The Spy Who Loved Me by Ian Fleming - a review

 I opened this book to read something other than a romance with sex in my office. Well, I failed in that regard, because this is the most sexual James Bond book, yet, starting with the perspective of a woman taken advantage of. We remain in her perspective the whole time. Let's dig in (knowing this book is for ages 18 and over). 

Courtesy of Pinterest

The plot of this is nothing like the movie. Note this and throw the plot you watched into the void. I was blindsided by the whole beginning because no other Bond (Fleming or otherwise) began like this one. Ian Fleming himself wasn't happy with the reader response, therefore the movie is what it is because he only authorized the title use. Apparently, the prologue explains that the story was given to Fleming because the woman had a relationship with Bond, but my library copy didn't have the prologue. It started with Part One and I missed out on that section. 

 It begins with the perspective of Vivienne alone in a closed Motel, reminiscing about two horrible love affairs. The first was a man who shoved her into having sex and didn't care if she enjoyed it. He broke up with her via letter and was engaged to someone else. The second was a German man who was kind to her until she became pregnant. He cheerfully suggested abortion and she had one done. After talking about these two horrible men, she describes purposely traveling on a Vespa scooter and a tight budget. This time she enjoyed herself immensely. This concludes Part One, where she explains how she got to this motel setting in the first place. 

Part Two is all about the motel and the Phancey couple running it. Mr. Phancey was a dirty old man whose wife watched him, but never stopped him from being inappropriate. The couple offers her a receptionist job for the final two weeks of the season. Vivienne could use the money, free food, and free room. She says yes to this thinking maybe she can get a reference for other jobs. After dodging Mr. Phancey's hands and doing her two-week job, she's casually told the couple will be leaving. They ask if she can stay until the owner comes for the keys. All she has to do is turn off the lights and lock the doors. They left her entirely alone at this place to meet the owner. This whole time she's been waiting until morning. Someone knocks on the door. Two men show up claiming to know the owner and she doesn't let them in at first. Mr. Thompson (metal-like teeth and black eyes) and Mr. Jones (short, pale blue eyes, no hair on his head or face) came in and she immediately regretted letting them in. They basically turn out to be not named what they said. She's in serious danger of rape based on what "Sluggsy" (Jones) said to her. "Horror" (Thompson) tells him to cool his jets and gives the man orders. Most of Vivienne's inner dialogue now centers on defending herself and how to escape, all while she makes them food. She makes a run for it and hides in the woods. The two men find her. She's hit repeatedly after defending herself and wakes up naked in the shower of her cabin. She had managed to hit Horror with an icepick once as he hit her. Sluggsy tells her to clean up and come make them food. She cleaned herself up, made food, and ate her own. Sluggsy hits on her again and she flings the knives and forks of a drawer in his direction. This ends in a fight and near rape. 

Part Three is the buzzer going off, as everyone freezes mid-fight/rape. She fully opens the door with some quick thinking and finds a man there at the door. He's English and got a flat tire. Yes, this is Bond. While Vivienne has a gun in her back, she has to act as a front and still alert that something is wrong. The Vacancy sign she never turned off saved her life. She points to go in while telling him the sign is on by accident. She keeps beckoning with her finger. The man listened to her finger beckoning. He talks to the men about staying the night and they offer a hand with his flat. He insists on claiming a room. She managed to talk to him while helping him get his bag, and he understood completely that she was in danger. While examining the flat, Bond arms himself and tells her what cabin to give him. Sluggsy won't give him the key to 10, just 40. Bond asks for some food and he sits assessing the situation. He talks to her, getting all the information. He talks to Vivienne to calm her down as she serves him dotingly. Vivienne also seems to like Bond a lot, partly because he's her only escape and partially because she likes him. He'd been protecting a defecting Russian nuclear expert by impersonating him so he couldn't be killed. They all go to sleep at around midnight. Bond helps her secure her cabin. He gives Vivienne a handgun. I think Fleming fantasized a bit about how women saw Bond, but that's Fleming for you. Sluggsy managed to attack her, despite all those precautions. Bond managed to save her after she fell unconscious. The gangsters had set fire to the whole motel. Vivienne was supposed to be blamed for it and the owner wanted the insurance money and scapegoat. James faked his body to make sure the two thought he'd been in his cabin. They thought he was dead. Bond instructs her on what to do. Bond went after the men directly after. Gunfire battle ensued amongst the fire. The two ended up driving into the lake. We read more fantasizing about what women thought of Bond. 

