Brave and magic

Here we are discussing Brave, only today we are tackling the magic and folklore of the Brave movie. What are wisps? Do they really lead you to your fate or doom? Keep reading to find out.

Photo courtesy of Surf and Sunshine

 Those cute little blue flames are real folklore. Wisps are as bad as pixies. They are spirits of the dead or spirits of fairies that lead travelers off the beaten path and lead you to your doom (which does in fact change your fate) or treasure. According to folklore, you should be wary of them if you are out after sunset on an unfamiliar path.  Ignus Fatuus, or foolish fire, often leads lost travelers into the marshes. Why? Because it is a natural phenomenon that is due to decaying plants in marshy areas. It is a case of biology explained by the folk tales. Fun, right? So, please, don't follow those blue flames into the marshes and get stuck. They are not actually dead spirits or fairies. You will die in the bogs or drown there. People used to follow these "wisps" and get too far into the bog to be saved, which is your doom and does change your fate - just not for the better. Folklore says chasing these things are like cats catching laser pointers - you can't get it. Ultimately, the one doing the chasing ends up lost and alone. 

The video below is the closest I can get to showing you the real nature spectacle. It gets confused for spirit orbs quite often. They resemble lanterns. Animated blue things look a little bit less weird, but the fact is that it is hard to find anything on youtube, other than stuff like this that doesn't look all that clear, that represents wisps in real life.

The legend does ring true to Merida's story because she does end up led to a witch, which makes things far worse, because of those cute blue flames. They probably intended her doom, really, because her decision tore apart her kingdom, which she had to face. While Merida and her mother did end up better off as mother and daughter and the kingdom was restored, it could have been a smoother ride without dealing with a witch's spell, a spell that had been done before and was proven to shatter kingdoms. Mordu was a huge neon warning sign and may have also been shown the way by wisps. Mordu ended up alone. Merida changed her ways and reunified her kingdom, but Mordu never mended his ways in time. He was forever trapped in the form of a bear that had the strength of ten men. Oops, times ten!

Other things that make Brave authentic

Photo courtesy of Visit Scotland

You see those standing stones in a circle that the horse won't go near? Those are real. In the outer Hebrides is a circle of stones - the Calanais standing stones. They were constructed 5000 years ago. We don't know why. They may have something astrological about them or they may be a religious ceremonial place, but they are there regardless. Until we invent a time machine and watch what the people do with the stones, we know nothing. 

The Highland games are real, even the throwing of big poles. If you win the games you win honor and a

Photo courtesy of Visit Scotland

name for yourself. Merida was a warrior of a woman, even disarming her own father to save her mother and hitting targets on horseback. I'll say it again - she would have done well to be born a boy. She doesn't fit the domestic role she was born and prepared for. She outshot all the suiters and split an arrow! (I know the suiters weren't good at archery, yes, but still, she split an arrow!) Nowadays all genders can compete in the games. Even some women toss cabers.

Photo courtesy of Balkan Celts

Artio, a bear goddess, may have inspired Elinor's transformation. The Helvetii tribe worshipped her. She was called upon during hunting rituals and there were white bear-shaped candles of her carved. She was a feminine goddess brought from Switzerland to the UK to Scotland.

                What isn't quite right

As expected we have some costumes that are portrayed inaccurately. Also, it only shows the highland. Strangely, bears may have been extinct in Scotland then. According to a historian the feel of the movie and settings were actually quite good, but only a few things were off. This film crew did their homework and research well. The chessboard was accurate to the time period if you look at it in a museum and then watch the movie. Most movies are not entirely accurate in historical senses unless they are documentaries or reenactments of some form. They got close, very close, but not quite correct. 

The link here can show you more details about the historical accuracy of the film Brave:

https://apprenticeofthechosenone.wordpress.com/2015/08/23/disney-pixars-brave-historically-accurate/

Sources:

 https://www.surfandsunshine.com/will-o-the-wisp-brave/

https://www.babysavers.com/what-are-the-wisps-in-disneypixars-brave-bravecarslandevent/

https://thefairytaletraveler.com/2016/06/17/Disney-brave-Scotland-legends/#:~:text=Folklore%20%E2%80%93%20Scottish%20Legends%20Featured%20in%20Brave&text=To%20avoid%20an%20arranged%20marriage,a%20bear%20goddess%20called%20Artio.&text=Artio%20could%20have%20partly%20inspired%20Queen%20Elinor's%20transformation.

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2012/aug/29/scottish-historian-view-brave

Rare Finds: movies accurate to the book

 I am here to show you the unicorn of movies - the ones that are accurate to the books! Yes, I know, I'm showing you long lost treasure. If anyone else is disappointed by films that don't reflect their source material read further and allow me to show you some hope.

Photo courtesy of In Their Own League

Most movies take some creative liberties and have budgets to deal with. It is also possible that insurance says no to some stunts. Taking a book from a novel to a screenplay is actually rather hard to do. You can't always do every scene from the book. After taking a scriptwriting class I found that out for myself when I took my own short story and had to pull it apart beyond belief to make it fit the play form. I give Hollywood some slack after that. I gave Hollywood even more slack after I took a film class at Malone University and couldn't use the places I wanted to make my documentary on my fiance, so yeah, we don't always get the locations we want. It is not easy to make a film or write a script. On top of those struggles, you can't always have the actors you want and some actors won't do certain things.

