Reading People - Tips for the Curious

People reveal their thoughts through body language, voice tone, eye contact, facial expressions, and behavior patterns. That being said, reading some people is like reading a rock, while others are a completely open book. Today I'm going to give you curious people-watchers some tips on what to look for when observing your friends, coworkers, strangers, dates, and family members.

Your first step is to remain objective. No preconceived notions about them, just the facts that you are seeing right in front of you. Use logic, though it should be known logic won't tell you everything. This also requires non-linear thinking skills. Pure logical deduction and Sherlock-ing won't get you all the way there. It gets you close, but not quite there. Observe comfortably and don't over-analyze.

Body Language

How are they dressed? For instance, did they put a lot of effort into appearance or just roll out of bed with their hair still a mess. This may tell you some about income, too, if you're curious about that. Are they wearing any symbols, religious or otherwise? That tells you a lot, too. Amount of clothing shows comfort level. Examples being, if a woman runner isn't ashamed of her mid-section and legs and is running in the middle of the city. Say a second woman runner is all covered up from leggings to breathable shirt behind the first woman. What you are comfortable wearing and showing off reveals quite a lot about your comfort zone and confidence.

Posture is another main point. If they hold their head high and walk with secure footing that's confidence, or a facade of it if they are faking it. A less dominant pose may mean they are less confident, or just less dominant in personality. Ego is revealed here, too. If they walk like they are the Queen or an action star they probably have a large ego. 

Physical movement is part of this, too. Leaning is usually reserved for those we like or are close to. Your person may lean toward someone, or look toward them when a joke is told, or both. You close yourself off when you cross arms and legs, like you are defending yourself. If you do cross your legs naturally, you point your toe toward the one you are most at ease with. Hiding hands, in laps, pockets, and behind backs shows they may be hiding something. Or they aren't comforable. It depends on the person, frankly. Biting nails and lips is an anxiety-related thing (not that they have a disorder, though it is possible, but that they are nervous in some form). It eases tension, even if it isn't healthy to do physically. 

Facial expressions are another thing. Clenching is a sign of tension. Any facial expression we use often can be somewhat etched on faces, to varying degrees. Also, the changes in facial expressions and reaction should be noted. For one thing, do they mirror your emotions? If they do they are extremely aware of them. Can you not read their emotions well? They may have a resting face (some have a resting face that is a smile, others a flat face betraying no emotion). It gets harder to read resting faces, but the eyes are the window to the soul. If their eyes betray nothing you may have to let them warm up to you.

Intuition

Intuition, or your guts feelings, are hard to explain. They aren't logic. It is the act of directly and immediately perceiving a fact without logical evidence. Some people don't function well intuitively, while others do. Most that do this well are introverted in personality.

That being said, when reading people you sometimes just know that something is off about them, or that something is great about them. If it feels wrong, don't ignore it. If it feels right, don't ignore it. I'll make this short and sweet. Don't ignore a gut feeling about someone. It may save their or your life, in some cases. In other cases, you may just find that they are destined to be your close friend or soul mate. Intuition can sometimes tell us if an individual can or can't be trusted.

It would, however, be wise to think before you act on anything intuitive. We can be wrong some of the time. We are not perfect. All the same, don't ignore it.

Emotional Energy

If you sense emotional energy already you are probably an introvert. To explain it simply, people give off energy based on their emotions. Being able to sense emotions helps when it comes to reading people as a whole. This has to do with empathy, too. 

I have said before that the eyes are the window to the soul, and I am saying it again here. Look in people's eyes, see how they respond to everything. It will tell you most of what you need to know, if you are good at sensing people's energy. It takes practice to do. It truly reveals personality, but only if they are not masking their emotions. It is possible to mask emotions.

Physical touch is at play here, too. There is physical energy given off in every touch. Is it comfortable? Warm? Does it make you want to run into the next room and lock the door? That's physical energy. Limp handshakes, firm handshakes, shaky hands, all signs of personality and who someone is. 

