domestic abuse law - the basics for writers

Domestic abuse is a serious issue that can't be ignored. No matter what your gender, it can happen to anyone. When it comes to laws, here's what can be done.

It is defined by the domestic abuse hotline as a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to control and maintain control of the other partner. You don't have to be married to have this issue. You can be dating, married, or living together. Status doesn't matter here. This abuse type is done by using physical harm, fear, and controlling behaviors. These can range from emotional abuse to threats and abuse of power.  In the first source link at the bottom of the page there is more information on this topic and abuse type.

Law and Punishment

Let's get into laws, in Lehmans terms. This type of law includes civil protection orders and punishment for the controlling partner. Most are prosecuted under state law. I am going into Ohio's domestic violence laws here, so it may be different if you aren't in Ohio or your character lives elsewhere.

When someone is accused of domestic violence here's what going to happen to them.
- They are arrested
- reputation damage
- temporary restraining order
- firearm rights restricted
- occupation consequences for missing work (if they work)

If convicted, there is an injunction issued. That means no contact with the victim. Possibilities also include probation, counseling of any sort, and drug help. Below is a basic guideline to what can happen, based on the person/character's previous history.

First time - The first time usually results in first-degree misdemeanor, so six months in jail and $1000 fine. Was the (alleged) victim pregnant and you knew? Add a felony onto that.

Previous domestic violence - Previous convictions make it a fourth-degree felony, so a prison sentence of six to eighteen months and $5000 fine. Pregnant victim? You now get maximum penalty.

  Related-to-domestic-violence convictions on recond - If you get convicted of domestic violence and have two plus prior convictions related to domestic violence, it is a third-degree felony, so maximum prison sentence and $10,000 fine.

After one gets out of prison/jail and pays their dues, what happens to them? Here's the struggle they created for themselves:
- hard to find jobs  - restricted license for work   - no firearms  - less or no child custody (f it applies)
- permanent red mark on record

Proving Domestic Violence

We know what happens to the convicted, but how do the victims prove, or fake, domestic violence? 

In writing your characters know that some have faked this, but whether they get away with it or not in your writing is your choice. That is only a miniscule number of people who fake. Without further adieu, here is how it can be proven, or faked. 

Nonphysical abuse is hard to prove. No bruises or marks on your body, but still being abused? Doesn't look good in court, if you don't know how to document the abuse. 

1. third party expert  -  If an expert on abuse, a therapist or psychologist, can confirm the abuse you have a witness. 

2. paper trail -   Keep a copy of the threatening texts, journal what is going on in real-time. Write factual and straight facts of what is happening somewhere. The more you leave a paper trail behind you, the more you have on someone. Can you record phone calls (check this out based on the state)? Do so!

Physical evidence is easier to prove than nonphysical, for obvious reasons. Bruises in places you can't reach? Obviously not your doing. Here is where something may be faked more easily (though the evidence above can be, too). 

1. 911 call records and medical records - 911 will keep record of distress calls. These prove you needed help, serious help. Also, if someone put you in a hospital due to this abuse, it is documented by the hospital. 

2. Witnesses of violence -   In cases of violent attacks, a few witnesses can always be of help, if they are telling the truth. Witness something? Tell someone!

3. Records -   Did they harm someone else before you and get convicted? That's one point in your favor. History of crime or violence is a sign you are telling the truth, or a convenient way to trap someone (if your character is lying, that is). Especially when they had a restraining order against them, police reports with their name on them, or anything proving trouble with the law. 

4. Pictures of physical harm -  If they harmed you or your property and you have it documented in pictures, you have physical evidence of an attack and have some serious evidence to protect yourself. Can this be faked? Possibly, depending on how far one wanted to go to pin a crime on someone. 

When This Law Applies

All of the above applies in high conflict divorce cases, custody battles, and charges of domestic violence. When children are involved the law is serious about the child's welfare and will, most likely, be looking for stability in a parent, as well as safety. Some abusers try to take custody of the children as a way to bring pain to the other partner and keep them close. 

