Disney heroes that were originally villains

 Pull out your book of Hans Christian Anderson tales and Brothers Grimm and let's dive in. Let's see what Disney made more pleasant for the sake of children. 

Disney, that great monopoly we know and love, has toned down so much that when we read the original tales themselves we find ourselves horrified with the violence and darkness of it. Children of the time of Grimm and Andersen were told tales that we wouldn't read to our own children, let alone ourselves. Usually, each tale had a moral to it. Frankly, after volume I was out of Brothers Grimm, even the Grimm brothers toned down tales. Some of these dark stories were told verbally and then edited by the brothers Grimm, who collected these tales to put in a written volume. Disney got a lot of material from here. Without any further ado, we go on. They are not all Grimm, but they are close enough.

Elsa

Yes, you Frozen fans, Elsa is not a hero in the Hans Christian Andersen story of  The Snow Queen. She

was a villain. Your favorite ice-themed movie may have been based upon this story released in the 1800s, but it is nothing like it. 

The main storyline of The Snow Queen goes like this. An evil troll (the devil) made a mirror that distorts everything it reflects, magnifying their flaws and ignoring their beauty. This falls to earth and shatters, hitting humans below in fragments, when the trolls try to take it to Heaven to make fools of God and the angels. Two kids, Gerda and Kai, become friends, hear of a "snow queen" who is present where frost is, and then Kai sees her. He draws back in fear, then later gets splinters of the troll mirror in his heart and eyes. He literally follows the snow queen and hates everyone else after this. The people think Kai died in the river, but Gerda looks for him and finds a sorceress, who wants Gerda to stay forever, so she makes roses (which remind Gerda of Kai) disappear. One rose reminds her of Kai and talks to her, saying Kai is alive. A reindeer named Bae eventually leads her to Lapland, after more talking animals and a royal family help her. The Lord's prayer allows her to get past the snowflakes in the palace. Gerda's tears save Kai (in a complicated way) and the whole story ends with Matthew 18:3 being recited. The moral? You must become like an innocent child (like Gerda). 

To be clear, Frozen did get some of it right, but it was not the story Andersen wrote - it was a new storyline that Disney developed from an old storyline. And they are still making money off of it like crazy. It is not a bad storyline, given what they left out.

Peter Pan

This is not a Grimm or Andersen story, but I wanted to include it. It was written by JM Barrie, who lost his 13-year-old brother and couldn't cope with the loss. So he wrote Peter Pan. He had an unhealthy obsession with young boys due to his brother's death. It is not one cohesive book, but several stories, all of a boy who never grows up and has endless adventures with pirates, mermaids, fairies, and Native Americans. 

Peter Pan ran away from his parents, returned to find a new baby, and came to the conclusion he was no longer wanted there. He never returned. He has no ability to love and no empathy. The storyline is pretty close to the cartoon movie, except that the lost boys end up in the Darling household. Tinkerbell is no angel, either, and out of jealousy tries to kill Wendy (but to be fair she can only have one emotion at a time). She is redeemed by her loyalty to Peter, who unfortunately doesn't show much loyalty for her. He comes to Wendy years later, finds she grew up, and then takes her daughter with him on his adventures, then when Jane grows up he takes her daughter....and so on. Did I mention he killed the lost boys when they couldn't fit in the treehouse? No? Well, you might want to consider that. 

We could be cheering for the wrong hero when we watch Peter Pan. He may or may not be a sociopath (I'd need an expert's opinion on that), but we know he didn't care what his followers wanted, only what he wanted. In the TV show Once Upon A Time, he is portrayed as evil. Consider that for a second. Is hook trying to save the lost boys from Peter? If we learned the story backward, that means we look at the story from the villain's point of view, and we believed it. He can't tell the difference between real and fantasy, so he didn't always feed the boys, and he killed them when they were growing up - because growing up is against the rules. If you take Neverland, don't think of it as a fantasy, and think of the people Peter is around as real you get a nightmare. Basically, empathy is an adult trait and Peter never developed it. So, kidnapping kids from their homes and forcing them to live in Neverland is actually the stuff of serial killers. "Pretend meals" are not real and he is starving the lost boys and making them fight pirates because Peter doesn't understand what he is doing - they are playthings to him. Do you understand now? I thought so.

Captain Phoebus from The Hunchback Of Notre Dame

If you read the real book by Victor Hugo, you find that Claud Frollo had problems, but Phoebus nearly

raped Esmerelda, too. And Esmerelda died at the end. Phoebus, while engaged to another woman and drunk, convinced a 16-year-old girl (Esmerelda) to undress for him, partially because she didn't understand what was happening. When he gets stabbed by Claude Frollo out of jealousy, which is a long story and you should read the book to hear it, he doesn't bother to tell anyone she was innocent of the crime but instead leaves her to deal with being half-naked in a hay wagon to be hung (and our hunchback saves her from this). Phoebus even stands there with his fiance and she sees him alive. She had thought him dead. 

Compared to the Disney cartoon of this classic, we see a vastly different picture of this officer, who is clearly less than a hero. Claude Frollo did lust after Esmerelda, yes, and he did try to rape her, but he took in Quasimodo out of his heart and cared for him. Read the book, or at least a summary online. Frollo was not as monstrous as you would actually think. Lustful yes, but not cold toward Quasimodo, at least not until Quasimodo protected Esmerelda. Frollo is still a villain, but there was more than one villain from Esmerelda's point of view.

Conclusion

When I researched this I did not consider antiheroes, but instead heroes that have been loved and idolized as heroic. I did it this way because antiheroes have their flaws laid out for us (example: Deadpool), but heroes that we are more inclined to ignore the faults of don't have that. I almost put Tinkerbell on here, but one, I like Tinkerbell, and two, Peter Pan caused some of her issues. What I will say on her behalf is that she can only have one emotion at a time and the Faerie lore is not something that would put you to sleep at night, despite the happy pictures of Pixie Hollow you see in her movies and games. 