Vocal tone is a good indicator of personality, too. How loud they are speaking, softness or hardness of voice, and speech patterns are important. It can also be telling on what they care about. What they talk about is equally important.

Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-freedom/201402/three-techniques-read-people
https://synctuition.com/blog/science-supporting-intuitive-thinking/
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Psychology Today

An extroverted society - making introverts adjust from grade school on

Today I'm going to do something a little bit different. I have a personal theory. Our society is mostly extrovert-focused in my perspective. I sometimes have trouble fitting into it, as an introvert, because of this. I'm going to break it down for you.

Extroverts get energy from social life. Introverts gain energy from time alone. This is important to note for this theory. Why's that? Because, to make a long story short, society pushes social activity on us at a young age. Introverts need time to recharge, but most public social activities don't allow that.

There is nothing wrong with community, a social life, and friends. Human beings are made to have community and social life. Hermitting and isolation for long periods of time is not a good thing. I want to be sure you understand this before we go on.

Public Education

I'm betting that introverts will understand exactly what I mean. I know some of you won't, and that's okay. With public education comes a social life, in a classroom, where there is no time to be away from your classmates at all. The only exception might be the bathroom, but I don't even think you're alone there. Point being, there is no avoiding human contact. Everyone knows where to find you.

You'll notice I'm not talking about private schools. That is because they don't take government money and can do, for the most part, what they want. They can make exceptions in their school day for specific students, in some cases. Public education is one size fits all, while private costs far more money and can tailor the curriculum to students. Private schools don't represent most of society. 

Public school curriculum also pushes social contact and verbal participation. It is good to know how to speak well, yes, but it makes life hard for introverts when they get shoved into a situation where they are not comfortable speaking in a class discussion or doing a speech. Class presentations verbally, reading reports in front of your peers, and having to work with people in groups is not what introverts are strong at. I'm not saying we shouldn't try to improve ourselves, we should, but being shoved into the situation because it is 10 percent of your grade is not the best way to do so. 

Another aspect of this is the constant social contact, but not only that, but the peer pressure to be like everyone else. You learn very quickly that you are not like everyone else who is thriving socially. Introverted tendencies, like lack of eye contact and speaking less often, tend to get a person labeled as "shy". Or they think you are crushing on (or liking) everyone. (It's happened.) If you don't want attention you are also in the wrong place. Rule of thumb for gossip is this; the less you say the more that gets assumed. I'm not saying school is awful all the time, but what I am saying is that introverted tendencies combined with no recharge time can lead to a less-than-fun social life. It may result in developing a thick skin and holding people at arm's length.

Working World

Being an adult means you have, ideally, developed into someone with a good balance of alone time and social life. Not always true, but that's the hope. That being said, work saps some energy from us when it requires more social contact. Small talk about your weekend, when you are just trying to do your job and leave, is not the most fun. If you want to socialize there is no dread. If they approached you while you were trying to conserve your social energy you face a challenge. Extroverted society puts a high value on conversation, no matter the content depth, so it is not widely understood that small talk wastes social energy, but there is no polite way to say "go away, you're wasting my energy".

Also, when you are attempting to have recharge time during the week you don't take on more shifts. Coworkers may try to ask you if you can work this day or that day, but if you say what you are truly doing that day (chilling alone) they may assume that means you aren't busy. You are, you're just recharging-busy. So you say you have plans and don't elaborate. This is because recharging is not entirely understood by some of the human population. My main point still stands; we live in an extroverted society that doesn't often consider the need to recharge alone.

Networking, the act of socializing to make work connections, is hard for us. We are told to go out there and converse for the sake of getting work and moving up in the world. We are also exhausted by the small talk and shallow conversations by the end of the networking event. Most introverts listen more than speak, taking in the world like a sponge. That sometimes makes us invisible at parties with nothing, except conversation, to engage in. It also makes us look like we aren't trying or aren't leaders, which isn't true. Leadership doesn't mean you are the image of the company. It means you lead others, no matter how loudly or softly you speak. 

