Teaching Introverts

Introverts know all too well that public education, camps, and even society as a whole are based on extroverts. We are tired of being told we need to be fixed. Half the world is introverted, so why are we being taught like extroverts? Teachers, you can help us learn better and be more comfortable in your classrooms and camps. Listen carefully and let me invite you into this discussion.

I understand that you have to teach both extroverts and introverts in the same classroom. I understand that you are responsible for all the kids at camp and that a bored child can become trouble rather quickly. I just want to make it clear that introverts are often overwhelmed with group activities for long periods of time, being called out publicly and put on the spot, and generally being forced into any spotlight. Yes, we learn to do extroverted things, but only because we were forced into it at a young age and we need to survive out in the world. We hate small talk, yet we learn to do it for work and other functions, all while being bored out of our minds and wanting to disappear into books. 

Having trouble identifying the introverts in the room? Look for small social groups. We also take a minute to think, yet we concentrate deeply. We observe more than speak. We avoid large crowds. Introverts are defined as introspective people who need social recharge time. We run our mental processes and thoughts through long-term memory, not short-term, so we need a pause to process and react. We open up and speak in smaller groups and private places. We are not built for long social periods of time. We are half the world. You know an introvert in your life - I guarantee it. We are called shy by those who don't understand that "shy" is not "introverted" and we don't need to be fixed. Shy is anxiety, but introverted is that we need process time. Introverts are often forced to socialize by today's standards of normality when we are running on empty socially, so be understanding when finding these people in your camp group or classroom. If they look socially exhausted leave them to themselves and they may perk up. 

Camps

Camps are full of fun activities and never dull. Constant activities are generally not fun for the introverted personality, who needs time to process and breathe. Yet, counselors have to herd the kids into activities all day because they are told kids left on their own get into trouble. In some cases, I know that to be true, but not all. Please let a socially exhausted child read a book in the cabin, or just sit with them. Unless you know someone is playing you, of course. Counselors are responsible for all the kids that live in their cabin. I know. I was one once. 

Most camps have a choice in activities and some of the time there is the freedom to chill. I'm not saying camps are awful. I enjoyed them. I just know that competitions are also not the most fun for us introverted kids. An over-competitive group will cause stress to a kid that isn't competitive in nature, especially if you are losing constantly and your group generally sucks at stuff. That sounds crude, but it is true of one camp experience I had. I also had the opposite experience, where a leader said 'do your best, have fun, but I don't care how we rank'. Ironically, the latter made us do better in rank than the former. As a counselor or leader, please don't pressure competition, even if you want the trophy. You may just get the trophy without the pressure-cooking, so relax. 

Leaderships should be mixed in extrovert and introvert ratio, ideally. Why? Because introverted kids need a role model on how to balance themselves in the world. An introverted leader can be related to, thus they can ask for advice and have support in hard moments. A leader that is attentive to both personalities (extroverted or introverted is not important here) will do well to lend support to both, unifying the kids under him or her. Friends are created in unified groups. This is the idea of camp groups. Done well, this concept is amazingly good at bonding kids. 

Depending on the ages and if your crowd is mixed, you may deal with flirting. Yes, this is important. pay attention to this subject. Notice who is cozy with whom and be aware of the drama that could form into a storm. Introverts and drama are a bad mix, which leads to the introvert becoming overwhelmed and hiding or retracting from the group dynamic. Yes, we may flirt, too, but if we do that is our own fault (speaking from experience), but still talk to that kid and help them learn how to fix it. Teach us young how to avoid drama, please. 

The Classroom

The public education system makes it hard to support an introvert because we are surrounded by people constantly and they try to fix us. We are looked upon with concern if we don't want to play a game or need space. It may be a good idea to create options for big projects that support all personalities. One of the biggest problems include group projects and speeches where we are put in the spotlight or have to deal with a lot of other humans. We like individual projects, in short, where we turn in our paper and don't stand in front of the class with everyone staring at us. 

Theatre is weird. This is one space where I can be someone else for a while and blow some peoples' minds by putting on a performance on stage with no fear. Yet, I can't do a speech without having a mental freeze-up. It's like my mental computer freezes and all my preparations were for nothing, yet if I have a script memorized I can do it almost perfectly. This is because we don't know the reaction of our audience in speeches, but when we go on a stage, everything is going to go how we expect and rehearsed. Predictability makes all the difference. The stage is predictable, but our outside conversations and speeches are just the opposite. Peer reflection that says we "look unprepared" because we mentally froze doesn't help us in any way. Please remember this and be understanding. 

Forced participation is a subject that you need to know about from the start of your lesson plans. Give us several options, please, because the more willing we are to do something the better the project will be. It is human nature that when you require someone to do something they don't want to they won't do anything past the bare minimum. They can even stop engaging, in some cases, so be kind and let us show you what we can do best, simply by giving students introverted and extroverted options to choose from. I also advocate throwing out the participation grade part of your lesson plan or giving us a form of participation that isn't verbal. 

Group projects are hard or easy depending on the size of groups you put us in and the people. Large groups make it hard to get a word in because we want to sound dignified. By the time we mentally rehearse (yes, rehearse) our thoughts the topic is gone or we get interrupted time and again. Small groups of four may be like this if someone takes over, but it is still better to have more openings to speak than fewer. The quality of people makes these worse or better. Either way, it is a million times easier to work alone for us, because we don't depend on the rest of the group for anything. If you do have groups, make them small.

In General

If you described us introverts as quiet, shy, sensitive, or any similar word you probably influenced the reactions toward us. You didn't think about it, I'm sure, but it happened all the same. Presenting us as sensitive makes people treat us carefully and the word quiet makes people approach us like a birdwatcher approaches a bird. I, personally, am hard to offend, so sensitive is not the best word to use for me (though it is true I'm sensitive emotionally to a degree). Kids will treat us differently if you describe us in this way. 

This goes for every student; acknowledge our strengths and what we bring to the table. Please don't do so by bragging about us, however (so uncomfortable!). In this way, a book nook or quiet area of the classroom might not be a bad idea. Truly, that would make indoor recess more fun. Introverts will thank you. Even better, add a quiet part of the day to the curriculum and lesson plans. We pick up on this and hit our recharge button. You get more interaction from us as an added benefit. Show an introvert how to thrive in their element. 

Our thoughts come through less verbal mediums, like journals and social media (yes, that can make you think we're extroverted). Support us and give us time to think before you automatically jump into a large-scale class discussion. Maybe we could journal our thoughts first, or you could give us other options for this project. There are lots of nonverbal ways to hear our thoughts, so let us speak to you. In this vein of thinking, focusing on the quality of the participation is far better. Do us favors - we get enough criticism for our temperament already. Do let us know when we are transitioning into another activity.

