My Lady's Choosing - a review

 I found a book at Dollar Tree. It is a choose-your-own-adventure, only it is a romance! This is my review after I have gone through every possibility in the storyline. Onward!

Courtesy of Pinterest

This book does not take itself seriously. This book is, from the character descriptions alone, hilarious. They took four main types of romances and put the stereotypes and common plots in every category. The humor here is amazing. This should not be treated like a serious drama. This is a reading-slump-breaker and an "I don't want a serious plot" book. It's an easy, light read purely for fun and good laughs, though I wouldn't call it pure in content or read it in public. 

To talk about the greatness of this novel, I need to talk about everything you can do in it. Spoilers are here. If you want to experience it first, stop and come back. I'll wait. This book is so much fun I'd save this page and come back if I were you. I'm not kidding. Don't spoil this. 

Now that all the people who didn't read it left (cough cough, last chance to not spoil it, cough cough) we move on. 

Your choices

What are the choices? You are a regency lady of 28 years who needs a man or you become an old maid. Your choices on a large scale are a hunky Highlander humanitarian, a bad boy who can't keep his shirt buttoned up, a trip to Egypt with your best and only friend (that can become sapphic), and a witty suitor. Yep, they put all the stereotypes of romance novels in. 

Your first choice can lead to an ending, where you run away from the woman you work for. You then sell yourself and die of syphilis within a year. Oops. That's the first ending you can hit. The only other choice is to go to a party with your awful employer. Because you have no prospects until you do this. 

To get to Lord Craven (bad boy shirtless) and Lady Evangeline (Egypt) you have to choose between Highlander (Mac) or Witty Suitor (Benedict) first. The bad boy, gothic man is a choice you make after one of the suitors doesn't shake out. Lady Evangeline (Egypt trip) is a choice you can make after you receive a letter from Lady Evangeline inviting you to Egypt or you see her in person. You can't directly choose these from the start. Warning on Egypt, though. If you don't want lesbian romance but still want to find out who you can romance there, I'd snub Lady Evangeline at every turn.

When I say the main leads are not all the options I mean it. You can find bonus romances all over the place. Ollie, your long-lost love turned spy, is an option in the Highlander storyline. You can marry the postman if you flee from Lord Craven or choose the Vicar (not kidding, you can!). You can marry Kabal the museum director in Egypt or Fabien. You don't just have the main leads. Try the alternates out, too. This is the one reason I'd say you should still try Egypt.  

Warnings

When this book says, paraphrased, you can get it on or get answers, it really means that you'll get both either way. Sorry, this book isn't Pureflix. If you are reading my review to see if it is a sexless romance, let me tell you honestly - it isn't. There is sex no matter what you choose. Sex is also written to be comedic in this case. It is hilariously written and does not take itself seriously in any way. I have yet to find the word "penis" or "vagina" anywhere in the book as I read it. It is all euphemisms for those biological areas, all innuendo. 

Lesbian romance isn't everyone's cup of tea. It is not my cup of tea, to be completely honest. You do not have to go to Egypt at all if you don't want to, but here is how you can find all the not-lesbian romance in the Egypt section without going on a sapphic adventure with Lady Evangeline by accident. Simply put, turn down going on an adventure with her or help her make up with her ex (still ends up being lesbian kissing, but it's not with your character). Decisions that lead you toward snubbing her will lead you to Kabal and Fabien. Or they take you to other romantic leads in the book if you turn down Kabal and Fabien. It might still be worth going to Egypt for you if you like museum directors and Arabian men with green eyes. 

Overall Thoughts

I am giving this a 4.5 out of 5 stars. Why not 5 stars? I didn't ask for the lesbian bits. It is not my cup of tea. That wasn't for me. That being said (as I did properly read it all to review this book) every word of the novel was well written. I had fun reading it and it kicked my current reading slump out into space. Read this if you are in a reading slump and you'll kick that slump into next week. I loved it. I mapped out every decision to keep track of what I did and didn't do. I did everything. 