You'll notice that I didn't focus on women on this post. This post isn't about gender, though domestic violence does connect to women. That's because men can be abused by other men or women, as well, and it is much harder to prove in court.  Women can also abuse women. Women are not always saints and victims. I'm acknowledging that no matter your gender, domestic abuse can happen. Men are not immune to this. 

Pictures:

nomore.com
thehotline.com



Sources:

https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/
https://www.law.georgetown.edu/your-life-career/career-exploration-professional-development/for-jd-students/explore-legal-careers/practice-areas/domestic-violence-law/
https://www.rittgers.com/Criminal-Defense/Criminal-Defense-FAQ/Accused-Of-Domestic-Violence-In-Ohio-What-You-Need-To-Know.shtml
https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/legal/how-to-prove-nonphysical-abuse-in-court
https://www.weinsteinlawoffice.com/blog/perserving-evidence-in-a-domestic-violence-case/

Hiding blades - creating hidden weaponry for your character

So, you're writing an assassin or a spy and you need some cool hidden blade ideas. Today is your lucky day! This post is about real-life hidden blades that actually exist. You can pay money for these and own these in real life. You can even make some yourself. A note of caution to those cosplaying: security will take your hidden blade if it is real! Make a fake one, if cosplaying. 

Shoes with Blades 

You've seen blades hidden in shoes in Kingsman and James Bond. You can make one of these yourself or buy it. Instructions on how to make this are also on Pinterest. You can also find it in high heel 

form.   

No joke, you can pay hundreds of dollars for high heel weaponry. Most of these are stillettos. They may or may not need to be special ordered, but they do exist. These can be used for self-defense in many scenarios.

                                         Hidden in Armor 

This applies to cosplayers and writers (again, fake weapons for conventions or they don't come with you). Lots of video game and movie characters have knives and spikes hidden in their armor, around mostly their arms. The main examples I can find are from the video game Assassin's Creed.  No surprise here, you can make it yourself with a little help from Pinterest. 

Sword Canes and Umbrellas

We know Higgins had one in the first season of Magnum PI. They do exist and you can buy them. The canes must sell extremely well because one of the models was sold out on one website I looked at, specifically the one referenced in my source links. This one had been on sale, but its original price was $40. Depending on how fancy your character, or you, are may up or lower that price. Bet on paying at least 40 to 70 dollars.

The umbrella is not surprising, given its similarity to a cane. It may be less expensive or more expensive. 

Small Objects and Miscellaneous 

Other objects that have held knives include keys, pens, lipstick, belts, shovels, combs, necklaces, carabiners, cufflinks, and bullets. You can buy these things online. You can put a sword or blade in a set of golf clubs, if you wanted to. Writers, you can arm your spies and assassins with quite a lot of blades, almost all of them hidden. 

It is also a possibility that the "cover" for your spy allows them many blades or weapons. Artists, for example, have blades for cutting paper and canvas. Doctors have access to blades, especially surgeons. Blades don't have to be hidden for your spy, especially if their alias uses them for their work. 

Did I miss any good hiding spots for blades? Comment below and tell me. Any suggestions for my next blog would also be appreciated. I am here to arm you with truth for your writing. What do you want to hear about?

Pictures:

Instructibles.com

DANZ COMIX and Collektibles

knifecenter.com

Sources and some pictures:

https://www.trendhunter.com/slideshow/hidden-weapons

https://blog.knife-depot.com/top-10-knives-disguised-as-everyday-objects/

http://www.weapons-universe.com/Swords/Cane_Swords/Walking-Cane-Hidden-Sword-P-2651.shtml

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/507077239271147334/?lp=true

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/518758450820780893/?lp=true

Suffragettes - UK and United States

For all those writers writing history pieces that involve women's suffrage, this is for you. For all those people scrolling facebook, pinterest, and twitter out of boredom, this is also for you. This is especially for those who love women's history.