Handle issues quietly. Seriously, this means the world to us. Loudly proclaiming our failures or mistakes is humiliating and humiliating a child is probably the worst embarrassment you can hand us. I distinctly remember forgetting my one scrap of paper for the concert, and even though I memorized it they persisted to embarrass me by handing me a paper and insisting on it - which proclaimed my failure to a whole crowd of parents and my classmates. They didn't mean to do this. I know that. Don't do the same to a student in your classroom. One on one private meetings are great places to talk and fix things in quiet. 

Speaking of unnecessary help, let us learn by ourselves at times. Yes, we are students, but if we didn't ask for help and you constantly treat us "special" it can be humiliating (for both reasons of excelling and failure). Let us explore. If we are truly drowning in a subject aid us privately, ideally, or find us a tutor. Proclaiming failure is a bad idea and that student won't trust you, let alone tell you what they need in a classroom to thrive. They will drown further, instead. Trust is everything here. Another point to make here is that when we speak we are often interrupted; don't make us deal with this in an educational environment and prove to us you are further untrustworthy. 

No emotional security means we don't learn well. Should I not feel secure being myself somewhere, I withdraw and learn less. Add bullies and you get a classroom that is not acceptable to introverts trying to learn. Humiliation also takes away emotional security, which can be said as trust. We go into our own world instead. Pay attention to this. It could mean they are bored or it could be they withdrew into themselves. There is a difference, so be prepared to observe further if you see us withdraw.

 Sources:

https://www.weareteachers.com/support-introverts-in-the-classroom/

https://www.ef.com/wwen/blog/teacherzone/tips-teaching-introverts/

https://www.teachthought.com/pedagogy/teaching-introverts-is-different/

https://www.partnersforyouth.org/rubys-story-understanding-introversion-in-a-youth-camp-environment/

Pictures:

John Spencer

Introvert, Dear

Ranker

sex in books and Christianity

 Sex. It is why you exist and why you are sitting reading this blog, believe it or not. It is a natural thing for humans to do. We were built for it. Should it be depicted in fiction? Let's take a look at the pros and cons. 

I'm looking at this from a Christian perspective. I am also going to define some things right out of the gate. 

Erotica - literature written with the intended purpose of arousing the audience

Pornography - representations in word or image that are designed to arouse the audience

I'm going to make a point in saying that erotica and porn are purposely trying to turn on their audience. It is not accidental. It will not be a subtle one-paragraph of sex that does this. Fifty Shades of Gray is a whole book of sex, as an example (which I have never read and think it's trash all the same). I do not endorse a display that purposely tries to arouse your reader. You have to understand that most romantic suspense and romance novels that have a real plot and have historical context are not porn or erotica by the standards above (but if you think that the above definition fits any book you are probably reading one of the above).

One to two pages of a sex scene show up in lots of adult suspense and romances. Like I said, it doesn't fit the definition of erotica and porn in most cases. One vague sex scene is not erotica - but several detailed and obnoxiously corny sex scenes (cough cough, Fifty Shades of Gray, cough cough) are pornographic. I'd like you to know this for the rest of this blog. 

Also, I don't plan to write any sex scenes, as a writer, but wanted to know what the Christian views were. In general, it kind of surprised me. Below you will find what I found. This is all research.

The Christian Perspective for Readers

Readers, I have heard both sides of the coin on reading sex scenes. I am actually going to focus on writers for most of the blog, so here is your part of this. It is your choice to open a book, correct? I have a list of questions to run through with books including sex, for guidance. Unfortunately, I run into discussions on Fifty Shades of Gray every time I ask the internet, but I'm not asking about that book.

1. Does it glorify unhealthy and dark sexual acts?  -  If yes, it might not be the best thing to read.

2. Is the whole book sex (good or otherwise)?  - If no, you are fine, if I understand correctly.

3. Does it fall under the erotica definition above?   - see above response. If no, you're fine. 

4. Lust or love?  -  If you are reading pure lust, I'd stop and put it back.

5. Do you feel controlled by the content? - Stop reading if this is true.

The problem I'm seeing is that if we say nothing about sex (as the church) we leave people ignorant and others can lead them to it the wrong way. On the same token, sex can become a trap for some individuals. What do you do? Consult God. If you have the Holy Spirit He will convict you and lead you in what to read and what to leave alone. 

God let Solomon write a sex poem. I take this as an omen that God isn't totally opposed to it - and that it matters what wording we read it in and our maturity. If you feel tempted by it to sin put it back on the shelf, but if not and there are only a few scenes there you might be fine. The problem is that every source labels any sex erotica in Christian sources (all or nothing perspective), so is Song of Solomon automatically erotica? If so, how did it get into our bible if erotica is all sex in books and not to be read? It doesn't make sense to say Song of Solomon is sinful to read when it is in our Bible. I think you see my dilemma. I have no clear answer to give. God created sex, yes, but I think that addressing lust and sexual addiction is the problem. It only becomes a problem if it controls you. Discern carefully. Give it to God first, then go from there. I wish I had a clearer answer, but I don't. Read the verse below and I hope it helps you discern. 

Mark 7:18-23 NIV

18“Are you so dull?” he asked. “Don’t you see that nothing that enters a person from the outside can defile them? 19For it doesn’t go into their heart but into their stomach, and then out of the body.” (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods clean.) 20He went on: “What comes out of a person is what defiles them. 21For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23All these evils come from inside and defile a person.”

For the Writers in the Room

Yes, there are Christian authors who don't write in the Christian fiction section. Yes, they do write love scenes. Yes, God did create us for sex. No, a steamy sex scene does not belong in every book in the library. Use it only when it is believable if you feel comfortable writing it. I found some guidelines from an author that outlines when to use it and why. The reasons below are from Sherrie Hansen's blog (a link will be in the sources below). She believes that sexual desire in characters is honesty about the human race. She is also Christian.

1. It has to have a point and reveal relevant details about the characters themselves. It has to have a point. It has to be relevant to the plot. If you can cut it out of the book and not have to edit anything else, you need to delete that entire scene.

2. There has to be some sort of repercussions and change in the characters after the sex. People are bonded by it. Someone becomes pregnant. It has to affect the relationships of the people in the plot.

3. Write it respectfully, honestly, and portray it as the gift God gave us. Sex is beautiful in its own way and may be a sin outside of marriage, but it is still fun (I'm told). 

4. It should have a lesson. When done in the right way it will be beautiful. When done in the wrong circumstance it can be disastrous. 

Your audience will have entirely different tolerances to sex scenes and the level of emotional heat. Some, like me, tolerate it for the sake of the other content. Others don't want to read it at all. Some could read 15 pages of sex and not even blush. 15 pages of sex are too much and are probably crapola in general, but you get my point. No one person is the same. 

There is a cheat to sex scenes that lots of writers use - hinting about it. Put simply, you suggest that they are about to have sex or show them after sex, but never show the sex. It is easier than writing the actual steamy scene. I do this in my writing if I want to suggest that sex was had or was about to be done. Less is more allows the audience to use their own imagination without plunging them into a "Woah! That's not what I asked for!" description. It's nice if you didn't read the romance for a vivid sex scene and want more plot. However, if you want to write it please add emotional significance to it.