That being said, some people hit the nail on the head and did an awesome job of adapting novels into films. It took work, actors who read the book, and so many extra hours to make it so good and satisfying for us. We love it. Let's look at who put in the extra hours. 

Hercule Poirot  starring David Suchet

Photo courtesy of WNYC

I love Agatha Christie's novels and the Hercule Poirot series was spot on. Read the books, watch the Suchet series, and be prepared to listen for exact dialogue from the books. I am not joking. David Suchet learned to walk like Poirot by pinching a penny between his butt cheeks while walking. He read the books before filming. He became the Poirot from the books. I love it so much and my fiance got them all for me. No other Poirot I have ever watched has gotten it so exact. Check out this unicorn from your public library and read the book before you watch the corresponding                                                                                episode. Prepare to be amazed!

Little Women (2019)

I read the book after watching the movie. It stood up to the test, minus a few tiny, microscopic details

photo courtesy of MoMA

that only avid readers would notice (like the fact that Jo's husband was actually supposed to be 40 years old). It changed only a few tiny details that our time period may not entirely understand, but it kept the most important details and parts of the book other adaptations missed in the script. The book is long and a bit old English at parts, so filmmakers did cut some parts and extremely minor characters out, but they got the essence of everything important in the film and have verbatim dialogue written into the script. It is worth comparing to the book. 

The Maltese Falcon (1941)

photo courtesy of Offscreen

This movie, this was so perfect and so accurate that the only thing they omitted was a homosexual connection between two characters, and that wasn't truly important to the plotline (didn't make a difference in the storyline). They got it nearly completely correct. I was floored at how accurate this was. I read the book after the movie, even, and saw lines from the movie verbatim. Read, watch, compare, and let your jaw drop to the floor. It was like they wrote the script with the novel sitting beside the typewriter. Test this one for yourself.

The Big Sleep (1946)

This is the same actor as Maltese Falcom, yes, and his last wife as his costar. This one was close. I read

photo courtesy of Decider

this book first and I will say it is not exact, but they have the essence of it. It is close enough and there are two versions (the first being the most accurate) because apparently there wasn't enough Bacall in it. I have a DVD with both versions (one side original, one side the added scenes). I was particularly happy with this adaptation of a noir classic.

LOTR (Lord of the Rings)

photo courtesy of Taste of Cinema

This one was a large scale project and could in no way be completely accurate, for reasons of how fantastic the story itself is and how deep the meaning of it goes.  That aside, it is pretty darn close because LOTR fans are kind of obsessive over accuracy. Yes, a few characters were left out, but there is a limit on budget. Scriptwriting is not easy when you have a deep, complex novel that needs to become one movie. One movie can't last ten hours (though I know LOTR fans would actually watch it), but this fandom is unique because they will marathon the extended editions for a whole day and not lose attention span. This fandom will notice tiny, microscopic details, so the filmmakers have to pay attention and notice them, too. 

Conclusion

I know that filmmakers do deal with producers, actors, and everyone else while making these films. Like I said at the beginning, it isn't easy, but test these films out after reading the book. The film crews did the authors of these books a wonderful favor. 

Sources:

https://www.shortlist.com/lists/40-best-film-adaptations

https://lotr.fandom.com/wiki/Tolkien_vs._Jackson:_Differences_Between_Story_and_Screenplay

A Character Study: Brave

The characters in the movie Brave are well written and change throughout the movie. While it is easy to say Merida was all in the wrong or Queen Elinor was all in the wrong that is not what the actual movie was about, to begin with. Here is a character study that will give you a deeper understanding of Merida and Queen Elinor.

Our starting point is explaining the plot. If you've watched this movie you know the plot, but I'm banking on the fact some of you haven't. Put simply and in a few words, Merida and Queen Elinor have a disagreement over Merida getting married to the winner of the archery contest (which Merida secretly entered herself and won her own hand). There are some hurtful words on both ends, Merida runs into a witch, and it all leads to Queen Elinor turning into a bear unless they "mend the bond torn by pride", which takes both mother and daughter to do. There is more detail, but I'm not here to analyze the whole plot, just two characters.

Merida

From the beginning, we see that she feels smothered by her expectations, her role as a princess, and 

how her mother has planned out her entire life. This has, no doubt, caused more tension in the mother-daughter relationship over time than the two ever spoke about. She favors her father because her father allows her freedom. Her mother looks at her personal accomplishments that she is proud of as if she was not doing something worthwhile (because none of it was ladylike), so she doesn't feel appreciated by her mother. 

