Monday, December 26, 2022

dealing with DMs

 I started this blog to get attention drawn to my writing career, not my love life. I seem to be getting a few more random DMs these days from people who didn't read my bio. Word to the wise, I am married. Today we're going to talk about how all of us should respond to the people who randomly DM us online.

Courtesy of YouTube

People with a blog or any consistent online presence may get random direct messages (DMs) from strangers. Celebrities (of which I am not one) and other people with larger names get the odd letter or odd message at times. I didn't think having a blog, with a bio clearly stating I have a significant other,  would lead to unwanted flirtation DMs, but here we are. I am not going to post pictures of these DMs for the sake of privacy and my unwillingness to humiliate others. I will leave the roasting to those YouTubers who do it for comedy.

Unwanted DMs

What are unwanted DMs? Any strange human who contacts you in a creepy, flirtatious, or unsolicited way. In other words, you didn't ask for their contact and they made contact with you. The unsolicited messages that help my writing career, or are related to posts where I asked for someone's help, don't count for my definition. Those were prompted by other posts, as opposed to Mr. X over here who says "your profile picture is cute" and he wants to get to know you. 

I have found multiple other women, almost exclusively, who get these messages from their social media. Yep, it may be because I'm female. Both genders surely get these, but it seems that women get more of them. I have had only one female contact me like this, only one, and they respectfully left me alone. Some people did stop after the courtesy message I used to put up. This message basically said I am on social media for my writing career, I stated my current relationship status (married), and said I wasn't interested. The majority of the six or so decided to leave me alone. Only three tried to keep messaging and got blocked immediately. 

I put myself on TikTok for future book promotion purposes and I have gotten four unwanted DMs as of the last time I looked, all from Facebook and not TikTok. So many guys I don't know have friend requested me. That is why this blog post is going out with my project update post. Click here for my update on my novel.




What you could do

You see all these online personalities roasting these DMs. I could literally take a picture and post it all over my blogs, but I refuse. That is an invasion of privacy. You'll notice that the YouTubers generally edit the names so they are not viewable. This is why.  While it would feel good to really expose the creepy men on the internet I doubt it'd do that much good. I'd just be dropping to a new low. Experts say this only fuels unbalanced individuals. Don't do it. The fire doesn't need to be fueled by a response.

Chat them back? I could, but no thank you. Just because one person chatted with you doesn't mean you have to return the favor. The internet allows you to ignore them, a blessing I take advantage of. The silence they get in return douses the fire. 

Send them the rejection hotline or any other false phone number? I have been tempted to. Yet, that would require chatting them back. So no, I won't be doing that. 

The best option 

Some feel that messages must be returned, but do they really have to be? No, not when it comes to unsolicited, unwanted flirtations. The best option is to leave the chat alone and/or block them. I have decided I am no longer sending courtesy messages. Crickets and ghosting seem to work just as well. Don't waste your time when you get these DMs. I certainly don't have time to waste, and neither do you. 
 
The truth is that they want a reaction, much like gossipers do. Ignoring it is the advice experts give. In the case of harassment, you can directly message them to leave you alone, which is probably what my courtesy message served as. Again, the block button always works. Instagram will even let you delete a message before you open it. In the case of someone legally stalking you, call law enforcement to report it and go from there. I have never been stalked by any of the random DM senders I've encountered, but I also don't put all that much personal info out on my blog or my social media. Internet safety is not just for kids. 

Examples of unwanted texts

Should you not understand why this is distressing, let me give you a rundown of what some women have received in the past and present. I have not seen the worst of these, but I did for sure get asked if I needed a sugar daddy. He got blocked. The block button is my best friend in this scenario before they get even one message past that. I'm not posting my own DMs. I don't let them get past "you're cute" or "hi" before I block them in most cases. 

One scenario that women get is a "hi" message and then dick picks or unwanted selfies. Another is the "you're so pretty", "your name is so beautiful", and "Can I get to know you?" line. Nothing good comes of responding in all scenarios, as even a polite rejection can get a violent, cussing response. Distressing? Yes, especially if you respond. Don't give them the fuel for the fire. 

A Courtesy Message 

I suspect my blog may or may not have attracted some of those DMs and for that reason, I am putting out a courtesy message. If you have questions about my current novel and want to DM me, state your business in the first message and I will respond. Family and friends are also free to DM me anytime. I am leaving this warning here for anyone who intends to DM me with anything flirtatious. The recent four messages I received and the friend requests from strange men seem to make this message necessary. 

I will be straight with you. Do not direct message me if you don't have a writing career-related purpose or you intend to slide into my DMs.  I have to be friends with you outside the internet or you have to clearly state your intentions for me to respond, especially if I don't know you in person. I will no longer be putting out courtesy messages individually. You should read my bio before you hit send because I am married. Consider this your courtesy message. Expect crickets and silence when you do hit send, and expect to be blocked if you start with any type of flirtation. Thank you for understanding. 


Sources:

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/creepy-slide-into-dms-advice

https://www.shethepeople.tv/home-top-video/direct-messages-men-send-women-social-media/

https://www.bolde.com/dont-respond-guys-slide-dms-neither-you/

What To Do When You Receive Unwanted Sexual or Provocative Messages from Admirers – Phil Cooke

An Update On My Current Project

 Hello! I don't know if you know, but I am completely finished with the editing process of my current project. I have been working on a suspense novel titled Wrenville for a year or more. Today you're going to hear an update on the entire project and what comes next. 