Keeping in mind this is primarily making fun of the romance genre, don't take this as a serious drama. They took common plot twists and aspects of every subgenre (paranormal/gothic, regency, sapphic, and highlander-themed), then wrote as many mini-romances as they could. It's cool. I'd pick another one up if I found one, provided the same people wrote it. I think they missed the romantic suspense genre. Maybe next time they could have a choose-your-own romantic suspense if they do it again. I'd read it. 

If you are into only watching Pureflix, sexless romances, a child or under 18, or don't understand satire, please leave this book alone. You have to know and understand satire to enjoy this novel. Please keep this in mind when suggesting this book to anyone. 

Do you want this book? Here is the Amazon link to the book itself! 

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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have four five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page. 

Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.

Do writing routines matter?

I have been thinking about what my writing routine is. The real question is this; do they matter? Let's dive into that. 

Courtesy of Dissolve.com

First, we define a writing routine. A routine is a sequence of actions regularly followed, according to the dictionary (Oxford Languages). By that logic, a writing routine is a sequence of actions you do when you sit down to write. Or stand up at a standing desk to write. Everyone has a different learning style. Everyone writes differently. It doesn't mean you force yourself to sit at your desk for five hours daily. No, that's not what this is. If that works, great, but not all writers worldwide can do that. It is personalized for how your brain works. 

Is it important? Yes, it is. This routine tells your brain you are getting down to business and will write no matter how far away your personal muse is at the time. Whether the muse (your motivation) is practically dead or actively dancing around your desk metaphorically, the routine tells your brain cells to start firing. A routine will kill your writer's block many times over. Now the only question left is "What works for you?"

Personalizing Your Routine

Lately, the Pomodoro method has my brain firing. I also have two part-time jobs that take up my editing and writing time. I fall into the category of a weekly writer. I can't set a few hours aside every day of my life because I have multiple projects going on and I work. For this routine, I carve out at least 3 hours of editing and writing (sometimes just one, other times both) during my week. This lets ideas bloom in my head between writing sessions. No burnout here! The only advice to heed with this one is perhaps having clear goals of what needs to be done, planning a day to write concretely, and having a backup writing day. I try to do one day of editing and one day of writing, never mixing them. Life happens. Have a backup day so you don't skip the writing session on accident. Outlines are suggested.

Daily writers pick up their pen or laptop once daily and block out a period of time to only write. It is suggested that you leave some ideas for the next session before you stop for the day. Also, backup days are necessary when life decides to intervene. When stuck, writing prompts are a great help. 

Writing throughout the day means you do a little at a time, usually when you have time. It's common to either make sure you write for a specific amount of time each day (added up throughout the day, of course) or mark out blocks of time during the day. Unpredictable schedule? No problem. You'll want to avoid editing as you go. Consider marking out time during your day, planning out when you stop and write, just because you can easily skip a session. Some people use dictation tools. 

Binge-writers are like binge-watching. You wait until you have whole days of time and go at it for a long time. You reach your set goal, which is larger than other routines allow, and then don't have to write for a while. It isn't a daily routine, per se, but it works for some people. Don't set goals that set you up for failure and make sure you take care of yourself. Don't overdo this. You might want to go over your ideas and brainstorm every week, lest your novel be forgotten. Writing retreats are great for this type of routine. You can plan out a retreat weekend each month if you so desire to. 

Hybrids of these routines exist. Do you know what works best for you? Great! Go for it. If not, though, you can try out the routines one by one. Hybridize your routine however you need to. Keep in mind how quickly you burn out, how much time you have on your hands, how distracted by life you are, and how much time you need to make progress on your novel or other written works. Writers don't write the same way.

