The Introverted Detective: How To Write Unsettling Characters

Unsettling characters make your audience think and get a little scared. Let's look at how to write those characters.

Tom Riddle - Courtesy of Pinterest

Examples of unsettling characters are some Bond villains, Federov from the book Argylle, and Tom Riddle from Harry Potter. If your skin crawls a bit when they enter the room or scene you've got an unsettling character. How do you write that well? That's today's topic.

Be aware that the ending of Where The Crawdads Sing is spoiled in the the section "unreliable narrator". You've been warned.

General Creep Factor

You need to make your reader squirm. A character needs to set off alarm bells for your protagonist. First, we need to know what creep factor is. Simply put, creepy means a threat is perceived. They come in all shapes and sizes, from trying to cop a feel during a conversation to a smile that never reaches their eyes. But not all creep behavior can be helped because maybe they just look unsettling and are fine. You can come across as creepy and not have sinister intentions.

You know what's unsettling? Unpredictability. If I can't predict you it sets off warning bells in my head, especially if you have a dark vibe. If your audience can't predict them it is a great way to start. As long as you don't fall into the pothole of making them predictably unpredictable you're doing great. Even better if societal norms are thrown to the wayside.

Themarysue.com - Alastor from Hazbin Hotel

Show them they are creepy rather than telling them. Have someone step farther from the creepy character in the scene. Have people avoid them. Let the natural alarm bells ring. Make them wonder what they are really up to, like Alastor in Hazbin Hotel and Bill Cypher in Gravity Falls.

Some creepy features do, in fact, reflect mental illness. Please know this when you write the character. If you don't want to reflect a disorder, you need to make sure you aren't imitating one in your character traits. Be aware of what disorders are out there, such as depression, anxiety, autism, OCD, BPD, etc...

Standing too close and not respecting boundaries makes people vastly uncomfortable. You might also add weird expressions and fidgeting. Obsession makes people squirm, too.

Now, avoiding eye contact can mean many things but it does make people squirm. This is highly situational. Be careful with this one. I don't make good eye contact and introverts everywhere have issues with this. It's actually the opposite that makes me squirm - which would be too much eye contact or unwanted eye contact. I suggest having someone make too much eye contact, rather than not enough.

Emotion is a big thing. Having someone void of emotion, showing too much emotion, or expressing the wrong emotions in the current situation (for example, laughing at the body at a funeral or smiling too much at a funeral) is a major creep factor. When emotion doesn't reach their eyes it is unnerving.

Most of us who are perceptive have a thing, where we play dumb to knowing more about someone than they think we know. When someone knows more about you than you told them it comes across wrong, thus it is on this list. It is creepy if someone knows a lot about you or only knows about your interests. This is a major reason many perceptive people play dumb when they logically deduce things about you in passing.

Another thing writers do is observe people. Hobbies like people-watching and bird-watching hit the creep list because being watched is not something many people like. I don't think birds care, but some of the population of humans definitely do. It's another reason to do the above as a writer - play dumb. However, when your character doesn't it will up that creep factor.

Courtesy of Collider - From the TV series You

I need to say this to clear the air. People watching and stalking are not the same. Sitting on a park bench enjoying the city vibes while thinking is not following someone home or obsessing over them. Many of us sit in coffee shops enjoying the conversation and taking notes on what would make a neat character description. We are not, under any circumstances, following the patrons out to their cars and tailing them home. If you do that you are stalking. Stalking is one great way to make a character creepy. Another twist is if you note all their interests and obsess on those. The You series is a great example.

If a perception of reality doesn't match reality, but the character doesn't care or insists it does you've got a good creep factor going. The scariness of the twisted perception depends on the situation, world, worldbuilding, and generally the character's interests. The sky is the limit with this one. The people with twisted views and perceptions of reality make everyone back up a few steps.

Subtle Creep Factor

Need subtlety? No problem. Here are a few traits that might help you create a more under-the-radar creep. It might be more realistic to life.

Are they simply too calm under pressure? Yeah, that's weird. Or they snap and go back to calm. I knew someone who did that. It was kind of scary.

Inappropriate smiling is another one. Did someone smile at a phrase that they shouldn't have? Take note. This, with added traits, can be unnerving. For example, if someone seems to know more than they say and they smile when someone says a particular phrase you upped the creep factor. Again, the trait of knowing too much about something is going to help here. Especially if they shouldn't know what they know.

Courtesy of Crime Wire - H. H. Holmes

Being too friendly is something you'll want to add if you have an H. H. Holmes character around. The real H. H. Holmes was too friendly with women particularly. He's an excellent, real-life example of someone who is too friendly. Those that turn the charm to 12 out of 10 are usually just appearing friendly; your character can have this trait and be a serial killer like H. H. Holmes.

Unnatural phrasing is a weird one, but many of us notice this when it happens. The character has to be a natural speaker of their language for this to work. The basic idea is that they don't talk like everyone else, but instead phrase things oddly.

Lack of sympathy or empathy is a major red flag, as well as nonchalance toward death and suffering. That can create a scary character by itself. Insisting on getting what they want on top of this is going to create a villain faster than ever.

Either taking everything too seriously or not taking anyone seriously is also a great way to add some creepiness. Peculiar hobbies, attitude, and attire also add to it. Maybe they also have some event or trauma in their past that created their odd outlook on life.

Having one trait that is off-putting and a few that at least appear normal will hide this character if you need to hide them until their time. Suspense and mystery novelists should take note of this method.

More Than Traits

Your character traits are not the only creep factor here. You can literally use their descriptions to create the atmosphere. For example, I can say "Valentino leered at Angel and forced him against the wall" instead of "Valentino shoved Angel against the wall". Both are the same event, except one paints Valentino in a darker light. The vague description doesn't paint Valentino as a creep. Valentino is an excellent example of an unsettling character.