Faerie lore says this about the pixie creatures:

They are unique to Britain, specifically in Devon, Somerset, and Cornwall in Southern England. Fairies and pixies are not the same and fought a battle in that area, where the pixies won. It is debated whether they have wings or not and are supposed to be uncommonly beautiful, or distorted (depends where you look). They have green slanted eyes and pointed ears. They are generally unclothed, most of the time. Their size is debated and some say they can change size at will. They like to sing and dance, and thus can be heard in some places (some said). They love humans and can take them for mates. They are supposed to be helpful, but can be malicious tricksters. They steal horses, legend says, and return them. They have stolen children and led people astray (and this can be prevented by turning your coat inside out, for some reason). If you follow a pixie you often vanish without a trace. Contact with metal harms them. Farmers used to leave buckets of water for pixies, a pitcher of milk out, and clean their chimneys for them. They are immortal. 

Pictures:

Villains wiki- fandom
D23
Carbon Costume
Tumgir
Digital Literary Analysis - CUNY

Sources:

Wikipedia (for Peter Pan and Snow Queen)
https://www.litcharts.com/lit/peter-pan/summary
https://www.vox.com/culture/2017/7/27/16021572/peter-pan-became-evil-jm-barrie-llewelyn-davies
http://celticanamcara.blogspot.com/2009/03/pixies.html

For Extroverts With Introvert Roommates

So you have an introverted roommate and just don't understand them. You're in luck because today I am going to explain how to comfortably live with your introverted roommate while making them comfortable as well. 

As an introvert, I have felt stress from living with an extrovert (though I know they didn't actually mean to cause me stress), so if your roommate seems distant they may just need more space. They may not even be paying attention to the outside world at all - we turn inward for stimulation, not outward -  so don't assume we hate you. Unless they actually say they dislike you, assume nothing.

This is for the extroverts getting confused as to why we do what we do. Think of us as somewhat cat-like, if that helps. We only want attention for a short time or a certain amount of time before we get overwhelmed or stressed. Here are some guidelines to keep in mind when you are an extrovert living with an introvert, from the mouth of an introvert herself.

Personal Space

We need a hiding place, much like cats, to hide in when we feel overwhelmed by life, school, or anything that causes our brains to overload. Extroverts get energy from others (as do we, but not in the same sense) and feel the need to converse often and have friends over all the time. Given this fact, you are probably confused, extroverted friend, as to why we do disappear. All the same, allow us our sacred spaces. We recharge in those spaces and the result is energy to interact with you. It is in your best interest in your roommate relationship to allow us to recharge.

Sacred spaces are where we can avoid human interaction to recharge, pull out a book, journal...etc. This can be our cars, bedrooms, or any other spaces we deem sacred. You step in unwelcome and we may be a little less friendly, so fair warning, try to avoid doing so without an invitation. Ask what their sacred spaces are if you don't know. Usually, a perceptive human might be able to sense it, but not always. We hide our annoyance well sometimes (because we sometimes assume you won't understand and there is no polite way to say "I love/like you but leave me alone").

Having Friends Over

A good rule of thumb is to have your own space to entertain that doesn't mess with our personal sacred spaces. Make sure we know you have friends coming over. Why is this important? Well, we come home to decompress from our classes or work, and seeing people we don't expect causes us to feel a need to give our energy to socialize that we don't have. We feel obligated to socialize and we are already drained by the day. If we know someone is coming over we can at least prepare ourselves for human interaction.

We do want you to be happy. Don't read this as we don't want to meet your friends; we probably do (give or take some people here and there). Introduce us, please. If you notice we are overwhelmed by someone who is always loud, interrupting, or in our personal space you might want to give us an escape route. We could potentially have one planned, already, but give us an excuse to leave. These are energy vampires to us and suck our social energy away rapidly. 

Here it is necessary to show you what I mean by an energy vampire. People cost us social energy and give us social energy based on who they are and how they act. Most people give and cost energy in the same interaction. Some people give pure energy, and we love these people with a passion that draws us to them. Energy vampires, as you can imagine, make us want to run in the other direction. Energy vampires talk over us, are far too loud, get in our personal space, don't read the body language that says "go away" or "I'm busy", interrupt us constantly, and fill every silent moment introverts enjoy with meaningless (here "Meaningless" is defined as surface-level conversation) noise. In other words, people who don't allow us to decompress at all make our social batteries die within five minutes (a scarily accurate estimate). You see, living in an extrovert-centered society means we don't have a polite phrase to ask for personal introvert space. Introverts are told to get louder, but extroverts are not told to be quieter (unless in a library). Keep this in mind. Save us from energy vampires, when you can. 

Daily Interaction

We do want your company. We do want to get to know you. We do want to talk to you. What we dislike is surface-level conversation, or small talk, to be the entire conversation. Our society has forced us to learn small talk, but we want deeper conversation in our daily lives. Bring up your favorite things and ask us what ours are, tell us about your hobbies and ask us about ours....etc. Even sitting in the same room with us and watching a TV Show is still bonding to us. Interaction like this can develop more conversation because you aren't forcing your way into our world; we are instead compelled to invite you into ours (and for introverts, this is our way of making friends). We don't need constant outer stimulation. Our minds are loud enough. Let us show you our world voluntarily as you show us yours.

I know that we also have a talent others don't - the ability to disappear into our own heads and ignore our outer world (which makes some introverts great writers). With this talent comes misunderstanding and the misconception that we don't care or don't want to be friends with you. Sometimes this leads to someone trying to force us "out of our shell" because "we are shy". Extroverted society says we should be social more and calls us "antisocial". None of this is true! Yes, we need to get out of our heads at times and that may take some help, but most of the time we are processing our thoughts or need to retreat. Don't force your introverted friends to go out when they need time to process their thoughts. When we do tune out of reality for a while let us do so, unless we are curling up inside ourselves in a depressive state. The short summary here is that we process things and recharge in our inner world, so don't call us shy and antisocial - just talk to us and give us our space when we need it. 