Another problem is that Merida doesn't listen to her mother because her mother doesn't listen to what she wants, but instead forces her into a social box she doesn't fit in. Merida doesn't feel loved by the instruction that Elinor is giving out of love, but instead feels smothered by it. From the first few scenes, we already see a wall between the two women. She doesn't want the role her mother has. The blowup that rips the tapestry and burns the bow was inevitable. Because Merida isn't tied to tradition, she doesn't feel her breaking of tradition is that important. Frankly, she would have actually done better in that society if she'd been born a boy, given her temperament and will for freedom (because we know men didn't have to be lady-like).

Merida, not realizing her mother would become a bear after the spell took effect, is convinced it wasn't her fault. On her end, "pride" is defined as not trying to understand her mother and thinking only of herself with no regard to the kingdom or her mother's intentions. With the threat of permanent bear-hood comes the fact she could lose her mother and that she really did love her mother.

As for the scene where Merida is forced to step into the Queen's role of stopping a war in the throne room, she learns quite quickly what her mother was trying to teach her. The skills that she learned suddenly became important. And she apologizes to the entire kingdom. She was prepared to say yes to the betrothal at this part until Elinor stops her. Merida has finally been given some freedom and her joy is evident.

In the end, Merida is fully aware that her mother's near-death and bear transformation was her fault,  especially when her father misunderstands and thinks the bear (Elinor) killed Elinor. She takes back her rash words when she almost loses her mother to bear-hood forever.

Queen Elinor

This woman came from nothing and now she is trying to give her daughter everything. Her instruction comes from love, but she has pulled the reigns too tight, so her daughter has decided that she is not proud of her and she is a nuisance. Elinor has spent years preparing her daughter for queenship. She sees this as a great gift and doesn't feel appreciated by her daughter. At this point, she has taken some of the pants in the marriage relationship (given she does most of the public speaking), though her husband is still known as manly and masculine. 

From Elinor's perspective, we see that Merida's breaking of tradition highly insults her and makes her feel that Merida targeted her when really, Merida was trying to take control of her own life and avoid the arranged marriage. Elinor thinks highly of tradition. She has devoted herself to her children.

After becoming a bear she is, rightly, angry. On her end, "pride" is defined as not trying to understand her daughter and trying to make Merida what she wanted her to be. Queen Elinor, partially a bear, almost hurts her own child (and later her husband), which scares her beyond anything. Elinor changes her mind about the betrothal. Why? Because she now understands that Merida was not ready. The happiness on her daughter's face has not been seen for a whole movie, with exception of the flashbacks and her alone-time with her bow. Upon seeing this she is changed even further.

Elinor is nearly killed by her own husband, who thinks she is just a bear. She defends her whole family from Mordu, which actually releases the king trapped inside Mordu from the bear body. She even creates a new tapestry with her daughter later.

For Parents Who Claim Merida Is Not A Role Model

I'm going to tell you that she is not a static character. Don't portray her as a defiant teen purposely thrashing her mother. This is a storyline of a mother-daughter relationship that changes over time. Watch the entire movie. Try to understand the characters. Please don't make a character that is three-dimensional into a character that has no depth. Yes, she made mistakes, but she changed. She humbled herself and so did her mother. It is a complex storyline. While it isn't Game of Thrones, I'd say every character was full of depth. Take a look at these fictional people and try to understand their motives, not just judge their actions. Step outside yourself, even while watching Disney. If you still say she was a troublemaker with no redeeming qualities you are likely not empathizing. Our world needs empathy. Teach your children empathy. I am no parent, but I know enough parents to know that it isn't easy raising small humans to adulthood. Please, respectfully, hear me out. 

Also, Brave has no real villain. It has antagonists (which go against the protagonist, Merida), but not every act can be traced to just one character. Merida bought a spell, but Elinor also pulled the reigns too tight before that. We are looking at chain reactions and dominoes falling. Even the bear Mordu was explained and released from his bear prison at the end. You can't say there is a villain here, because no one was a saint. Which is realistic to the world around us. Disney has become more reality-oriented in the world of princesses and I feel refreshed by this. If you really want to criticize a Disney princess movie, go look at the oldest ones and tell me what you think of Sleeping Beauty and Snow White. Old Disney was actually kind of dark.

Sources:

Fanpop

Holly Jolly Holidays

The Washington Post

Disney heroes that were originally villains

 Pull out your book of Hans Christian Anderson tales and Brothers Grimm and let's dive in. Let's see what Disney made more pleasant for the sake of children. 

Disney, that great monopoly we know and love, has toned down so much that when we read the original tales themselves we find ourselves horrified with the violence and darkness of it. Children of the time of Grimm and Andersen were told tales that we wouldn't read to our own children, let alone ourselves. Usually, each tale had a moral to it. Frankly, after volume I was out of Brothers Grimm, even the Grimm brothers toned down tales. Some of these dark stories were told verbally and then edited by the brothers Grimm, who collected these tales to put in a written volume. Disney got a lot of material from here. Without any further ado, we go on. They are not all Grimm, but they are close enough.

Elsa

Yes, you Frozen fans, Elsa is not a hero in the Hans Christian Andersen story of  The Snow Queen. She

was a villain. Your favorite ice-themed movie may have been based upon this story released in the 1800s, but it is nothing like it. 

