men's expectations- a brief timeline of men's lives

Men have expectations put on them, just like women do. Today I'm going to break down what was expected of them from the 1800s to now. (If you want to see what was expected of women, read my previous post.)

Men have gone to war, gone to work, enforced the law, and done the dirty work in society (by dirty work I mean manual labor) for centuries. Unlike women, they were generally expected to be out making the money and fighting wars for most of their lives. Without further ado, let's go into the specifics of what was expected when.

What's Expected and When

1800s -  No surprise here, they were the breadwinners. To be a breadwinner here means to be working a trade or factory job, being a pastor, or being a civic leader in the community. They were responsible for their families. When it came time to fight the elements or the civil war, you fought for your family and their survival. This was a tough time to be anyone, but especially so if you were male and had to protect your household. 

WWI propaganda poster

1900s - Wartime, World War I, was in swing, so men were sent off to war while women took their place on the assembly line. Strangely, men were considered less moral than women. Even though men dominated ministry positions, that didn't make a dent in the idea men were less moral. Given the women's suffrage movement was beginning, the new movement was probably the cause for that. 

1920s/1930s -  After the wars passed, the family home settled into what it had been, which was men leading the family and general patriarchy. They came home to the families that missed them. Factories were in full bloom. Men were on the production lines working again. With cars being affordable this opened up men's love of cars, no matter your place in society. It was highly encouraged to work hard and be at the top of the ladder. They cared about their looks and were not obese by any means. Masculinity? It was an idea started here, for sure. Maybe even toxic masculinity. 

Great depression breadline in 1932

 However, 1930 was The Great Depression, and thus, men lost jobs and could provide less for their families. Some could provide nothing. Some of the women were taking jobs so the family could get by. Some men deserted their families out of frustration, which is called abandonment in legal terms and then called "poor man's divorce" in slang. Marriages were breaking because the family life and financial hardship were becoming too much. A couple couldn't afford a divorce, in many cases. Men's suicide rate went up because they couldn't provide.

Unless, of course, you worked a farm. Then not much changed. You probably hadn't had much to begin with and didn't need that many groceries. You had your meat, veggies, fruits all provided without the need to go shopping. Less time at the movies, perhaps, but the average farm family didn't suffer as much as those in the city who needed to buy their food. These farm folks were already selling eggs before the depression hit, anyway.

1940s/1950s - World War II was now happening. Men went to fight and women took their place in the workforce while managing the home. Some men found the changes in women, as more than a homemaker, to be a threat to manhood. The ideal man was a soldier, so civilian (nonmilitary) men were not as "manly". If you weren't for the war, well, you weren't popular at all. Men who didn't want to be soldiers were not treated well. 

1950s Family

1950 rolled around and we have more of the post-war "let's create a normal society" game. We all know this is the era of playing house, and as you'd expect, men did not get the short end of the stick on this one. Patriarchy was restored. Men returned from war with the GI bill, which paid for men's education. Men pursued careers and were able to marry almost immediately without the financial burden of paying for schooling. They could support large families. Men returned to the workforce and women were sent home. 

Even with all this, some men were threatened by women who still wanted to remain in the workforce. After women got the pill, the men lost some of the control over the family that they had because women could now control their number of offspring. It leveled the gender playing field because men had less choice of how many kids they raised. The patriarchy was not so secure after that. On top of this, they were taught to only show emotions related to anger. That still applies some places today.

The Brady Bunch TV Show 1970

1960s/1970s -   Vietnam had happened by now. Men were still feeling threatened by women in the workforce and divorce was more common. Men were involved in activism, like Martin Luther King Jr. . The social conventions of the previous era were gone because the next generation had rejected them. If one was into cohabitation before marriage, it started here. 

1970 ushered in egalitarian marriage, that is, men and women iboth the public and domestic sphere together. You see that today. Men were now helping their wives raise their children and being active fathers. Divorce was still common. Men were now competing with women even more for jobs that men traditionally held.

1980s/1990s -  At this point, social changes in gender don't dramatically change. The egalitarian marriage stuck and divorces were still happening. Both genders are working and raising children together. 

Crocodile Dundee II  Movie

The ideal image of a man had changed, though. Movies in the 80s portray independent, attractive, and non-virgin men. With that comes the idea of someone who can take care of himself and has experience under his belt. The average man is kind of left in the dust, but that isn't unusual when it comes to Hollywood. The ideal man in the films was rough around the edges, not clean cut.

