cold war era. We cringe at 1950s media today and sometimes forget that people were being controlled by expectations, expectations media policed actively. We mock it, but it was meant to be serious.

1960s media completely let go of all the rigid social expectations and embraced freedom of thought, which means family-friendly is no longer a strict standard. Helicopter parenting was not common here. Parodies became a category of media. The western theme continued onward in Bonanza. People asked questions more and became more liberal. The Vietnam war and other factors from the previous era produced more rebellious younger generations. The media of the time reflects this. Politics were all over the TV content. Theaters were more or less replaced by TV living rooms. As politics swarmed the screen, drug use and freestyle living became more popular, since it seemed the world was self-destructing anyways (sound familiar?). Aside from that, you could also catch Star Trek, Twilight Zone, musical variety shows, sitcoms, old movies, dramas, or Saturday morning cartoons.

Let's talk parodies. I've watched one called Support Your Local Sheriff that made fun of the western trends and cliches. There is a whole list of parodies from the 1960s. The Pink Panther starring a character named Inspector Clouseau came out in March of 1964. We still watch these movies. Families were enjoying Mary Poppins, How The Grinch Stole Christmas, The Sound of Music, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, The Absentminded Professor, It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, and 101 Dalmations. All these are generally lighthearted and silly. Conclusion? People wanted to laugh and smile. Dark content was not in the family-friendly category as far as I can tell. A lot of adult jokes probably made it into G and PG-rated films.

TV took over everything by the 1970s. TVs were in color and music players (Sony Walkmans) were new. The civil rights movement made black entertainment in any form rise up. Except for the "blaxploitation" films, which were rejected completely by black communities. Disco and punk rock rose up from the New York Underground. The Godfather drew people back into theaters at a time when they were struggling (again, sound familiar?). Jaws and Star Wars dominated several other films at the box office soon after. Not much else to report on this era. Disney, as usual, made a killing in children's content. Based on what was rated G and PG I see musicals and comedy still reign supreme, as well as westerns. It is hard to say whether any 1960s standards changed, which is a sign that it didn't change much.

The 80s were a time of bright colors and parachute pants. CDs, which are now less popular than before, were new. They are still here with us, though. VHS was also a major source of entertainment. The idea of portable music became even more popular through more devices that were a bit bulkier. My family used to have a Blockbuster in our town. It is gone forever now, and to think they could have teamed up with Netflix. Anyway, Blockbuster debuted in this era. Home video marketing and special effects in films were getting noticed and loved. Movies got a boost in popularity due to the ability to watch them at home. (We just got lazier from here.) 

Sitcoms and the 80s go hand in hand. We are still entertained by those sitcoms. MASH, Seinfeld, Knight Rider, The Cosby Show, Cheers, Golden Girls, and The Fresh Prince of Bel Air are all 80s sitcoms we still like to binge-watch. Another trend that continues is arcades, the elder relatives of modern-day video games. They were around in previous eras, yet here we find arcades are beloved hangouts. This was also the beginning of computers and cell phones. This era has what some people call the mooks and midriffs. It is a phrase used for boys acting like fools and women wearing half-shirts. It taught boys to be huge goofballs and women to wear less clothes (because they looked cool at party scenes in movies). The mook sometimes got the girl in the films, further encouraging the behavior (which may be in the 9o's too). It has gotten increasingly harder to pinpoint what is actually G or PG. Only one sitcom in the previous list is going to be marketed family friendly, maybe three. Nearly all of them include sex jokes somewhere in them. Subtle jokes were hidden for the adults and went over the heads of the kids, but yet some of these weren't subtle. Yet, families felt they could watch these together. Anything broadcasted over the air had to meet a standard. There is a standard for all these, thus they were all approved by somebody. 

The 80's blended right into the 90's, which held a particularly interesting cartoon called Rocko's Modern Life. The actual creators of the show have openly admitted that they made it a personal goal to cram as much past the censor as possible. You can tell the censor started to give up. Nickelodeon has tried to ditch and ban the worst examples of this lack of censorship. People, naturally, have found them anyway. 