The main storyline of The Snow Queen goes like this. An evil troll (the devil) made a mirror that distorts everything it reflects, magnifying their flaws and ignoring their beauty. This falls to earth and shatters, hitting humans below in fragments, when the trolls try to take it to Heaven to make fools of God and the angels. Two kids, Gerda and Kai, become friends, hear of a "snow queen" who is present where frost is, and then Kai sees her. He draws back in fear, then later gets splinters of the troll mirror in his heart and eyes. He literally follows the snow queen and hates everyone else after this. The people think Kai died in the river, but Gerda looks for him and finds a sorceress, who wants Gerda to stay forever, so she makes roses (which remind Gerda of Kai) disappear. One rose reminds her of Kai and talks to her, saying Kai is alive. A reindeer named Bae eventually leads her to Lapland, after more talking animals and a royal family help her. The Lord's prayer allows her to get past the snowflakes in the palace. Gerda's tears save Kai (in a complicated way) and the whole story ends with Matthew 18:3 being recited. The moral? You must become like an innocent child (like Gerda). 

To be clear, Frozen did get some of it right, but it was not the story Andersen wrote - it was a new storyline that Disney developed from an old storyline. And they are still making money off of it like crazy. It is not a bad storyline, given what they left out.

Peter Pan

This is not a Grimm or Andersen story, but I wanted to include it. It was written by JM Barrie, who lost his 13-year-old brother and couldn't cope with the loss. So he wrote Peter Pan. He had an unhealthy obsession with young boys due to his brother's death. It is not one cohesive book, but several stories, all of a boy who never grows up and has endless adventures with pirates, mermaids, fairies, and Native Americans. 

Peter Pan ran away from his parents, returned to find a new baby, and came to the conclusion he was no longer wanted there. He never returned. He has no ability to love and no empathy. The storyline is pretty close to the cartoon movie, except that the lost boys end up in the Darling household. Tinkerbell is no angel, either, and out of jealousy tries to kill Wendy (but to be fair she can only have one emotion at a time). She is redeemed by her loyalty to Peter, who unfortunately doesn't show much loyalty for her. He comes to Wendy years later, finds she grew up, and then takes her daughter with him on his adventures, then when Jane grows up he takes her daughter....and so on. Did I mention he killed the lost boys when they couldn't fit in the treehouse? No? Well, you might want to consider that. 

We could be cheering for the wrong hero when we watch Peter Pan. He may or may not be a sociopath (I'd need an expert's opinion on that), but we know he didn't care what his followers wanted, only what he wanted. In the TV show Once Upon A Time, he is portrayed as evil. Consider that for a second. Is hook trying to save the lost boys from Peter? If we learned the story backward, that means we look at the story from the villain's point of view, and we believed it. He can't tell the difference between real and fantasy, so he didn't always feed the boys, and he killed them when they were growing up - because growing up is against the rules. If you take Neverland, don't think of it as a fantasy, and think of the people Peter is around as real you get a nightmare. Basically, empathy is an adult trait and Peter never developed it. So, kidnapping kids from their homes and forcing them to live in Neverland is actually the stuff of serial killers. "Pretend meals" are not real and he is starving the lost boys and making them fight pirates because Peter doesn't understand what he is doing - they are playthings to him. Do you understand now? I thought so.

Captain Phoebus from The Hunchback Of Notre Dame

If you read the real book by Victor Hugo, you find that Claud Frollo had problems, but Phoebus nearly

raped Esmerelda, too. And Esmerelda died at the end. Phoebus, while engaged to another woman and drunk, convinced a 16-year-old girl (Esmerelda) to undress for him, partially because she didn't understand what was happening. When he gets stabbed by Claude Frollo out of jealousy, which is a long story and you should read the book to hear it, he doesn't bother to tell anyone she was innocent of the crime but instead leaves her to deal with being half-naked in a hay wagon to be hung (and our hunchback saves her from this). Phoebus even stands there with his fiance and she sees him alive. She had thought him dead. 

Compared to the Disney cartoon of this classic, we see a vastly different picture of this officer, who is clearly less than a hero. Claude Frollo did lust after Esmerelda, yes, and he did try to rape her, but he took in Quasimodo out of his heart and cared for him. Read the book, or at least a summary online. Frollo was not as monstrous as you would actually think. Lustful yes, but not cold toward Quasimodo, at least not until Quasimodo protected Esmerelda. Frollo is still a villain, but there was more than one villain from Esmerelda's point of view.

Conclusion

When I researched this I did not consider antiheroes, but instead heroes that have been loved and idolized as heroic. I did it this way because antiheroes have their flaws laid out for us (example: Deadpool), but heroes that we are more inclined to ignore the faults of don't have that. I almost put Tinkerbell on here, but one, I like Tinkerbell, and two, Peter Pan caused some of her issues. What I will say on her behalf is that she can only have one emotion at a time and the Faerie lore is not something that would put you to sleep at night, despite the happy pictures of Pixie Hollow you see in her movies and games. 