Courtesy of shiq4.wordpress.com

I went through the editing process and finally finished it at the end of this year. I intend to release Wrenville in January of 2023. Right now I am working on a marketing plan. 

I intend to wait to release Wrenville in 2023 because I would one, like to enjoy my holiday season before jumping in with both feet, and two, need a plan set in place for the sake of my sanity. I would like to have some clear steps set before me prior to the novel's release. I will be creating a website and announcing the name of that website on a future blog post. Keep your eyes open for further updates amongst the rest of the blog posts.

Courtesy of coolpun.com

There are a few ways you can help me promote my future published book and one of them is to subscribe to the blog, as well as find me on social media. After you do that, I would greatly appreciate sharing any and all social media posts I put out there. I need to get as many people to see my posts as possible. I am on TikTok as "theintroverteddetective" and I am on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook as Cathy Baker or Catherine Baker. Click here for a blog on dealing with DMs.

*I have gotten several direct messages that seem to be flirtations. Anyone reading this should know that I do not blog to get that attention, and furthermore, am married. I will respond to for-sure flirtations by hitting the block button. If you do direct message me about my current writing project please announce your intentions clearly. I do not have time to deal with flirtations and may not respond to you at all otherwise. Thank you for understanding.*

Aside from that warning, I  promise that I am approachable as a human being. I am just tired of flirtatious direct messages that prove people didn't read my bio. I appreciate all of you that read my blog. 

 I will be announcing the coming of Wrenville on Amazon with a blog post, much like the future website blog post that will come before it. Today's update isn't long. I simply want to be clear and open with all of you who look forward to the coming of Wrenville. Some of you know how long I've waited to get this far on the project.

If you've read this far down, you deserve a sneak peek of the ebook cover and the synopsis. 


The ebook cover of Wrenville
Created by Cathy Baker using Canva
Jack Thomas, a private investigator on the run from one of his past cases, found Wrenville in an effort to hide. Is he safe here, or has his past caught up with him? 





Monday, December 19, 2022

Classic Christmas Movies


 I know a lot of us have different ideas about what are classics. We love our Christmas movies in December. Let's look at the long list of good Christmas movies that all of us love. 

Courtesy of Alpha Coders

There are three categories that I'm putting them into. The first is directly Christmas related, which means it takes place on Christmas day or directly involves Santa Claus. The second is mostly Christmas related, which involves many Christmas-related themes most of the time. The third category is when Christmas is clearly just a background aspect that isn't a part of the main plot at all. 

Directly Christmas Related

These directly involve Santa Claus or Christmas day. I'll describe the plot of each unless it is a broader category. I'll note the ones that I personally love. 

Miracle On 34th Street is about a Santa Claus that works for Macy's store. He causes a stir when he claims to be the real Santa Claus and a trial is held. Kris Kringle connects with a woman and her daughter in the process, inspiring them both to believe he is who he claims to be. 

Christmas Carol has several versions and my family and I often go to the local theatre to see it live. It is the story of Ebenezer Scrooge, a man who is rich and miserable. He learns the true meaning of Christmas and paying attention to the poor on the streets through three spirits his dead partner Marley sends to him. 

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is about exactly what the title suggests. Rudolph meets up with an elf who wants to be a dentist, a yeti monster, the island of misfit toys, and a lot of reindeer that bully him - that is until he leads the way with his bright red nose. 

A Christmas Story follows a family that is celebrating Christmas, with all the comedy you could ever need in a Christmas family film. The actual houses are in Cleveland, Ohio. The family comes up against the neighbors' hound dogs stealing the turkey, little Ralphie asking for a bb gun and being told he'd shoot his eye out, and a kid sticking his tongue to a pole on a dare. That isn't even all the fun. Go watch it. I love it and watch it every single year. 




The Santa Clause series (starring Tim Allen) includes more than one film. There are two sequels labeled helpfully with the film number in the title. The first is when Scott (Tim Allen) accidentally kills Santa and is forced by the magic of Christmas to take his place. He then embraces his new life as Santa. The second takes place eight years after, where he discovers he must marry or lose his role, and his son is on the naughty list. The third and final one is when Scott's inlaws come over while Jack Frost is scheming to control the North Pole. It sounds strange, but I've seen stranger plots in movies. 

Polar Express is a classic some people adore. It is about a young boy who is allowed to board a train to the North Pole, where he learns the magic never fades if you truly believe. It is cute. I can't say it is my favorite, but it's cute. My one coworker can say it's her favorite, though. This one is aimed at kids in my experience. You can actually find trains doing Polar Express-themed rides. 

Nightmare Before Christmas is a hard one to place in a category due to the Halloween theme that is most of the movie. It is here because Jack Skellington takes over Christmas when he tires of being the pumpkin king. He swiftly finds out this was a mistake. In the process, he kidnaps Santa Claus and Oogie Boogie decides to attempt to kill Santa. Santa fixes everything Jack did wrong in the end. It is based on a poem and made by Tim Burton in impressive claymation. I love this one for both Halloween and Christmas. 




