What's the difference between an introvert and extrovert? I have a previous blog on that topic if you're confused or don't know the difference. If you click on the archives it will be there.
This post is about writing introverts, specifically from the perspective of an introvert.
Everyday conversations
When it comes to personal friends, we can talk your ear off or be completely comfortable sitting beside someone, but when it comes to people we just met or large crowds we can become bored, lonely, or uncomfortable, which then leads us to be quieter, and instead turn our attention to the dog in the living room or reading people in silence. Comfortable silence is sitting beside a friend reading; uncomfortable silence is looking around the crowded space full of people while trying to decide what to do and who to interact with.
This concept is wonderfully illustrated by a scene in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Scott is standing awkwardly at a loud, crowded party holding a drink beside Young Neil, who is doing the same. He then goes to pee out of boredom a minute later, after saying the party sucks. This is an uncomfortable introvert with no one to talk to (Scott is definitely an introvert, by my definition).
Something else to keep in mind when writing introverts is eye contact. In my personal experience, eye contact is reserved for close friends and family. When I listen I make eye contact, but not when I speak. I can't explain why this is. It's just how I'm wired. Other characters may find this strange and try to force your character to look them in the eye (it can happen, especially in a theatre setting and dating relationships). Be aware of this as you write interactions and conversations.
Communication Preference
Verbal is not my strongest form of communication. It's a common issue for introverts and your introverted character. Your character will be planning interactions ahead of time (in their head) and trying to read someone's possible response. You may need to look up specific personality types to see what your character's issues and strengths are, so be prepared to do that. I am an INFJ, something to keep in mind when you hear my perspective.
Written, on the other hand, makes me sound far less awkward and bolder than I am in person. Not having to look someone in the eye and being able to plan out responses has a lot to do with that. Also, most writers are introverts, so you can partially thank us for the novels you're reading in your spare time. Your character may text more than call, most times.
One on one or small groups are also preferred by introverts. It takes time to plan a response, so large groups of people interrupting us before we get to our point is extremely annoying, thus one-on-one is much better when we have something important to say or want to connect with someone. Small groups also allow us less interruption and help us voice our thoughts. The more openings to say what we're thinking without having to interrupt, the better!
Recharge time and energy
Introverts have been described as hermits or turtles that need to be "pulled out of our shells" and that we need to "put ourselves out there", but the truth of the matter is that we can't have constant company and forever be mentally "on" because our introvert battery (or tolerance for people in general) would be zapped. We need time alone or time in a quiet environment to recharge our batteries. This would be places like our person homes, our bedrooms, outdoors, libraries, and coffee shops. Everyone has their favorite recharge spaces, so it depends on the environment you place your character in. If another character steps into that space uninvited, it would be more real to show your introvert being annoyed or short with the other character.
If your character has no personal space and constantly shares a living space with others, this is going
to end in introvert hangover (extremely low battery and isolating themselves) and bad interactions with whomever they live with (especially when pushed to do something they don't want to). Keep this in mind when you put your introvert in a place or situation with no space to recharge. It will impact your dialogue and character interactions.
People that give and take energy
What some people don't realize, especially extroverts, is that human interaction costs us energy from our introvert batteries. There are some people who give energy and some people who cost energy. The energy vampires, however, are the worst. I'm going to go through the basics on these three types.
1. battery chargers -
These people are bright and cheery every time you see them, always positive, too. Introverts seek these people out because they don't cost us energy to interact with them. They brighten our days and put us in a positive mood. These are the exceptions, not the rule.
2. average joe -
The general population of people who can read body language and social cues go here. Some both cost and give energy, thus end up neutral. Some cost energy, but only a small amount, and same for giving energy. This is the majority of people your character will run into and interact with. Most of the population does know social cues to varying degrees.
3. energy vampires -
This particular type of person is to be avoided like they have the plague if you are an introvert. Energy vampires drain you in less than ten minutes. Generally, these people are toxic to your introverted character for two reasons. One, they are taking advantage of your character, or, two, they are nice with no sense of social cues and when to stop talking. I find it important to say that this doesn't mean they are being intentionally annoying or distractive. Sometimes these individuals are just different, but it is slightly possible someone is being nasty to you in this situation if you feel used. Run (if you can)!
learning by observation
When I take in an environment it is with my eyes and ears, not my mouth. Unless I genuinely can't figure something out, I observe. Your introverted character will do more physically than verbally while adjusting to a new setting, so don't make them spout their thoughts verbally like a fountain. Introverts don't speak all their observations out loud, leading to some people jumping to the conclusion that they didn't understand, only because there was no dynamic reaction to see or hear. It is more realistic to have them observe quietly and ask only the necessary questions. Don't depend on dialogue to reveal their thoughts; that isn't how we're wired.
common misunderstandings
Misunderstandings are many, especially when you live in a world built for extroverts. Here are some that I have experienced:
-assuming you didn't see/understand because there was no large reaction
-assuming anything about your thoughts/personality because someone can't read you
-assuming you aren't participating because you didn't speak or speak well in class/during a presentation
-people thinking you need to be pulled out of your shell
What I have discovered is that assumptions are the most common misunderstanding there is, so please ask us what we're thinking before you assume anything to be true. If you make an effort to understand someone first it is a much better outcome. Keep this in mind for you character development and interactions, whether you cause the best or worst outcome to happen.
Want to hear about any specific topics next? Comment and let me know! I'd be happy to hear from you. Thank you for reading and God bless!
Pictures:
alamo drafthouse cinema
wanna-joke
teepublic
alamo drafthouse cinema
wanna-joke
teepublic
the magnet - ongig
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