Communication

This is key in every relationship or friendship. Don't be afraid to ask when they need their space. It is

likely that your roommate does take personal time when you are not at home, but in case the week gets too crazy and holiday parties (one example of a reason our introvert time shrinks) take up all of that, you should have enough of a communication system that they can let you know if they don't have the energy to converse. It could be a code word between the two of you or simply them stating "I need time". Simply put, don't make them feel guilty for that time and create a space and safe environment that they can be themselves. They are more likely to think you'll understand if you allow them to approach you.

Prep time is needed for longer conversations. Set time aside over dinner or over a game of Scrabble to converse. They will have less annoyance and more energy if you do this (in theory).  I like when people take the time to do a one-on-one conversation as opposed to in groups because we take time to process. By the time we have something to say the topic has changed, or we get constant interruption and can't even get our thoughts out. Verbals are not our strong suit. One-on-one means we have your exclusive attention and can get our thoughts out with less social frustration. Don't judge us for being quieter in groups, but louder with just one person we like.

We can compromise if needed. We also may not say anything about our discomfort because we, once again, think you won't understand. We may coordinate our introvert alone time with your scheduled leavings. You could come home early and see the look of surprise on your introverted roomie's face. It actually throws off our week, somewhat, when that happens - but that doesn't mean we can't readjust. Do what is best for your friendship, at the very least. 

Introverts don't always look excited when we are. Our reactions might not be dynamic, to the point some re-explain their whole idea thinking we don't understand. We do. We are not slow, either, so get that out of your head. If we don't appear like we care, it is entirely possible that isn't on our list of important topics, but we may yet care and it just doesn't show on our faces. I, personally, don't feel that words are necessary to acknowledge I understand. For others' benefit, I say that I do understand to make clear communication possible. I, also, notice things without verbally announcing them, which sometimes gets taken as I "didn't notice". If I verbally announced my observations every time I would sound certifiably insane (because I notice so much that isn't always deemed important). Extroverts, please assume we notice our environment unless otherwise proven wrong, and please assume we understand unless proven wrong. This will save you time and breath.

House Rules

Yes, I know, roommate agreements are a bit weird, but I wish I had made one with my first college roommate. It would have made things so much better. Are we friends? Yes, but so much wasn't discussed early that should have been. Take the time to make house rules. This is different for everyone. Your rules can include social hours and alone time hours (if that helps your relationship work). Extroverts, you can socialize in many places, not just your home, so consider that if you need more social energy coming your way, especially if your introvert roomie needs more space. With this comes an agreement that you will respect their space. Whether you become besties or not, that respect makes a difference.

Introverted or not?

If you don't know, look for these coping skills or reactions to appear. 

- avoidance of you (if you have overwhelmed them too often)

- an annoyed look or expression when you interrupt them at anything (especially if you do so consistently)

- disappearing to the point of seldom being home when you are

- setting aside their own space and being territorial over it (to the point that one object being in their space can cause a death glare or dark look)

- leaving parties early or declining to go when you (extroverted) don't see any urgent tasks on their plate

- being bored at large parties and awkward/quiet in large groups

- headphones on to ignore the outer world

All of the above are signs that we need space or just our natural tendencies. Some of those are stress reactions. Territorial behavior is a practically neon sign when it comes to needing space away from you (again, not about you - it is about our energy). Leaving one ounce of anything in our space and seeing a death glare, or stepping into our zone and getting a not-so-friendly glance is how you know that you invaded our space. If you are invited into that space you get friendly tones from us; there has to be an invite. At any rate, the above list means you are living with an introvert.

Thoughts to ponder

I'll close by explaining why we think extroverts around us might not understand. Our society says "socialize!" and "come out of our shell", but doesn't bother to have extroverts try to understand us. Not that people don't try (kudos if you have tried and are reading this blog post - it is a great start!), but you have to understand that from school years on we have been forced into a box we don't fit in. The first quarantine was actually fun for a few weeks from an introverted perspective because it gave us an excuse to decompress (but after a few weeks more it even got to us). 

Some introverts have been faced with well-meaning people trying to pull us out of our shells by force, thus making us socialize when we didn't have the energy. Most of us create an excuse and get met with coaxing or disappointment, both of which are not fun. I have gotten spotlighted by teachers and it made me want to disappear (even if they meant to make me feel good). I hope you're catching my wavelength, here. We want people to learn about us, try to understand us, and explore our world on our own terms and voluntary will. The best thing you can do for an introvert is to take an interest in them quietly and accept that they need recharge space. When you do this, they will come to you for attention, much like a cat.

 Sources:

https://www.truity.com/blog/survival-guide-introverts-who-live-extroverts-and-vice-versa

https://introvertdear.com/news/why-its-hard-for-introverts-to-share-a-home-with-others-how-to-cope/

https://introvertdear.com/news/introverts-guide-dealing-roommates/

https://outpost-club.com/blog/living-with-roommates-as-an-introvert

https://www.quora.com/How-can-I-deal-with-my-extremely-introverted-flatmate-Ive-tried-talking-to-her-multiple-times-but-she-keeps-avoiding-me

Pictures:

Via Imgur u/Psaiko33

Pinterest

Fairygodboss

Sarah See Anderson

Marvel Comics That Aren't Mainstream

 We all know Marvel Comics for Iron Man, Captain America, Captain Marvel, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Fantastic Four, and so on, but let's talk about the Marvel that was not mainstream but was - make no mistake - just as good. 

Comics Worth Reading

I have recently read about Squirrel Girl and was curious enough to invest my amazon gift cards from Christmas and Birthday into getting a full set of The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl. Halfway through book 1 of 4 of the set I have no regrets, not one. I now want to collect them all. 