Gay men being more accepted in society and the "don't ask don't tell" rule came into play around the 1990s. Also, no gay marriage was legal here. At this point we also have stepfamilies going on, that is, blended family. Remarrying to a spouse with children from a previous marriage was considered okay. For example, The Brady Bunch is a blended family.

2000 to now -  Nowadays we are almost all egalitarian when it comes to marriages, gay marriage is legal, divorce is still going on, women are in the workforce, and it is acceptable for men to stay home with the kids. We are not dealing with the previous years of strict gender roles. If you want to stay with the kids, you can, but if you want to work you can do that, too.

Men have more permission to be sensitive and emotional, though the "man box" still exists to this day. Toxic masculinity is still out there in some places, and if you want to know more I have a blog on that topic. In short, toxic masculinity is the idea that men can't express their emotion and must be dominant and aggressive to be a man. Yes, the world is changing, but I wouldn't say that this type of masculinity is extinct. It is the cause of most PTSD, so let's make that type of masculinity extinct and let men be healthy human beings who can express their emotions.

*Warning, while my source for 1920s manhood was a good mental picture of their expectations, it was not an article that has clean language, or positive opinions on men today.*

Sources:

https://oureverydaylife.com/mens-roles-1800s-8698379.html

https://oureverydaylife.com/were-roles-men-women-1900s-8623722.html

https://www.hiddendominion.com/masculine-men-of-1920s/

https://www.history.com/news/life-for-the-average-family-during-the-great-depression

https://www.nationalww2museum.org/war/articles/gender-home-front

https://www.theclassroom.com/gender-roles-of-men-in-the-1950s-12083408.html

http://themaneffect.com/thejourney/what-the-60s-taught-us-about-manhood

https://history.house.gov/Exhibitions-and-Publications/WIC/Historical-Essays/Changing-Guard/Identity/

https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1988-07-24-8801170540-story.html
https://www.encyclopedia.com/social-sciences/culture-magazines/1990s-lifestyles-and-social-trends-topics-news

pictures:
right sidebar - must gaze video
mental floss
Iowa Department of Culture
cosmoprof
TV Series Finale
gone with the twins

What was expected of women - a brief overview

Women today have a choice of what to wear. We aren't expected to be housewives all our lives, be stay at home moms for life, or focus solely on finding a husband. We can now be single, working women. We can be married working women, too, thanks to the changing times and the freedom we have acquired in today's era. If you so desire you can be a stay-at-home mom, but it's a choice you can make for yourself. The point? We have a choice.

1950s ad for a mixer 

I'm going to give you a brief overview of every era up to now. Coming up next week is the men's side of expectations up until now. 

The Overview

 1800s-  Your status, in this case, matters. Middle and upper-class white women had the expectation of educating the kids. Either way, you stayed home and raised the kids. Being in the public sphere wasn't a woman's place, according to that society. There were white women writing, usually under a different, male, name. While some did that, others used their actual names.

women sewing in factories in 1800

African descent meant being slaves, most of the time. African American descent had a role in their tribal public spheres, but not white public spheres. White society overlooked Native American
society often. 

  Some women went into higher education and founded schools. The abolition movement was getting started at this point. There were limitations to speaking in public life, however, and that led them to fight for more voice. Work, mostly sewing, was being introduced with the invention of the sewing machine, and many women did work, especially if they were widowed. 

1900 working women

1900s -  Still, it was assumed women were domestic. If you were upper class, you found a husband and raised a family. Women were being more educated at this point. The direct result was exercising rights and contributing to the economy, as well speaking on their own behalf politically. Some were absorbed as workers in Mills. However, after World War I ended, the women who worked in place of men were sent back to the domestic sphere, just like another era I'm going to talk about. 

 1920/1930-  Flappers began around 1920, and this is the year of prohibition, the failed movement that caused more drinking than ever before. Attitudes towards women were changing. The right to vote was extended to women, so women had a political voice now(Though some remained convinced women were purely domestic, and this is coming from women and men). The political reforms for prisons and child labor were the fruit of women in the political sphere. 

College was not an expectation for women, like it is now, but when they did get educations it was for nursing or teaching. Women were not welcomed in with open arms, as a general rule, when it came to higher education, yet women were getting into colleges with more frequency. 

Women working wasn't the trend at this point, either, given that 15 percent of white and 30 percent of black women held down jobs. The popular opinion was that if the husband worked, the woman didn't. Young unmarried women were getting jobs more often. Think secretaries and retail, with young women. It was acceptable to live outside of home if you worked. By 1930 one in four women held a paying job. However, majority worked only until marriage. 

four flappers drinking-1920

Cigarettes among women became popular, as well, for sophistication and fashion. The flapper was
freedom for women, representing less restrictive rules for clothes and behavior. Women were now in the public sphere and more independent, along with more freedom from society rules. 