What Routines Prove To Work

I can't go about this blog without mentioning famous writers and their routines. Being a full-time writer is also different from the small authors you see self-publishing (me!). I have two part-time jobs. Steven King and James Patterson only have one. Keep that in mind if you want to try these out. Maybe you don't have time to do these, but maybe you do. 

E. B. White's routine is done amongst the ordinary fuss of life. He doesn't listen to music, but can still go about writing while life happens around him. The idea is this; "A writer who waits for ideal conditions under which to work will die without putting a word on paper."

Haruki Murakami gets up at four am to work for five or six hours. He then runs for ten kilometers and/or swims for fifteen hundred meters. He reads, listens to music, and goes to bed at nine pm. He strongly believes in repetition and keeps this routine going for at least six months of the year. I can't do that. 

Ernest Hemingway writes every morning, stopping after he knows what is going to happen in the next scene. You make yourself wait until the next morning to write and keep the flow of ideas going strong. You don't completely empty yourself. Writer's block is not as common with this man, I'd imagine. 

Henry Miller wrote commandments for writing. I will sum them up. Work on one book at a time and don't think about your other ideas until you are done. Don't work according to mood. You can scrap the routine for one day, but go back the next day. Live life. Write first, life after. 

Jodi Picoult doesn't believe in writing block. She thinks it means you have too much time on your hands because usually, deadlines fix writing blocks quickly. "You can't edit a blank page." You can write and it won't always be great, but you can't edit nothing. 

I only included some of the routines I read about. They all vary. Some will walk on a treadmill (A.J. Jacobs) and write, while others literally rent a hotel room for a writing space only (Maya Angelou). Nathan Englander's advice is turn off your devices, to unplug while you write. Karen Russell suggests enjoying writing badly and making peace with editing or throwing out most of your draft later.

Some of the takeaways from all these routines can be summed up. Physically pushing yourself is worth the effort. Move from your desk and keep your body active. Doing the important stuff (writing) is also a theme you see. The first thing the people do is write, instead of jumping into other activities and fitting it in. Embracing your struggle bus is another theme to think about. Do the hard work of editing. 

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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have four five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page. 

Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.

Sources:

Do You Need a Writing Routine? - The Novel Smithy

The Daily Routines of 12 Famous Writers (jamesclear.com)

Horror Games I could Handle

I can't usually handle much horror, but, these games were really good. I could handle them. If you are anything like me, so can you. Let's review some games. 

Courtesy of Nintendoeverything.com

I'm not going to be playing FNAF (Five Nights At Freddie's) anytime soon, nor am I going to be playing Garten of Banban, Poppy's Playtime, or Bendy and the Ink Machine. I'm not that type of gamer. My husband will watch people play those, but won't watch them with me. The point of saying all this is to point out I'm a cozy, mystery storyline gamer. I'm a Nancy Drew gamer and a farming sim gamer. 

This makes it all the more impressive when I can play and enjoy a game labeled "horror". Not all horror is the same. Some games are just light horror and mostly comedy, like West of Loathing and Shadows Over Loathing. Others are more suspense-based and have a rich storyline that doesn't scare you as much as unsettle you, like Call of the Sea and Dredge. Dredge is a cozy horror if anything. There are also two Nancy Drew games with several jump scares all over, which include Ghost of Thornton Hall and Shadow at the Water's Edge. Those are personal favorites, if you can believe it. 

Dredge and Call of the Sea

Both of these have the same general vibe. I would say light Cthulu vibes would be an accurate description. Lovecraftian horror can go darker than ever, yet, I find these don't go overboard on that element. It is mostly adventure. You explore your environment and find out what happened, and when. 

First, we go into the cozy horror Dredge. You are a fisherman going to an island who needs one. You crash underneath the lighthouse and find an odd village of Greater Marrow and Little Marrow. You fish and upgrade your boat (preferably before you go out to the other island chains, hint hint) and pay off your boat debt. Once done with all that, you are compelled by a collector to go after items in each island chain around the Marrows, all with monsters. Be advised no item is ever easy to find or obtain. When you see it is merely a few lengths away don't just jump into the middle of the basin (another hint - don't learn the hard way!). Something is strange about the way the lighthouse keeper speaks to you and the collector. I urge you to think back on what the lighthouse keeper says to you. You'll find the tone of her words will change in your head when you play through it and finally understand what is going on. 

