We have heard about Harry and Meghan leaving the royal family, but I'd like to invite you on a journey to dig deeper, to look at the cost of fame anywhere. What does it cost you to be famous? What is it like to live in a glass house and be watched, judged, and criticized daily? Put yourself in their shoes for a second.
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| Photo courtesy of Vanity Fair |
If you want the basics on what Harry and Meghan said about the royal family and the whole situation, I have a link here: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/07/world/europe/oprah-interview-harry-meghan.html
Other than that, I'm not going to into the details of it. What I'm focusing on today is how fame and not having a private life can affect the mental health and life of a celebrity (royal or not). When it comes to the royal family and the many social rules of what can be done, as well as expectations and titles, it gets complicated. Fame stresses vary everywhere.
Exciting or dangerous?
With fame comes the idea that you are now a walking target. Another price of fame includes the idea that you now have to be skeptical of people who want something from you and are jealous of what you have. Paparazzi generally don't care about making you look good, so add that to your list of what to keep an eye out for. Some celebrities dress one way for public performance and another for common street errands (like Lady Gaga, who is short in real life and wears heels and makeup for stage appearances). Everyone knows you. You can't have a private moment. The royal family takes this to a new level with touring villages and other gala events.
Reputation is fragile. If you have anything to lose - title, money, acting roles, or otherwise - accusations and trials will kill that. Ask Johnny Depp (falsely accused by a woman that harmed him) about losing an acting role. Ask Meghan and Harry about losing their support. People with something to lose have to stay in the lines to keep what they have, as well, so if they challenge the status quo it can end badly for them (especially if someone cares more about their reputation or the reputation of a group than improving the situation). Innocent people, famous and living life under a magnifying glass, have been ruined to protect others - and I am not just talking about royal families in history. It is amazingly cruel how the public accusations of someone who is lying, and providing false evidence, can lead the public to hate an individual who did nothing. Reputation can be destroyed and the press will eat it up with a spoon. In this way, the public can be manipulated to hate someone and the person who is innocent can be judged and sentenced as guilty, even before a court trial. While some aren't innocent (obviously), we don't have an accurate idea of who is and isn't on the side of good.
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| Photo by Sonny With A Chance 2009 |
Fame has a cost when it comes to some sensitive souls and situations that arise from continuing in the celebrity lifestyle unbalanced. We know Demi Lovato had some drug issues due to overwork and has relapsed at times, partly because she doesn't have a private life anymore. The general public has both supported and judged her at different times. Overwork is a serious issue that led the Beatles to do drugs, also, so drugs are a common problem here. Suicide, depression, and mental illness have taken a few celebrities to their graves, either because they lost the fame or had too much of it. Meghan Markle was becoming suicidal in her position, as an example. Anne Hathaway has dealt with depression. Marilyn Monroe overdosed on drugs. The stress and anxiety of living in a fishbowl takes its toll and we see that being at the top is not all glamour and gold.
That doesn't mean some celebs can't balance themselves and keep their sanity. What I'm saying is fame is not easy to handle.
Fame and money
Fame can be described as a drug, a need and constant desire for attention and applause from others. It is why we use social media. It is a competition. The need for acknowledgment, excess, and praise is a desire of human nature, one that can lead some to do anything to get it. Max Lorde (a villain in Wonder Woman 1984) illustrates this purpose rather well. Max Lorde came from an unhealthy family situation and felt that he need to be validated and prove himself. Someone who is unbalanced from the beginning is more of a risk. People who have previous issues are not the people that should be on display for all to see. Celebs that decided to find a private place, made sure it stayed private, then used it for their private escape did well for themselves emotionally. We all need time alone (in varying amounts).
What makes an unbalanced human? As I said, not enough time to process emotion and life events.