A Charlie Brown Christmas is beloved among so many people I know. Charlie Brown, as usual, is depressed. He is depressed by the commercialism of Christmas and attempts to put on a Christmas play. This play goes rather badly when everyone has forgotten the true meaning of Christmas - except Linus. Linus then tells Charlie Brown the story of Jesus' birth. Charlie grabs a little tree, which is then saved by Linus when he walks away in depression. Then everyone sings a carol as they come around to the true spirit of Christmas. Yay! It's adorable. Go watch it. 

How The Grinch Stole Christmas is my absolute, drop-everything favorite all year long. I kid you not. I have memorized most of it. The green, furry Grinch doesn't like Christmas noise and steals all the presents in revolt. He then goes to drop it all off a mountain, but stops when the Whos in Whoville celebrate despite no gifts under the tree and no feast to eat. He learns that Christmas doesn't come from a store and returns it all, even carving the roast beast at the end. I love, adore, and even cherish this Dr. Seuss classic. Drop everything and go listen to Boris Karloff (the best version in my opinion) read it to you. It's free on Youtube. I'll just put it here for your convenience. 


Mostly Christmas Related

Here we have Christmas themes throughout the plot, but not a direct reference to Christmas Day, Santa Claus, or Christmas itself. It is obviously Christmas, yet not the focus of our plot. Let's get into it. 

It's A Wonderful Life is a Jimmy Stewart classic that is purely a Christmas movie and nothing else to me. I love it and save it for Christmas week. I am an old soul. I love the old black and white films. This one has a story to it, one that breaks my heart a little. Jimmy Stewart filmed this movie after the war and dealt with PTSD episodes as a result of the war. There are two or three scenes that look like episodes of PTSD, including the one I'll put below this paragraph. The plot is about George Bailey, who owns the building and loan that helps so many people get out of the slums. He loses money that he owes and thinks he's worth more dead than alive. The man is unraveling and people send up so many prayers that an angel is sent to save him. He gets to see what life looks like without him and realizes that he had a wonderful life. He is brought back to this life to find that everyone pitched in to pay off his debt while he was running around town with the intent to commit suicide. It's beautiful. It also happens at Christmas time with strong Christmas vibes. 


Elf is the next one with all of the Christmas vibes, yet most of the focus is on our main character. Buddy the elf accidentally crawled into Santa's bag as an infant, was raised in the North Pole, and now gets sent to his father in New York. His father didn't know he existed. Most of the movie is Buddy trying to deal with his new reality and generally being a man-child. Will Ferrel does an excellent job of acting like a child. He's a talented man that can do more than comedy but is mostly known for comedy. This one gets lots of attention. Will Ferrel made himself sick on the food he ate and the 2 liter soda he chugged (for real!) while filming. 

Frosty the Snowman is about Frosty the Snowman, a snowman who comes to life and plays with children. Simple, aimed at kids, and family-friendly. I can't say too much about the plot other than it is what the song describes, just like Rudolph. He promises to come back on Christmas day when the children get all sad about him leaving. Santa transports him to the North Pole. There are more than one, if you look up Frosty the Snowman. It's adorable and cute. 

Jingle All The Way is one I was kind of annoyed by, but if it's your jam you can freely watch it to your heart's content. A man is trying to make up for missing parts of his son's life by getting him Turbo Man at a parade featuring Turbo Man. Every store sold out of this toy and his one shot is at the parade. Every human who wants this toy is going far and wide to find it. It doesn't really embody the true meaning of Christmas and a toy won't fix a relationship that has broken. If you like Arnold Schwarzenegger, though, he's the main character and you might love it. 

Home Alone is all about a kid who got left at home during Christmas vacation and has to protect his home from burglars. Christmas vibes are everywhere. Most of the plot is the kid laying traps and destroying the house and the burglars. I know it has sequels that are mostly the same concept. They are universally known as Christmas movies. 

White Christmas is mostly dancing and lots of Fred Astaire. It takes place at a Christmas show in a Vermont lodge. There are romantic mix-ups and comedy. The two main brothers find out that their former general (during the war) owns the lodge. If you love dancing like my bestie does you'll love this movie. It might be close to the style of Singing in the Rain, so if you like that movie this might be a fast favorite. 



Gremlins is a Christmas movie. Why? It takes places during Christmas and allegedly talks about commercialism. Christmas music is everywhere in it. "Do you hear what I hear" will never be the same. Gremlins can represent when commercialism takes over Christmas, which means it becomes chaos. The plot is about a boy who gets Gizmo the mogwai and breaks the rules that come with him. He gets him wet and then Gizmo spawns more, which then trick someone into feeding them after midnight. The last rule is what destroys the evil duplicates; they are all exposed to light. The Chinese man that gave the boy the mogwai takes him back at the end of the movie, as he rightfully should. Poor Gizmo had gone through too much.



Christmas is the background only

Now we talk about the movies that give the vibes of Christmas and don't put Christmas at the heart of their plot at all. Maybe they just include winter. Maybe they put Christmas in one scene and the rest of it has nothing to do with Christmas. Yet, we still consider them Christmas-y films. There is nothing wrong with that. 

Little Women is a story written by Louisa May Alcott. It stars four young women growing up in the years after the civil war. One scene is all about their father coming home for Christmas. It is a beautiful tale of sisterly love and family that won't bore you to tears. I even read the book, which is just as amazing. Pick up the book or pull out the movie (2019 is the best one in my opinion). Grab some popcorn for the tree and start stringing cranberries. 