1940/1950 -   In 1940, the wartime call to join the army meant fewer jobs filled, and women filled those roles, though they were expected to return to the home afterward. Women, too, were being accepted into military roles, including intelligence operations that dealt with codes (though it was kept hush-hush to the point that it is barely known about). To replace the boys playing baseball, girls took their place at the call of Wrigley at Wrigley Field. Women were on top when the men were away. 

propaganda 1950 

1950 brought a national agenda for the return of normal, family-centered, life. This was also the cold war era, so there was general uneasiness. Women were highly encouraged to be purely domestic, in contrast to the propaganda that showed communists as just the opposite. It discouraged women from working because communist women worked miserably and put their kids in a cold daycare center. 

We went from Rosy the Riveter to "go back to the kitchen". 

You might be familiar with MRS degrees, that is, getting married out of high school or college, and probably not finishing your degree. Basically, you go to college to find a man. Though employment rose, media urged women to be domestic. Most had large families right away. Stay-at-home mothers were highly encouraged and women working when they were financially okay beforehand were considered selfish. 

While singleness was a bad sign then, single and pregnant was worse. They were sent away to homes for wayward women and shunned by society. Thus birth control was more of a need, either that or you obeyed society and only had sex in marriage. Sex was for marriage and considered a key part of a happy marriage. Without birth control, this meant having a lot of kids. When the pill came out there was much joy. 

1960

1960/1970 -     The sixties was yet another changing time. The birth control pill was a new invention, called Enovid. Women entered the workforce more, now able to control how many kids they had. They were being challenged to follow their dreams by Betty Friedan's book. The work world was adjusting work regulations. Women took on political roles once again. TV shows stuck with the 1950 dream, but movies were moving to women who didn't fit that mold. Women weren't held back as much anymore. Political roles grew as women's rights movements became bigger. Women were gaining government roles as they fought for more rights. 

1980/1990 -  The war on drugs was now in full swing, and the first lady Nancy Reagan started the "just say no" campaign. College was now becoming more and more common for women, mostly for library science, home economics, nursing, teaching, and social services. These weren't decision making jobs. Pay still wasn't equal. "Ms." was now a term used, and you can't tell marriage status from that. It was for privacy and lack of focus on marriage status. 

With movies, women had more leading roles. These were more mature roles, less sex symbols. We all know Hollywood still uses women for sex symbols, but there was less of that going on in 1980. 

From the movie Pretty Woman

1990 brought online work, with the internet, so women could work from home. Some still do, to this
day, and make good money. It also brought more sex symbols in movies back, and women's dependence on men. Men were more leading roles. 

College was even more popular here. Feminism was still alive here. Women were going for decision making jobs at this point in time.

Present day (2000s)

Today we don't have strict rules for female roles, from 2000 on. To be egalitarian in view means equal opportunity (and in marriage, equal partnership). That is now the majority in this present time. The time for strict roles is gone. You can do, more or less, what you want. 

Given that, there are still some limitations in some careers. Careers that are still dominated by men include truck driving, carpentry, construction, and automotive. The heavy lifting and hands-on dirty work are not presented as options for women most times, because we are either small human beings (I am at least, I'm short.) or we are pushed into college education. While there are exceptions to that rule, as always, most females aren't running towards the labor-intensive jobs because they are presented as men's work by ads, and when night work comes into the picture some worry for their safety as a woman. That doesn't mean you can't do these jobs if you are female. All that means is that you are one of the few if you do.

This has been an overview of women in society and what is expected of us. Next week tune in for the men's side of things. Merry Christmas! God bless us, every one!

Pictures:
the classroom
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all that's interesting

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medium
the study
Hollywood Reporter

fueloyal

Sources:

https://www.thoughtco.com/women-in-1800s-4141147

https://www.aresearchguide.com/lifestyle-middle-class-young-american-women-early-nineteenth-century.html

https://www.ncpedia.org/history/20th-Century/1920s-women

http://americanhistory1940-50.blogspot.com/p/role-of-women-during-1940s.html

https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/pill-mrs-america-womens-roles-1950s/

https://www.historycentral.com/sixty/Americans/WOMEN.html

https://sites.google.com/site/exploringtheseventies/home/politics/the-role-of-women-in-the-70-s

http://www.infobarrel.com/American_History_of_Women_in_the_1980s

http://www.infobarrel.com/American_History_of_Women_in_the_1990s

https://uiwomenscenter.wordpress.com/2015/10/22/women-throughout-the-decades/
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/08/success/women-male-dominated-occupations/index.html

chivalry - what is it really?