 These brave women are the reason women can vote and be involved in law. Here's the basic overview of how long they fought for the basic right to have legal voice.

In the UK

It was started in 1897 by Milicent Fawcett. She was for peaceful protest because doing anything irresponsible may prove to the men that women couldn't be trusted. Later another group began, after that one failed.

Emmeline Pankhurst started Women's Social and Political Union in 1903 and was willing to do anything to get what she wanted, violence included. She interrupted many meetings with her suffragette group and they were jailed many times over for it. They also burned churches that didn't agree with them, broke windows, chained themselves to Buckingham Palace, shouted abuse at Parliament from the Thames river, and refused to pay taxes, as well as, firebombing homes, vandalizing golf courses, and attacking politicians.



Suffragettes happily went to prison and went on a hunger strike. They began force-feeding these women. Because of the passing of the Cat and Mouse Act, force-feeding was outlawed and once too weak, they were released. Some were picked up later for trivial reasons and the process started over again, all because this meant they couldn't participate in the movement because of health. The police used this technique often to keep the movement under control.

World War I took over everyone's agenda and the women put their attention into the war support. 1918 was the year that women over the age of 30 were given the right to vote. It was a starting point.

In the United States

The right to vote took decades here. The right to vote was given in 1920. The movement began before the civil war, in 1848. The temperance, religious, moral-reform, and anti-slavery movements were going on, as well. 

It started with the Seneca Falls convention, where abolitionists gathered to discuss women voting and agreed it was needed. During the 1850s it gathered, and lost, steam. The black men got the right to vote in 1870, but not women. Groups began campaigning for women's votes, both universally and state-by-state. These two groups merged in 1890. 

 In 1910 they gained some ground. Some western states gave women the vote. Southern and eastern, not so much. Just like in the UK, some made peaceful campaign plans and others picketed and hunger-striked. Also, World War I put those plans on hold. After that, the vote was won for all women on August 18th, 1920. 

Why This Matters

Women today have enjoyed the right to vote since 1920, or in the UK, around 1918. In the case of other countries, this is different, so please be aware of that when writing a setting that is none of the above. 

We are all blessed enough to vote on our representation. Women have come a long way since 1920 and have the privilege to do so much. Not only do we vote, but we also work and own property. History shows us how blessed we are to live the way we do.  Thank you, Suffragettes. 

Pictures:
bbc.co.uk
phoenix.org.uk
wikipedia
nps.gov

Sources:
https://www.history.com/topics/womens-history/the-fight-for-womens-suffrage
https://www.historylearningsite.co.uk/the-role-of-british-women-in-the-twentieth-century/suffragettes/

Nellie Bly - 10 Days in the Mad-House

Nellie Bly, real name Elizabeth Jane Cochran, was a great investigative reporter that wrote many great stories, but one made it into the movies. One of her greatest stories included traveling the world in 72 days, but she is most known for going undercover at the asylum on Blackwell Island, NY. The book was titled Ten Days in the Madhouse.

Blackwell Island, NY

Blackwell Asylum was the first mental hospital in New York. It was overcrowded, which resulted in a lack of internal administration, disease outbreaks, improper diet and nutrition, and bad living conditions. To reduce costs they even hired convicts as attendants. They had accommodations for 640 in 1868 and had 1035 people in the building. More buildings were built throughout time. Female and immigrant patients were many, though men still ended up here. The newest and most violent were put in one building, and if new patients weren't violent, moved to another building. Nellie Bly checked herself into here in 1887. 10 days later she was released with the help of Pulitzer. Several investigations later, her report ended this asylum. In 1901 all patients were transferred elsewhere and it closed. 

 The saner she acted, the more insane she was thought to be. Her report, according to asylumprojects.org, looked like this:

"What, excepting torture, would produce insanity quicker than this treatment? Here is a class of women sent to be cured. I would like the expert physicians who are condemning me for my action, which has proven their ability, to take a perfectly sane and healthy woman, shut her up and make her sit from 6 a.m. until 8 p.m. on straight-back benches, do not allow her to talk or move during these hours, give her no reading and let her know nothing of the world or its doings, give her bad food and harsh treatment, and see how long it will take to make her insane. Two months would make her a mental and physical wreck."