We have to talk about those Hallmark movies. Some will watch them all year. Christmas and winter may be the background, but well all know the focus is the romantic tension and cute vibes between the couple featured. There are hundreds of these fluffy Christmas tales out there. One could watch them all year long and never run out. I don't, but you can. I don't find much depth in these stories. You can only see a series of movies with a clear formula so many times before you tire of it. 

Jack Frost is heartwarming. It is the tale of a man who dies in a car crash and is given one last chance to put everything right with his son as a snowman. It stars Michael Keaton as Jack Frost. It is amazing. You should watch it at least once. It is mostly just winter themed with sprinkles of Christmas vibe. You'll find this one charming and emotional. You might cry and that is okay. 

While You Were Sleeping is a movie that my mom watched so many times in my childhood that I was thoroughly tired of it by age seven. Nevertheless, it is a cute movie, just not after the twentieth time of watching it. Sandra Bulloch (Lucy) and Lonestar - sorry, I mean Bill Pullman (Jack) have a romance as a result of a misunderstanding. Lucy saves Peter (Jack's brother) from falling onto the train tracks and the family welcomes her under the misunderstanding that she is his fiancee while he is in a coma. It all gets comedic and complicated from there. It's cute and funny. I do like it.

Die Hard seems to be a Christmas movie and I don't understand. I don't have to understand. I just have to put it on the list. A Christmas party is held hostage by terrorists and a New York policeman (played by Bruce Willis) visiting his estranged wife is the only hope of saving everyone. Fun times. There are also sequels. This movie is lots of action and only one connection to Christmas. You may love this and you can feel free to. Everyone has their own classics in their head and this could be one of yours. 

Lastly, we have Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. It is Christmas in only one scene. This is the first Harry Potter film. Ron decides to stay over Christmas break to be with Harry at Hogwarts, so he isn't alone. Harry also gets a sweater from Mrs. Weasley. Harry Potter plots get complicated. You can watch the movie for yourself. The basic rundown is this; Harry discovers he's a wizard and chaos ensues at Hogwarts. Although, the chaos ensuing at Hogwarts could describe the entire series minus one book. 


I hope you liked my list of Christmas classics and Merry Christmas! God bless us, every one!

 

Sources:

Monday, December 12, 2022

Charles Dickens and the poor


We all know Christmas Carol had the not-so-subtle message of caring for the poor, but did anything else in Dicken's collection share that theme? You bet. He made it a point to talk about the poor. 

Courtesy of Evening Standard


Today I'm diving into how Charles Dickens connects to the poor on the streets. We'll start by introducing the man himself and transition into his literary works and novels. 

Charles Dickens

Charles Dickens was born in 1812. The industrial world of Britain was struggling to make laws for a changing population. In 1831 and 1832 he was a reporter for the Mirror of Parliament. Soon after he began writing books. His way of making the public aware of the situation was to bring it straight into the public's eyes on the pages of a book. He was a philanthropist spending more than a decade helping destitute women in mid-19th century London. He was doing something similar to Rahab ministry: giving women and girls in prostitution a safe house and teaching them ways to work that don't involve sex. He was all about education so that crime could be prevented (in his mind education was one of the answers to prevention).

What you may not know about him is that his family's fall from grace left him in a bad place around the age of 12. He was taken out of school and made to work in a London shoe dyeing factory. He had felt the liberty of having money and then being denied it. He understood what it was like to be poor. He knew the steep difference between doing well and working in squalor. His father was in prison for debt in 1824. Eventually, he worked his way back to success and was a highly successful author. He is known most for Oliver Twist, Pickwick Papers, Christmas Carol, David Copperfield, and several other works. He only completed half of  The Mystery of Edwin Drood before his death in 1870. The performance you now see of the play version has the audience vote on the culprit because they couldn't figure out who the intended culprit was. 

The Mystery of Edwin Drood
Courtesy of Metro Times 

The Poor On The Streets

This is where we go through the book plots and point out what he says about the poor on the streets. We'll start with Christmas Carol and move forward from there. 

Christmas Carol is shockingly obvious. Look at the Crachits for a second. They depend on the wages from Scrooge to even have a tiny house, just like Dickens did as a child. All the same, they can't afford to treat Tiny Tim for whatever ails him. Are they struggling? Yes, but they can still praise God for what they have. Scrooge has all the money in the world and is miserable. The contrast is striking. Not only do the Crachits speak volumes, but the ghosts do, too. They all mock Scrooge with his own words (if they speak at all). George C. Scott's film version of the Christmas Carol is the only one I've found that says that Scrooge may be less fit to live than Tiny Tim and the ones on the street. Christmas Present is brutal on Scrooge because the ghost sees all that Scrooge doesn't do for his fellow men and women. He knows Scrooge is part of the problem and the reason why so many are on the streets and in horrible workhouses, prisons, and streets without food. Christmas Present was supposed to shake him mentally and should shake us a bit, too. He is a reminder that we all need to help each other and reach out to help our fellow men and women, and that we are responsible for giving aid to those around us all year long. 
Victorian-era poverty had little help to give if any at all.