To Put It All Together

So, this was a lot. I know. It's kind of a big topic. I felt passion for this because I feel the impact of extrovert-focused society. There is nothing wrong with introversion or extroversion. God built us for His glory and wired us how we are for a reason. The main points I want to drive home are that introvert recharging needs are often ignored by our society and that our lower social energy needs to be considered by the society around us. Society is built for extroverts from the education system up. Love your fellow introverts and keep all of this in mind. 

Sources:

http://affinitymagazine.us/2017/07/09/reasons-why-public-school-is-not-fit-for-introverts/

https://vulcanpost.com/592915/introvert-work-office-problems/

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Huff Post

Women's baseball and Wrigley Field

Most baseball movie fans have probably seen A League of  Their Own. In that movie, we see the war take most of the men from the sport of baseball and send them to fight the Nazis. Just how factual is this movie? Here's the scoop on the real facts. Spoiler alert: Harvey Bars was actually Wrigley Gum.

These women are in the Baseball Hall of Fame. They were in the All American Girls Professional Baseball League (AAGPBL). The acronym changed a bit, but we know it most for the first one, for the most part. It began in 1943 and lasted 12 years. Philip K. Wrigley, Chicago Cubs owner, created it to keep baseball in business as men went off to war and less male athletes were around to play. Big names went off to war because men were encouraged to be men and fight Hitler. Thus, these women played at Wrigley Field. Big names in Baseball managed the teams. Hall of Famer Max Carey was president of the league.

The teams themselves included Fort Wayne Daisies, Minneapolis Millerettes, Kalamazoo Lassies, Muskegon Lassies, Rockford Peaches, Grand Rapids Chicks, Peoria Redwings, Milwaukee Chicks, Chicago Coleens, and several others.  The names themselves tell you how seriously the men who created them took this (this statement is to be taken sarcastically). For those who dislike minor league park names that aren't real strong, these women had far more to complain about.

Lifestyle Within the League

For all the masculinity that sports brought, the leaders wanted the feminine women in this league and

declared they didn't want tough, pants-wearing women here, according to Carey. No slacks or you use the servant's elevator, and charm school throughout the evenings. Beauty salons and beauty kits were pushed at them. They were taught to be ladies, as well as athletes. This push wouldn't fly now, not with the sportswomen of today.

The rules of conduct were as follows:

1. No slacks/shorts/uniform in the stands

2. lipstick always, groomed hair (preferred long)

3. no language/smoking/drinking

4.chaperones approved social engagements

5.no jewelry

6. chaperone approves living quarters and eating out

7. tell whereabouts and home phone

8.team meal time

9. skirts no shorter then 6 inches above knee

10 - 15 are generally things about equipment, passes, and transportation that probably apply to all of baseball then.

Despite this, fans didn't come to see legs. They came to see talent, and it lasted as long as it did because these were good athletes, not because they wore skirts on the field. It drew bigger and bigger crowds, thus lasting longer than the war itself. It gave 600-some women a chance to play baseball for a living and be more than just homemakers. 

Why It Ended

When games began to be televised, it spelled the end of this league. The men returning from war were probably part of it, too. After the war women were supposed to return to the kitchen and the home, so this league met resistance after the war. With more entertainment and money to spend on more than the war effort, people found more sources of fun, thus giving the league competition. Also, the lack of promotion of these games didn't help them stay afloat. 

Sources:

https://baseballhall.org/discover-more/stories/baseball-history/league-of-women-ballplayers

https://www.aagpbl.org/history/league-history

https://www.britannica.com/topic/All-American-Girls-Professional-Baseball-League

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/65094/read-1943-rules-conduct-womens-baseball

Washington Post

Today Show

Nancy Drew's Love Interests

Nancy Drew has several TV shows, book series, and games under her belt. Did you know that different series have different love interests? Some promote the "Francy" relationship, while others only show Ned. There is even one book series where she dates multiple men. Let's dive in!