Your thought life is your thought life. Do not blame another human for your struggles. Fight your battles and decide whether it is okay to read it or not. If you open a book with sex in it (that you knew about already) you actively choose to read it. I don't believe that we should lie about the truths of life and human nature. People break and make mistakes or get married and have beautiful sex. We can't just lie about human nature. Besides, even the Bible itself talks about sex. It was in Eden. It is also noted that it was subtly put into poetry, where young children won't understand it. There is a responsibility to portray it correctly and like God intended, so Christian writers shouldn't be showing abusive sex as normal sex.

There are several other points when writing sex scenes. One of them is that sex is good and it may be misused, but God designed it. Another equally important thought is that it should be depicted appropriately. Christian authors of past times didn't shun sex - so we shouldn't, either. Audiences of different ages are also absorbing sex differently, so know your readers before you write the scene. It is to be considered that we are responsible to portray sex appropriately, but we are not responsible for the sin of our readers. Showing the brokenness of our world is not, in any way, something to avoid. Show the world a mirror to the face, by all means. We all need God's grace and we need to spread the word - and perfect protagonists don't reveal our brokenness and need for Jesus. Immorality is sin, so don't portray it as something without consequence. Sin is wrong. Write it as such.

Badly Written Sex 

Fifty Shades of Gray is so badly written that even without the pornographic content it is worth nothing. I have said so a few blogs before this. Sex that is horribly written is worse than an unnecessary sex scene and readers will throw the bad work in the trash or mock it with their friends (so, if you heard about the film The Room, that's an example of mocking a form of media). Some books have one awful 12-page sex scene that makes someone stop reading 70 percent through the book (me, I stopped reading). I commit to books and try to finish them, so that's pretty bad! A sex scene should not be 12 pages. 

But wait, there's more! You can earn an award for writing the worst sex scene of the year. The Bad Sex in Fiction Award is a real thing. The award is given for horrible sex scenes in otherwise good fiction. It began in 1993, given by the Literary Review, and was canceled in 2020 because nobody needs bad sex on top of the dumpster fire of 2020, according to the Literary Review.  

The link to the winning participants of past years (that can create good laughs later) is here: https://literaryreview.co.uk/bad-sex-in-fiction-award.

If you are a writer and want to be taken seriously, please don't win the above award. The advice below is how not to write a sex scene. If you can't do it well, take my word as an avid reader and don't do it at all. 

1. If it reveals nothing about your character, you failed. Delete it. 

2. If you ended tension too quickly, delete it.

3.  The quote below is brilliant. Listen to this advice! :

"Most of us take longer to eat a pizza than we do to have sex. So here's a tip:
Write the longest description of eating pizza that you can. Go on a little longer than you think you should. Include smells, tastes, temperature, everything you can.
Now cut it down to a tight paragraph or two.
Print this out, tape it to the wall, and if you’re writing a sex scene longer than that, you’re going on too long."

4. Is it boring and the audience is not close enough? Delete it. 

5. Did you write it because you think you have to? Delete it.

6. Is it more "tell" than "show" (show vs tell is an editing checkpoint in anything, btw)? Rewrite it or delete it.

7. Lastly, sex is not a way to show love by itself - you can do better. It is not the go-to show of attraction you need. I repeat - you can do better.

When writing Young Adult sex scenes (because in some individual cases and situations it is appropriate, if worded correctly and if it is part of the plot) the link here is helpful: https://theconversation.com/honest-and-subtle-writing-about-sex-in-young-adult-literature-48002

Remember your audience, every time, or you may be showing too much or not enough. Someone who is younger will not understand or will see the vaguest sex scene as too awkward. If you are going to insist on sex scenes in young adult fiction, be as vague as you possibly can and don't be graphic. In this case over one paragraph is too much. Word it correctly and carefully. Don't write an adult scene for a young adult reader. The portrayal is everything here. Click the link above. Less is more is an established rule here. Hinting is enough!

Closing Remarks

I am seeing a problem with how some Christian writers view writing sex and what readers are told. Something isn't adding up. Readers are told all sex in books is bad, in some cases, even if the characters are redeemed and face real consequences, or are married. Honestly, it is part of the reason Christian authors don't always end up in the Christian genre of the library. Sometimes we can't talk about touchy subjects in some Christian fiction and it doesn't help. People will only find inaccurate portrayals of sex in other books later, so why aren't we talking about the truthful, beautiful picture of sex in Christian context in our fiction? I understand that if you have lust and porn addiction you shouldn't be reading any sex in books, but not everyone has that problem. Go to God first, above all, before reading. Know your thought life and make a decision with that in mind. 

Writers, I have never written a sex scene (so, all of this is researched). I cheat and show the before or after, but not the sex. I do think that less is more, but I will tolerate a necessary sex scene in my fiction reading to get to the rest of the plot. Christian bubble thinking does not always make some writers and readers feel okay with sex in fiction. "Know your audience" is the best advice any writer can ever get when it comes to touchy subjects. If you want it to be put in your church library you might want to avoid it. It depends if you care. 

I will kindly point out that CS Lewis and JRR Tolkien are not all put into the Christian section, nor do they include sex. It does not make you less Christian to have a book in the mystery, fantasy, or romance section instead of the Christian section. You can still portray Christ's love and grace in a book including sex, if this research is proof of anything, but it isn't a license to put sex in everything. Tolkien and Lewis did just fine without it. If you are going to write it and are determined to do so make it truthful. Do not add to the world's sensual crapola. Christian perspectives on sex need to be put out there; the world's view of sex needs to be challenged should you write a portrayal of sex.

In case you are curious, Tolkien's views of sex are in these links here: https://www.christianunion.org/the-magazine/1240-man-does-not-live-on-sex-alone-tolkiens-words-of-wisdom

https://www.intellectualtakeout.org/article/jrr-tolkien-sex-and-love/

https://ansereg.com/warm_beds_are_good.htm

Should your book be wonderful without sex do not add a steamy scene. Unnecessary sex scenes create trashy novels. Spread the word! 

Pictures:

Pedestrian TV

Nothing in the Rulebook

Sources:

https://sherriehansen.wordpress.com/2016/04/20/is-there-such-a-thing-as-christian-love-scenes/

https://prismaticprospects.wordpress.com/2016/02/19/romance-in-christian-fiction-how-much-heat-is-too-much/

https://barbaraleeharper.com/2010/08/19/sexuality-in-christian-fiction/

https://charitysplace.wordpress.com/2015/02/01/sex-the-christian-writer/

https://storyembers.org/how-should-christian-authors-depict-sex/

https://litreactor.com/columns/what-good-are-sex-scenes

https://theconversation.com/honest-and-subtle-writing-about-sex-in-young-adult-literature-48002

writers and the editing process

 Writers and their written work have a special bond. We write something to life, but then to edit our work, we tear it apart without mercy. After that, it is beautiful again. It isn't easy to criticize the story you spent months writing. Let's talk about it. Join me in discussing the hardships of editing. 