And we aren't even done with Christmas Carol, yet. Fred and Fezziwig are both joyful characters who treat workers well, with good pay and time off to celebrate festivities. These are shining examples of people who care and do their part in creating good work situations and providing for the people around them in more ways than one. Their spirit of love is contagious. They contrast with Scrooge as Christmas Present and Past lead Scrooge around through time. As for the workhouses and prisons, we know Dickens knew what those looked like. He knew what those institutions were like and had even visited Blackwell Island (see here for information on Blackwell Island). There were indeed areas that the rich never walked, which is reflected by how little Scrooge knew of the poorer dwellings. The industrial revolution had made some parts of town more dangerous than others. That is even true of today. I'll end this commentary on Christmas Carol with the challenge to remember the people who live where you don't. Not everyone lives in a prosperous neighborhood. 



Oliver Twist is another one that hits the poverty theme hard. It takes place in a workhouse with little Oliver Twist as our main character. He was born into poverty and finds that he was an illegitimate son later on. I can't sum up this plot easily, so click here for a more detailed book plot. This one hits on how being illegitimate makes you hated already (as his half-brother doesn't want him to inherit anything). Not only that but he was given up to an orphanage to hide him - the result of his mother's affair. This is as much of a commentary on being an orphan as it is being illegitimate (which is what bastard means and continues to be an insult today). Not only that, but the poor laws offered four options to innocent orphans who weren't adopted, which included early death, the workhouse, a life of crime, or prison. The children in this book are taught to steal. This book also includes a murder of a young woman who was involved in crime but tried to save Oliver from the streets. The streets of poverty created career criminals who often rotted in prison. It is noted, though, that Oliver gets all the lucky breaks and that isn't normal. 
Some of the themes in all his other stuff include debt and imprisonment, guilty feelings for being poor, and the idea that poverty breeds crime. His books don't have easy plots to explain, either, so I think I'll let you read his works from this point on for yourself. 

Conclusions

Charles Dickens has a lot of social commentary in his stuff. He fights for the poor because he was one. He knew what it all felt like. He was also right about the fact that poverty breeds crime, which makes everything worse. He knew how hard life was when the poor were given next to no aid, depending on wages that barely fed them and pay their rent. This is precisely why Victorian servanthood was better than the streets; at least you are automatically fed and housed, even if you can't have much personal life at all. Dickens spoke up. 

I know not all of you are Christian. All the same, I'll say it. Jesus also fought for the poor and went to them first. Let's do the same. 



Sources:


Monday, December 5, 2022

Origin of Caroling


You see caroling in every Christmas Carol movie, youth groups go caroling, and you hear Christmas carols all over your radio stations the minute November pops up (which annoys some to no end because it suggests Thanksgiving is worth skipping over). Do we truly know what caroling is? Let's find out. 

1847 by Granger - courtesy of Fine Arts America


Today I am researching where caroling started and how it became what it is now. I'll start with what it began as and go chronologically into what it currently is. Ready to go? All bundled up? Great!

Wassailing

Do you know what wassail is? It is a drink akin to what became today's eggnog. It was traditionally given to travelers in the spirit of hospitality since winter weather was not kind. It seems to me that our society has lost some of that spirit of hospitality (though in many cases it might not be a good time to bring it back, given our current worldly state).  Wassailing was not even singing but in fact well-wishing door-to-door. Which might involve the wassail being given in return. You brought a bowl with you often to share with those you visited.

Wassail at Amber Valley Vineyard 
Courtesy of greatfoodclub.co.uk

Wassailing can also be visiting orchards and drinking. What? Yes, you sing to trees in hopes of a good harvest. Fruit trees were to be blessed. Cider-producing England still does this. According to Historic UK this is what happens. 

"The celebrations vary from region to region, but generally involve a wassail King and Queen leading the assembled group of revellers, comprising the farmers, farm workers and general villagers, in a noisy procession from one orchard to the next. In each orchard the wassailers gather round the biggest and best tree, and as a gift to the tree spirits, the Queen places a piece of wassail soaked toast into its branches, accompanied by songs such as;

“Apple tree, apple tree we all come to wassail thee,
Bear this year and next year to bloom and blow,
Hat fulls, cap fulls, three cornered sacks fills…”

The wassailers then move on to the next orchard; singing, shouting, banging pots and pans, and even firing shotguns, generally making as much noise as possible in order to both waken the sleeping tree spirits, and also to frighten off any evil demons that may be lurking in the branches."

Wassailing  courtesy of Historic UK
The singing was encouraged by Saint Francis of Assisi, who wanted the church to embrace music. He started this trend. It hit like wildfire and hasn't ended since it began in the 13th century. Songs that were passed down from generation to generation were finally written down and published in 1582. Those songs have gone from medieval tunes to modern spins on those tunes, but remain even today. 

Some claim that the poor sang for food, that they weren't allowed to sing these in the church originally, or that English pagan society started this.  There is a story that Carol Poles went missing in London and caroling began there because they sang to make clear good intentions while searching. It's sweet, but no factual basis has been found. 

I do believe that the poor would sing for money and food, as illustrated by various versions of Christmas Carol. Feudal peasants would go to their Lord (English title, not Jesus) and sing for food. It was a way to get some money for food or food itself in return. On occasion, bands of drunken men would make this tradition less charming. This band of men with no inhibition left would bang on the doors of the wealthy demanding food. Bring us figgy pudding indeed! It was considered bad luck to not give carolers anything, however, so either way, they probably got their figgy pudding. 