For those of you who don't know your Nancy Drew basics, here's a basic overview. Ned Nickerson and Nancy Drew have been together in the books since the beginning. Frank Hardy has had a crush on Nancy throughout the Supermysteries, and this idea is known as "Francy". These two ideas have come up over and over again throughout Nancy's history.

Ned Nickerson

Ted Nickerson and Nancy 

Starting from the original books, we have Ned Nickerson, or as the Bonita Granville Nancy Drew movies call him, Ted Nickerson. He is established as only a close, consistent friend in the original books, but later in the series becomes jealous of the young men around her. With the 1980s Supermysteries comes the idea that there is drama between them, and for the same reason the original Ned got jealous - other admirers. We get into Herinteractive Games to find that same Supermystery drama, slightly toned down, but still present. The latest game, Midnight in Salem, drew out that drama more than the last 32 games before it (because Ned asks Nancy if Frank is there). One strange exception to these series and games are the On Campus book series, where Ned isn't with Nancy but is in the series as her ex-boyfriend. It was a canceled series where Nancy ended the relationship after book two because of a fan poll from the publishers. (It was not aimed at young readers.) In the CW series she is with Ned, but unlike any of these Neds, he was a felon and goes by Nick.

Their relationship in the original books involves casual gatherings, solving mysteries together, and is light-hearted to attract young readers. He isn't in all the original books, but shows up more often later in the series. With the Supermysteries we see him sometimes. They usually have to work out something in their relationship when he is there, but they are definitely together. Going into Herinteractive Games shows that these two have some communication problems. If you play through all the games up to the latest one, you can tell they are trying to consistently work things out, much like the Supermysteries, but both have busy lives and dreams. The On Campus series, on the other hand, was all jealousy and no working out the relationship because Ned was too controlling.

On Campus

book 2 On Campus

So, as some Nancy Drew fans know, this one was not written for younger readers, but for adult readers. As a direct result of a 1-800 number poll, they split up the classic Ned and Nancy pair in favor of her going out with other men who are less controlling than Ned. Whether you like that or not is entirely up to you. Given that it was canceled in 1997, when it had started in 1995, tells me it wasn't all that popular. 

Her love interests for this one include Peter Goodwin, reporter Jake Collins, and a guy named Terry who looks like Ned. All of them end in breakups, but Jake stays through most of the series. One word to describe their relationships would be drama, lots of it! See the second source in the source list to get more details, because it is far too complicated to explain in one paragraph.

Francy

1980s Supermystery
2 - a crime for
Christmas

The Supermysteries TV Show and books (both the first and second series) play with this idea all the time. Frank and Nancy are so similar in lifestyle that it's so easy to imagine them together. Personally, I eat this idea up with a spoon. It creates drama in the books and the games. With this idea comes relationship issues, easily illustrated by the 1980s Supermysteries series. Frank and Nancy kiss during a snowed-in situation - and Ned walks in on them -at some point in that series. You can just imagine how much damage this does to the whole Ned relationship. 

Frank in the games has always been super supportive and worries about Nancy, much like Ned, but ends up working with her during mysteries far more often than Ned. In the 1970s TV show, if there are Nancy and Frank around the same area they work together on it (and obviously Joe and Frank come together, so Joe's there, too). He's shown as a bit shy in the second series of Supermystery books (which combine Girl Detective and Undercover Brothers). Frank is also a little more understanding in some of the games when it comes to Nancy's busy life, as well as eager to see her every time they meet or call. It makes some people think they could work out better than Nancy and Ned (Nedcy is the name some use for short). 

Fan opinions

Like any fandom out there, Nancy Drew fans have shipped everything under the sun. Some say Joe and Nancy should get together, while others are full-on Francy, full-on Nedcy, or even Deirdre Shannon and Nancy shipping. With the game fans comes the idea that, since Ned and Nancy are so bad at communication, Ned is kind of clingy, or Nancy doesn't make time for Ned that they need to break up and just be friends. Team Single has a legitimate voice in the fandom. 

What do you think? Comment below and let me know!

Sources:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nancy_Drew_on_Campus

http://nancydrew.info/ndoncampus.htm

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