Currently, it is now a historic building restored into an apartment complex. Would you want to live there? Yeah, not me. It is called Roosevelt Island now. 

What Nellie Bly Experienced

*If you want details, as in a lot of details, I strongly suggest you read 10 Days in the Mad-House for yourself. I am writing a snapshot view of her report that won't be pages long.*

Nellie Bly took on a new name, checked herself into a boarding house, and acted insane. She acted like an insomniac, wandered, and ranted incoherently. She was committed in days. She claimed to be a Cuban immigrant with amnesia. She went from Bellevue Hospital to Blackwell Island. 

1600 patients were in a building built for 1000 people. There were 16 doctors on staff. Asylums could be used as what we now call "circus freak shows" and be entertainment for the public. This was just the beginning of a terrible 10 days. Patients were forced to take cold baths and remain in wet clothes for hours, creating frequent sickness. People were forced to sit still in chairs in silence for 12 hours, forced to pull carts like mules, and given bad living conditions and food. Complaining resulted in beatings and threat of sexual violence. 

Inmates were composed of, often, sane people. They were recent imigrants, got caught up in law systems and couldn't communicate, were poor, or were women (mostly). Sane people were being psychologically harmed. 

Even though her cover was nearly blown by a fellow reporter, she made it for 10 days and got out with some outside help from her editor. Her reports were published within days. A grand jury investigated the asylum one month later, but they had been tipped off and cleaned up their act. Despite this denial of her facts, the jury took Bly's side. They increased funding, abusive staff were fired, translators were hired, and the system was changed to prevent the sane from being committed. Bly's career took off after this story. 

Pictures:
Haiku Deck
azquotes.com
macaulay honors college

Sources:
https://www.womenshistory.org/education-resources/biographies/nellie-bly
http://www.asylumprojects.org/index.php/Blackwell%27s_Island_Asylum
https://www.biography.com/news/inside-nelly-bly-10-days-madhouse

Female Hysteria - a snapshot of women's history

The term "female hysteria" or "wandering womb" was used from 4th Century BC  to the 19th century and declined when psychology became more understood. Today we don't use either term. Thankfully, we have doctors who understand how the female body functions, gynecologists.

Basic Beliefs  On Hysteria

What was considered female hysteria?  It was considered common, chronic, and only applied to women. Here's a list.

Hysteria Symptoms
- anxiety  -shortness of breath  - fainting  -nervousness - sexual desire  -insomnia
 - fluid retention (periods)  -heaviness in the abdomen  - irritability
- loss of food/sexual appetite  -being sexually forward  - being a troublemaker

If you laughed or cringed at that list and pointed out several symptoms had several explanations (including "I don't want to have sex with Mr. X" or pregnancy) you will be glad to know this is no longer a valid diagnosis. Most of these have to do with being female, or human, in general.

It was believed by the Greeks that the womb wandered around the body causing disease and pain for the woman, like a live animal. While some denied this theory, they didn't deny the hysteria. It was also believed by Galen that this was a widow's disease because a female's "seed" turned to venom if "retained in the womb". (In shorter terms, if you didn't get pregnant, you had a period.) Beliefs ranged from the medieval assumption of demonic possession to an 18th to 19th-century mental illness. Some also believed it more commonly affected widows, women with children, women with regular periods, and forward women deprived of sex.

What  Happened To These Women

Sadly and tragically, some of these women ended up in asylums or had a hysterectomy happen to them. Both, in some cases.  

We now come to the cure for this "disease". Here are some nifty guidelines of who did what. 