Courtesy of mi6-hq.com

And then we have a shower and the second sex scene comes up. I read this in my office, again. Unfortunately, Fleming doesn't understand what women like in sex. Fleming clearly didn't talk to women about his writing. This was where I found the sexist comment that made me want to throw the book - if I'd had it in my physical possession. Fleming, I have words for you. You were doing great until this moment. In a female perspective, he says all women like semi-rape, which is blatantly wrong. This was interrupted by Sluggsy's face peering in and more gun fighting. As usual, Bond sleeps with a gun under his pillow (no shock there). Then they go at it again, to my annoyance, though fortunately, it was brief. In the morning he was gone. I was kind of glad to not have another sex scene. She reads Bond's last letter. The police show up and get her information, bringing food with them. She's warned that some people fighting against crime and doing crime can be cold killers. She's warned to keep away from these people-including Bond. They let her go on traveling after they took her statement. 

Overall Thoughts

 It surprised me to hear Fleming write from a woman's perspective. It wasn't the worst I've ever seen, but he doesn't understand what women want in sex. No woman likes Semi-rape, ever! I wanted to throw the book. It means he can write from a female perspective unless he's writing about women talking about sex, which is fascinating after the sexism found in other books. Bond is nowhere to be seen for a good part of the book. You do find the sexism in the woman's perspective, making it clear a man wrote a woman, but it's better than I expected for Fleming (who has a sexist comment or two in every single Bond book). He still had sexist comments in this one. It did not shock me. 

It might surprise you, after I said he was sexist, to hear I collect James Bond novels. I enjoy them - minus the moments of sexism that pop up at random. He wrote these in the 1950s, a sexist time. I know  that and still value his writing of action and spy adventure. I don't think this one is a five star one. It's more like, oh, 3.5 stars because I had to endure more sex than he usually includes and less action/adventure. I didn't ask for the rape and shower scenes. I wasn't into that. The rest of it was still quite good. Again, it was just so strange to hear a woman's perspective from a man who can put sexist moments in all his books. It's not my favorite of the Fleming collection, but still worth reading. Please choose a private place to read this. It's more like his short stories if anything. 

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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have 5 five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback, hardcover, or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page. 

Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.

It's In His Kiss - a Bridgerton Review

 I love the Bridgerton book series. Today I'm reviewing Hyacinth's storyline. Let's get into it. 

Courtesy of bookoutlet.com

Hyacinth Bridgerton is the youngest Bridgerton and the 7th book. I have all the books and love them all dearly. This is a spoiler-heavy review, so if you want to go in blind please come back later. It doesn't take all that long to read. I'm going right into the events of the book after this paragraph. You've been warned. Oh, and all Bridgerton books have spice. Be warned of sex scenes in every single one. 

The Main Events

We begin by learning why Gareth St. Clair is estranged from his father. He was almost forced to marry a woman who had a child's mind and refused. He's also a bastard who was accepted as legitimate because his father cared about his reputation. Basically, his father hates him. They part ways and avoid each other in the present storyline. 

The other side of the romance begins with Hyacinth going with Penelope to the Smythe-Smith performance, which is always bad. Lady Danbury has forced her grandson, Gareth St. Clair to meet her there. Hyacinth has some conversations with him and some emotions, and then they leave. Later she's reading to Lady Danbury, who's trying to set her up with Gareth, and Gareth comes over with a journal his grandmother kept. He needs it translated from Italian and Hyacinth agrees to attempt translating it. 

The next time they met was at a horrible poetry reading, involving a family with no talent. They sat together where both Lady Danbury and Mrs. Bridgerton made them sit alone (by pretending not to see the open seat beside them). Lots of witty remarks were exchanged and I loved it all. He asks about the journal after the horrible performance. Lady Danbury and Mrs. Bridgerton then remind Gareth of a ball invitation from one of the Bridgertons. 