We know that comics get a little weird, depending on what you are reading, and X-Men can get confusing (past to present to past, and what's going on now?!), but here are some heroes you should look into in Marvel Comics. (I may do a DC Comics edition of this blog topic later, but it depends on what I find.)

Squirrel Girl

Comicbook.com

I opened talking about her, so let's start here. She is part squirrel and part human. She has a squirrel named Tippy Toe as her sidekick and can call a squirrel army to help her at any time (except in space). She once defeated Thanos. Any questions? I love her because she is super awkward (like me) and I totally want a squirrel army. Her alter ego is Doreen Green and she shoves her tail in her pants, then claims she has an awesome butt.

You're asking what she does if I'm guessing correctly. She has had contact with the Avengers and several other Marvel heroes, some she was hoping to get in a team with. It didn't always work out, since she was a bit weird even for Iron Man, but they do know her, and she has joined several teams throughout her fictional life. She is not a mutant, in case you were wondering. Her methods of fighting involve her squirrel army and her wits (including talking Kraven the Hunter into not going after Spiderman). If you like characters breaking the fourth wall, you'll like Doreen Green.

Lastly, on this heroine, we discuss her physical abilities. She can lift between 800 lbs and 25 tons. She can chew through a steel door in seconds. She leaps several stories and climbs like a squirrel. Night and peripheral vision are awesome as well because she is part squirrel. She does heal at an accelerated rate, too. Check her out sometime at your public library (and you will probably have to do an interlibrary loan, given she isn't mainstream).

For more on her specific history, here is the whole picture: https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Doreen_Green_(Earth-616)

Captain Britain

Comicbook.com

It isn't hard to imagine this dude. He looks like Captain America, only he is wearing a British flag. His alter ego name is Brian Braddock. Braddock is clearly from the British Isles. He gains power from the Amulet of Right and protects the omniverse. He is powered by energies from the Otherworld (so, powered by the will of the British people, loosely translated). He once teamed up with Captain America to defeat Red Skull. Fun fact, this was Peter Parker's roommate at Empire University (where Squirrel Girl decided to get her degree, also). He gave his twin Betsy the mantle for a while, but she was unprepared and he took it up again.

Captain Britain can't go too far from the British Isles or he loses some power. If I misunderstood I wish to have it explained more, but that's what I'm getting from Wikipedia Marvel. His powers have also shifted from his amulet to his suit, then to his confidence. It all sounds a bit confusing (but I have never read it, so it may not be). At his peak, he can lift 90 tons and exert himself for 24 hours. His suit creates a forcefield to protect him, and his confidence somehow creates this as well (again, if I didn't get it right, correct me). I think he has to wear the suit to have the power and his confidence levels make a difference in his power level. 

For more on this hero, the link below is your guide:
https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Brian_Braddock_(Earth-616)#History

Julia Carpenter

Marvel Database - Fandom

Here we have the second Spiderwoman, Julia Carpenter, also known as Arachne and Madame Web previous to this. She is not mainstream mostly because the characters leading to her have not been introduced in films. She is in some video games. She was part of a genetic study, leading to her having powers similar to Spiderman. She has teamed up with Iron Man due to a situation where she was being bounty hunted, as well as teaming up with Spiderman to battle Wrecking Crew. Her daughter Rachel has been used to make her fight Spiderman, but in the end, she couldn't kill him and he helped her get Rachel back. She lost her powers once, then got them back with a serum to become Arachne. Her history gets so deep and complicated that it may be in your best interest to start at the beginning comics.

History aside, we look at her powers. She can lift 10 tons, exert herself for several hours, has super reflexes (as expected from a spider power), is immune to all known poison, and has a sense of vibrations so finetuned she can sense a spider moving on a wall and know when she is walking over a hollow floor just by walking on it. Her webs, to be clear, are psiwebs, and thus can do a bit more than Spiderman's webs. Loosely translated, she can control web movement mentally and create a web from a distance. She is also blind.

Again, I give you more on her below:

https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Julia_Carpenter_(Earth-616)?file=Julia_Carpenter_%2528Earth-616%2529_from_Prowler_Vol_2_2_001.jpg#History

New Years Resolutions History

 A new year and new resolutions, but do we know why everyone makes and breaks resolutions? Let's dive into the history of New Year's traditions.

Modern resolutions reflect our excess and cushy lives. Way back in BC times agriculture (from the Egyptians to the Chinese) was what made the world go 'round. No crops meant no food or money. They resolved to be good so crops would be bountiful. Our society has different needs, and some aren't needs at all if you truly look at it from the perspective of poverty-stricken people. Resolving to go use a gym membership is not a need unless you need to lose weight. Trying to consume less social media implies that you have the means to look at social media often. While losing your smoking habit is definitely a need for your health, other resolutions are far from needs.

4000 years ago Babylonians started the tradition. During the Akito festival, they would pledge and make promises. If they kept them, they were on the good side of the gods. If not, they were not favored. Julius Caesar created a new calendar in 46 BC and made January 1st the beginning of the new year, thus honoring the god Janus (a two-faced God looking back into the past and into the future). Romans promised good behavior to honor Janus and made sacrifices. In the middle ages, knights renewed chivalry vows by placing hands on a live or roasted peacock (or pheasant, if peacocks were unavailable). This would be an end-of-year celebration called a "peacock vow". 

With that background, we move into modern times. 17th Century made resolutions common. This is still true today. We don't resolve to be good to gods for the sake of crops, but to ourselves out of a need to self-improve. We reflect on our goals in the new year and try to do better. A new year and a new start is the mindset of most who make resolutions. 40 percent set resolutions, 80 percent break them by February, and only 8 percent are successful. Experts say we are doomed to fail. 

Common Resolutions

Setting goals means you need to have actual steps to success. Most fail to plan those steps and think too big, especially when little steps, done consistently, are needed to create habits. The most common ones include health, weight, media consumption, relationships, money, work, and travel. 