Faerie lore says this about the pixie creatures:

They are unique to Britain, specifically in Devon, Somerset, and Cornwall in Southern England. Fairies and pixies are not the same and fought a battle in that area, where the pixies won. It is debated whether they have wings or not and are supposed to be uncommonly beautiful, or distorted (depends where you look). They have green slanted eyes and pointed ears. They are generally unclothed, most of the time. Their size is debated and some say they can change size at will. They like to sing and dance, and thus can be heard in some places (some said). They love humans and can take them for mates. They are supposed to be helpful, but can be malicious tricksters. They steal horses, legend says, and return them. They have stolen children and led people astray (and this can be prevented by turning your coat inside out, for some reason). If you follow a pixie you often vanish without a trace. Contact with metal harms them. Farmers used to leave buckets of water for pixies, a pitcher of milk out, and clean their chimneys for them. They are immortal. 

Pictures:

Villains wiki- fandom
D23
Carbon Costume
Tumgir
Digital Literary Analysis - CUNY

Sources:

Wikipedia (for Peter Pan and Snow Queen)
https://www.litcharts.com/lit/peter-pan/summary
https://www.vox.com/culture/2017/7/27/16021572/peter-pan-became-evil-jm-barrie-llewelyn-davies
http://celticanamcara.blogspot.com/2009/03/pixies.html

For Extroverts With Introvert Roommates

So you have an introverted roommate and just don't understand them. You're in luck because today I am going to explain how to comfortably live with your introverted roommate while making them comfortable as well. 

As an introvert, I have felt stress from living with an extrovert (though I know they didn't actually mean to cause me stress), so if your roommate seems distant they may just need more space. They may not even be paying attention to the outside world at all - we turn inward for stimulation, not outward -  so don't assume we hate you. Unless they actually say they dislike you, assume nothing.

This is for the extroverts getting confused as to why we do what we do. Think of us as somewhat cat-like, if that helps. We only want attention for a short time or a certain amount of time before we get overwhelmed or stressed. Here are some guidelines to keep in mind when you are an extrovert living with an introvert, from the mouth of an introvert herself.

Personal Space

We need a hiding place, much like cats, to hide in when we feel overwhelmed by life, school, or anything that causes our brains to overload. Extroverts get energy from others (as do we, but not in the same sense) and feel the need to converse often and have friends over all the time. Given this fact, you are probably confused, extroverted friend, as to why we do disappear. All the same, allow us our sacred spaces. We recharge in those spaces and the result is energy to interact with you. It is in your best interest in your roommate relationship to allow us to recharge.

Sacred spaces are where we can avoid human interaction to recharge, pull out a book, journal...etc. This can be our cars, bedrooms, or any other spaces we deem sacred. You step in unwelcome and we may be a little less friendly, so fair warning, try to avoid doing so without an invitation. Ask what their sacred spaces are if you don't know. Usually, a perceptive human might be able to sense it, but not always. We hide our annoyance well sometimes (because we sometimes assume you won't understand and there is no polite way to say "I love/like you but leave me alone").

Having Friends Over

A good rule of thumb is to have your own space to entertain that doesn't mess with our personal sacred spaces. Make sure we know you have friends coming over. Why is this important? Well, we come home to decompress from our classes or work, and seeing people we don't expect causes us to feel a need to give our energy to socialize that we don't have. We feel obligated to socialize and we are already drained by the day. If we know someone is coming over we can at least prepare ourselves for human interaction.

We do want you to be happy. Don't read this as we don't want to meet your friends; we probably do (give or take some people here and there). Introduce us, please. If you notice we are overwhelmed by someone who is always loud, interrupting, or in our personal space you might want to give us an escape route. We could potentially have one planned, already, but give us an excuse to leave. These are energy vampires to us and suck our social energy away rapidly. 

Here it is necessary to show you what I mean by an energy vampire. People cost us social energy and give us social energy based on who they are and how they act. Most people give and cost energy in the same interaction. Some people give pure energy, and we love these people with a passion that draws us to them. Energy vampires, as you can imagine, make us want to run in the other direction. Energy vampires talk over us, are far too loud, get in our personal space, don't read the body language that says "go away" or "I'm busy", interrupt us constantly, and fill every silent moment introverts enjoy with meaningless (here "Meaningless" is defined as surface-level conversation) noise. In other words, people who don't allow us to decompress at all make our social batteries die within five minutes (a scarily accurate estimate). You see, living in an extrovert-centered society means we don't have a polite phrase to ask for personal introvert space. Introverts are told to get louder, but extroverts are not told to be quieter (unless in a library). Keep this in mind. Save us from energy vampires, when you can. 

Daily Interaction

We do want your company. We do want to get to know you. We do want to talk to you. What we dislike is surface-level conversation, or small talk, to be the entire conversation. Our society has forced us to learn small talk, but we want deeper conversation in our daily lives. Bring up your favorite things and ask us what ours are, tell us about your hobbies and ask us about ours....etc. Even sitting in the same room with us and watching a TV Show is still bonding to us. Interaction like this can develop more conversation because you aren't forcing your way into our world; we are instead compelled to invite you into ours (and for introverts, this is our way of making friends). We don't need constant outer stimulation. Our minds are loud enough. Let us show you our world voluntarily as you show us yours.