I'm going to return to the idea that pagan society started this. It began not with Christmas Carols, but with songs to celebrate winter solstice while dancing around stone circles. They used to sing for all seasons it seems, but Christmas is the only survivor left. When Christmas was celebrated at the same time as winter solstice this began the caroling, and from here Saint Francis Assisi revived Christan Christmas celebrations with his new carols that weren't in Latin. Puritans nearly killed carols, but they were sung in secret around that time, mostly in homes and not churches.

The biggest carols were Silent Night (written allegedly by Joseph Mohr and Franz Gruber on a broken organ), The Twelve Days of Christmas (a memory game children played in 18th Century England), and Joy to the World. I Saw Three Ships was sung by minstrels and the words changed based on location. 

A bit of trivia is in order. In some places, Christmas music before December or after Christmas day is considered unlucky. In this case, I have already broken that rule and I am listening to carols right now, on Nov. 22nd. Oops.

 Jingle bells was a thanksgiving song originally. So Thanksgiving did have music, believe it or not. It was written by James Lord Pierpoint in 1850. 


Today

People still brave the cold to sing door-to-door. We still sing those well-known carols, except for perhaps "here we go a wassailing", which has lost some meaning after generations of time have passed. The point is to bring Christmas cheer to friends and family, as well as anyone else in your neighborhood who cares to open their door. 

I will caution you on doing this in modern times, however, as some neighborhoods might not be open to this practice and may not be safe to walk around at any time of day. You must remember that a closed, gated community might be okay to do this in, but other places may be particularly unsafe to walk in, let alone sing in. Be safe this Christmas. I love you all and would like to make sure you exercise caution going door-to-door. 

Don't trespass on peoples' property just to sing them carols, especially in rural areas. Maybe call ahead and have a route of people who want to hear you sing. Prearranged visiting is just as good as a surprise. The prearranging may even get you hot cocoa, so consider that when planning the route. The elderly may want to hear you sing. Nursing homes, assisted living homes, and any elderly on your street may be a good places to "wassail" and sing. Church groups are good places to plan a caroling outing. People can sign up to be on the route in this situation, guaranteeing that you won't be chased away by anyone resembling Scrooge. 

And for anyone who wants to see a wassail in an orchard from the year...hold onto your hat....2020 in Somerset UK here it is. 



Sources:

 https://www.arcadiapublishing.com/Navigation/Community/Arcadia-and-THP-Blog/November-2018/The-Little-Known-History-of-the-Caroling-Tradition#:~:text=An%20early%20version%20of%20caroling,wishes%20during%20the%20colder%20months.

https://people.howstuffworks.com/culture-traditions/holidays-christmas/christmas-caroler1.htm

https://www.thedailymeal.com/holidays/christmas-caroling-origins

https://www.whychristmas.com/customs/carols_history.shtml

https://blogs.jwpepper.com/caroling-caroling-the-history-of-caroling/

Christmas 2020 Good Luck Traditions: Is It Bad Luck to Sing Xmas Songs Before December 25 and Not Kiss Under the Mistletoe? 6 Interesting Things You Should Know of | 🙏🏻 LatestLY

Wassailing (historic-uk.com)







Monday, November 28, 2022

sleeping well


Need help getting a good night's rest? Here is what I found and compiled. Maybe we can sleep better together. 

Courtesy of Acme Mind Clinic


Anxiety rises and sleep becomes elusive. Need help? I'm pretty sure everyone does. We could all do with a better sleep schedule when life kicks us in the back end. Today we dive into what you can do to sleep well. 

Sleep Schedule

What? A consistent sleep schedule is needed? Gasp! Most of us don't really have it. It is easy to forget your body works better on a consistent timer. Ideally, it should be no more than 8 hours of sleep, but at least 7 hours are necessary. Get up and go to bed at the same time if possible. Consistent timing reinforces your sleep-wake cycle. This includes weekends, you night owls. 

What if you don't fall asleep within 20 minutes? Easy, go do something relaxing, like reading or listening to music (relaxing music, look on youtube for ASMR or music compilations). Once tired go back to bed. Don't just stare at a clock or it'll stress you more. 

 Courtesy of Britaniablog.blogspot.com

Irregular sleep patterns can lead to odd dreams, too. In my case, it causes sleep paralysis dreams to happen more often. It can develop a good mental alarm to keep your sleep schedule on a consistent basis. Your alarm could be obsolete after you get your natural rhythm going. 

Creating a ritual for sleep makes a difference in all ages. I will turn off any laptop activity a half hour before bed. During college, I'd quit doing homework at 10:30 pm and hit the sack no matter what was done or wasn't. Lowering lights may put your brain in sleep mode, too. 

Food Choices Matter

Don't go to bed overly full or hungry. Don't have a heavy meal within a couple hours of bedtime. Nicotine, coffee, and alcohol should be cautioned, as those take hours to wear off. 

Late in the day is not the time for caffeine. Even 6 hours before bed it keeps you up. At 3 or 4 pm you might want to not drink it. Decaf is okay in the evening, obviously, but save the regular coffee for your wake-up call. 