Breaking resolutions is extremely easy to do. One or two missed weeks at the gym and you can simply stop going to the gym entirely with little effort. A month later you slap your forehead like you need V8 while looking at your resolution list. So, yeah, that 8 percent worked hard to make their resolution a success. Below you will find the resolutions most forgotten. 

- lose weight/get fit  - quit smoking  - learn something new  - eat healthier/diet  

- get out of debt/save money  - spend time with family more often  - travel to new places

- reduce stress  - volunteer   - drink less 

Why they fail

Above I talked about setting goals with concrete steps and consistent habits. Take into consideration that unshared resolutions have no accountability and we have more than one solid reason that we often fail at keeping them. Put simply, with no accountability and no small steps to achieve our objective, we make it easy to forget our resolution as life's stress takes hold of our schedule. Too many resolutions only lead to frustration as you overwhelm yourself.

Advice to those keeping their resolutions would be to have an accountability partner, keep concrete small goals that lead up to your main goal, and not to think too big. Don't make the list too long. One or two big goals with small goals that lead up to them would be a solid plan. Monitoring your goal is a must. Give yourself time to change habits. Don't think that it will be easy. Make it manageable, trackable, and give yourself a time frame to do it within. 

If you want an example, suppose I wanted to work out consistently, possibly do Zumba at least once a week. I call my fictional friend Sally and we agree to do it together. With this in mind, we set up a time and day of the week to do so at my house, her house, or at a workout studio near us. If one of us forgets or life events get in our way we jump back into the schedule as soon as humanly possible. She calls me and I call her to keep each other going strong. After a while, we have created a habit. This goal was manageable because Sally and I had a plan set in place and kept track of our Zumba habit in a planner or calendar. This type of goal is set often with no accountability or plan in place, but if you do it like this you have a chance of success.

2020 is over

2020 was a blur of Corona Virus, cancellations, and general disappointment, as well as poor mental health and isolation. I think we can all agree that this past year was a dumpster fire that is still smoldering. That said, we have a vaccine out and I can tell you that I have gotten it (no side effects for me, in case you were wondering). We are alive. Take care of yourselves and good luck keeping those resolutions!

Ps. Look up Dumpster Fire 2020 on google for some fun entertainment and good laughs. They make 2020 dumpster fire toys and ornaments! The picture to your left is a cross-stitch.

Pictures:

Adobe Stock

Daily Cross Stitch

Imgflip

https://www.trafalgar.com/real-word/history-new-years-resolutions/

https://www.history.com/news/the-history-of-new-years-resolutions

http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/completelist/0,29569,2040218,00.html

https://people.howstuffworks.com/culture-traditions/holidays-other/why-make-new-years-resolutions1.htm

https://www.cnet.com/health/the-history-of-new-years-resolutions-and-celebrations/

Santa and Conspiracy

It is days after Christmas and we are going to be talking about conspiracy, that, and the true origin of Santa Claus. 

St. Nicholas

Let me introduce you to St. Nicholas, a monk who used his whole inheritance to help the needy. In 16th century Europe he was known as Father Christmas. Sailors know him as the patron saint of voyagers because he prayed and saved a ship. He is also the patron and protector of children. He died in 343 AD and his tomb was found in Turkey. This man was the starting point of Santa Claus. St. Nicholas Day is celebrated December 6th. 

If you want more on St. Nicholas, see my last three sources. He was an amazing man and he was real. He is declared a Saint. He has many descriptions throughout time, but the red suit is here to stay. While the holiday has lost some of the original sincerity and love, his popularity as a Saint has not gone away. He took seriously Christ's command to give money to and care for the poor. It would be a good idea to remember that Santa Claus was never just about getting stuff.

Conspiracy Theories

And now we commence with the conspiracy theories that are so far from St. Nicholas you can't even believe they exist. This may, in fact, be why you clicked this link. To quote Monty Python, let's get on with it.

Coca Cola and Santa Claus may be used quite often together, but did Coca Cola invent him?! As mentioned above, his appearance did change throughout time. 1913 is when Coca Cola started putting the man in the red suit in their advertisements. While this was probably just a PR campaign move to get more business during Christmas, some think they created our image of Santa Claus we see today. This myth has been busted by those that say (and quite possibly correctly) that the image of Santa we know today is a hybrid of St. Nicholas and all the images that were created of him over time. 

This next conspiracy comes with a warning. I am going to tell you now that if you won't sleep at night reading the following myth, you should stop reading at the bold asterisks (**) and draw your eyes to the second bold asterisks (**). 

**  

You've been warned. This theory is so weird that I am going to tell you that I don't believe this one to be true at any level. St. Nicholas is the origin of Santa Claus, as far as I am concerned. 

With that said, many of you have probably noticed that Santa can become Satan by a mere switching of letters or spelling mistake. Parents have actually misspelled Santa on presents before. Dyslexia in this case makes one word another word it should never have been. Due to this fact, a few people do believe Santa is Satan because he is drawing our focus from Christ to gift-giving. The color red is associated with Satan. Do I believe that? Heck, no. Are there super-conservative people who do? Yes. 

It gets worse. Some think Santa then ate children after going down chimneys. I have no words to express how weird and awful that belief is. They think St. Nicholas convinced Santa to change his ways, thus we have gifts coming from Santa as compensation for the deceased children. I think this deserves a Captain Picard facepalm. I will not dwell on this any longer. 

**

Elf on the shelf, a tradition that a good handful of parents and teachers participate in every year, is known all around the world. Look up the memes and there is your proof. If you think they are watching you to see if you are good, well, consider who else could be watching you. Did the CIA pop into your mind? For some of the population, it did. A small portion of the humans around us think the CIA is using these elves for surveillance on our political stance and habits. While it is possible to buy nanny-cams and other devices, I doubt that these plastic toys are logging your political stance, not if they are cheap at dollar stores. Are they creepy? Sure, but the CIA has better things to do.

This is another warning because I would like you to sleep at night. This next one is Krampus related. Read onto the next paragraph at your own risk.