I know that we also have a talent others don't - the ability to disappear into our own heads and ignore our outer world (which makes some introverts great writers). With this talent comes misunderstanding and the misconception that we don't care or don't want to be friends with you. Sometimes this leads to someone trying to force us "out of our shell" because "we are shy". Extroverted society says we should be social more and calls us "antisocial". None of this is true! Yes, we need to get out of our heads at times and that may take some help, but most of the time we are processing our thoughts or need to retreat. Don't force your introverted friends to go out when they need time to process their thoughts. When we do tune out of reality for a while let us do so, unless we are curling up inside ourselves in a depressive state. The short summary here is that we process things and recharge in our inner world, so don't call us shy and antisocial - just talk to us and give us our space when we need it. 

Communication

This is key in every relationship or friendship. Don't be afraid to ask when they need their space. It is

likely that your roommate does take personal time when you are not at home, but in case the week gets too crazy and holiday parties (one example of a reason our introvert time shrinks) take up all of that, you should have enough of a communication system that they can let you know if they don't have the energy to converse. It could be a code word between the two of you or simply them stating "I need time". Simply put, don't make them feel guilty for that time and create a space and safe environment that they can be themselves. They are more likely to think you'll understand if you allow them to approach you.

Prep time is needed for longer conversations. Set time aside over dinner or over a game of Scrabble to converse. They will have less annoyance and more energy if you do this (in theory).  I like when people take the time to do a one-on-one conversation as opposed to in groups because we take time to process. By the time we have something to say the topic has changed, or we get constant interruption and can't even get our thoughts out. Verbals are not our strong suit. One-on-one means we have your exclusive attention and can get our thoughts out with less social frustration. Don't judge us for being quieter in groups, but louder with just one person we like.

We can compromise if needed. We also may not say anything about our discomfort because we, once again, think you won't understand. We may coordinate our introvert alone time with your scheduled leavings. You could come home early and see the look of surprise on your introverted roomie's face. It actually throws off our week, somewhat, when that happens - but that doesn't mean we can't readjust. Do what is best for your friendship, at the very least. 

Introverts don't always look excited when we are. Our reactions might not be dynamic, to the point some re-explain their whole idea thinking we don't understand. We do. We are not slow, either, so get that out of your head. If we don't appear like we care, it is entirely possible that isn't on our list of important topics, but we may yet care and it just doesn't show on our faces. I, personally, don't feel that words are necessary to acknowledge I understand. For others' benefit, I say that I do understand to make clear communication possible. I, also, notice things without verbally announcing them, which sometimes gets taken as I "didn't notice". If I verbally announced my observations every time I would sound certifiably insane (because I notice so much that isn't always deemed important). Extroverts, please assume we notice our environment unless otherwise proven wrong, and please assume we understand unless proven wrong. This will save you time and breath.

House Rules

Yes, I know, roommate agreements are a bit weird, but I wish I had made one with my first college roommate. It would have made things so much better. Are we friends? Yes, but so much wasn't discussed early that should have been. Take the time to make house rules. This is different for everyone. Your rules can include social hours and alone time hours (if that helps your relationship work). Extroverts, you can socialize in many places, not just your home, so consider that if you need more social energy coming your way, especially if your introvert roomie needs more space. With this comes an agreement that you will respect their space. Whether you become besties or not, that respect makes a difference.

Introverted or not?

If you don't know, look for these coping skills or reactions to appear. 

- avoidance of you (if you have overwhelmed them too often)

- an annoyed look or expression when you interrupt them at anything (especially if you do so consistently)

- disappearing to the point of seldom being home when you are

- setting aside their own space and being territorial over it (to the point that one object being in their space can cause a death glare or dark look)

- leaving parties early or declining to go when you (extroverted) don't see any urgent tasks on their plate

- being bored at large parties and awkward/quiet in large groups

- headphones on to ignore the outer world

All of the above are signs that we need space or just our natural tendencies. Some of those are stress reactions. Territorial behavior is a practically neon sign when it comes to needing space away from you (again, not about you - it is about our energy). Leaving one ounce of anything in our space and seeing a death glare, or stepping into our zone and getting a not-so-friendly glance is how you know that you invaded our space. If you are invited into that space you get friendly tones from us; there has to be an invite. At any rate, the above list means you are living with an introvert.

Thoughts to ponder

I'll close by explaining why we think extroverts around us might not understand. Our society says "socialize!" and "come out of our shell", but doesn't bother to have extroverts try to understand us. Not that people don't try (kudos if you have tried and are reading this blog post - it is a great start!), but you have to understand that from school years on we have been forced into a box we don't fit in. The first quarantine was actually fun for a few weeks from an introverted perspective because it gave us an excuse to decompress (but after a few weeks more it even got to us). 

