Tuesday, December 31, 2019

men's expectations- a brief timeline of men's lives

Men have expectations put on them, just like women do. Today I'm going to break down what was expected of them from the 1800s to now. (If you want to see what was expected of women, read my previous post.)




Men have gone to war, gone to work, enforced the law, and done the dirty work in society (by dirty work I mean manual labor) for centuries. Unlike women, they were generally expected to be out making the money and fighting wars for most of their lives. Without further ado, let's go into the specifics of what was expected when.

What's Expected and When

1800s -  No surprise here, they were the breadwinners. To be a breadwinner here means to be working a trade or factory job, being a pastor, or being a civic leader in the community. They were responsible for their families. When it came time to fight the elements or the civil war, you fought for your family and their survival. This was a tough time to be anyone, but especially so if you were male and had to protect your household. 

WWI propaganda poster
1900s - Wartime, World War I, was in swing, so men were sent off to war while women took their place on the assembly line. Strangely, men were considered less moral than women. Even though men dominated ministry positions, that didn't make a dent in the idea men were less moral. Given the women's suffrage movement was beginning, the new movement was probably the cause for that. 

1920s/1930s -  After the wars passed, the family home settled into what it had been, which was men leading the family and general patriarchy. They came home to the families that missed them. Factories were in full bloom. Men were on the production lines working again. With cars being affordable this opened up men's love of cars, no matter your place in society. It was highly encouraged to work hard and be at the top of the ladder. They cared about their looks and were not obese by any means. Masculinity? It was an idea started here, for sure. Maybe even toxic masculinity. 

Great depression breadline in 1932
 However, 1930 was The Great Depression, and thus, men lost jobs and could provide less for their families. Some could provide nothing. Some of the women were taking jobs so the family could get by. Some men deserted their families out of frustration, which is called abandonment in legal terms and then called "poor man's divorce" in slang. Marriages were breaking because the family life and financial hardship were becoming too much. A couple couldn't afford a divorce, in many cases. Men's suicide rate went up because they couldn't provide.

Unless, of course, you worked a farm. Then not much changed. You probably hadn't had much to begin with and didn't need that many groceries. You had your meat, veggies, fruits all provided without the need to go shopping. Less time at the movies, perhaps, but the average farm family didn't suffer as much as those in the city who needed to buy their food. These farm folks were already selling eggs before the depression hit, anyway.


1940s/1950s - World War II was now happening. Men went to fight and women took their place in the workforce while managing the home. Some men found the changes in women, as more than a homemaker, to be a threat to manhood. The ideal man was a soldier, so civilian (nonmilitary) men were not as "manly". If you weren't for the war, well, you weren't popular at all. Men who didn't want to be soldiers were not treated well. 

1950s Family
1950 rolled around and we have more of the post-war "let's create a normal society" game. We all know this is the era of playing house, and as you'd expect, men did not get the short end of the stick on this one. Patriarchy was restored. Men returned from war with the GI bill, which paid for men's education. Men pursued careers and were able to marry almost immediately without the financial burden of paying for schooling. They could support large families. Men returned to the workforce and women were sent home. 

Even with all this, some men were threatened by women who still wanted to remain in the workforce. After women got the pill, the men lost some of the control over the family that they had because women could now control their number of offspring. It leveled the gender playing field because men had less choice of how many kids they raised. The patriarchy was not so secure after that. On top of this, they were taught to only show emotions related to anger. That still applies some places today.

The Brady Bunch TV Show 1970
1960s/1970s -   Vietnam had happened by now. Men were still feeling threatened by women in the workforce and divorce was more common. Men were involved in activism, like Martin Luther King Jr. . The social conventions of the previous era were gone because the next generation had rejected them. If one was into cohabitation before marriage, it started here. 

1970 ushered in egalitarian marriage, that is, men and women iboth the public and domestic sphere together. You see that today. Men were now helping their wives raise their children and being active fathers. Divorce was still common. Men were now competing with women even more for jobs that men traditionally held.

1980s/1990s -  At this point, social changes in gender don't dramatically change. The egalitarian marriage stuck and divorces were still happening. Both genders are working and raising children together. 

Crocodile Dundee II  Movie
The ideal image of a man had changed, though. Movies in the 80s portray independent, attractive, and non-virgin men. With that comes the idea of someone who can take care of himself and has experience under his belt. The average man is kind of left in the dust, but that isn't unusual when it comes to Hollywood. The ideal man in the films was rough around the edges, not clean cut.

Gay men being more accepted in society and the "don't ask don't tell" rule came into play around the 1990s. Also, no gay marriage was legal here. At this point we also have stepfamilies going on, that is, blended family. Remarrying to a spouse with children from a previous marriage was considered okay. For example, The Brady Bunch is a blended family.

2000 to now -  Nowadays we are almost all egalitarian when it comes to marriages, gay marriage is legal, divorce is still going on, women are in the workforce, and it is acceptable for men to stay home with the kids. We are not dealing with the previous years of strict gender roles. If you want to stay with the kids, you can, but if you want to work you can do that, too.

Men have more permission to be sensitive and emotional, though the "man box" still exists to this day. Toxic masculinity is still out there in some places, and if you want to know more I have a blog on that topic. In short, toxic masculinity is the idea that men can't express their emotion and must be dominant and aggressive to be a man. Yes, the world is changing, but I wouldn't say that this type of masculinity is extinct. It is the cause of most PTSD, so let's make that type of masculinity extinct and let men be healthy human beings who can express their emotions.















*Warning, while my source for 1920s manhood was a good mental picture of their expectations, it was not an article that has clean language, or positive opinions on men today.*
Sources:
https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1988-07-24-8801170540-story.html
https://www.encyclopedia.com/social-sciences/culture-magazines/1990s-lifestyles-and-social-trends-topics-news

pictures:
right sidebar - must gaze video
mental floss
Iowa Department of Culture
cosmoprof
TV Series Finale
gone with the twins
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