Men are visual. A phrase that most women have heard every time they wear short shorts at summer church camp. That phrase is not entirely understood unless you look at the situation from a man's point of view. Shall we dive in?
Based on the research I found, it is irrefutable and I have no doubts. Men are far more visually stimulated than women. Unfortunately, it is a fact used (sometimes) to make dress code violations one-sided. Men can control their actions. They are not animals. However, we should be as kind as possible to them in what we wear (and I'm not just saying this to be restrictive). To be entirely fair to men here, they can't just turn it off. There may not be much we can do, truthfully, to help when the advertising world is making it hard to avoid.
There was an experiment proving this done at Emery University Health Sciences Center. The men processed visual stimulation differently than women and you can read about the whole study by clicking my first source link. The basic concept is that men responded quicker to visual cues compared to women who saw the same visual cue. I highly suggest reading the study release. It is fascinating!
Going into more detail
Curiously enough, whether the men around you are gay or straight doesn't matter here. They are still responding quicker to visual cues whether they are dating women or men. They are triggered by the image both physically and psychologically, with no way to turn it off. Looking at advertisement images can tell you that advertisers take this and run with it. Sex sells. Images that have only body parts without faces reflect how much men can focus on parts of the body. These images don't always have to be connected to emotional intimacy - which can confuse women, most of whom connect emotional intimacy to a lot of things.
To make things harder on men, this quick catching of visual cues is involuntary and isn't going to shut off, especially if they have been addicted to porn at some point. Women should probably think before lumping all men into the image of the lustful pig. Some women end up being hard on men for simply noticing other women, and mostly because they don't understand how men are wired. I am not saying a woman should tolerate a man that is actively flirting with every skirt. Let's be clear. I am saying that noticing a woman with less or tight clothing is a visual cue and thus an involuntary action. Actively staring or whistling, on the other hand, is a step past that.
I almost don't want to put this in here, but let's talk about sound and visual cues together. Understanding men is my overall goal in writing this post. If you are a married or sexually active person you know what sex sounds like. Not to be too crude, but take those sounds and pair those with an image of a seductive woman. This is even more powerful than an image alone. Ladies and gentlemen, I now present the porn industry taking advantage of men's wiring. I don't think I need to elaborate. It really messes with men's heads.
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| Things to note: The man's smug smile, the woman's submissive pose, and how she's pressed against him. Basically, the man is the boss, and you are the boss if you wear these jeans. |
I'm also going to acknowledge how the "perfect" man is represented in media. One of my primary sources mentioned something I never would have thought of before. Men's underwear ads have more, well, manhood represented. Again, not trying to be crude, but they are representing men as more than average. Not only that, but the six-pack abs of the models probably don't help the average man feel good about themselves. The underlying message here is that the perfect husband is attractive, muscular, and "packing". Marketing says that you wear it and you are a greek god. Subconsciously it affects men. I think this also applies, somewhat, to any pants ads you see for men. In both cases, some include women in them who are extremely attractive (thus playing off of visual cues) and imply that if you buy those jeans or underwear you get a woman. I don't want to show you an underwear ad, so here is a jean ad that shows a man who is clearly the boss (because power makes anyone feel good) based on his facial expression. (On a comical note, I hope he doesn't move because that lady will fall when he does.) I'll let you analyze the rest of it yourself.
Different men - different sensitivity
Christian culture, as a whole, advocates staying pure until marriage. Christian men tend to have a harder time doing that when media parades women in bikinis and tight clothing over social media, billboards, comic books, and TV. It is hard to find a film, especially when aimed at men, that doesn't have a revealing costume for the women or a sex scene in it. I refer you to Fast and Furious, a franchise aimed at men who like cars, explosions, and action. Women's films, on the other hand, show women in a more-clothed manner. Little Women has a vastly different costume department compared to Fast and Furious.
That being said, some men don't care to shield their eyes. They enjoy it. No guilt at all. Some don't see porn as a problem. There is a Friends episode where Monica gives the guys porn. Some guys have a low sensitivity, while others are high sensitivity. Some don't try to divert their minds from it, while others actively do so. It depends on how you were raised, as well as active choices made as an adult. Those who had trouble with porn in the past have an even harder time than most and had to go against their wiring to get help.