Some introverts have been faced with well-meaning people trying to pull us out of our shells by force, thus making us socialize when we didn't have the energy. Most of us create an excuse and get met with coaxing or disappointment, both of which are not fun. I have gotten spotlighted by teachers and it made me want to disappear (even if they meant to make me feel good). I hope you're catching my wavelength, here. We want people to learn about us, try to understand us, and explore our world on our own terms and voluntary will. The best thing you can do for an introvert is to take an interest in them quietly and accept that they need recharge space. When you do this, they will come to you for attention, much like a cat.

 Sources:

https://www.truity.com/blog/survival-guide-introverts-who-live-extroverts-and-vice-versa

https://introvertdear.com/news/why-its-hard-for-introverts-to-share-a-home-with-others-how-to-cope/

https://introvertdear.com/news/introverts-guide-dealing-roommates/

https://outpost-club.com/blog/living-with-roommates-as-an-introvert

https://www.quora.com/How-can-I-deal-with-my-extremely-introverted-flatmate-Ive-tried-talking-to-her-multiple-times-but-she-keeps-avoiding-me

Pictures:

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Sarah See Anderson

Marvel Comics That Aren't Mainstream

 We all know Marvel Comics for Iron Man, Captain America, Captain Marvel, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Fantastic Four, and so on, but let's talk about the Marvel that was not mainstream but was - make no mistake - just as good. 

Comics Worth Reading

I have recently read about Squirrel Girl and was curious enough to invest my amazon gift cards from Christmas and Birthday into getting a full set of The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl. Halfway through book 1 of 4 of the set I have no regrets, not one. I now want to collect them all. 

We know that comics get a little weird, depending on what you are reading, and X-Men can get confusing (past to present to past, and what's going on now?!), but here are some heroes you should look into in Marvel Comics. (I may do a DC Comics edition of this blog topic later, but it depends on what I find.)

Squirrel Girl

Comicbook.com

I opened talking about her, so let's start here. She is part squirrel and part human. She has a squirrel named Tippy Toe as her sidekick and can call a squirrel army to help her at any time (except in space). She once defeated Thanos. Any questions? I love her because she is super awkward (like me) and I totally want a squirrel army. Her alter ego is Doreen Green and she shoves her tail in her pants, then claims she has an awesome butt.

You're asking what she does if I'm guessing correctly. She has had contact with the Avengers and several other Marvel heroes, some she was hoping to get in a team with. It didn't always work out, since she was a bit weird even for Iron Man, but they do know her, and she has joined several teams throughout her fictional life. She is not a mutant, in case you were wondering. Her methods of fighting involve her squirrel army and her wits (including talking Kraven the Hunter into not going after Spiderman). If you like characters breaking the fourth wall, you'll like Doreen Green.

Lastly, on this heroine, we discuss her physical abilities. She can lift between 800 lbs and 25 tons. She can chew through a steel door in seconds. She leaps several stories and climbs like a squirrel. Night and peripheral vision are awesome as well because she is part squirrel. She does heal at an accelerated rate, too. Check her out sometime at your public library (and you will probably have to do an interlibrary loan, given she isn't mainstream).

For more on her specific history, here is the whole picture: https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Doreen_Green_(Earth-616)

Captain Britain

Comicbook.com

It isn't hard to imagine this dude. He looks like Captain America, only he is wearing a British flag. His alter ego name is Brian Braddock. Braddock is clearly from the British Isles. He gains power from the Amulet of Right and protects the omniverse. He is powered by energies from the Otherworld (so, powered by the will of the British people, loosely translated). He once teamed up with Captain America to defeat Red Skull. Fun fact, this was Peter Parker's roommate at Empire University (where Squirrel Girl decided to get her degree, also). He gave his twin Betsy the mantle for a while, but she was unprepared and he took it up again.

Captain Britain can't go too far from the British Isles or he loses some power. If I misunderstood I wish to have it explained more, but that's what I'm getting from Wikipedia Marvel. His powers have also shifted from his amulet to his suit, then to his confidence. It all sounds a bit confusing (but I have never read it, so it may not be). At his peak, he can lift 90 tons and exert himself for 24 hours. His suit creates a forcefield to protect him, and his confidence somehow creates this as well (again, if I didn't get it right, correct me). I think he has to wear the suit to have the power and his confidence levels make a difference in his power level. 

For more on this hero, the link below is your guide:
https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Brian_Braddock_(Earth-616)#History

Julia Carpenter

Marvel Database - Fandom

Here we have the second Spiderwoman, Julia Carpenter, also known as Arachne and Madame Web previous to this. She is not mainstream mostly because the characters leading to her have not been introduced in films. She is in some video games. She was part of a genetic study, leading to her having powers similar to Spiderman. She has teamed up with Iron Man due to a situation where she was being bounty hunted, as well as teaming up with Spiderman to battle Wrecking Crew. Her daughter Rachel has been used to make her fight Spiderman, but in the end, she couldn't kill him and he helped her get Rachel back. She lost her powers once, then got them back with a serum to become Arachne. Her history gets so deep and complicated that it may be in your best interest to start at the beginning comics.