Writing is energizing and fun for me. Editing, on the other hand, is the exact opposite. It takes energy to do it. While necessary, it also means I need to edit in a way that gives me breaks periodically. Good editing shouldn't be rushed. Good editors also cost some money. I have found, personally, that you should edit your work yourself - to the point that you can't see anything wrong with it - and then hire an editor. From there you give an editor a better manuscript to look over. 

There are many ways you can go about editing your writing. Whatever you do, make sure you show it to someone else for a fresh edit. Entrust it to a human who doesn't know it backward and forward. This blog post is all about the many ways you can put your work through the wringer to make it polished and pretty. 

Tips and Tricks

There are editing programs all over the internet. Some can even give you human editors to work with. You can get a free version with less features or the premium version that gives you fancy stuff. You determine if that is worth your money and if you can afford it. Grammarly is very nice and I use it often in the free version. I am still deciding if I want to pay for premium, but the free version is quite nice by itself. 

Line by line will take a long time. This can be done in sections, where you can take breaks in between. If you are going insane doing this stop and rest. Come back later. You can learn a lot by going line by line. You may find common mistakes this way. Along with this you should have a style guide, which will help your manuscript be uniform. 

Don't rely on your computer to catch everything. This applies to every part of editing. Your computer will flag stuff that isn't wrong or won't catch something that is wrong. Be aware of this. In this spirit, it is suggested you read it backwards to catch the spelling errors. Make your brain think twice and it will catch stuff you don't see when reading it in order. 

Reading out loud also catches words you thought you typed - but didn't type - before. We all do it. Our brain autocorrects in ways that make us unaware of our mistakes or wordiness. If you read it from a piece of paper it might make a difference (especially if you change font). Even ask a friend or use a text reader to find awkward wording or missed words. Computers will only see what you typed, in this case, so use a computer to find the mistake here.

Phone a friend. Hire an editor. Have someone else look at your work (if only to give yourself a break). I know it is hard to give your precious book to someone else, lest they hate it, but do it anyway. It will still be beautiful in the end. If you must hear it is awful, hear it when you can fix it - not when you released it into the world and it can hurt your reputation. Reward anyone who volunteers to help - because they are worth more than gold!!!!!!!

                                                

Let it sit in a drawer or be ignored for a bit. Why? Because you need to not stare at it daily. The more time spent away from it, the more mistakes you can spot. Do take a break from it to work on something else. It helps immensely. Fresh perspective after a month or two weeks away from your manuscript is important. A fresh mind sees more than a stressed mind. 

Editing in rounds is a good way to hit the big things and small things. I, personally, go through the plot holes first, then the small grammar and spelling mistakes last, and each type of mistake is one round. Between the rounds take a short writing break and reward yourself with something you enjoy doing, that isn't stressful. Again, a fresh mind is better than a stressed mind when editing. Stressed minds miss mistakes. 

Make sure you correct wordiness on one of your rounds. Readers are not fond of wordiness - at least, some of them aren't, anyway. Please look at the audience when figuring out what words you don't need and what details your plot doesn't need. Your first draft may have some wordiness in it. Your choice of how wordy your sentences are is yours, as long your readers understand you. Cliches are also something to cut out. 

Print it out. Break out the red pens and highlighters. Get your eyes off the screen and onto paper. Mark it up however you like. The old fashioned way is sometimes the best way to mark mistakes. If you are helping a friend edit give them a printed draft that is marked with red pen and page numbers, so that they can go through the electronic copy with the editing marks and page references. 

Most of all, get your first sentence right and learn from the mistakes that you make. Don't make them over and over again (in life and writing!). Learn from your writing journey and study the writers you love, how they write and their style. Mimic what you like and experiment (even if you never intend to send it to publishing). Free-write and edit that for practice, if you like. Proofread last, for sure.

Uncommon words can confuse an audience. Our modern audience is not going to know archaic words (use them if you like - just have them defined in some way). If you use a word make sure the readers in your sights know the word. You can lose readers that get confused. Writers have bigger vocabulary than average, much like avid readers. Know your target audience. 

Passive voice is to be avoided. Also, describe as much as possible. Put your reader in the scene. Make passive voice and description a round of editing by itself. That's the best way to target this type of mistake. Don't be passive or dull. Readers stop reading when they get bored. Another round of editing is repetition, which can get tiring, too. Find synonyms. 

You can get a free editing checklist here: https://jerryjenkins.com/self-editing/ 

Writing in general 

For general writing advice, click this link: https://becomeawritertoday.com/improve-your-writing/

As a writer, I know that your manuscript is practically your child. Editing is hard. You need the time and a peaceful place to write, edit, and research (three different tasks that are not the same). Research often comes before writing. Writing always comes before editing. Do not edit while your write or you will go insane. Do not research while you write or you will face the same thing. Create a structure and place for yourself to do all three things. Writers need this. Even if you are sitting in a coffee shop with a laptop, you need a private space. 

Since editing is the focus of the blog today, I'll let you click the link in this section. I hope I helped my fellow writers and have a good day!

Sources:

https://www.grammarly.com/blog/advice-on-editing/?gclid=Cj0KCQjwsLWDBhCmARIsAPSL3_2MRPdm2OVApH2Uw2_Xrda5btI77zE9MDKtLTYR0rjKIWYIUN7QCt8aAuHJEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

https://www.forbes.com/sites/joeescobedo/2017/07/24/forbes-new-york-times-the-10-best-ways-to-edit-your-copy/?sh=5ccb69fe253e

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/tips-for-editing-your-own-writing

Pictures:

Memes Monkey Discovery Engine

The Mom Who Runs

Write Life

Celadon Books

Your Tango

Gaming and Intellect

Some people think you waste time by gaming. Well, let's look at the research and see how it affects you intellectually. They might be wrong. 

Photo courtesy of Call of Duty

First of all, plenty of games require intellect to even finish. Legend of Zelda has logic and critical thinking puzzles riddled through it, with some side quests that open hidden areas. Try to tell me that this game doesn't need a thinking brain and you will be lying. The same points can be made for Nancy Drew Herinteractive games, any game with logic puzzles, and the interactive ds game novels of Hotel Dusk and Last Window. 

Another point to make here is that it requires the ability to multitask to fight in games. Many enemies coming toward you at once takes the thought to move and hit the right combos, especially in Scott Pilgrim Vs The World. It is not easy to play to the point of the last boss. I am only on level 2. There are no checkpoints in level - only at the beginning and end of each level. It is incredibly frustrating to die at Lucas Lee's hands and have to start over.

                                                        Responsible Adult Gaming

Photo courtesy of Game Reviews

With this topic, I need to say that adulting comes first. Do not neglect adult or student responsibilities to game in your room for hours. That is called obsession. You need to control that. Also, our eyes need a break from screens and it can be a health hazard to game day and night at a constant pace. Please exercise. Please take mental breaks for snacks and water. I care about you, readers. Take care of your eyes and body. 

