My Lady's Choosing - a review

 I found a book at Dollar Tree. It is a choose-your-own-adventure, only it is a romance! This is my review after I have gone through every possibility in the storyline. Onward!

Courtesy of Pinterest

This book does not take itself seriously. This book is, from the character descriptions alone, hilarious. They took four main types of romances and put the stereotypes and common plots in every category. The humor here is amazing. This should not be treated like a serious drama. This is a reading-slump-breaker and an "I don't want a serious plot" book. It's an easy, light read purely for fun and good laughs, though I wouldn't call it pure in content or read it in public. 

To talk about the greatness of this novel, I need to talk about everything you can do in it. Spoilers are here. If you want to experience it first, stop and come back. I'll wait. This book is so much fun I'd save this page and come back if I were you. I'm not kidding. Don't spoil this. 

Now that all the people who didn't read it left (cough cough, last chance to not spoil it, cough cough) we move on. 

Your choices

What are the choices? You are a regency lady of 28 years who needs a man or you become an old maid. Your choices on a large scale are a hunky Highlander humanitarian, a bad boy who can't keep his shirt buttoned up, a trip to Egypt with your best and only friend (that can become sapphic), and a witty suitor. Yep, they put all the stereotypes of romance novels in. 

Your first choice can lead to an ending, where you run away from the woman you work for. You then sell yourself and die of syphilis within a year. Oops. That's the first ending you can hit. The only other choice is to go to a party with your awful employer. Because you have no prospects until you do this. 

To get to Lord Craven (bad boy shirtless) and Lady Evangeline (Egypt) you have to choose between Highlander (Mac) or Witty Suitor (Benedict) first. The bad boy, gothic man is a choice you make after one of the suitors doesn't shake out. Lady Evangeline (Egypt trip) is a choice you can make after you receive a letter from Lady Evangeline inviting you to Egypt or you see her in person. You can't directly choose these from the start. Warning on Egypt, though. If you don't want lesbian romance but still want to find out who you can romance there, I'd snub Lady Evangeline at every turn.

When I say the main leads are not all the options I mean it. You can find bonus romances all over the place. Ollie, your long-lost love turned spy, is an option in the Highlander storyline. You can marry the postman if you flee from Lord Craven or choose the Vicar (not kidding, you can!). You can marry Kabal the museum director in Egypt or Fabien. You don't just have the main leads. Try the alternates out, too. This is the one reason I'd say you should still try Egypt.  

Warnings

When this book says, paraphrased, you can get it on or get answers, it really means that you'll get both either way. Sorry, this book isn't Pureflix. If you are reading my review to see if it is a sexless romance, let me tell you honestly - it isn't. There is sex no matter what you choose. Sex is also written to be comedic in this case. It is hilariously written and does not take itself seriously in any way. I have yet to find the word "penis" or "vagina" anywhere in the book as I read it. It is all euphemisms for those biological areas, all innuendo. 

Lesbian romance isn't everyone's cup of tea. It is not my cup of tea, to be completely honest. You do not have to go to Egypt at all if you don't want to, but here is how you can find all the not-lesbian romance in the Egypt section without going on a sapphic adventure with Lady Evangeline by accident. Simply put, turn down going on an adventure with her or help her make up with her ex (still ends up being lesbian kissing, but it's not with your character). Decisions that lead you toward snubbing her will lead you to Kabal and Fabien. Or they take you to other romantic leads in the book if you turn down Kabal and Fabien. It might still be worth going to Egypt for you if you like museum directors and Arabian men with green eyes. 

Overall Thoughts

I am giving this a 4.5 out of 5 stars. Why not 5 stars? I didn't ask for the lesbian bits. It is not my cup of tea. That wasn't for me. That being said (as I did properly read it all to review this book) every word of the novel was well written. I had fun reading it and it kicked my current reading slump out into space. Read this if you are in a reading slump and you'll kick that slump into next week. I loved it. I mapped out every decision to keep track of what I did and didn't do. I did everything. 

Keeping in mind this is primarily making fun of the romance genre, don't take this as a serious drama. They took common plot twists and aspects of every subgenre (paranormal/gothic, regency, sapphic, and highlander-themed), then wrote as many mini-romances as they could. It's cool. I'd pick another one up if I found one, provided the same people wrote it. I think they missed the romantic suspense genre. Maybe next time they could have a choose-your-own romantic suspense if they do it again. I'd read it. 

If you are into only watching Pureflix, sexless romances, a child or under 18, or don't understand satire, please leave this book alone. You have to know and understand satire to enjoy this novel. Please keep this in mind when suggesting this book to anyone. 

Do you want this book? Here is the Amazon link to the book itself! 

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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have four five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page. 

Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.