Krampus is half human and half goat. He travels with Santa punishing the naughty children. This German idea was said to roam towns at midnight on December 6th. He had a long tongue, fangs, long dark hair, and horns. He lashed out with chains and bells, also swatting bad kids with birch sticks. He could throw kids into the underworld if they were naughty enough. Isn't that charming to think about (sarcasm)? If you want your kids to be good all year and they believe in Santa, tell them this bedtime story and you might scare them into obedience and good behavior (which is most likely the purpose of this legend to begin with).

I'm done talking about Krampus now, so you can read on again if you skipped it.

If anyone has claimed that Christmas is a pagan holiday, they are mistaken. While there were celebrations in December, Sol Invictus and Saturnalia, for example, it is not the same thing. Saturnalia was a three-day fool's feast with gifts that ran from December 17-19. Sol Invictus is celebrated December 25th (yes, Christmas day, but no, not the same) and celebrates the Roman sun god. Sol Invictus was invented after Christmas was celebrated (so, stolen from Christians, technically), and Saturnalia is over by Christmas day. Romans saw Christmas as an opportunity to create their own holiday spin. Sol Invictus and Christmas are not the same.

Another claim is that our Christmas symbols are taken from pagans.  My research says otherwise. It makes the point, a valid point, that one thing can represent many things over years. The rainbow can mean God's promise to never destroy with water again or it can be the homosexual community symbol. It started as one and became another over time. The Nazi symbol at one time meant peace and harmony, and now it represents the Nazis. The point is that one thing means many things by now. We don't have as many new ideas as we may think. On top of this, we also have to consider that a bad thing can (sometimes, situation permitting) be turned around for good. While the Nazi symbol has no hope of that, other symbols do. The cross as a symbol of Christ is a glowing example of a bad thing (shameful, violent punishment on a cross) turned into a good thing (Christ paying for our sins on the cross). 

Conclusions

 A select few of those were a bit past the line of sanity, but now that you know they exist your Christmas conversations can be more interesting than snow and bad roads. I don't believe any of these theories to be true. The only thing I call true in today's content is the origin of Santa Claus being St. Nicholas. 

Now that you can scare your kids into good behavior, I will wish you a blessed day and Merry Christmas! Christ is the reason for the season. Take care of yourself out there.

Pictures:

Christianity Today

Marketing Land

Mediacollege.com

The Guide Liverpool

Sources:

 https://www.friendsofbeamish.co.uk/articles/santa.html

https://www.indigomusic.com/whats-up/christmas-conspiracies

https://catholicstand.com/catholicism-conspiracies-christmas/

https://nypost.com/2017/10/04/archaeologists-discover-the-tomb-of-santa-claus/#:~:text=Yes%2C%20Virginia%2C%20there%20was%20a,1%2C500%2Dyear%2Dold%20St.
https://www.stnicholascenter.org/who-is-st-nicholas
https://www.history.com/topics/christmas/santa-claus

In-person Vs Zoom

Zoom or in-person holiday party? Zoom or in-person office meeting? Zoom or in-person prayer meeting? Zoom or in-person date? All these questions and more are the questions of the day. Let me help! Take a quick look at your pros and cons before canceling anything or going online. 

 

Zoom or any other video calls you make have a different psychological impact than in-person social contact. If it just wasn't the same to talk to your friend on Skype or Zoom or Facetime you have proven this theory to be true. Classes, parties, dates, office meetings, and prayer meetings will not have the same flow. While it may be more convenient to only dress your top half and wear pajamas or sweats on the bottom, it doesn't truly connect us in the same way. This doesn't mean it is not a good way to conduct a meeting. Without any further adieu, let's dive into the pros and cons of Zoom.

The Negatives

This may be a pro and con, depending on your function, but it limits social activity. If you want a super-productive meeting and don't want the social activity to take over this works, but for your holiday party, this doesn't work. You have a set time to meet and (if you have the free version of Zoom) a set amount of time to meet. I, personally, know that my bible study group gets nothing done this way, aside from personal updates and one prayer. Forty minutes is not enough time to dive into Romans and fewer people show up. We aren't a large group to begin with, so this platform will not work for us.

If you have trouble reading people (for more reasons than just your bad internet connection) it is because you only have audio and visual cues to work with. People give off energy and vibes (for example, if they are in a bad mood one can usually tell), but with only your ears and eyes, you can't get a correct reading, and so, you can't truly get a good sense of everyone. On top of this fact, a bad internet connection can cut off your meeting entirely, cause tech. problems, or cause lag. If you have an internet issue you are sunk. Meet in person if your interest is not going to support video meetings. 

Another possible con is that introverts and quiet people have trouble jumping into the meeting with their thoughts. Lag plus constant interruption equals type it out in the chat. No joke, it is much easier to chat out your thoughts because you can't see someone raising a hand or waiting to speak. Us introverts are polite people who wait and form thoughts carefully. Group meetings are bad enough without lag, bad video quality, and the inability to find a good time to jump in. You cannot see if someone is trying to get the floor for a suggestion. One-on-one communication doesn't have this problem, so that's different, but a group meeting usually means our thoughts don't reach the meeting despite our attempts to put them out there. The literal problem for everyone is that we don't know whose turn it is to speak. This concept is based on gaze-awareness (who is looking at whom). 

We have a limit of environments. Our computers are usually sitting in the same place or the internet is only strong in certain places. Your home only has so much variety in it. Your office has even less variety. While you can go find a cafe or restaurant to sit in, most are sitting in their bedroom or living room. Everyone is forced to show only one version of themselves (when it is natural for us to adapt to different places by showing other versions of ourselves). Put simply, you no longer have a separation of home and work, or home and somewhere else. This messes with our brains. 