Sometimes responsible leisure time means taking a break from a game for two weeks until you can make sure you have a handle on life's necessary tasks. I've had to do that before. Obsession is not healthy. Frustration also creates muddled thoughts, so if you get too frustrated back off the game for a day or so to avoid distressing yourself and your family and roommates (by cussing, screaming....etc). Keep stress levels low. It makes a difference in how you play (and clear minds beat games faster and kill Toon Link, in my case, less).

When it has become an obsession it will get in the way of your family, friendships, relationships, and adult tasks. Addiction is a point where someone else has to help you, but keep yourself in check. Anything can become an addiction. This is not exclusive to gaming. If you see that you are not in balance with leisure and adult tasks take the opportunity to take responsibility. Police this yourself. Be the responsible adult I know you are, especially if you have kids. You model good gaming and behavior for your offspring. Your kids do not need to hear you cussing out video game characters out of frustration. 

I have heard of fall-back hobbies and agree with the concept wholeheartedly. Ready Player One makes a point that you shouldn't live in a fantasy world your whole life. We shouldn't be staring at screens for days on end. We need sunlight, people, basic nutrition, and exercise. Fall-back hobbies are any pastimes that don't include gaming, such as creating art, sports, writing, etc... These make it possible to engage your brain without too much screen time. Keep this in mind if you are easily bored. Branch out into other hobbies if you need more stimulation. This will also help you control obsessions over gaming (no guarantees on anything else, though).

Gaming Makes You Smarter

If you are of the older generation you probably have your doubts about this. I don't. I have the research to prove that gaming helps your brain. Should you still feel that a game is negatively impacting someone you know please get them help. Anything can be an addiction (for reference), so please make sure you actually understand what is going on as much as you possibly can. That said, the research below is how games positively impact gamers. The video below explains the actual gaming addiction disorder. Listen to it before you decide your friend or relative is in danger.

Action video games are proven to improve attentional control, which is paying attention to specific things. Spatial awareness is also improved when compared to nongamers. Response times are also faster in gamers, and they anticipated the event that was happening. Action games also improve memory and tasks that use memory retention. Gamers are primed to be sensitive to visual cues and remember more accurately. 3D video games boost memory forming and improve hand-eye coordination and reaction times. Strategy games help older people avoid Dementia and Alzheimers. Games train your brain to expand memory capacity. Strategy games also make grades improve in school, which involves problem-solving skills. Gaming also sparks creativity in a way that doesn't correlate with the internet and technology or the game content.

But wait, there's more!

Extensive gaming has some benefits, which is creating complexities in your brain that allow you to multitask. You become more efficient. Extensive is not addictive - do not make that mistake. Action gamers make faster decisions, and gamers in general have long and short term decisions made faster. Gamers also have higher IQs, in general, because they game for the intellectual stimulation that school or work doesn't give them. Video games actually seek out intelligent people.

All this evidence is proof of improved brain activity. It is still important to remember that gamers are usually nerds and geeks, and these people are usually high in intelligence. We gamers want more stimulation in our entertainment. If someone is bored with an average activity that is a sign of intelligence (especially if they demonstrate that they can do it in less time than their classmates). This is why we need the challenge of a game. In some ways it seeks out the intelligent and improves their brain function simultaneously.

Game Content Matters

I play a variety of games - from Nintendogs to Legend of Zelda to Nancy Drew - and I'm sure other gamers do, too. Some days you want to play with bunnies and watch them do tricks. Other days you want to play an action game. Sometimes you feel like replaying your favorite mystery games. Does content matter? Let's talk about it.

The game categories include strategy, action, first person shooter, stimulation, sports, puzzle, and RPG (role playing games). All of them are different in nature. a Petz game is not the same as a James Bond shooter game when it comes to skills. The list below is the short version of what I researched. 

Strategy - involves flexibility, decision making, fast analysis, managing limited resources, logic

improves working memory and reasoning

Photo courtesy of Syfy Wire

shooter games - involves hand-eye coordination, fast thinking and decisions, quick reactions

improves spatial navigation, reasoning, memory, perception

downside- might be too violent for some people 

stimulation - mimics real world, includes decision making and managing resources

puzzle - involves patterns, logic, time pressured decisions

often played on tablets and phones out of boredom and while waiting for something

sports- fast paced, requires hand-eye coordination, fast analysis and decisions

action - problem solving, fast paced decisions, linear and nonlinear plotlines

improves problem solving, strategic thinking, teamwork, creativity

RPG - involves creativity, decision making, fast analysis and decisions, ability to think ahead

improves reasoning and logic, creativity

Closing Thoughts

Guess what? People make money off of gaming! Esports is the competitive gaming competition that makes it possible to game for a living. Also, doing game walkthroughs on youtube can make you some money, as well. Teams will work together to beat another team (which builds communication skills and empathy, as well as community support). They show these competitions live. Schools can actually do this, too, so this isn't just for adults. Basically, gaming is not for the bums in the basement - it can be beneficial to your brain. The video below will explain what you should consider in competitive gaming.

Sources:

https://www.healthygamer.gg/video-games-make-you-smarter-backed-up-by-research/#:~:text=A%20study%20conducted%20at%20the,Legends)%20and%20high%20intelligence%20levels.&text=The%20first%20group%20found%20that,strategy%20games%2

https://www.raisesmartkid.com/6-to-10-years-old/5-articles/57-what-video-games-are-good-for-the-brain

https://www.techlearning.com/how-to/what-is-esports-and-how-does-it-work-in-education#:~:text=Esports%2C%20or%20Electronic%20Sports%2C%20is,used%20for%20communication%20between%20gamers.

movies that slaughtered good books

We all know that some book series were fantastic, but the movies and TV Shows were awful (but only if you read the books). Avid readers know the pain of a badly adapted novel, when the directors take creative liberties and change the ending or plot in a bad way. Here we have a list of bad adaptations that were good books.

In the defense of directors and filmmakers, movies are not easy to make. Not everything in the book can fit into a movie timeframe or be made possible. Between scriptwriting, budgets, and what actors are available it is not an easy feat to create a beautiful film. Not all special effects can be put into action and look good. Some actors won't do certain actions. Grace is in order for the directors who tried to make an accurate film. Even so, here are some badly adapted ones that made the connected fandoms scream in frustration.

Twilight

The memes are abundant and the general verdict on the movies themselves are horrible. I think the movies probably slaughtered a good book series. Have I read it? No, but others have and say the books are actually good. 

