I feel like social media is not being used in the way it was intended, much like every invention in the long history of inventions. Today I revisit what it was for, as well as what we shouldn't be doing with it.
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It was not intended as a way to attack people, harass people, stalk people, turn a country against itself, manipulate someone, or otherwise harm people emotionally. Yet, we can see proof of all this happening in our social media. Let's think about that for a beat. Pause and reflect on what we have recently used our social media to do.
The intention was to connect with others and make it easier to communicate, all while sharing cute photos of animals and sharing about our lives. Connection with others was the original intention of social media. It has become entertainment, too, but depending on the entertainment form that isn't all bad. Hamsters, dad jokes, games, and other innocent forms of fun are not bad things. Jokes that harm others in the process, however, are not funny. Making a difference for a cause is not a bad thing, either, as long as you don't become entirely obnoxious about it, which actually harms your cause more than furthering it.
Why has it become a dangerous place? Simple, the human race has the potential to be good or evil and most are a mix of both (which is actually proven quite quickly by observation). We aren't perfect. As a direct result, we see that some good things have become tainted and are used for evil rather than good. The anonymity of the internet spurs some people to do what they wouldn't ever do face-to-face. That isn't good. The deep web and a few history lessons can prove that there is nothing new under the sun.
Social Media Ups and Downs
The original purpose was a connection, plain and simple. What we see now is not only scammers, politicians, and creepers, but the comparison game (which is yet another thing that isn't anything new to humanity). Cyberbullying is also in existence and they have to make new laws to adjust the legal system as a direct result. Law enforcement has a cyber division in place for stuff like this, and the law can't do all that much if you've been scammed. You can report scammers, though, and you should.
The other issue here is addiction to social media. I use it for my blog and writing career, as well as connecting to my friends and family who live a distance away. I find that scrolling wastes precious time I could be using to do other things, like consuming my vast collection of books and enjoying my hobbies outside of my devices. Yet, I catch myself scrolling. It takes writing time from me. My resolution this year is to only use my devices when I need them for a purpose, which has resulted in me finding the time I didn't know I had. Try it and see what you think about it. I promise that it is indeed worth it.
The different aspects of social media have bright and shadow sides. For instance, DMing (direct messaging) can be a positive way to plan an event with a friend and catch up with someone. Or it can be a way scammers take money from you, a bully belittles you, or you get hit on by people who friended you because you were pretty. Look up Charlotte Dobre on Youtube and you'll find the shadow side quickly. Apparently, the human race can use anything incorrectly (and I do include myself in that statement).
What We Should Do With It
Most of us are on social media, whether we want new ideas for a crochet project, need character inspiration, or simply need to ask what yesterday's math homework page was. It is incredibly useful. We should be using it to encourage one another and connect with those we love. Keep sharing those art ideas and writing prompts. Keep those small businesses going. Share those small authors out on your social media accounts (hint, hint, wink, wink). Talk about your favorite moments and chat with your friends. Make plans with your loved ones. The point is this; life is too short not to love the people around you and encourage each other.
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We should all be careful what we post, too. There are people out there who are out to hurt you. Yes, that means you. Scammers exist, bullies exist, and predators exist. This is serious. Don't post personal information online for them to see. As for scammers, this is what experts suggest. Double-check your facts before giving anyone your money for any service or reading out any account numbers to anyone.
1. Keep an eye out for any contact from businesses, especially the social security administration or IRS.
2. Is it coming out of nowhere unprompted by you? Hang up/stop messaging and go to the official website of that business (or call). It will debunk the scammer quickly.
3. Are they pushing you to do it NOW? Stop and think. Most scammers want you to rush and not think clearly.
4. Be aware of misspellings and grammar mistakes. Yes, some people don't do grammar well, but broken English is a common trait of a scammer (though some people who aren't scammers do speak broken English).