History aside, we look at her powers. She can lift 10 tons, exert herself for several hours, has super reflexes (as expected from a spider power), is immune to all known poison, and has a sense of vibrations so finetuned she can sense a spider moving on a wall and know when she is walking over a hollow floor just by walking on it. Her webs, to be clear, are psiwebs, and thus can do a bit more than Spiderman's webs. Loosely translated, she can control web movement mentally and create a web from a distance. She is also blind.

Again, I give you more on her below:

https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Julia_Carpenter_(Earth-616)?file=Julia_Carpenter_%2528Earth-616%2529_from_Prowler_Vol_2_2_001.jpg#History

New Years Resolutions History

 A new year and new resolutions, but do we know why everyone makes and breaks resolutions? Let's dive into the history of New Year's traditions.

Modern resolutions reflect our excess and cushy lives. Way back in BC times agriculture (from the Egyptians to the Chinese) was what made the world go 'round. No crops meant no food or money. They resolved to be good so crops would be bountiful. Our society has different needs, and some aren't needs at all if you truly look at it from the perspective of poverty-stricken people. Resolving to go use a gym membership is not a need unless you need to lose weight. Trying to consume less social media implies that you have the means to look at social media often. While losing your smoking habit is definitely a need for your health, other resolutions are far from needs.

4000 years ago Babylonians started the tradition. During the Akito festival, they would pledge and make promises. If they kept them, they were on the good side of the gods. If not, they were not favored. Julius Caesar created a new calendar in 46 BC and made January 1st the beginning of the new year, thus honoring the god Janus (a two-faced God looking back into the past and into the future). Romans promised good behavior to honor Janus and made sacrifices. In the middle ages, knights renewed chivalry vows by placing hands on a live or roasted peacock (or pheasant, if peacocks were unavailable). This would be an end-of-year celebration called a "peacock vow". 

With that background, we move into modern times. 17th Century made resolutions common. This is still true today. We don't resolve to be good to gods for the sake of crops, but to ourselves out of a need to self-improve. We reflect on our goals in the new year and try to do better. A new year and a new start is the mindset of most who make resolutions. 40 percent set resolutions, 80 percent break them by February, and only 8 percent are successful. Experts say we are doomed to fail. 

Common Resolutions

Setting goals means you need to have actual steps to success. Most fail to plan those steps and think too big, especially when little steps, done consistently, are needed to create habits. The most common ones include health, weight, media consumption, relationships, money, work, and travel. 

Breaking resolutions is extremely easy to do. One or two missed weeks at the gym and you can simply stop going to the gym entirely with little effort. A month later you slap your forehead like you need V8 while looking at your resolution list. So, yeah, that 8 percent worked hard to make their resolution a success. Below you will find the resolutions most forgotten. 

- lose weight/get fit  - quit smoking  - learn something new  - eat healthier/diet  

- get out of debt/save money  - spend time with family more often  - travel to new places

- reduce stress  - volunteer   - drink less 

Why they fail

Above I talked about setting goals with concrete steps and consistent habits. Take into consideration that unshared resolutions have no accountability and we have more than one solid reason that we often fail at keeping them. Put simply, with no accountability and no small steps to achieve our objective, we make it easy to forget our resolution as life's stress takes hold of our schedule. Too many resolutions only lead to frustration as you overwhelm yourself.

Advice to those keeping their resolutions would be to have an accountability partner, keep concrete small goals that lead up to your main goal, and not to think too big. Don't make the list too long. One or two big goals with small goals that lead up to them would be a solid plan. Monitoring your goal is a must. Give yourself time to change habits. Don't think that it will be easy. Make it manageable, trackable, and give yourself a time frame to do it within. 

If you want an example, suppose I wanted to work out consistently, possibly do Zumba at least once a week. I call my fictional friend Sally and we agree to do it together. With this in mind, we set up a time and day of the week to do so at my house, her house, or at a workout studio near us. If one of us forgets or life events get in our way we jump back into the schedule as soon as humanly possible. She calls me and I call her to keep each other going strong. After a while, we have created a habit. This goal was manageable because Sally and I had a plan set in place and kept track of our Zumba habit in a planner or calendar. This type of goal is set often with no accountability or plan in place, but if you do it like this you have a chance of success.

2020 is over

2020 was a blur of Corona Virus, cancellations, and general disappointment, as well as poor mental health and isolation. I think we can all agree that this past year was a dumpster fire that is still smoldering. That said, we have a vaccine out and I can tell you that I have gotten it (no side effects for me, in case you were wondering). We are alive. Take care of yourselves and good luck keeping those resolutions!

Ps. Look up Dumpster Fire 2020 on google for some fun entertainment and good laughs. They make 2020 dumpster fire toys and ornaments! The picture to your left is a cross-stitch.

Pictures:

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https://www.trafalgar.com/real-word/history-new-years-resolutions/

https://www.history.com/news/the-history-of-new-years-resolutions

http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/completelist/0,29569,2040218,00.html

https://people.howstuffworks.com/culture-traditions/holidays-other/why-make-new-years-resolutions1.htm

https://www.cnet.com/health/the-history-of-new-years-resolutions-and-celebrations/