How is it different? Well, timeline for starters. Book 1 is 5 months of relationship, not 3 months. Another thing to take into account is the deeper relationships in the book that didn't translate as well into film. As some other directors have done before, we also lose a few characters to make up for time and reduce complexity to further main plots. Books have a luxury of subplots, but the film industry generally doesn't use all of it for the sake of budget. Speaking of plot, Bella's decision to become a vampire is more fleshed out in words and not movie. Additional plot includes an introduction to three characters who begin to hunt Bella, which doesn't come out of left field in the book plot, but does in the movie. The relationship dynamics and conversations are somewhat stronger toward Jacob in the books, by the way, so consider that if you are team Edward and never read the book. The books are also from Bella's point of view.

Problems in filming real actors, who are portraying vampires (which don't age), can't be helped. This is one place we need to give grace in abundance. Special effects are hard to achieve sometimes. Filmmakers know this well. The supernatural isn't simple to show on stage or screen, so be nice if you know it is hard to do. 

The Hobbit

Okay, so you liked this one and so did I, but Tolkien's son did not. Tolkiens followers are avid and sticklers for accuracy. What went wrong here? Let's dive into it. 

At the top of the list is the fact that one book became three movies. Part of the issue with inconsistency was time (because the LOTR series was a long project with pre-production work). Another large part of this was production wasn't as controlled and Peter Jackson never felt on top of the process like he'd been before. Material was added to connect it to LOTR, thus it made things a bit more confusing. Overuse of CGI made some dislike the film, too. 

The truth about Tolkien anything is that the storyline is complicated, connected, and beautifully intricate. Fans of the series can easily and casually tell you all about it. If you aren't studied in it already you may get lost. It has to be thought out carefully and executed with care, not haste. This film trilogy was done too quickly. 

Percy Jackson

With this series I caution you to have grace. Special effects can only take you so far where mythology is concerned. I liked both movies, but if you are a purist in this series you know how much they changed. I have not read the books. They made mythology mistakes, including Persephone being in the underworld in the summer (when the story clearly states she should be in the living world during that time) The first and second movies had two different screenwriters. Apparently, the second one was better and stuck to real mythology, but the first messed up their mythology. 

A layered plot doesn't work perfectly into a screenplay and movie. With settings all over the place and scenes missing from the movies that were in the books, it can confuse an audience. CGI can't portray all the weird mythology that is in the books (like the sea horses in the sea being ridden). Frankly, they are not the easiest YA books to transfer to film. Depth in book characters didn't make it to the film, in some cases. The layered storyline is not complete without that character depth, so it doesn't work as well as it should in the books. 

Nancy Drew and Riverdale CW Series

I am an absolute nerd about Nancy Drew and like several of the adaptations. I didn't like this one. It is not the Nancy of the books or the games. She is not in Riverheights. Ned Nickerson is nothing like the books. The ghost in the books, believe it or not, are seldom real. Bess is not the same. George is not the same. Carson Drew and his daughter were close and not estranged. It is almost all wrong. They made it what they wanted, and much like Riverdale, created a drama that wasn't anything like the source material.

Riverdale is based on Archie Comics. The fans of these comics were not pleased, much like Nancy Drew fans. It was as unrecognizable as many CW adaptations seem to be. Archie comics are innocent and light humor. First of all, there was no murder in it. Jughead is not the main character in the comics, nor is he all dark and gang leader. Betty and Veronica were also in competition for Archie all throughout, so there's that, and it was all about Archie. The crossovers were also abundant. Reggie is a bully in the comics, too - definitely not the one we see on our TV screen. I could go on, really, so look at my sources to see more. 

CW has a habit of making something dark, raunchy, and nothing like the source. I did watch Riverdale and like it for a while, but I caught the drama pattern (which is ramping up the drama, continue the tension, and release with a hint of new tension). I only looked into it for Cole Sprouse, really, so I wasn't disappointed. Nancy Drew is a beloved character to me, so that was different. Frankly, I also see homosexual characters in every single CW series, too, so that wasn't my jam. CW is not my go-to channel.

Maximum Ride

I lived and breathed Maximum Ride in my Jr High years. I read them all. They are complicated, complex characters and plots. Some people are both good and bad at different times - like Ari. It would take a lot of money to do this movie right. All the same, it doesn't truly need one. It would be another Percy Jackson situation. The movie they made for this one was a failure. It had no budget at all, according to reviews. The actors did badly, too, but that may just be the directing and script's fault. 

Maximum Ride is a James Patterson book series directed at teens that are about genetically modified teenagers imprisoned in an illegal science facility. After that the plot gets complicated and layered - and swiftly so. They fight, hide like fugitives, are betrayed, betray each other, and discover abilities on the way. It all ends with a bang in the last book. Can all this be contained in a PG13 movie? Heck to the no! It needs a rated R movie to portray all this stuff. One of the characters is forced to watch a surgery that is forced upon her friend years before - surgery with no drugs - for the purpose of night vision (which failed, but he can see if there is an all white background). Is that PG13 or PG14? Definitely not. This is why I advocate we try not to film this one. My friends and I thought they'd bungle it and we were right.

Conclusion

If you liked these I am not shaming you. It is likely you didn't read the books connected to them, or maybe you did and you are open-minded. At any rate, these didn't follow the books at all or only loosely followed them. The actors are probably not at fault in these cases. Directors and scripts tell an actor how to portray these characters. I ask that you don't blame actors here. The best actors in the world, directed badly, will not look good, so I give these people grace in a big way. 

Sources:

https://www.femalefirst.co.uk/movies/books-ruined-by-movies-389095.html
https://screenrant.com/hobbit-trilogy-lord-rings-peter-jackson-problems/
https://screenrant.com/twilight-books-movies-comparison/
https://atlanticmolly.wordpress.com/2013/09/19/percy-jackson-the-movies-vs-the-books/
https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2019/10/8540678/does-cw-nancy-drew-follow-the-books
https://www.cbr.com/archie-riverdale-comics-comparison/
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/review/maximum-ride-review-934238

Pictures:

Wallpaper Access
Goodreads
Film Affinity
Indie Wire
Pinterest
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Historical Context - Why We Need To Revisit This In Society

 Just the other day I opened up an Ian Fleming James Bond novel to find terms that are offensive now, but were not offensive in 1952. If you look up old classic movies and books that are not of our time period we see that the gender roles are more boxed and rigid. My point is simply this; the time period of your entertainment makes a difference and should not be ignored. Let's dive into that. 

Photo courtesy of The Guardian

I'm starting this topic with a strong statement. History forgotten is history that repeats itself. If we burned and destroyed every offensive book on the whole earth we'd completely wipe the history shelf clean, have no historical fiction, forget our history, and then live it all over again. This is why banning books and entertainment is a huge problem and should not be happening. Aside from perhaps the books on dark magic (that isn't Harry Potter or fictional), I do not advocate that we get rid of books containing offensive language or ideas, but instead, use them for teaching purposes and set them as reminders of a time we no longer live in. That being said, I also advocate this for all entertainment forms.