I think we've all seen situations where parents have to divide attention between your Zoom or Skype meeting and their four-year-old. You are not in a meeting room that shuts out the outside world. It is not a physical boundary, but a psychological one. The outside world can invade your meeting or date. Unless you have a physical space that is free from others, you can easily be distracted. If you are not talking or presenting, you could be doing anything else off-screen. You only agreed to point your face at a screen for forty minutes, if you have nothing to say. If your meeting can be an email, just write the email. It's faster for everyone.

An odd thing about Zoom is that you stare at yourself, along with everyone else. You may catch yourself fixing your hair and adjusting the lights so you look better. It alters the behavior of the people in the room and gives you more to cognitively process. It adds stress, in short. You may be more exhausted by the meeting because of this. Going back to how we only have audio and visual cues, there will be misunderstandings. Because we can't just grab so-and-so to work it out after the meeting and talk about it over lunch, we may not address it at all. Cue the social drama. This is not clear communication. At the end of your meeting, you are also forcibly ejected with no transition. It is too abrupt and throws you back into the outside world with a jolt. All this cognitive processing stresses us out and exhausts us. The energy that comes from fellow human beings is necessary for connection. The vibes coming from your friends make it possible to read them, as said above, and all this together makes all of us extremely tired of Zoom in general. 

Ask yourself one question when you consider Zoom, Skype, or Facetime; is this the right communication option for the conversation? Office meetings are one thing, but delivering the news of a death in the family requires a hug (if you are comfortable with that) or an in-person visit. While I enjoy prayer meetings on any medium, the energy in the room is greater when we are all in-person. Human connection is what we are built for. Think about this. Consider your topic. 

The Positives

I'm going to be straight will all of you. I don't like Zoom. I have been forced to use it all Covid long and I am sick of it. All that aside, I still need to try to be objective here and look for some positives. There may not be many, but here are the ones I could find. Again, I will be blunt. I found more articles on how Zoom exhausts us than how it helps us. The only overly positive reviews are for business uses. I don't think it was ever intended for social gatherings. 

Offices and businesses, the intended use of Zoom, can have meetings with people in other cities, countries, and buildings with convenience and ease (given the internet connection is not bad). This can also go for relatives that can't travel for holidays or birthdays.  The connection online can still keep us in contact with one another, even with all the negatives above. If it is a large meeting this can support it. 

If you need to stream your meet-up, Zoom can do it. You can put it on your social media. It is free. It works with google calendar. It can grow with your group. It is not hard to use (unless you are technologically challenged like some older generations tend to be). While there are some issues, it is generally workable for anyone. 

Working remotely, a way to be home with family, is one thing some people have done during our pandemic. Some will continue to do so long after the pandemic is over. Video calling will allow this to a degree that was never reachable before.  It will make it possible to work from home and care for children. 

My conclusions

Zoom or video calling depends entirely on your intentions. My personal opinion is that it needs to go as far away from our holiday parties or social gatherings as possible, but remain for the use of missionaries, people who can't travel to see family, and businesses. I have had to use it for months. I don't like the sense of exhaustion and frustration it gives me. I have found so many articles about how it exhausts our society that I am convinced that I am not alone in this experience. The only positives that can be found are sometimes ads. 

Please be careful out there, but please know that you need in-person contact more than you think you do. It is entirely up to you what you decide to do with your holiday parties. I leave it up to you. Do what is best for your families. Be safe and responsible. 

Pictures:

Hindustan Times

Burlap and Blue

Pinterest

Bored Panda

Sources:

https://uxdesign.cc/the-psychological-impact-of-video-calls-dbed57aa792b

https://www.greengeeks.com/blog/pros-cons-using-zoom/

https://financesonline.com/pros-cons-of-zoom/

reducing anxiety

 Let's face it, Christmas may be a celebration of Christ's birth, but the holiday shopping society added to it gives us all a bad case of anxiety. Even if you aren't losing it trying to get a perfect gift for your in-laws, parents, spouse, or sibling, all this Covid 19 business is making everyone a bit stir-crazy and anxious. Today we are going to talk about how to calm down without medication (unless you really do need it, and there is no shame in needing it).

Image from Harvard Health - Harvard University

For starters, I'm going to tell you that if you have a legitimate disorder that needs medication this post is not here to shame you. You should listen to any therapists and doctors that are trained to deal with mental illness. Don't try to treat it all by yourself. Get help if you are considering or having thoughts of suicide. Please don't think of me as a doctor. While these may help with your anxiety, I am not a doctor.

What I do know is that disorders of anxiety interfere with basic functions and living well consistently, so if that is the case find a professional. Now that you know I have no medical degree (researching on the internet does not make you a doctor or an expert), we go onward. 

The methods.

I'm not going to lie. I tend to deal with a mind that gets overwhelmed by my own ambitions, dreams, and weirdness. I may sound good (at least I hope I do, anyway) on my blogs, but talking to me in person reveals that I sound better on paper than in person most times, unless there is a script in my hand. Life comes with decisions, lots of them, and sometimes they come all at once. As strange as it sounds, making a decision and committing to it is one way to push past your anxiety. Do something, anything to keep moving in a direction that you feel is right. On this topic, I also add that you need boundaries from taking on others' problems. If you can't handle an extra task you can and should say no before your stress levels go too high. 

photo by Blessing Manifesting

What is good for your heart (physical heart) is good for your brain. Omega 3s can be found in supplements, nuts, grass-fed beef, and fish. Apparently, taking care of your heart is extremely good for your brain and may help combat anxiety. Another thought, from my own experience, is that eating right and drinking water is entirely necessary to keep your mental state balanced. Blood sugar being balanced is essential to normal body functions. If you take a moment to care for your basic needs you do so much better in the long run. You may actually be more productive. To be sure, sleep. Read that again. Don't be pulling all-nighters. Exercise and take care of yourself. Body and mind are connected, so please don't neglect your body or you will regret it. 