Another note to be made is that Kim Possible and many women around her wear Midriffs. Ron and Kim fit the Midriff and Mook stereotype. I didn't think about that until today. Other shows include Recess, Rugrats, Hey Arnold, Ren and Stimpy, Doug, Catdog, Pokemon, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Powerpuff Girls, Dexter's Laboratory, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Johnny Bravo, Arthur, Ed, Edd, and Eddy, The Wild Thornberrys, A Pup Named Scooby Doo, Cow and Chicken, and Captain Planet. I'm not even listing all of them. Cartoons took off like nobody's business. Most of the time kids watched these on Saturday mornings and after school. Some of these got weird, like Rocko's Modern Life. Courage the dog was something I was never sure of. Johnny from Johnny Bravo was constantly hitting on women and not getting any. Dexter and the Powerpuff Girls were kind of bizarre. I vaguely remember the character Doug sitting upside down on a park bench, but couldn't tell you much else about the show (I was far too young to understand much of it). Captain Planet is a weird superhero trying to save the planet in the cheesiest way possible (with kids that look like they came off the magic school bus and grew up into tweens). Recess and Hey Arnold were some of the staples of my childhood. In retrospect, a lot of these are kind of weird and explain why my childhood brain was so weird. Ed, Edd, and Eddy is quite odd - yet when you have no brain power it is still funny. A lot of these require no brain, which means the family can sit and relax together - unless it is just so odd you are not allowed to watch it (cough cough, my husband's childhood). In retrospect, history has shown us cartoons get a lot of dirty jokes past censors, especially in the 90s. 

Adult cartoons began here. Do you like Rick and Morty? You can thank the early adult cartoons for it. South Park debuted in this era.  Family Guy and Simpsons also came out. 

And now I stop here, because this is too long already. Oh, and I wrote a book! 

If you want to check out my book "Wrenville" the link is here. It is available in paperback and kindle ebook version. 

Sources:

Family Friendly Definition | Law Insider

Movie Ratings Explained and Why is a Movie Rated PG-13? (movieguys.org)

1920s Radio and Music in America • FamilySearch

Acting Career Highlights Then and Now: 1920s vs. 2020s Hollywood (academyart.edu)

Great Depression: Entertainment for Kids (ducksters.com)

Top 10 stars from the 'silent era' of the 1920s (thevintagenews.com)

The 1920s Arts and Entertainment: Overview | Encyclopedia.com

The 1940s Arts and Entertainment: Overview | Encyclopedia.com

The 1950s Family: Structure, Values and Everyday Life | LoveToKnow

1950s: TV and Radio | Encyclopedia.com

Entertainment | National Museum of American History (si.edu)

Key Facts About Family Life in the 1960s | LoveToKnow

The 1970s Arts and Entertainment: Overview | Encyclopedia.com

Family through the years - 1970's - Kids Need Both Parents (knbp.co.uk)

7 Entertainment Trends from the '80s (rediscoverthe80s.com)

Family through the years - 1980's - Kids Need Both Parents (knbp.co.uk)

The Best Parody/Spoofs of the 1960s - Flickchart

'60s Family Movies | List of Best 1960s family Films (ranker.com)

120 Of The Coolest '90s Cartoons You Might Want To Rewatch | Bored Panda

How to use social media correctly

 I feel like social media is not being used in the way it was intended, much like every invention in the long history of inventions. Today I revisit what it was for, as well as what we shouldn't be doing with it. 

Photo courtesy of dlpa.com.au

It was not intended as a way to attack people, harass people, stalk people, turn a country against itself, manipulate someone, or otherwise harm people emotionally. Yet, we can see proof of all this happening in our social media. Let's think about that for a beat. Pause and reflect on what we have recently used our social media to do. 

The intention was to connect with others and make it easier to communicate, all while sharing cute photos of animals and sharing about our lives. Connection with others was the original intention of social media. It has become entertainment, too, but depending on the entertainment form that isn't all bad. Hamsters, dad jokes, games, and other innocent forms of fun are not bad things. Jokes that harm others in the process, however, are not funny. Making a difference for a cause is not a bad thing, either, as long as you don't become entirely obnoxious about it, which actually harms your cause more than furthering it.