Historical settings are places we visit in novels (accuracy is another day's blog topic) since we cannot go back in time ourselves. While some books do a horrible job at transporting you to the past, others do so well of a job that we forget our surroundings. It is important to note that what was common in 1928, 1952, or 1813 is not common now. The Bridgerton novels, now a Netflix series, are a good example of this. We don't debut ourselves as women anymore, for example, and don't court suitors (at least, not in the same way). Phryne Fisher is set in 1928 and mentions that most churches don't advocate birth control or family planning. Ian Fleming's work proves he wrote in 1952 by using words like "Chigro" (Chinese and black genetically together) in his book Dr. No. It is obvious that these books were not set in our culturally sensitive or feministic culture. That doesn't mean they aren't fantastic books. Simply put, don't ban a book because it doesn't jive with our time period. 

Romance Novels and History

Historical romance and fiction is a big category favoring highlanders, medieval knights, the civil war and other wars, and the 1800-1900s. It ranges from sexually suggestive to tame covers that reflect a romanticized version of the wars and history, but most of the good writers do their research and do a great job of taking you back in time. Little details might make you gasp when you do your own research later and find they were correct in this or that topic. It is critical to know what was appropriate then and what social rules and role your main character is living with.

Photo Courtesy of Pinterest

 In the movie Brave it is actually true that women could refuse to marry and it was considered irresponsible. Not all societies could do that, though. Bridgerton reflects 1813, where a rich, titled English family of 8 are marrying off into the world. The men are not expected to debut themselves and can get away with mistresses, and yet, we see women can't declare they aren't going to marry and support themselves. or have flings and affairs. Today we say "double-standard!" and think that is unfair. Women today are free of quite a few useless and tiresome social rules that used to put us in the property category. Women in 1813 were not so lucky, especially when rich. Merida, in the framework of her time, was dodging responsibility. In our lense, it doesn't come across like that. In our time she is fighting to marry someone she loves in her own time, which may still be true, but she was refusing to grow up in some ways. She was doing the equivalent of bumming it in the basement, should you need it explained in our words. This is precisely why we need to take into account the social rules of the time.

Classics 

When I say classic I mean something representing the time period it was written in. Along with that, it must be beloved and touch readers years after it is released. In this way, it has to be relevant to multiple generations. Think about what you had to read in school years for your language arts classes if you need an example. 

James Bond novels are considered historical classics, as well as Little Women, The Last of the Mohicans, Pride And Prejudice, and To Kill A Mockingbird. I think you get the general picture of a classic book. These especially need historical viewpoints and a lens of historical knowledge. They don't and won't make as much sense in our society's viewpoint. I said before that Fleming is not culturally sensitive when it comes to referring to black people in his novels, but that makes sense given he lived in the 50s, where quite a lot of people in white neighborhoods were not sensitive at all. His views were common then, thus the offensive terms were not offensive then. This is precisely why you have to understand the time period before you judge the book as offensive or not. 

Photo Courtesy of Vanity Fair

Another example is Little Women, set in 1868. The roles of women were far from what they are today. 

 I read it all and loved it. The thing is that if you don't understand the roles of women in that time you miss some of the importance of the plot. Aunt March will make no sense when she talks about how women can't make their own money outside of acting or running a cathouse (in her eyes, the same thing). Also, the houses have names and you have to pay attention to that (like Jane Austen's book Emma). 

Our Culture Versus Then

You see, being culturally sensitive is not what Fleming was going for - he was just writing a spy novel set in the Cold War. He didn't stop and say "what will the next generation think?" because he was living in his own time, which goes for every writer you know. Our culture and its viewpoints are not the same as the previous decade's viewpoints. You have to understand this before you judge a book by its ideas. 

Think of the politics of today. This shapes a cultural mindset. The politics of the Civil War, Cold War, WWII, or WWI are different, vastly so. Different terms and lingo are often used in all these different contexts. Jayhawkers don't belong in WWII, but they do belong in the Civil War. Nazi's weren't involved in the Cold War, but they were in WWII. Basic knowledge of political events is in order for even Little Women, where the four March women grow up in the midst of the Civil War. Bond makes no sense without the political context of the Cold War. Atomic Blonde (movie and comic book) would be extremely confusing without knowing about the Iron Curtain. 

Photo courtesy of Fashionista

Social practices of our time will not match what the March women lived, or what the Bridgerton family does. Phryne Fisher's life is not what ours' is. The social rules that put us within social propriety would stun women and men from the times we read about. What we wear, say, do, and have the freedom to do today could make us socially unacceptable to other decades. The standard that Bridgertons live in shows undergarments that look like they hurt, when today we don't wear corsets and layers under dresses unless it is a costume. Don't judge the social actions of a character by today's standards if they lived three decades ago.

Language is a factor here. "Samson slew the Philistines with the jawbone of an ass" does not mean he slew his enemy with his buttocks. Ass is another name for a donkey. Simply put, words change context as time passes and you have to know what they mean or you are lost in the storyline. How words are used also matters, given that connotation of a word changes the meaning. Saying that something is gay can mean it is happy in archaic language, but in my lifetime it has had two completely different meanings. One occurred around my Jr High age (I am 26, for reference) and it meant "stupid". Today it means homosexual. The definition in the dictionary didn't change; the use of it in different eras did. Know which era you are reading or watching and do your research. It is a general practice to know what your words mean before you speak them, so think before you speak.

Closing Remarks

Canceling old books and movies that have "offensive" content is like trying to erase history. It needs to stop and we need to start using them as teaching tools that show our history. If you truly want to change the perceptions of others canceling the evidence it was misperceived is not the answer. I advocate that we use our brains and make up our own minds when we read or watch something. Take into account the historical time and context. Don't judge a source of entertainment by the viewpoints of characters that didn't live in the time you did. Don't expect the past to conform to the present - it won't. 

Sources:

https://www.thoughtco.com/concept-of-classics-in-literature-739770#:~:text=Classic%20literature%20is%20an%20expression,its%20construction%20and%20literary%20art.

https://www.thoughtco.com/what-is-historical-context-1857069#:~:text=Historical%20context%20is%20an%20important,details%20that%20surround%20an%20occurrence.&text=In%20analyzing%20historical%20events%2C%20context,to%20behave%20as%20they%20did.

Living life on display - the cost

We have heard about Harry and Meghan leaving the royal family, but I'd like to invite you on a journey to dig deeper, to look at the cost of fame anywhere. What does it cost you to be famous? What is it like to live in a glass house and be watched, judged, and criticized daily? Put yourself in their shoes for a second. 

Photo courtesy of Vanity Fair

If you want the basics on what Harry and Meghan said about the royal family and the whole situation, I have a link here: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/07/world/europe/oprah-interview-harry-meghan.html

Other than that, I'm not going to into the details of it. What I'm focusing on today is how fame and not having a private life can affect the mental health and life of a celebrity (royal or not). When it comes to the royal family and the many social rules of what can be done, as well as expectations and titles, it gets complicated. Fame stresses vary everywhere.

Exciting or dangerous?