Mindfulness, something I just talked about last blog (can be found in the archives), is focusing on your present instead of having worries over your future. Anxiety is triggered by worries about future events. This practice has been called grounding by therapists. If you are a Christian that doesn't know if it is biblical to practice this, go in my blog archives and look for Mindfulness and Christianity. I have the pros and cons right there for you to ponder. With this, slow breathing has been proven effective and is included in some mindfulness exercises. This breathing proves to your body you are not in need of a fight-or-flight response and are okay. 

We all have been watching social media like hawks, and that is where the rumors fly like no other place on earth. If you have someone on there that keeps posting rumors, dark things, bothering you, bullying you.......etc you need to unfollow and unfriend some people. If people are not your issue, turn off social media. Decreasing your attention to all the flying rumors, political posts, dramatic humans, and doomsday false news is going to help you keep your head in the positives. This does not mean you can't talk about the negatives; talk about your problems and deal with them. What I'm saying here is that you should talk it out and move on, instead of staying in your pit of despair to moan over social media, or moan alone. 

If you think playing is only for kids, well, stop. Play gives us a break and the rest we need. Go hang out

with friends (responsibly) and do some form of art or sports. Turn on Netflix, Youtube, a good movie, and stop working for a while. Put simply, do what relaxes you. Whether it be gaming, films, arts, or Dungeons and Dragons, have fun. We were made to balance our work and play together. All work creates too much stress build-up. Give yourself permission to pull out your old Nintendo DS games or do some adult coloring. Play those Nancy Drew PC games. Watch someone play a game, even, if you have no desire to game. If you are losing your mind because you are constantly working you need this mental break before you break yourself. That being said, don't be all play, either; this is a balancing act. 

Talk, speak, say what needs to be said. Tension and anxiety, in some cases, go hand-in-hand. To end the situations that cause this there needs to be a conversation or some sort of resolution. Try to solve the conflict as calmly as possible. If you can't, reread the paragraph on unfollowing people. You may have to make that tough choice if someone will not bury the hatchet. All else fails, leave them standing alone with their hatchet, and bury your own hatchet. I would highly suggest solving the conflict before you attempt to do so, but whatever you do, say and do what you need to. End that tension.

I know they say we should be six feet apart, but physical contact like hugging is good for reducing stress. Find a friend who is comfortable with hugs, give affection to your family, kiss your spouse or significant other, etc. Social distance might help us not catch Corona Virus, but it is killing us mentally. Suicide rates are higher this year and possibly worse than the virus itself in numbers. In a pandemic, there are no right answers. I do think we shouldn't be hugging everyone we see. However, we do need the affection of friends and family as much as we needed it before. Be responsible, but make sure you are getting that affection from somewhere. Cats and dogs are especially good at that.

A cozy fire in the fireplace, crazy as it sounds, could help you deal with your anxiety. If you are legitimately considering setting fire to yourself upon reading that sentence immediately call your doctor (if you think I'm kidding, I'm not). You may need some extra help from more qualified sources in that situation. That dark thought aside, heat is supposed to help. Sun, saunas, a warm bath or shower, and fireplace seats with hot cocoa or tea could potentially help regulate your mood. People in Alaska during the time of year where there is no sun do more suicide, so I personally believe this to be true. While you're at it turn on your essential oil room sprayer to lavender. Put some oil on your wrist or your pillow. Lavender is proven to relax you. Herbal remedies, in this same way, may help. 

As a coffee drinker, this paragraph saddens me. Caffeine can make our anxiety worse. If you have it badly enough you need to skip the coffee and caffeinated tea. If you think it may help, you don't have to give all your coffee dreams up. Moderation is a wonderful idea. Test scaling back on caffeinated beverages and see how you feel. You can add a beverage that isn't caffeinated in its place if you like. Basically, caffeine gives our nerves a jolt, thus causing more anxiety. Decaffeinated tea can be quite relaxing.

If you drink lots of alcohol, you'll be sad at this paragraph. Alcohol can increase anxiety, depression, and irritability into the next day. It is not your friend if you deal with serious mental issues. Please don't hear me say it is evil. On the contrary, I say that it is an inanimate object and will only hinder you when misused, just like every substance on earth. I'm saying that if you have mental issues that are major you shouldn't use it to "self-medicate". A beer a few times a month is not misusing, but five drinks a night for days or weeks is not healthy. Please make sure you don't misuse this liquid refreshment.

Understanding yourself

Do you know your triggers? Do you know what sets you off and makes you spiral? This is an important question. If you don't you could be triggered daily and not know it. This is where journaling your thoughts and analyzing them a day or so after can help you understand yourself. Process your thoughts and emotions. It does help.

photo by Masha Plans

One way to figure out triggers is to write out three things that stressed you out at the end of the day. After a while you find the pattern if there is one. If you find that pattern you can find the triggers. After that, and don't skip this part, write out three things you did well. You often overlook what you've done well. Celebrate what you did well. Reward yourself.

Release your emotions. Let out your stress. Find a controlled environment to do so. This can be going out in the woods to scream (not to be done in a public park) or journaling, like me, on a laptop word document unfiltered. It can be finding a friend and having a vent session. Don't make a friend as on edge as you are, but you can phone-a-friend and talk it out. Find a safe space to release your pent-up emotion. You learn what your emotions are and how to handle them safely through this. 

Introverts and parties with lots of strange people historically don't get along, especially if you didn't drive yourself and your friend has no intention of leaving early. Picture it, a room full of people and you went with your extroverted friend to a party with lots of small-talk and no dog to spend time with. What do you do? Well, you plan an exit strategy and drive yourself to parties (if possible). There is more control there and thus the anxiety lessens. 

Sources:

https://www.heysigmund.com/anxiety-without-medication/

https://www.healthline.com/health/effective-ways-to-fight-anxiety-without-drugs
https://www.reidhealth.org/blog/6-tips-for-managing-anxiety-without-medication

https://pzizz.com/blog/articles/how-to-fight-anxiety-without-medication/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/integrative-mental-health-care/201702/treating-anxiety-without-using-prescription-medications