Now, what does "scantily clad" mean for men? Depends on the culture. If it is a culture where women cover up most of their body it would most likely be any part of the body that gets revealed. The woman showing the most skin gets the most attention. Different times in history have women covered more or less. (It explains why ankles, at one point in time, were considered sexy. It is the only part of their body not covered!) According to one of my sources, it is, in fact, impossible to be a reasonably attractive woman and not be noticed, no matter what you're wearing. Yes, the most skin is noticed first, but you will be noticed because men historically notice women.
More information
Before we assume men are only attracted to physical beauty, I have two sources and multiple personal experiences that say that is not the case. Men are not animals, by any means, and can control their actions. They care about personality, emotional intimacy, shared values, and intelligence. They care about more than a good body, ladies. They do care about us.
What we wear does matter. They didn't lie to us at church camp. If you thought they did and wanted a blog to prove it you are not going to find one. The scientific studies and first person sources don't lie. Showing skin effects them, and so does tight clothing. If I'm honest, I did not realize just how much men are made uncomfortable. Again, I will say that some will soak it up with no guilt, but others? Not so much. It is hard to focus on a sports game when you can't unfocus on the volleyball shorts.
Sports and dance is a sticky issue, especially sports that require freedom of movement that makes it difficult to wear more clothing. I ran cross country, a sport that had a culture around it that was anything but modest. Some of us women probably don't want to hear this, but be careful what you wear. It does impact men around you. Going into this topic was a journey where I didn't know what I'd find. Now that I can see what men are seeing, I am questioning what cosplays to wear, what media I consume, and what I wear on a daily basis - because I was oblivious to everything before this blog post was researched in full. If this had been explained to me in this much detail a long time ago I would have done some things differently.
What now?
If you are now wrestling with all this information as a woman I'm right there with you. What do we do with all this and should we change? What do we do in response to be kinder to our men and their brains? I don't quite know, really, and some men don't tell you a lot of this oftentimes. It is mostly talked about by women because it is better presented by women most times (if there needs to be a conversation about it). That being said, some women can be overaggressive about modesty-patroling, so if you had a bad experience with this you aren't alone.
Part of the problem I am seeing in this world is that us women have been taught sexy is beautiful, then clothing stores (most of the popular ones) follow. That gives us clothing that covers less, leading to less modesty and more temptation for the men. Media role models teach us what beauty is, so we follow like sheep without knowing it sometimes. To make this harder on those who want to be modest, the clothing stores that have modest clothes that don't require layering are hard to find. Layering works - don't get me wrong - but I would prefer to not layer, if possible (just me, personally, especially during summer). So, women are taught to change themselves to be sexier, men are told to "suck it up" and deal with their wiring being taken advantage of - and here we are! Aren't we a big happy family (to be taken sarcastically). This is not just one person's fault when you truly logic all this out. Our society has done both genders wrong, really, but we should be helping each other out.
Now we come back to the question of what we do about this mess. Well, what convicts you personally has a lot to do with it. If you feel you shouldn't wear something in front of someone, don't. If you feel no conviction about your outfit at all, it's okay. It has to do with where you are, too, to a degree (as some places are more tolerant), so it may be you feel okay wearing your low v-neck at home while Netflixing, but not at bible study or college study group. You may run in a sports shirt that covers in the Canton area, but run in sports bra and shorts on back roads. It has a time and a place, in essence. It also helps to consider what you are showing someone in film and media (for example, will it cause them to have to resist their wiring to focus?). Yes, some men don't care what they soak in, but just as many do care, especially if they had previous issues with porn. We may be showing them something they never wanted to remember, or worse, trigger more unwanted images. Take the temperament of the men around you into consideration, as well as history. If they regularly don't care, well, they don't care. If they are super careful with movie choices watch what you show them. Use common sense, in short.
Pictures:
Glamour
Show Biz Cheat Sheet
Slideshare
Sources:
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2004/03/040316072953.htm1st person sources:
Since I am not sure who wants to be acknowledged and who doesn't, you know who you are. I realize some don't want to be. Thank you, those who helped.
