Today I'm going to break down the idea of toxic masculinity. I've mentioned this idea briefly in previous blogs (PTSD and gender in film). It refers to a particularly harmful concept of what real men should be, including aggressive dominance and not showing emotions (thus, not releasing them).
"The Man Box"
The man box can be best explained as a constricting list of standards for manhood. I'm going to list out some of what these can be before I continue.
1. no vulnerability 2. strong at all times 3. only anger-related emotions can be shown
4. no signs of weakness 5. aggressive and powerful are good
Most of these can be summed up as not being "feminine", emotional, weak, or vulnerable. What happens when someone doesn't conform to this is clear; bullying, being on the social fringes, unnecessary cruelty.
When All This Started
This toxic concept began when the idea of manhood started. Imagine that it's the 17th century and it's a patriarchal society (men on top, if you're confused). You are a man and have been taught from boyhood to be the head of the household, where you control your family's choices, including your wife's choices. Feel powerful yet? At this point, women are dependent on men and are confined to the home. That was only the start. Do you understand how this toxicity started yet?
Abuse of power happens everywhere. Patriarchy is not evil, but abuse of it is. It led to some men abusing their families and wives (not all of them). I don't think I have to explain how bad that is for a 17th-century and 18th-century wife with nowhere to go. So, that's where we pick up the aggression that some people call "confidence".
But where do we pick up the "not feminine" part? Let's look at the views of women way back when. Women, for the most part, had motherhood roles, which was heavily emotional, while men went to work, which was more logical. In some cultures this was not the case, like in Nubia when women became queens and had the power of kings, but that is an exception and not the rule.
What did men in past years think about women, generally? It depends on who you were and when you were alive. Some churches thought some women were temptation and it was Eve's fault for the fall (even though Adam stood there and let her eat the apple). The term female hysteria is a word that male doctors came up with. Women were seen as overly emotional, especially because of hormones and their bodies (which is also why they were seen as temptation). Thus, we get "not feminine" and "not emotional".
I don't want anyone to hear "I hate men" when I write this, because that isn't my point and I don't. My point is that these toxic traits were planted early on by people who abused the influence and power that they had. The male gender is not the sole reason this happened and it shouldn't be assumed that they are. Now that I've made that point, I'm moving onto the result of this toxicity.
Why It's Toxic
Not releasing emotion is a one-way ticket to PTSD and mental issues, especially in military settings. When emotions don't get processed through you don't face issues and reach out for help. The impact of not facing issues and hiding them under a mask is huge, making toxic masculinity part of the reason some men do suicide and suffer in silence.
Just to make this more toxic, men police other men socially when it comes to gender (same is true of women), making anyone standing outside the "man box" a living target for bullying. This includes sensitive men, stay at home dads, homosexuals, and anyone who doesn't fit the conventional male definition. Nice guys or artists sometimes end up at the bottom of the totem pole of male status, while the wolves are at the top.
I hope you appreciated the break-down of what toxic masculinity is and please let me know what you want to hear about. I aim to arm you with truth.
pictures:
noorisms
fine arts america
Knowledge@Wharton - University of Pennsylvania
shutterstock
https://owlcation.com/humanities/Women-Through-History
https://oxfordre.com/americanhistory/view/10.1093/acrefore/9780199329175.001.0001/acrefore-9780199329175-e-12
http://mikegwaltney.net/ush2west/?page_id=96
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/toxic-masculinity-definition-what-is-boys-men-gillette-ad-behaviour-attitude-girls-women-a8729336.html
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