Chivalry, some of us think it is holding the door open for women and that is all. We'd be wrong, then. Chivalry code has to do with integrity as a knight, love, and battle. Yes, it does say treating women well is good, but it also has the guidelines to a fair fight.

Chivalry is the honor code of a knight. In Medieval times this was understood by all. It was a part of their society.  A knight was aggressive in battle, but honorable at home. There was etiquette when it came to women. Think King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table and you have the romanticized example.

The Code

According to The Song of Roland, this was the code knights adhered to. 

1. serve God/maintain Church  2. serve Liege Lord in valour/faith  3. protect the weak/defenseless

4. give aid (succour) to widows/orphans  5. refrain from offending  6. live by honor for glory 

7. despise being paid for reward  8. fight for welfare of all  9. obey authority  

10. guard fellow knights' honor 11. avoid unfairness/meanness/deceit  12. keep faith 

 13. speak truth  14. persevere to the end/finish tasks  15. respect/honor women  

The romanticized Chivalry

16. never refuse challenge from an equal   17. never turn back to foe

As you can see, only one of these is honor to women and the rest have to do with faith, public duty, and battle. Saving the damsel in distress does fall into the code as number three, protecting the weak and defenseless, but is also number fifteen. Knights were honorable people, if they followed this code. There were plenty that didn't.

Why it was created

The rise of knights meant a lot of hired thugs were around wearing armor and riding horses, while also wearing swords. They were prone to violence and sometimes rewarded with someone's blessing to plunder the land, raping, looting, and burning along the way. The code was a way to protect the elite's reputation, as well as protect the people below them, supposedly. 

The code was not always followed, and the fourth crusade, where the Pope told them not to sack Constantinople, and they did, was one of those times. The noble class got most of the respect, in the case of this code, because knights were into women of status and the code was to cover the elite's hind ends. The poor were not so lucky, in that way. Ordinary women weren't as respected. Only a few texts that referenced chivalry warned against burning towns and raping women, so the reality of chivalry was not as romantic as King Arthur led us to believe.

Chivalry today

Today our idea of Chivalry came from the romantic stories of knights romancing women. I'd say it can be summed up in one word; integrity and putting women on a pedestal. That is one code I can live with. 

After what I just learned about actual knights, I'd say that Knight's Tale is actually more accurate when it comes to the code and how knights actually acted. Is it overly accurate? Probably not, but my point is this; the way those knights acted was far more real than the romantic stories written about them. The character of Count Adhemar was an elite and treated William like dirt, and he went after only noble women, which is a better example of how it actually worked back then. 

Count Adhemar beside Jocelyn

Pictures:
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sources:
http://www.medieval-life-and-times.info/medieval-knights/code-of-chivalry.htm
https://www.history.com/news/chivalry-knights-middle-ages

Women's body image then and now

Body image has changed for women over time and anyone who pays attention to the ladies' fashion department knows. Looking at ads from all different time periods, the female gender has been told to gain weight and have curves, then lose weight to look like a store mannequin, all because of changing fashion trends.

This blog will include many ads from way back when that are not exactly nice to women, so if you are offended by them, just know that they are here to illustrate my point on changing body trends. They are here to show what society expected of women in that time period. Thank you for understanding.

From the Beginning

Starting from 1910 until now, let's dig into the changing trends.

The trend in 1910 was to have a tiny waist, referred to technically as a Gibson Girl.  A Gibson Girl body was a small waist with large hips and a soft body. Large curls were the usual touch, as well. It was a corset time period, but I could say that of a lot of eras. Being tall was a plus. 

1920 was a boyish era, and being short was now a plus. Smoking was a hot trend and having cleavage was discouraged. Naturally flat chest? You're in luck! Flappers are in, and so are attractive legs. 

And now we are back to having a waist in 1930. Add some more curve, but not as much as 1910. 

Increase bust size slightly and you have the trend down perfectly. 

1940s woman in torpedo bra

The 1940s began torpedo bras, so up that bust size to a ridiculous amount. Make your shoulders broader and make yourself 5'8". Soft became angular in this era. All this echoed the role of women taking over the factory work during the war. Soft was for home, not the factories. 

The hourglass shape started in 1950. Curves return, big time! Hip and butt padding was sold to achieve this look, should you not have the weight on you. Here we have Jessica Rabbit. Women were encouraged by ads in magazines to gain weight.  Big boobs were a thing. 