4th and 5th century:

- Special Fragrances under nose or lady parts  - Sex  - ointment rubbed on lady parts (by a midwife) 

Middle ages to early modern:

- sex  -marriage and pregnancy  - manual stimulation with scents or oils (by a midwife) 

18th Century:

- sanitarium/asylums (considered mental illness, not related to Uterus)

19th Century:

 - Manual stimulation (doctor-given or midwife-given unknown)  - the vibrator (debated)

Treatment within sanitariums/asylums

In the asylums, hysterectomy and other female surgeries became an option. Be aware that some asylums just threw everyone in a dark hole, or through various "treatments" caused the sane to become insane. Some became slaves. Hysteria may have been used as an excuse by some (not all) men to get rid of wives or unconventional, trouble-making women in their lives. *Warning, looking up what went on in old asylums may make it hard to sleep at night.* Do your research on this. If you can't handle dark things, heed my warning.

This has been a basic snapshot the diagnosis of Female Hysteria. It makes me glad we live in a time period where women's medicine and women's status has advanced. Do your research and check my facts, and if you want more on the topic of women's history comment below. 

Pictures:
Talk space
The Scotsman



https://warwick.ac.uk/fac/arts/history/chm/outreach/trade_in_lunacy/research/womenandmadness/
https://www.lib.uwo.ca/archives/virtualexhibits/londonasylum/hysteria.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_hysteria

Writing characters with depression - inside and out

We talk about mental health awareness, but as a writer, how do you write a character with  depression? What does that look like, thought-wise? Let's dive into that.

Depression is defined as a mood disorder causing persistent dark, sad thoughts and loss of interest, according to the Mayo Clinic. That being said, I know several examples of people you would never guess had depression. There is such a thing as "masking" your true thoughts and emotions. It also causes one to isolate and distance themselves from the support they might have. One reason to check in on someone with this disorder is that they may be battling dark thoughts alone. Most successful suicides that were caused by depression happened with no warning or an alarming, sudden peace. 

What Others See

When it comes to character building, be aware some people do talk about their depression and seek help. Some also suffer alone and wear a "mask" until it becomes too terrible to deal with, or both. It's common for them to distance themselves and "disappear" from their social life periodically. What your other characters see depends on how close they are to this individual and whether the individual trusts them. Metaphorically, they play two roles; one for the people they don't trust and one for the people they do trust. Sadly, the same person can be in both categories, depending on their relationship and actions. The trusted characters still see them isolate themselves.

Here are a few guidelines on what your other characters may see:

Trusted friends 

 - honest dialogue  - deep emotion  - vulnerability  - breakdowns  

Not Trusted General Public

- smiles/fake happiness  - "normal" look   - in general, blending in - acting like nothing is wrong

What all this boils down to is that one is only vulnerable in front of trusted people. Acquaintances won't, or rarely, see or hear about the dark sadness attacking a person with depression. 

On the Inside

Depression, for many, comes and goes with no warning and comes back at the worst possible time (much like Murphy's Law). So, suddenly canceling plans to go to a concert done by their favorite musician, then sitting alone with no motivation that evening is a possible scenario and a good example of why depression sucks. 

This is similar to anxiety in some ways, but not all. To be clear, Anxiety is defined by the Mayo Clinic as persistent worry and fear. Depression sometimes happens to people who have anxiety issues already, but depression isn't always anxiety. 

Self-harm and negative thoughts are common for both, as well as suicide and attempts at suicide. Thinking x, y, or z is your fault or being ashamed because of the mental illness "stigma" is also present in both situations. A lot crosses over, so do your research on depression types while writing your character actions and dialogue. 

Depression is like being weighed down and may not be expressed, especially to those who may not understand. Crying for no reason, mental torment causing exhaustion, not wanting to burden others.....all are signs of depression that aren't just mental. It causes self-destruction in someone. 

What Helps

One of the main reasons it remains unspoken is shame due to mental illness stigma, the idea that you are worth less than others because you struggle mentally. Other reasons include not wanting to burden others, being misunderstood, and being accused of wanting attention. 

