Depression is defined as a mood disorder causing persistent dark, sad thoughts and loss of interest, according to the Mayo Clinic. That being said, I know several examples of people you would never guess had depression. There is such a thing as "masking" your true thoughts and emotions. It also causes one to isolate and distance themselves from the support they might have. One reason to check in on someone with this disorder is that they may be battling dark thoughts alone. Most successful suicides that were caused by depression happened with no warning or an alarming, sudden peace.
What Others See
When it comes to character building, be aware some people do talk about their depression and seek help. Some also suffer alone and wear a "mask" until it becomes too terrible to deal with, or both. It's common for them to distance themselves and "disappear" from their social life periodically. What your other characters see depends on how close they are to this individual and whether the individual trusts them. Metaphorically, they play two roles; one for the people they don't trust and one for the people they do trust. Sadly, the same person can be in both categories, depending on their relationship and actions. The trusted characters still see them isolate themselves.
Here are a few guidelines on what your other characters may see:
Trusted friends
- honest dialogue - deep emotion - vulnerability - breakdowns
Not Trusted General Public
- smiles/fake happiness - "normal" look - in general, blending in - acting like nothing is wrong
What all this boils down to is that one is only vulnerable in front of trusted people. Acquaintances won't, or rarely, see or hear about the dark sadness attacking a person with depression.
On the Inside
Depression, for many, comes and goes with no warning and comes back at the worst possible time (much like Murphy's Law). So, suddenly canceling plans to go to a concert done by their favorite musician, then sitting alone with no motivation that evening is a possible scenario and a good example of why depression sucks.
This is similar to anxiety in some ways, but not all. To be clear, Anxiety is defined by the Mayo Clinic as persistent worry and fear. Depression sometimes happens to people who have anxiety issues already, but depression isn't always anxiety.
Self-harm and negative thoughts are common for both, as well as suicide and attempts at suicide. Thinking x, y, or z is your fault or being ashamed because of the mental illness "stigma" is also present in both situations. A lot crosses over, so do your research on depression types while writing your character actions and dialogue.
Depression is like being weighed down and may not be expressed, especially to those who may not understand. Crying for no reason, mental torment causing exhaustion, not wanting to burden others.....all are signs of depression that aren't just mental. It causes self-destruction in someone.
What Helps
One of the main reasons it remains unspoken is shame due to mental illness stigma, the idea that you are worth less than others because you struggle mentally. Other reasons include not wanting to burden others, being misunderstood, and being accused of wanting attention.
Just listening and being there helps. Checking in on someone and sending positive messages is also appreciated. Depending on the severity of the situation, psychiatrists, psychologists, and medication may be necessary. A combination of these things can work, or make things worse. You have the power to make your characters suffer or get healthier, or both. You can make them go back and forth and it would be realistic.
picture:
Robert Sherill
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