Courtesy of WCCFtech - Call of the Sea

Call of the Sea is a game of pure adventure and is not an open world. It may look like it, but it isn't. The premise is that you, Norah, are looking for your husband on the island where he came to find a cure for your disease. The island seems to give you a strange boost in health you didn't have before. You come upon letters from your husband and hard puzzles set up just for you. You'll understand why when you finish the game. Be warned the puzzles are hard. Pay attention to what Norah takes notes on to get past all of them. There are six chapters, which are six big puzzles. When taking a break from the game, I'd suggest stopping at the start of a chapter. Some smaller puzzles are "mess around and find out" - no blatant instructions at all. Others have instructions. It is more of a suspense if you ask me. 

Loathing

West of Loathing and Shadows Over Loathing are mostly comedic, with some horror elements. You are a stick figure exploring the area of Loathing and it is hilarious. I'm going to leave two videos, one of each game, to explain the games. They have one plotline each, but many many side quests. 

West of Loathing is a western. Shadows Over Loathing is themed on time travel issues and a shop that deals with cursed objects (run by your uncle who is missing). Your stick figure can stupid walk, obtain XP, fight enemies, and earn money to get better stuff. It is also a puzzle game and takes some brain power to complete. It's fun. You should try it. They are infinitely replayable.

Nancy Drew

Ghost of Thornton Hall and Shadow at Water's Edge are Nancy Drew Herinteractive games. In Thornton Hall you are looking for a missing woman who disappeared on a haunted property. In Water's Edge you are "on vacation", but not really. You stay in Japan and discover a ghost haunting is being faked. Nancy is never on vacation for real. She doesn't know how to relax. 

Both games are light horror in some ways and mysteries in others. It is hinted that Charlotte from Thornton Hall is not fake. I talk about that in this blog. Play before reading the linked blog. It contains spoilers. You can find out for yourself. Both games are puzzle-heavy and have jump scares built into the game all the time. Thornton has so many you can get an achievement for finding them all. Happy ghost hunting!

Courtesy of YouTube.com

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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have four five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page. 

Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.

DnD basics - beginner edition

I may or may not be jumping into a DnD group sometime soon. So, I need to figure some things out. Learn with me!

Courtesy of adventureswoodworks.com

Let's get the elephant out of the room first. How many of you have heard that DnD (dungeons and dragons) is of the devil? I can't see you, but I bet at least one of you did. Let's clear the air. I am a Christian and know many people (also Christians) who play. This is a game of storytelling, with one person being the narrator who makes the rules (sort of) and writes the story. The other characters improvise their storylines.  At the end of the game, an epic story has been told (provided the group is functional). The dice are the chances of success. For example, if you throw a high number you can probably do what you want to with great success. If you throw a low number you probably took some damage in some form. It is not of the devil. Now that we have gotten that out of the way, let's dive into the game basics. 

Starting

The ideal number of people for this game seems to be four to five players (unless you have some seriously experienced DnD players and no beginners). One of you is the Dungeon Master or DM (for short). They control the rules, the narration, and any non-player characters (NPCs). It is best to get a good grip on how to play before DMing. 

One of the ways to play is over Discord, like my first time (wasn't a full quest, but still fun). Many virtual spaces exist for the purpose of players being spread out everywhere. It would be great if you could gather in person to do this, though. It works a bit better when you aren't in the middle of a pandemic and no one has to deal with internet trouble. Gaming stores also hold events that can give you a taste of the game. 

