Media that features stay-at-home dads is out there, from Johnny Test to The Incredibles. There is a movie titled Mr. Mom, as well. Is there still a stigma, or is it becoming more common as we work from home?
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| Courtesy of 123moviesweb.net |
Stay-at-home parents are not uncommon, especially female parents. What we find in Johnny Test is that his dad is doing all the cooking, cleaning, and keeping track (if he even can after all they do) of the kids. He has to make sure the twins don't blow up the house and Johnny doesn't just let them do whatever they want to him (and we know how that works out). For those that don't know the TV show Johnny Test, it doesn't work out well and everything turns to chaos. Also, the mother comes home in a suit and skirt as if she's some sort of lawyer. Realizing that Johnny's dad is a stay-at-home made me wonder just how much representation stay-at-home fathers get in media. Instead, my research led me into the stigmas of being a stay-at-home dad.
Apparently, people have not gotten past the idea that men can be full-time caregivers. Lining up playdates with groups of other people gets real awkward. You may have to ask ten people to get three or fewer yes answers. Fellow men doing this struggle have trouble finding each other because they aren't all that common. Having a wife that works a job that constantly travels is one reason that men sometimes do this. They take on caregiving full-time to give their wives the freedom to do their jobs well. The reversal of the 1950s idea that men work and women take on the children is uncommon, making the Johnny Test and Mr. Mom situation slightly weird to some people. The fact of the matter is simply this; you can't always have a nanny. When fathers do find each other doing the Mr. Mom, they all get together and have fun in a group.
When it does appear in media
We see it in Johnny Test, Mr. Mom, and The Incredibles. Where is it also? Anime. Unfortunately, it is sometimes used for comedic relief more than anything. The media pokes fun at men staying home or calls it babysitting. The masculine standard does not often include housework - even today. Now that I think of it, even putting Mr. Test in an apron served as comic relief. All he did was yell, stress, clean the floor, tell the girls not to burn the house down, and make bad meatloaf and/or dinner. He was not portrayed as manly and let his kids walk all over him. Mr. Incredible is different, obviously, because of the superhero he is. Mr. Mom was a comedy movie in the first place, yet it didn't treat the dad like he was any less of a man. Representation is all over the place in interpretation. The Shining features a stay-at-home dad, but given the plot, I'd say that wasn't a great example to follow.
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| Courtesy of Toonzone |
Full House was a situation of a widower. This is not what I'm talking about. I am talking about the choice (without the death of a loved one) to stay home to care for the kids so your spouse can work with flexibility. This can also be the choice to work remotely to stay-at-home parent. Being widowed changes every aspect of your life and the living spouse often has to work to make ends meet, making them unlikely stay-at-homes unless they work remotely.
Film and TV
Aside from cartoons, we have other representations in media. The fact is that this is not common in most cartoons and is more common in other media forms, negative and positive impressions. Here are a few examples of good portrayals in film and TV shows.
In Army Wives we see one character, Roland Burton, care for his kids while his wife goes into the military. This is not bungled to make him look bad. Instead, they show him being a great father with a strong marriage.
Again, Mr. Mom is a film that truly shows how hard it is to parent full time. Because the main character Jack has been laid off, his wife ends up working long hours away from home advertising tuna. This is one movie that shows men can be great caregivers full time, even if it wasn't going to be a forever position (because he gets his job back).
Conclusion
The problem here is that most cases in media are single parents or widowers, which doesn't fit the standard I put for Stay-at-home for this blog. Full House and several others are cases of a spouse dying, leaving no other choice. The 1950s standard of women caring for the kids while men work has not left the building. Sometimes unemployment leaves men at home with kids or they work remotely from home. It's all wrapped up in gender policing and masculinity. While some men do choose to actively care for their kids full time, it isn't supported by others around them all the time. Representation needs to change for the better so men who choose to do so can stay home with their kids. We need to break that 1950s standard to make it acceptable for male child care.
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Courtesy of insider.com
Let's break out of the 1950s - for the sake of men and women! |
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/06/17/619557786/stay-at-home-dads-still-struggle-with-diapers-drool-stigma-and-isolation
https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2014/06/05/growing-number-of-dads-home-with-the-kids/
https://johnnytest.fandom.com/wiki/Hugh_Test#:~:text=Hugh%20Test%20is%20the%20uptight,a%20character%20in%20Johnny%20Test.
https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/176187/the-rarity-of-the-stay-at-home-father-in-media
4 Films and TV Shows That Portray Fatherhood In A Positive Light - HelloFlo
Our Favorite Stay-at-Home Dads in Movies (tvovermind.com)
Stay at Home Dads | Psychology Today
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