Extroverts get energy from social life. Introverts gain energy from time alone. This is important to note for this theory. Why's that? Because, to make a long story short, society pushes social activity on us at a young age. Introverts need time to recharge, but most public social activities don't allow that.
There is nothing wrong with community, a social life, and friends. Human beings are made to have community and social life. Hermitting and isolation for long periods of time is not a good thing. I want to be sure you understand this before we go on.
Public Education
I'm betting that introverts will understand exactly what I mean. I know some of you won't, and that's okay. With public education comes a social life, in a classroom, where there is no time to be away from your classmates at all. The only exception might be the bathroom, but I don't even think you're alone there. Point being, there is no avoiding human contact. Everyone knows where to find you.
You'll notice I'm not talking about private schools. That is because they don't take government money and can do, for the most part, what they want. They can make exceptions in their school day for specific students, in some cases. Public education is one size fits all, while private costs far more money and can tailor the curriculum to students. Private schools don't represent most of society.
Public school curriculum also pushes social contact and verbal participation. It is good to know how to speak well, yes, but it makes life hard for introverts when they get shoved into a situation where they are not comfortable speaking in a class discussion or doing a speech. Class presentations verbally, reading reports in front of your peers, and having to work with people in groups is not what introverts are strong at. I'm not saying we shouldn't try to improve ourselves, we should, but being shoved into the situation because it is 10 percent of your grade is not the best way to do so.
Another aspect of this is the constant social contact, but not only that, but the peer pressure to be like everyone else. You learn very quickly that you are not like everyone else who is thriving socially. Introverted tendencies, like lack of eye contact and speaking less often, tend to get a person labeled as "shy". Or they think you are crushing on (or liking) everyone. (It's happened.) If you don't want attention you are also in the wrong place. Rule of thumb for gossip is this; the less you say the more that gets assumed. I'm not saying school is awful all the time, but what I am saying is that introverted tendencies combined with no recharge time can lead to a less-than-fun social life. It may result in developing a thick skin and holding people at arm's length.
Working World
Being an adult means you have, ideally, developed into someone with a good balance of alone time and social life. Not always true, but that's the hope. That being said, work saps some energy from us when it requires more social contact. Small talk about your weekend, when you are just trying to do your job and leave, is not the most fun. If you want to socialize there is no dread. If they approached you while you were trying to conserve your social energy you face a challenge. Extroverted society puts a high value on conversation, no matter the content depth, so it is not widely understood that small talk wastes social energy, but there is no polite way to say "go away, you're wasting my energy".
Also, when you are attempting to have recharge time during the week you don't take on more shifts. Coworkers may try to ask you if you can work this day or that day, but if you say what you are truly doing that day (chilling alone) they may assume that means you aren't busy. You are, you're just recharging-busy. So you say you have plans and don't elaborate. This is because recharging is not entirely understood by some of the human population. My main point still stands; we live in an extroverted society that doesn't often consider the need to recharge alone.
Networking, the act of socializing to make work connections, is hard for us. We are told to go out there and converse for the sake of getting work and moving up in the world. We are also exhausted by the small talk and shallow conversations by the end of the networking event. Most introverts listen more than speak, taking in the world like a sponge. That sometimes makes us invisible at parties with nothing, except conversation, to engage in. It also makes us look like we aren't trying or aren't leaders, which isn't true. Leadership doesn't mean you are the image of the company. It means you lead others, no matter how loudly or softly you speak.
To Put It All Together
So, this was a lot. I know. It's kind of a big topic. I felt passion for this because I feel the impact of extrovert-focused society. There is nothing wrong with introversion or extroversion. God built us for His glory and wired us how we are for a reason. The main points I want to drive home are that introvert recharging needs are often ignored by our society and that our lower social energy needs to be considered by the society around us. Society is built for extroverts from the education system up. Love your fellow introverts and keep all of this in mind.
Sources:
Photos:
Meme Guys
Bored Panda
Huff Post
No comments:
Post a Comment