While we're talking about drinks, alcohol isn't a good thing to drink before bed. It disrupts circadian rhythm. Late-night snacks, however, may help depending on the snack it is. Drinking anything before bed doesn't help. At 1 to 2 hours before bed stop drinking. Go to the bathroom before going to bed, so you'll not have to get up at night. 

Chocolate is one thing you shouldn't have right before bed. I know that sounds weird, but caffeine is in chocolate. I didn't know that until I researched this blog. Now you know too. Acidic and spicy foods may want to be avoided, as well. 

Atmosphere Of Sleep

The idea is to keep it cool, dark, and quiet. Light exposure wakes your body up.  If needed masks are made for sleeping and ear plugs for sleep exist. Turn a fan on if it gets too hot (if you have one). Temperature does impact your sleep. Too cold and you freeze, then too hot and you can't sleep at all. 

Calming activities return for the win! Do yourself a huge favor and do something rather calming before bed. A nice bath, a book, anything that isn't device related, and even some sleep apps will help you transition to sleep mode mentally. Try to have as few devices lit in the room as possible. Cover bright lights. You can add peaceful aromas to your bedroom if it helps you. 

Courtesy of Blogspot.com
That reminds me, get off your screens and avoid blue light before bed. I like to stop gaming or using my computer an hour or half an hour before bed. Blue light can be blocked by glasses made to block blue light. You can also download an app to shut off the blue light on your device. TV being shut off two hours before bed may be a good idea. 

Make sure you have a good mattress and pillow to sleep on. It matters what level of comfort you have. Lower back pain can happen if you don't. It is recommended you replace the bedding after 5 to 8 years. The bed should also be reserved for only sleep (and if married, sex) so that your brain only associates it with those two things. 

Don't Nap For Long

Yes, you are exhausted, but if you nap late in the day or for more than one hour it will hit your sleep cycle. It will throw it off. This is only if you don't work nights. It may actually be necessary to nap a bit before work to make up for lack of sleep if you do work nights. 

This is also based on the individual case, as some don't have disrupted sleep when used to long naps. It all depends on you.

Daily Routine

Do you take walks, dance Zumba, play sports, or do any type of exercise daily? You might want to add it to your routine, even if it means you merely take a walk on your lunch break. Why? It helps you sleep better, provided you don't do it right before bed. Outdoors also promote good sleep. I know I sleep better while camping. 

Expose yourself to sunlight and bright lights during your day, which promotes your circadian rhythm. It can give you more energy, too, which means you should go walk in the park. 

Also, don't smoke. It is bad for you in general and does have a habit of causing sleep issues. Nicotine is bad. Sleep is good. 

Deal With Your Stress

Before bedtime deal with your stresses. Put a journal by your bed and jot down anything that needs brain dumped (or the tasks that need doing that come to mind). A full mind will stay awake and keep you from falling asleep. A bath or shower before bed works, too. A foot bath alone ups the probability you can sleep well. 

Stress management can be organizing your thoughts to prioritizing what is really worth your time. Taking a moment to deal with your emotions is worth its weight in gold. Prayer before bed is one way that works for me and my husband. 

Courtesy of letsliveandlearn.com


Get Help

If none of this aids your sleep you may need a professional. No shame. Go talk to someone and get medical help. Some people actually need melatonin and other sleep medication. Sleep apnea or other disorders can disrupt sleep cycles all the time. Nightmares may require counseling. Maybe they can indicate anxiety disorders, too, but that may be a myth. 

Some supplements that can help you include Melatonin, ginkgo biloba (250 mg half hour to an hour before bed), glycine (3 grams), valerian root (500 mg before bed), magnesium, L-theanine (100-200 mg before bed), lavender (80-160 mg).  Only one at a time! Get a professional's advice, too, and don't just trust I've got the right sources! Doctors can advise you better. 


Sources:

Monday, November 21, 2022

Buster keaton

 Do not try Buster Keaton stunts at home, ladies and gents, or you might die. Buster Keaton was a skilled stunt man that took many risks and those types of stunts can kill you, so much so that insurance companies won't let you do those stunts anymore. He is what you call a skilled expert and insanely lucky. He is also made of rubber.

Courtesy of Pinterest

Today we talk about one of the most hilarious comedians and stunt men I've ever seen. He started in silent movies with physical comedy. I'll go into three parts of his life; his acting, his stunts, and his life outside acting. 

His Acting

Not only was he an actor, but also a director, which is usually where seasoned actors who stick with Hollywood end up going if I've caught onto the pattern. He could also edit and write. He also did stunts that insurance companies will no longer sign off on. He was known for a straight face during comedy scenes, which earned him the nickname "the great stone face". Keaton transitioned from silent films to the talkies (movies with sound). For a while, he dealt with alcoholism, but he came back strong guest-staring in many movies and TV shows. Some have put him above Charlie Chaplin in their ranking of silent film stars. He did 19 short films and 10 silent films over 8 years.

His Stunts

Okay, here's where we really talk about his fame. Keaton's stunts, if done wrong, could have killed him. He's famous for these gutsy stuntwork films that are comedy gold. If he'd done one thing wrong he'd have never seen old age. This is why insurance companies won't allow actors to imitate his stunts at this point. Stunt men end up in hospitals often. We know this. What we don't want to see is dead actors. Keaton was one of a kind. 