Rule number one is "have fun". If you are not having fun why are you playing? If you won't do a certain action say so and set that line at the start of the game. A good DM will then never cross that line. This is supposed to be a fun adventure. You're creating a story you can tell (and some people will legitimately use the quests as bedtime stories ). Have fun. 

"Yes and..." is an improv rule that applies to this game. This game is an improv session. Don't shut something down right away. The fun of the game is creating the character arcs and playing with the possibilities. Some use the "rule of cool", which is literally "Can we do this? It sounds awesome." It depends on your DM for that rule. I just know that one of my friends uses it. 

Not all campaigns and quests have to take months. In fact, you can find campaigns that take hours. There are so many varieties out there you can take as long as you want to complete your quest. It doesn't have to take months or a year. You choose how long it takes. This is a turn-based game, thus you go around the table taking actions for as long as you choose to play. 

The Dice and Supplies

To play you need a set of polyhedral dice, a journal or some form of paper, and a writing implement. Many have tabletop sets, but you don't need that to play the game. You can get basic sets that create a world for you and guide you on DMing. Some sets even have the dice and premade characters ready for you, as well as rulebooks. You can get books to create your own campaigns, too. 

The dice are for success and failure of actions. As stated before, you want a high roll on actions you want to take and low rolls on damage. You take damage when you attack and fail. Your DM will narrate accordingly. 

Making A Character

Don't know how to make one? Try pre-generated ones first. You can improve them on the DnD Beyond website later. There are apps to create characters and resources all over the DnD websites. If confused ask and find the answer on those sites (or have a friend explain it). 

Character sheets can be found on the internet for your use, or in the DnD books readily available for purchase. You can create your character backstory based on the world you are playing in. There is also no shame in reusing characters and adjusting their backstory as needed. I will be reusing a character when we begin our new group. 

The DM creates the world you are playing in. You can find them premade and ready, or let the creativity flow and make your own. Your DM will inform you of the rules of that world. You make your backstory accordingly. 

In creating your character you choose a race, choose a class, set ability scores, choose equipment, and set your backstory. Make sure your DM knows your backstory and can work that into the narrative. 

Basics

Many rule books and game variations exist. That aside, these rules can help you get started. 

Your character takes actions, whether they be combat or not. You also roll for the initiative using a D20  (which adds stats, too). This number determines order of combat. HP is hit points. If you are a gamer you didn't need me to say that, but it is for the nongamers reading that I define it. Armor Class (AC) is how hard a character is to hit in combat (on your character sheet).  Leveling is determined by the DM and will be adjusted when needed. 

Remember that this is a team sport. No one person is the hero of the story. Everyone should be sharing the spotlight. If you are uncomfortable with role-playing start by saying "My character does ___ and says _____". Go from there. This is a space that should be safe. Be encouraging. 

DMs should remember to be prepared. Think of many possibilities before you get to the session and you won't get tripped up when someone zigs and doesn't zag. Be flexible. Players improving might decide to do something you didn't expect. Creativity is to be rewarded here. Sometimes the "rule of cool" is all you need in the moment. Make sure you set the expectations so everyone knows the tone of the campaign. There are tools at your disposal to play a game online or get help on world-building. 

You know that videogame where your character took notes on their own? You only had to look up the journal tab? Forget that logic. You are the journal tab. You have to take notes. Some DMs leave clues for you to pick up. If you don't think you'll remember what you did last session take a journal and take notes. According to one of my coworkers, this makes a DM happy. 

Check out my sources for more information. I only summed up what they said. There are so many different game components you might need to do more research. 

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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have four five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page. 

Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.

Sources:

D&D beginners’ guide: how to get started with Dungeons & Dragons - Polygon

How to Play Dungeons and Dragons: A Beginner's Guide - IGN

How to Play | Dungeons & Dragons (wizards.com)

A Beginner’s Guide To Dungeons and Dragons - Well Played Board Game Café

How to play Dungeons and Dragons for beginners (wargamer.com) (wellplayedasheville.com)