Why has it become a dangerous place? Simple, the human race has the potential to be good or evil and most are a mix of both (which is actually proven quite quickly by observation). We aren't perfect.  As a direct result, we see that some good things have become tainted and are used for evil rather than good. The anonymity of the internet spurs some people to do what they wouldn't ever do face-to-face. That isn't good. The deep web and a few history lessons can prove that there is nothing new under the sun. 

Social Media Ups and Downs

The original purpose was a connection, plain and simple. What we see now is not only scammers, politicians, and creepers, but the comparison game (which is yet another thing that isn't anything new to humanity). Cyberbullying is also in existence and they have to make new laws to adjust the legal system as a direct result. Law enforcement has a cyber division in place for stuff like this, and the law can't do all that much if you've been scammed. You can report scammers, though, and you should. 

The other issue here is addiction to social media. I use it for my blog and writing career, as well as connecting to my friends and family who live a distance away. I find that scrolling wastes precious time I could be using to do other things, like consuming my vast collection of books and enjoying my hobbies outside of my devices. Yet, I catch myself scrolling. It takes writing time from me. My resolution this year is to only use my devices when I need them for a purpose, which has resulted in me finding the time I didn't know I had. Try it and see what you think about it. I promise that it is indeed worth it. 

The different aspects of social media have bright and shadow sides. For instance, DMing (direct messaging) can be a positive way to plan an event with a friend and catch up with someone. Or it can be a way scammers take money from you, a bully belittles you, or you get hit on by people who friended you because you were pretty. Look up Charlotte Dobre on Youtube and you'll find the shadow side quickly. Apparently, the human race can use anything incorrectly (and I do include myself in that statement). 

What We Should Do With It

Most of us are on social media, whether we want new ideas for a crochet project, need character inspiration, or simply need to ask what yesterday's math homework page was. It is incredibly useful. We should be using it to encourage one another and connect with those we love. Keep sharing those art ideas and writing prompts. Keep those small businesses going. Share those small authors out on your social media accounts (hint, hint, wink, wink). Talk about your favorite moments and chat with your friends. Make plans with your loved ones. The point is this; life is too short not to love the people around you and encourage each other. 

Courtesy of Pinterest

We should all be careful what we post, too. There are people out there who are out to hurt you. Yes, that means you. Scammers exist, bullies exist, and predators exist. This is serious. Don't post personal information online for them to see. As for scammers, this is what experts suggest. Double-check your facts before giving anyone your money for any service or reading out any account numbers to anyone. 

1. Keep an eye out for any contact from businesses, especially the social security administration or IRS. 

2. Is it coming out of nowhere unprompted by you? Hang up/stop messaging and go to the official website of that business (or call). It will debunk the scammer quickly. 

3. Are they pushing you to do it NOW? Stop and think. Most scammers want you to rush and not think clearly. 

4. Be aware of misspellings and grammar mistakes. Yes, some people don't do grammar well, but broken English is a common trait of a scammer (though some people who aren't scammers do speak broken English).

5. Refusal to appear on camera or in person is never a good sign. You may be dating a scammer.

6. A price too good to be true can be just that. Verify what you are buying.

7. Easy money is never easy money. Don't deposit a check for anyone. Don't buy iTunes, Amazon, or Google Play cards for anyone. Lottery prizes that require payment upfront are a scam. 

8. Unusual forms of payment are a dead giveaway. Reread number 7. 

Report all frauds here: ReportFraud.ftc.gov

I do not suggest scamming a scammer back or messing with scammers. Just report them and block them. I know people do both of those things, but please don't risk it. The fraud division will handle it. 

 

Anonymity can shield the predators in the world. You can pretend to be anyone online. It is too easy to fake. If you think someone isn't who they say they are, go through that list of scammer signs and check all that apply. 