With fame comes the idea that you are now a walking target. Another price of fame includes the idea that you now have to be skeptical of people who want something from you and are jealous of what you have. Paparazzi generally don't care about making you look good, so add that to your list of what to keep an eye out for. Some celebrities dress one way for public performance and another for common street errands (like Lady Gaga, who is short in real life and wears heels and makeup for stage appearances). Everyone knows you. You can't have a private moment. The royal family takes this to a new level with touring villages and other gala events.

Reputation is fragile. If you have anything to lose - title, money, acting roles, or otherwise - accusations and trials will kill that. Ask Johnny Depp (falsely accused by a woman that harmed him) about losing an acting role. Ask Meghan and Harry about losing their support. People with something to lose have to stay in the lines to keep what they have, as well, so if they challenge the status quo it can end badly for them (especially if someone cares more about their reputation or the reputation of a group than improving the situation). Innocent people, famous and living life under a magnifying glass, have been ruined to protect others - and I am not just talking about royal families in history. It is amazingly cruel how the public accusations of someone who is lying, and providing false evidence, can lead the public to hate an individual who did nothing. Reputation can be destroyed and the press will eat it up with a spoon. In this way, the public can be manipulated to hate someone and the person who is innocent can be judged and sentenced as guilty, even before a court trial. While some aren't innocent (obviously), we don't have an accurate idea of who is and isn't on the side of good. 

Photo by Sonny With A Chance 2009

Fame has a cost when it comes to some sensitive souls and situations that arise from continuing in the celebrity lifestyle unbalanced. We know Demi Lovato had some drug issues due to overwork and has relapsed at times, partly because she doesn't have a private life anymore. The general public has both supported and judged her at different times. Overwork is a serious issue that led the Beatles to do drugs, also, so drugs are a common problem here. Suicide, depression, and mental illness have taken a few celebrities to their graves, either because they lost the fame or had too much of it. Meghan Markle was becoming suicidal in her position, as an example. Anne Hathaway has dealt with depression. Marilyn Monroe overdosed on drugs. The stress and anxiety of living in a fishbowl takes its toll and we see that being at the top is not all glamour and gold. That doesn't mean some celebs can't balance themselves and keep their sanity. What I'm saying is fame is not easy to handle.

Fame and money

Fame can be described as a drug, a need and constant desire for attention and applause from others. It is why we use social media. It is a competition. The need for acknowledgment, excess, and praise is a desire of human nature, one that can lead some to do anything to get it. Max Lorde (a villain in Wonder Woman 1984) illustrates this purpose rather well. Max Lorde came from an unhealthy family situation and felt that he need to be validated and prove himself. Someone who is unbalanced from the beginning is more of a risk. People who have previous issues are not the people that should be on display for all to see. Celebs that decided to find a private place, made sure it stayed private, then used it for their private escape did well for themselves emotionally. We all need time alone (in varying amounts).

What makes an unbalanced human? As I said, not enough time to process emotion and life events.

Photo by IGN

Quick rises to fame don't do well, often, due to the lack of time to balance themselves and create healthy boundaries. Add to this swift rise that the person can't truly make sense of everything going on and we have a big, publicly displayed problem. This embarrasses the person and causes judgment to rain on them (even if it is a small group of people). Judgment leads to anxiety and it all spirals until they could end up in rehab, or worse, overdosed or suicidal. Dramatic? A bit. True? Absolutely. The most balanced celebrities are more mature in age or nature and started from the bottom of the pile, rising slowly while learning how to handle it bit by bit. Fast fame creates messes and disorients the person, but slow fame teaches lessons that benefit them when they are a big name. Big names are often viewed more. 

Narcissists, all about themselves, do well here in fame-city because they don't care about what people say and do whatever they want. They take what they want, do whatever, and eat up all the publicity. Likes, dislikes, comments.....It doesn't matter what the public says. It is all about the narcissist. Beware of these people. They are not okay and shouldn't be given attention at all. Attention is their drug and they don't take responsibility for their actions. 

Big names, like royalty, also do lots of tours and appear for crowds. If they are suicidal, depressed, or feel anxiety internally you might not see it. After a while celebs put on a mask. Depression is a silent killer because their mindset is to deal with it alone. It makes it harder to get help. Mental issues are embarrassing and give ammo to those who go after reputations. It is not as easy as casually calling your therapist for an afternoon session. Why? Because some people have mouths leaking information, paparazzi, and your own emotions make it hard to ask for help. Put yourself here and ask what you would do in their shoes. Tabloids can take any picture of you and twist it. Do you understand, now? I thought so. 

Balanced Celebrities

I mentioned celebrities that were balanced. Here we can talk about how some learned to deal with it. This doesn't mean they are perfect. The information below is about how they cope with it, not how to be perfect. With fame comes responsibility. Fame takes your personal energy away from you to give to people who don't give it back and don't always care about you.

Perfection is unattainable. Stop trying to be everyone's perfect human. You can't please all of the public all the time, so don't. That advice goes for non-celebs, too. Taking advice too personally can lead to lots of issues. Every human you meet has a different point of view, opinion, and background. Your worth is not based on the human races' peer review of you. In this way, you are also no better than the rest of the human race. (I personally believe that in Christ we are all on equal footing and no one human is above another.) You are not superior to anyone. All humans need help at times. Get that help. Go get that counseling. Process your life and emotions. 

Boundaries and where you stand on issues are not to be ignored. Make it clear what you will and won't do, and what you want out of your fame. Don't change your mind often on these convictions. Consistency is your friend. It gives you integrity. 

Family and friends who will support you, even when your fans won't, are necessary, and shouldn't be neglected for fame, or you will pay. The support system will help you through many issues and crises in the future. Ask these people for help when you need it. 

Mistakes happen. Learn from them. Don't repeat them time and time again. This will also give you integrity. Don't be afraid to apologize - but, yet, don't apologize for standing up for yourself when wronged. This is a tightrope walk that your support system can help you with. 

I don't know who will be reading this blog, but the last part of this post involves my personal faith in Christ. If you are a Christian and find yourself in the spotlight you might find the advice below helpful.

Christ comes first, in my personal belief, so if you put Him first He will guide you. Not that life will be rainbows and lollipops (it never is, not for anyone), not at all, but my point is simply that Jesus will lead you where you need to be and guide your boundaries and interactions. I don't know your personal journey. I am not assuming anything about you. I advocate that you yield to Christ's leading in everything, all the same.

Sources:

stinavillarreal.com/2010/03/26/psychological-impact-being-spotlight-emotional-struggle-of-celebrities/

https://www.saybrook.edu/unbound/fame-is-a-dangerous-drug/

https://www.everydayhealth.com/depression/fame-fortune-and-despair-1477.aspx

https://higherselfconcepts.com/how-fame-affects-your-life-how-celebrities-deal-with-it/

http://vmhmagazine.com/6-tips-on-how-to-manage-your-fame-and-success/