Just listening and being there helps. Checking in on someone and sending positive messages is also appreciated. Depending on the severity of the situation, psychiatrists, psychologists, and medication may be necessary. A combination of these things can work, or make things worse. You have the power to make your characters suffer or get healthier, or both. You can make them go back and forth and it would be realistic. 

picture:

Robert Sherill

https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/category/blog/depression

toxic masculinity - a break-down of toxic manhood

Toxic masculinity is a term we hear often, especially when connected to mental illness and men. It is created by society and can be damaging to someone's mental health, but what is it?

Today I'm going to break down the idea of toxic masculinity. I've mentioned this idea briefly in previous blogs (PTSD and gender in film). It refers to a particularly harmful concept of what real men should be, including aggressive dominance and not showing emotions (thus, not releasing them).

"The Man Box"

The man box can be best explained as a constricting list of standards for manhood. I'm going to list out some of what these can be before I continue.

1. no vulnerability  2. strong at all times  3. only anger-related emotions can be shown 

 4. no signs of weakness  5. aggressive and powerful are good  

Most of these can be summed up as not being "feminine", emotional, weak, or vulnerable. What happens when someone doesn't conform to this is clear; bullying, being on the social fringes, unnecessary cruelty.

When All This Started

This toxic concept began when the idea of manhood started. Imagine that it's the 17th century and it's a patriarchal society (men on top, if you're confused). You are a man and have been taught from boyhood to be the head of the household, where you control your family's choices, including your wife's choices. Feel powerful yet? At this point, women are dependent on men and are confined to the home. That was only the start. Do you understand how this toxicity started yet?

Abuse of power happens everywhere. Patriarchy is not evil, but abuse of it is. It led to some men abusing their families and wives (not all of them). I don't think I have to explain how bad that is for a 17th-century and 18th-century wife with nowhere to go. So, that's where we pick up the aggression that some people call "confidence".

But where do we pick up the "not feminine" part? Let's look at the views of women way back when. Women, for the most part, had motherhood roles, which was heavily emotional, while men went to work, which was more logical. In some cultures this was not the case, like in Nubia when women became queens and had the power of kings, but that is an exception and not the rule. 

What did men in past years think about women, generally? It depends on who you were and when you were alive. Some churches thought some women were temptation and it was Eve's fault for the fall (even though Adam stood there and let her eat the apple). The term female hysteria is a word that male doctors came up with. Women were seen as overly emotional, especially because of hormones and their bodies (which is also why they were seen as temptation). Thus, we get "not feminine" and "not emotional". 

I don't want anyone to hear "I hate men" when I write this, because that isn't my point and I don't. My point is that these toxic traits were planted early on by people who abused the influence and power that they had. The male gender is not the sole reason this happened and it shouldn't be assumed that they are. Now that I've made that point, I'm moving onto the result of this toxicity. 

Why It's Toxic

Not releasing emotion is a one-way ticket to PTSD and mental issues, especially in military settings. When emotions don't get processed through you don't face issues and reach out for help. The impact of not facing issues and hiding them under a mask is huge, making toxic masculinity part of the reason some men do suicide and suffer in silence. 

Just to make this more toxic, men police other men socially when it comes to gender (same is true of women), making anyone standing outside the "man box" a living target for bullying. This includes sensitive men, stay at home dads, homosexuals, and anyone who doesn't fit the conventional male definition. Nice guys or artists sometimes end up at the bottom of the totem pole of male status, while the wolves are at the top. 

I hope you appreciated the break-down of what toxic masculinity is and please let me know what you want to hear about. I aim to arm you with truth. 

pictures:
noorisms
fine arts america
Knowledge@Wharton - University of Pennsylvania
shutterstock

https://owlcation.com/humanities/Women-Through-History
https://oxfordre.com/americanhistory/view/10.1093/acrefore/9780199329175.001.0001/acrefore-9780199329175-e-12
http://mikegwaltney.net/ush2west/?page_id=96
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/toxic-masculinity-definition-what-is-boys-men-gillette-ad-behaviour-attitude-girls-women-a8729336.html