Modesty - what is it really?

 We've all heard the phrase "dress modestly", especially in a church context. The issue we face is how.  People have different definitions of "modesty", including some that voice their complaints to total strangers. This goes over like an atom bomb. Society has shoved us between the "be sexy" and "be modest" standards. Let's talk about what modesty really is. 

1925 public indecency - with bathing suits
Courtesy of Pinterest

Today we're looking at this issue from a Christian standpoint. You'll see scripture references and get the perspective of me, a Christian. If you don't agree with my perspective we can agree to disagree. Now that we're all on the same page, let's move on.

Modesty is referenced in the bible often, but we don't always look at the overall context. It's easy to cherry-pick verses to support your views. That's not what you are supposed to do. Any scripture listed in this blog has had the context taken into account. I have looked up commentaries and studied the scriptures myself before I put it in. Feel free to study what I have studied and dive deeper. 

We're also talking about how society is no help at all. From victim-blaming to fashion standards constantly changing, we are in a world that makes modesty almost impossible. Stores stock the fashion standard of the time, making shopping for modest clothing kind of awful. What's even worse? Everyone has a different standard for modesty based on culture and family. Oof. Let's dive in. 

Society Issues

First, we look at the elephant in the room. Victim blaming is prevalent in our society. Women who are sexually assaulted can get comments like "they asked for it by wearing skimpy clothing" when they come out and talk about it. I don't believe you asked for rape by wearing any type of clothing. Anyone who comments this or says this to a rape victim should grow some empathy and learn to keep their mouth shut. Your clothing is never an excuse for rape. The rapist should have had self-control; they are the ones at fault and should be charged in court. The crime of rape itself is mostly about power, not about sexual need. Nuns have been raped. Think about that for a minute. 

Courtesy of Preen.ph

Next, we talk about changing fashions. Every generation has a different standard for what is appropriate. If we went back to the 1800s or 1900s, all of us would be gawked at like we were nude. Why? Pants on women. It was shocking then to wear pants and be female. Now it isn't shocking to see mid-drift tops, but if you stepped into 1950 you'd be in real trouble. I think you see my point. The older generation's definition of modesty is constantly behind the current fashion, making it hard to be modernly modest and please both parents and grandparents. You can't. It's an impossible standard. 

We also have society setting standards for us. Even if you think you don't hold to that standard you've been influenced by it. We're all influenced by everything we see, especially what we repeatedly see. We're told, as the Barbie movie points out, we should be sexy but not too sexy. We can't do any of it right because we offend someone no matter what we do. Whether we offend our elders, the fashion critics, or our peers is the choice we're faced with. Society is broken. Face the truth. We'll offend someone at some point in time by the way we're dressed. 

Cultural differences are another part of this puzzle. Remember that half-time show where Shakira belly danced? I liked it, but many parents were shocked by her outfit. While I do think J-Lo (Jennifer Lopez) was vastly out of line to pole dance, Shakira was already known for her belly dancing. It wasn't that big of a deal to me. Her outfit was literally what her character wore in Zootopia (if you care to compare). Belly dancing is an example of a cultural difference. Many women worldwide belly dance and wear outfits like hers with added embellishments and longer skirts. Many people who had never been exposed to that kind of culture were offended. Different cultures have different standards, even when you look at different countries. What people wear publicly in Italy is not the same as what you can wear at a Christian college (as my one friend found out). This makes everything more difficult for women everywhere. 

What the bible says

We're going to start with 1st Timothy, which has a context many don't actually know. The city of Ephesus was the home of a goddess named Artemus, who allegedly helped women in childbirth by killing them quickly or saving their lives. She also, allegedly, was all about celibacy. (No, she wasn't into lesbianism, just to clear the air.) Many don't even take this context into account when they look at the controversial passage about Paul talking to women. The women were being sold sham information and believing it, converting their husbands to serving Artemus and selling it door to door to other women. Paul is not saying women can't be leaders or have to be silent; he is trying to fix an individual problem in Ephesus. In 1st Tim. 2:9 we get the verse on modesty. What we also know about the city is that wealthy women like to show off their wealth. The first point on modesty doesn't even connect to showing off body parts; it instead addresses women walking the streets in their most expensive attire to flaunt their wealth. If I had to say a moral of the story, it's that we shouldn't be showing off and rubbing wealth in people's faces. 

Courtesy of Quotesbae.com

1st Peter 3:3-5 is another one that isn't talking about the body. 1st Peter itself is a letter about how to live as pilgrims in a difficult, broken world. It's shockingly relevant. Chapter 3 is telling women who have unbelieving husbands to submit to them to lead them to Christ. The overall point is this; that the woman's godly character would show the men they married the light of Christ. Submit, in this case, should be connected to mutual submission of a marriage relationship (basically, love and respect each other). Submit doesn't have to be a bad word. Modesty here means that you have beauty from the inside out and you are not just a pretty face. Inner beauty from following Christ should shine out of you and be a beacon to others. Moral of the story, follow Christ and be a beacon to others with inner beauty. 

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 is the last one I'm putting in. Again, we are not so concerned with body parts showing as we are with actions. 1st Corinthians 6 has to do with lawsuits between believers (basically, how we're being watched and it looks bad) and sexual immorality. The modesty part of this puzzle is that when we sin sexually we sin against our own bodies, which (assuming we've been saved) are God's and not ours. The context here has a lot to do with prostitution and how people thought being saved was being given a license to sin (because you are forgiven of sins). You may have the right to do something, but it may not be beneficial. Being saved isn't a license to sin. In this context, you've given yourself to living for God's will when you are saved, so what you do with your body is part of living for Christ. We are to honor God with our bodily choices. 

Conclusions

If you thought the bible was going to say "cover thy boob-crack" and "skirts should be knee length" you were wrong. It's about actions, inner beauty, and not shoving wealth in people's faces. Live for God as a Christian and you are acting modestly. Really, at the end of it all, what you do with your life should matter more than your clothing. That doesn't mean you go nude or break the public indecency laws, but it does mean you act and dress responsibly. 

Society is broken. We know this to be true. While society has many clothing standards, they shift with time and many standards come back around later. My advice is to live for Christ and be a beacon of inner beauty. Let that guide how you live and honor God by your choices. Oh, and maybe don't flaunt wealth. Because we all hate that. I feel like that last one is common sense. Society has no idea what it wants. Honor God by making choices based on what He guides you to do. God doesn't change His mind every decade like society does. 

Below is an absolutely horrible, but so sadly relevant meme. I found it and thought it was relevant enough to be here. 

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