Outside Acting

He started as a child vaudeville actor at age 5. At a few months old he nearly suffocated because he was accidentally shut in a trunk while his parents were busy performing, which led to him being left at the boarding house ever since that incident. Legend has it his family escaped from fires and trainwrecks. At nearly 3 years old he caught his finger in a clothing wringer and lost a joint, threw a brick at a tree and hit himself with it on accident, and was sucked out a window by a cyclone only to be gently put down a few streets back. This was when his stage career began and this was also when his parents came to the conclusion he'd be safer onstage. 

Courtesy of Pinterest
Joseph Frank (later Francis) Keaton was born to parents Joseph and Myra Keaton, Medicine show performers, on October 4, 1895. He allegedly used to crawl right on stage from the wings at 9 months old. The easiest way to care for him without interrupting the show was to bring him with them to their shows. The actresses and women in the show loved him. He at one point stood behind his father and mouthed the words of his father's monologue in the exact same costume - unrehearsed! He had talent and everyone could see it, so they included him in shows all the time. He'd rough house with his father, sing, dance, write comedy, play piano and ukelele, juggle, and do magic. As a kid, he didn't really have much public schooling, mostly tutors and his mother teaching him to fill in gaps. He turned out to be too entertaining to teachers and students, funnily enough. Less than one day of school proved that. 

The laws on child labor actually thought all the throwing around comedy onstage was abusive, though not a single bruise could be found on the child, and his parents often did get arrested. They tried to pass him off as a midget a few times to avoid that. Close friends and family have insisted he had a happy childhood and he was not abused at all. With the child labor people watching their every move it is unlikely that they could have gotten away with it. No bruises meant he was clearly not abused. The only thing Keaton said was that his father did drink, therefore he had to fend for himself often as he got older. His only real injury came from a train wreck. Joseph Keaton loved his son and was proud of him.

When Keaton was 21 his father became a violent alcoholic. The act wasn't quite the same and Keaton had to look out for himself a little more. He knew how to land, apparently, so he didn't get as much damage. According to Busterkeaton.org:

The article, curious in light of Joe's increasing on-stage violence, goes on to interview 19-year-old Buster:

“The funny thing about our act,” declared Buster after his final toss Tuesday, “is that dad gets the worst of it, although I’m the one who apparently receives the bruises . . . the secret is in landing limp and breaking the fall with a foot or a hand. It’s a knack. I started so young that landing right is second nature with me. Several times I’d have been killed if I hadn’t been able to land like a cat. Imitators of our act don’t last long, because they can’t stand the treatment.”

— Detroit News, December 4, 1914

Courtesy of Pinterest

He quit in January 1917 and Keaton and his mother stranded Joseph Keaton in California temporarily. He immediately was signed to another act, given his stardom. He did some work with his mentor Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle, standing by him despite scandal, until Arbuckle died. He had a brief time as a cryptographer and entertainer during WWI (in France). 

Another thing about Keaton was his pain tolerance. His shoe got stuck in an elevator and he crushed his foot. Under strict orders to do nothing strenuous he filmed a dance number. Cue the Captain Picard face palm. The man was impervious to pain. 

On Our Hospitality (1923), he almost drowned in a river sequence. On The General (1926), he was knocked unconscious by a cannon. On the Steamboat Bill, Jr. (1927) set, he broke his nose (playing baseball), and the most remarkable of all, he broke his neck shooting a scene for Sherlock Jr. (1924). In the scene, he runs along the top of a train and then grabs a waterspout. Water gushes down on the track and Buster is obscured for a moment. During that moment, he was forced by the pressure of the water down onto the tracks, where he hit his neck. But if you watch the film closely, you see Buster get up and run off—still in the same take. It was years before he discovered what had given him those awful headaches. (courtesy of busterkeaton.org)

He married Natalie Talmadge in 1920, had two sons, and divorced in 1932. He had literally been kicked out of the bedroom after the second son was born. It was not a great marriage, but he loved her.

When he signed over to MGM he admitted that he'd made a mistake and given up his creativity. Chaplin and Lloyd had also advised him against it. 1932-34 were the worse years of his life. His friend Arbuckle died, his wife divorced him claiming he drank, two other friends died, he was sued for taxes and declared bankruptcy, he struggled with drinking, and he illegally married his second wife while drunk (which got plastered in headlines). And he was fired for refusal to work on inferior pictures. He was forced into a sanitarium in 1934, where he allegedly got out thanks to Houdini's secrets and got his life on track again. 

MGM did break him of some of his brilliance in film, though. He did keep doing acting after that, but it wasn't the same because he lost creative freedom. He did do theatre again. That brought him life. His best work was mostly when he had creative freedom to do what he wanted and didn't have to fight with studios that he wasn't running. 

He often laughed and smiled offscreen, though he'd go stonefaced when a camera pointed at him. He married again in 1940 to Eleanor Norris, who was 21 to his 44. They were happily married until he died of lung cancer in 1966 at age 70. His last film appearance was A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum. 


“I think I have had the happiest and luckiest of lives. Maybe this is because I never expected as much as I got . . . And when the knocks came I felt it was no surprise. I had always known life was like that, full of uppercuts for the deserving and the undeserving alike.”
— Buster Keaton


https://www.tcm.com/tcmdb/person/99741%7C25179/Buster-Keaton/

https://www.britannica.com/biography/Buster-Keaton

https://www.busterkeaton.org/