What You Shouldn't Do

Common courtesy says if you wouldn't say it to their face you shouldn't be posting it online. It is as bad as talking behind someone's back, only so much worse. You literally made a problem between two people everyone else's problem and humiliated the person involved. Don't throw more daggers in someone's back. Solve it privately and move on. 

Courtesy of pearlsandpantsuits.com

Arguing online is fruitless. Politics, taste in fashion, whether someone is vegan or not, opinions on literally anything... No one goes online for that, and if they do they are looking for content to react to. If you'd like to see yourself on Youtube go ahead, but I doubt that'll look good. Seldom does commenting with your own agenda in mind work out well. It never comes across the right way if you are pushy about something. That makes most of us take two or more steps back and distance ourselves. Calmly state if you have a concern in private, please. 

Posting any sort of relationship or family issue publicly is the wrong thing to do. Please remember that every passive-aggressive public post is another dagger in someone's back. That is another wrong you have to right later in life. Maybe at the end of all the drama, they cut you off, declaring you a toxic person. Do you want to risk that? No. You also make a fool of yourself in others' eyes by doing this. You don't need to be attacked by another person to make a public fool of yourself. 

It goes without saying that you shouldn't be using it as a weapon to divide or harm others. Catfishing (faking an identity online) is also wrong. Stalking online is a sticky issue as social media becomes easier and easier to stalk people with. The legal definition of online stalking is this according to Privacyrights.org: 

"Online harassment may involve threatening or harassing emails, instant messages, or posting information online. It targets a specific person either by directly contacting them or by disseminating their personal information, causing them distress, fear, or anger.

Cyberstalking is a type of online harassment that involves using electronic means to stalk a victim, and generally refers to a pattern of threatening or malicious behaviors.  All states have anti-stalking laws, but the legal definitions vary. Some state laws require that the perpetrator make a credible threat of violence against the victim. Others require only that the stalker’s conduct constitute an implied threat."

Look it up based on your state. A quick google search can give you everything you need to know, given that you read a credible website. Check facts. Make sure you are on a credible site. 

Social Media Addiction

An addiction to social media is defined by the Addiction Center as:

"Social media addiction is a behavioral addiction that is defined by being overly concerned about social media, driven by an uncontrollable urge to log on to or use social media, and devoting so much time and effort to social media that it impairs other important life areas."

Keep in mind, we all scroll at times. You say you'll give it a quick check in case your husband messaged back about dinner and suddenly you're looking at a cute video of a hamster in a doll house bathtub. If you looked at my social media you'd find more hamster videos like it because they are the cutest creatures ever, but that is here nor there. The point is addiction has to interfere with daily life. Me stopping to watch a hamster play in sand may derail my work day for two minutes, but it doesn't stop me from going about my day and beginning work again. 

Courtesy of adosefromdrdenise.com

Signs of addiction include mood rising while on social media (like a drug addiction), an abnormal level of focus on social media, using it more and more often, physical and emotional consequences when not using social media, interpersonal issues due to overuse of social media, and relapsing back into using it after abstaining from it for a while. Basically, it sounds like drug addiction, only you replace the word drug with social media. 

Social media is not a good thing when used to cope with stress, loneliness, and depression. Interpersonal problems can drive someone to use more social media to avoid their problems. The brain responds to social media as if it is a drug. If you want more information, click here. Get help if you need it. 

Courtesy of blogspot.com

I've got amazing news! I have released my novel, Wrenville. The link for the paperback and kindle ebook are here: https://a.co/d/4CtAXn3

Sources:

OPINION: Social media has completely lost sight of its original purpose – The Sunflower

History of Social Media: The Invention of Online Networking (historycooperative.org)

How to Identify a Scammer — 8 Signs You May Be Getting Scammed (rd.com)

ReportFraud.ftc.gov

The True Intentions Of Social Media (theodysseyonline.com)

The Right And Wrong Ways To Use Social Media - Bernadette Logue

Online Harassment & Cyberstalking | PrivacyRights.org

Social Media Addiction - Addiction Center