Words like "coerce" instead of "compel" are good for painting the character as a creep. Use words that make your audience uncomfortable. This is when you can make your readers squirm at mere descriptions of actions. Be creative.

What the unsettling character knows is just as effective as everything else. If they know too much about our protagonist you get the feeling they stalked them. When they appear matters, too, because only appearing when our protagonist is alone or vulnerable creates atmosphere.

Consider limiting what we know of this character. Alastor, for example, has an ulterior motive and we don't know who is forcing him to help the hotel. We have limited knowledge of his backstory at best, so it creates questions. People get uncomfortable with what they don't fully understand.

Courtesy of kenhdaotao.edu.vn

Hidden personas help with this. Maybe someone has an outward appearance but is just acting. If they drop their mask a few times in front of a select few you add to the mystery. It might be worth having someone be a really good actor in public and making them drop that persona when off guard later, only to pick it up immediately again when someone gets a bit creeped out.

Look at real life. Look at real serial killers, real stalkers, real criminals who did horrific things and why. Preferably, I'd do this mid-day with a palate cleanser afterward, like a comedy. It depends on whether this stuff falls out of your head or sticks like super glue. Serial killers and homicides are no joke.

A Word of Warning

I'm repeating it again, just so you don't make the mistake of demonizing the mentally ill. Don't paint the mentally ill in a negative light because they have some features perceived as creepy. Different isn't always a bad thing.

Many people who make less eye contact, watch birds, enjoy observing people, and own reptiles are not bad people, but these are all traits that have "creepy" connotations. Lots of individuals in the world do not perceive social cues as well as the average population, so maybe standing too close is not something they understand. Autism makes it hard to make eye contact, for example. Awkward people who don't necessarily know how to socialize or have social anxiety aren't magically going to understand the art of conversation.

Don't demonize the neurodivergent on accident. Your story could reach millions. You never know.

When Your Protagonist is Unsettled

The emotion is key. We need to know your protagonist is uncomfortable around this person and senses a threat, whether it is or isn't a threat. Play with this if you want. Maybe someone isn't a threat and their "safe" person is the real threat.

Your internal dialogue when you sense a threat is not always rational. You just want to get back to safety. You only want to get away from this person and are hyper-aware of the threat. Have your internal character dialogue play off of that. Have them think of strategies to get away. Make it clear your protagonist is scared of someone.

Unreliable Narrators

This is a clear scenario where your narrator is the unsettled protagonist. This is when your main character's story can be skewed in one direction or the other. They can outright lie. You can lie to your audience and plant the truth along the way, where you can find it when you look for the real evidence.

Unsettled protagonists who don't know what is real or fake anymore are unstable. In some stories, you can blur the lines between reality and fantasy to heighten suspense and fear. What your narrator sees is not necessarily what everyone else sees and hears.

We are already biased when we tell our stories, but this type of narrator is a bit more intense than that. Do we even know who they are? That's the real question. You can establish they are liars. And maybe, like Atomic Blonde, you wink at the audience with the last phrase of the movie "I'm glad I was convincing" (looking the audience in the eye). Establish that they sometimes embellish the truth, or there are things they can't say.

Omitting information is lying by omission, but it works here. Maybe you don't have it all. Perhaps, parts of the story don't add up based on what you have. The reader will pick up on all that. You may even have our narrator sidestep questions about themselves. What you don't say speaks volumes, too.

Motivations being clear as mud make readers unsettled. In this case, your narrator can be clear as mud when written right. The reader wants to understand them, so they read on and continue trying to make sense of the motives. Eventually, they might come to the conclusion their narrator lied to their face.

Is your narrator playing dumb? It's possible. Make them smarter than they seem. Reveal this intelligence slowly. Where The Crawdads Sing does this by making our character seem innocent when she isn't. The evidence is all there, but you are not looking for it because she's playing dumb.

Courtesy of frontrowcentre.com

Secondary characters can catch your narrator in their lies. If the secondary character mentions that our narrator did something way back when and the narrator tries to brush them off it sends a message. You can see this in Atomic Blonde with David Percival.

Add some unpredictable actions into the mix. Put the character of our narrator in question. Make readers question why someone would do something after saying what they have and doing what they have. Make the reader think.

Narrators don't all have to be evil. Maybe they have memory gaps, can't tell fantasy from reality, are going senile, going insane, traumatized, struggling, trying not to spill family dirt, or justifying their perspective in an event. They are telling what they perceive as the truth. This means not all unreliable narrators are villains.

Lastly, make it believable and not too far out in left field. Based on the sanity level of the character, what are they likely to do when they act out? What do their struggles compel them to do? Keep it credible. An unhinged character will go farther than a straight-laced high schooler.

The Uncanny In Writing

Uncanny things are familiar, but off somehow. It's wrong and you might not be able to put your finger on why. You can use this to create an unsettling atmosphere.

Deja Vu is a repeated event. Take that and change the repeated event endings up. If the reader asks "did I see this before?" you succeeded.

Liminal spaces are transitional spaces. Think in between places emotionally and physically. When trapped here it feels wrong because you need to move on. Put fewer people where there should be more people or the reverse to make something feel off. You can also make a place a simulation.

Dopplegangers, exact doubles of other people, can create uncanny very easily. Simulacrum look or behave like an image. an example of this is in Dr. Who, where store dummies move. Put this in and you'll scare someone.

Direct communication can be uncanny. Who knew? Have a character speak their mind with dark thoughts. It can create atmosphere.

These are all techniques that don't always stray in the horror direction. Try it sometime.

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