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| Photo by IGN |
Quick rises to fame don't do well, often, due to the lack of time to balance themselves and create healthy boundaries. Add to this swift rise that the person can't truly make sense of everything going on and we have a big, publicly displayed problem. This embarrasses the person and causes judgment to rain on them (even if it is a small group of people). Judgment leads to anxiety and it all spirals until they could end up in rehab, or worse, overdosed or suicidal. Dramatic? A bit. True? Absolutely. The most balanced celebrities are more mature in age or nature and started from the bottom of the pile, rising slowly while learning how to handle it bit by bit. Fast fame creates messes and disorients the person, but slow fame teaches lessons that benefit them when they are a big name. Big names are often viewed more.
Narcissists, all about themselves, do well here in fame-city because they don't care about what people say and do whatever they want. They take what they want, do whatever, and eat up all the publicity. Likes, dislikes, comments.....It doesn't matter what the public says. It is all about the narcissist. Beware of these people. They are not okay and shouldn't be given attention at all. Attention is their drug and they don't take responsibility for their actions.
Big names, like royalty, also do lots of tours and appear for crowds. If they are suicidal, depressed, or feel anxiety internally you might not see it. After a while celebs put on a mask. Depression is a silent killer because their mindset is to deal with it alone. It makes it harder to get help. Mental issues are embarrassing and give ammo to those who go after reputations. It is not as easy as casually calling your therapist for an afternoon session. Why? Because some people have mouths leaking information, paparazzi, and your own emotions make it hard to ask for help. Put yourself here and ask what you would do in their shoes. Tabloids can take any picture of you and twist it. Do you understand, now? I thought so.
Balanced Celebrities
I mentioned celebrities that were balanced. Here we can talk about how some learned to deal with it. This doesn't mean they are perfect. The information below is about how they cope with it, not how to be perfect. With fame comes responsibility. Fame takes your personal energy away from you to give to people who don't give it back and don't always care about you.
Perfection is unattainable. Stop trying to be everyone's perfect human. You can't please all of the public all the time, so don't. That advice goes for non-celebs, too. Taking advice too personally can lead to lots of issues. Every human you meet has a different point of view, opinion, and background. Your worth is not based on the human races' peer review of you. In this way, you are also no better than the rest of the human race. (I personally believe that in Christ we are all on equal footing and no one human is above another.) You are not superior to anyone. All humans need help at times. Get that help. Go get that counseling. Process your life and emotions.
Boundaries and where you stand on issues are not to be ignored. Make it clear what you will and won't do, and what you want out of your fame. Don't change your mind often on these convictions. Consistency is your friend. It gives you integrity.
Family and friends who will support you, even when your fans won't, are necessary, and shouldn't be neglected for fame, or you will pay. The support system will help you through many issues and crises in the future. Ask these people for help when you need it.
Mistakes happen. Learn from them. Don't repeat them time and time again. This will also give you integrity. Don't be afraid to apologize - but, yet, don't apologize for standing up for yourself when wronged. This is a tightrope walk that your support system can help you with.
I don't know who will be reading this blog, but the last part of this post involves my personal faith in Christ. If you are a Christian and find yourself in the spotlight you might find the advice below helpful.
Christ comes first, in my personal belief, so if you put Him first He will guide you. Not that life will be rainbows and lollipops (it never is, not for anyone), not at all, but my point is simply that Jesus will lead you where you need to be and guide your boundaries and interactions. I don't know your personal journey. I am not assuming anything about you. I advocate that you yield to Christ's leading in everything, all the same.
Sources:
stinavillarreal.com/2010/03/26/psychological-impact-being-spotlight-emotional-struggle-of-celebrities/
https://www.saybrook.edu/unbound/fame-is-a-dangerous-drug/
https://www.everydayhealth.com/depression/fame-fortune-and-despair-1477.aspx
https://higherselfconcepts.com/how-fame-affects-your-life-how-celebrities-deal-with-it/
http://vmhmagazine.com/6-tips-on-how-to-manage-your-fame-and-success/
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