Twiggy, a stick of a model in 1960, started the exact polar opposite of Jessica Rabbit. Narrow hips, 5'6" height, anorexia galore, delicate features, and clothes hanging off you like you were a hanger are the trend. Weight loss time! This was just the beginning of the starving models that died at their own desire to be a twig. The goal was to have no stomach without the aid of a corset.

1970 rolls around and the flat stomach remains, just add a little more height. We're back to having B size boobs now. Spandex, a fabric that doesn't forgive easily, continued the fitness demand. Cigarettes are advertised for weight loss, too. 

1990s woman

1980 brings a continued love of flat stomachs. Being tall was a plus, once again, and a love for legs, again. Jogging and aerobics are a thing right now. Those cheesy exercise videos from the 80s were probably the start of those exercise weight loss DVDs you see now. 

Petite makes a comeback in the 90s, where small and boyish returns. Spanx were invented here. Low-fat diets were a trend. 5'7" is an average height that fits this era. Tall is out. 

2000 brought even more fitness and muscular abs. It seems that fitness never ends. Exposed midriff is a clothing trend here. Britney Spears fits in about here, if you want an example. 

The 2010 era is near to ending, so let's just spotlight that one. Butts were a big deal. Big butt? You fit the trend. Doesn't mention breasts, just butts, but I think the same concept applies to breasts. Listen to any music from 2010 and tally all the "butt" references you find, including images in music videos. You may just shock yourself with how much you ignored.

Ads and Society

Did you think that was the end? Far from it. I want to talk about the ads society puts in women's faces on TV, magazines, and media in general. I'm going to showcase the ads in every era in this section. If you're still reading, remember the warning above, about the ads not being particularly nice to women. 

1910 ads - 

The ads above are all real. You'll notice any images have a corsetted waist that looks really unhealthy and fat is the enemy. If one was bigger in body one was not in fashion or healthy, according to these ads.

1920 ads -

 Notice the lack of boobage and the ad for cigarettes aimed at women. Also, that fat was discouraged in both sexes.

1930 ads -

The ads here encourage weight gain and shape, and so many of the ads I'm not focusing on are about hygiene, but that can be another day's post.

1940 ads -

Being slim continues to be a trend. Also, every woman here has a noticeable waist.

1950 ads -

With these, you notice circle skirts are the fashion and that women were focused on men, that is, if you followed the fashion advice of these ads.

1960 -

 These women don't have a lot of shape, and as illustrated by the middle ad, we see that women with shape weren't trendy. Also, cigarettes "made you slim" according to the ad on the far right.

1970 -

Dodge charger 1970

The 1970s was a time of wanting bigger bustlines. Society wanted women with more on top.

1980 -

Once again, selling cigarettes to women continues. Also, women are wearing looser clothing and pants more often. A flat stomach pursuit is obvious by the far right ad, starring an actress from I Dream of Genie.

1990 - 

Midriffs were major here, so were legs. Two of these ads are Versace and both are midriff styles. Madonna on the far right is wearing a midriff with jeans, and in my opinion, looks nicer than the far left or center ad. 

2000 - 

 The one to the left is a "got milk" poster, you know, the ones everyone saw in the school cafeteria. This one looks less than innocent, I'd say given her open shirt and her position.

The one on the right is a magazine cover for a prom magazine. Most of the other ads were for makeup, the ads I didn't put here. Makeup could be another day's blog post subject.

2010 -

Dove Campaign

The women's health cover on the far left illustrates that fat is still the enemy and society still wants flat stomachs. The Dove campaigns affirm all body types, judging by the different tones and shapes on the picture. What I also notice is they all have waists and curves. We can't tell much about Ariana Grande on the far right. All I know is that she is fond of showing skin, another growing trend. 

My Point

Why all the ads? Well, here's the point I'm trying to make. The ads reflect the culture. The less sexist the time, the less sexist the ads. At this point in time sexist ads get nailed almost as soon as the debut because of feminists and more vocal women. I can't say the same for 1910-1960, however, and frankly, I'm appalled at what was told to women through those ads. Sexism is still out there, but compared to the eras before us, we did get somewhere.  

Sources:

https://greatist.com/grow/100-years-womens-body-image#8

Pictures:

my modern met                              etsy

stuff nobody cares about               messynessychic

tribupedia                                    harper's bazaar

web urbanist                                refinery 29

stanford research                          the rage

ebay                                              huffpost

witness2fashion                           billboard

sammy davis vintage                   women's health

pinterest                                       demilked.com

all that's interesting

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flickriver

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vintage clothes/fashion ads of 1950

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representations of women and girls in the media

university of leeds

motor1.com

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ebid

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