5. Refusal to appear on camera or in person is never a good sign. You may be dating a scammer.
6. A price too good to be true can be just that. Verify what you are buying.
7. Easy money is never easy money. Don't deposit a check for anyone. Don't buy iTunes, Amazon, or Google Play cards for anyone. Lottery prizes that require payment upfront are a scam.
8. Unusual forms of payment are a dead giveaway. Reread number 7.
I do not suggest scamming a scammer back or messing with scammers. Just report them and block them. I know people do both of those things, but please don't risk it. The fraud division will handle it.
Anonymity can shield the predators in the world. You can pretend to be anyone online. It is too easy to fake. If you think someone isn't who they say they are, go through that list of scammer signs and check all that apply.
What You Shouldn't Do
Common courtesy says if you wouldn't say it to their face you shouldn't be posting it online. It is as bad as talking behind someone's back, only so much worse. You literally made a problem between two people everyone else's problem and humiliated the person involved. Don't throw more daggers in someone's back. Solve it privately and move on.
Courtesy of pearlsandpantsuits.com
Arguing online is fruitless. Politics, taste in fashion, whether someone is vegan or not, opinions on literally anything... No one goes online for that, and if they do they are looking for content to react to. If you'd like to see yourself on Youtube go ahead, but I doubt that'll look good. Seldom does commenting with your own agenda in mind work out well. It never comes across the right way if you are pushy about something. That makes most of us take two or more steps back and distance ourselves. Calmly state if you have a concern in private, please.
Posting any sort of relationship or family issue publicly is the wrong thing to do. Please remember that every passive-aggressive public post is another dagger in someone's back. That is another wrong you have to right later in life. Maybe at the end of all the drama, they cut you off, declaring you a toxic person. Do you want to risk that? No. You also make a fool of yourself in others' eyes by doing this. You don't need to be attacked by another person to make a public fool of yourself.
It goes without saying that you shouldn't be using it as a weapon to divide or harm others. Catfishing (faking an identity online) is also wrong. Stalking online is a sticky issue as social media becomes easier and easier to stalk people with. The legal definition of online stalking is this according to Privacyrights.org:
"Online harassment may involve threatening or harassing emails, instant messages, or posting information online. It targets a specific person either by directly contacting them or by disseminating their personal information, causing them distress, fear, or anger.
Cyberstalking is a type of online harassment that involves using electronic means to stalk a victim, and generally refers to a pattern of threatening or malicious behaviors. All states have anti-stalking laws, but the legal definitions vary. Some state laws require that the perpetrator make a credible threat of violence against the victim. Others require only that the stalker’s conduct constitute an implied threat."
Look it up based on your state. A quick google search can give you everything you need to know, given that you read a credible website. Check facts. Make sure you are on a credible site.
Social Media Addiction
An addiction to social media is defined by the Addiction Center as:
"Social media addiction is a behavioral addiction that is defined by being overly concerned about social media, driven by an uncontrollable urge to log on to or use social media, and devoting so much time and effort to social media that it impairs other important life areas."
Keep in mind, we all scroll at times. You say you'll give it a quick check in case your husband messaged back about dinner and suddenly you're looking at a cute video of a hamster in a doll house bathtub. If you looked at my social media you'd find more hamster videos like it because they are the cutest creatures ever, but that is here nor there. The point is addiction has to interfere with daily life. Me stopping to watch a hamster play in sand may derail my work day for two minutes, but it doesn't stop me from going about my day and beginning work again.
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Signs of addiction include mood rising while on social media (like a drug addiction), an abnormal level of focus on social media, using it more and more often, physical and emotional consequences when not using social media, interpersonal issues due to overuse of social media, and relapsing back into using it after abstaining from it for a while. Basically, it sounds like drug addiction, only you replace the word drug with social media.
Social media is not a good thing when used to cope with stress, loneliness, and depression. Interpersonal problems can drive someone to use more social media to avoid their problems. The brain responds to social media as if it is a drug. If you want more information, click here. Get help if you need it.
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