The ball the Bridgerton family hosted leads to a dance with Hyacinth, who is not good at dancing. In the gentleman's bathroom/lounge, Gareth has a run-in with his father despite Hyacinth trying to keep them apart. His high emotions lead him to roughly kiss Hyacinth (she doesn't mind the kiss) and he goes in for another, only for her to run. He comes back to hear more of the diary (expecting maybe to have it returned after his conduct) and finds out diamonds are hidden in his father's home. His father has no idea they exist and the pair go on a heist. 

This heist starts with Gareth picking her up from her house and noticing how her men's pants (because who heists in a skirt?) outline her figure. He'd rather not have wanted her more, but here he is noticing her figure. It was the only black she could find, apparently. They find a slip of paper (Italian words) in a hidden compartment after breaking in, avoid detection from the butler, and get out. 

Gareth returns and finds out what it's like to have more than one sibling. He meets her family and they go on a walk. Just before that we get an absolutely hilarious sibling encounter with Hyacinth and her brother Gregory (who makes a joke about Hyacinth possibly having lisping children). It had me dying of laughter and I marked the page for future reference. Things heat up on this walk, but not quite in the most romantic way. Gareth's father shows up and converses in a way that has hidden context. Gareth abruptly says he'll drop her home and go have a drink. Hyacinth doesn't stand for this and they have a vulnerable conversation, where they kiss for the second time - much more sensitively and better- and Gareth immediately stops himself from ruining her. Gareth goes straight to Lord Bridgerton (Anthony) to ask for her hand and marry her the right way. It ends up being a conversation with interesting turns. He now (stupidly) thinks that she would back out if he knew he was illegitimate and thinks he should compromise her to move up the wedding date. He proposes to Hyacinth in front of Lady Danbury and the pair get really excited without going all the way. They stop because Lady Danbury owns a telescope and might just watch. 

Courtesy of goodreads.com

Gareth is now looking to compromise her to push the wedding plans forward, before his father drops the other shoe and exposes him as illegitimate (though, given a previous book, the Bridgerton family probably doesn't care whether he is legitimate - see Benedict's storyline for context). Now is where he puts into action the foolish idea that he as to make sure she can't back out - because his father planted that idea in him by saying "she won't have you" due to being illegitimate. It makes me sad that he thought he had to compromise her before his father dropped the other shoe about his real bloodline. Basically, sex is happening at this point (pg. 241, if you need to stop reading in public before this). It is fully consensual sex, with input from both parties on what they like, and still has witty dialogue in between actions. I'm impressed with this writing because it models sex in a way other books don't. Both people are participating and enjoying themselves. One is not dominating the other; it is a partnership. By the end Gareth is tired and Hyacinth is a ball of energy ready to conquer the world. She leads a tired Gareth to their original heist plans shortly after. 

Now onto the heist plans, they steal into the library and find the right book with a clue - only neither can read it. On the way back Gareth's father shows up to antagonize him in the street ( with Hyacinth hidden around a corner). His father throws in his face that he made the involuntary betrothal to the neighbor girl legal and he now has to deal with that. Hyacinth is not there when Gareth peers around the corner. He catches up to her and doesn't get there in time to explain. She's now back in the servant's quarters entrance and he didn't get to explain himself. He climbs in her window to talk to her, gets in an argument with her because she thinks he was marrying her to get back at his father (so, not mad about the other betrothal), and he climbs back down to discuss the issue another day. 

Violet Bridgerton correctly figures out the pair argued about something after Gareth didn't call for a few days. Without revealing her lack of virginity, she gets advice from her mother while badly embroidering a flower into a duck, then a tabby cat. Her mother jokes that if words don't work, hit him with a book. It's a delightful scene where she realizes she needs to come to him, not Gareth coming to her. Meanwhile Gareth resolved to act and Hyacinth shows up at his home. After some discussion of their heist clues, they come to the point. Gareth tells her that his father isn't his father and (predictably) she doesn't care and loves him anyway. At page 309 you'll want to stop reading and wait until you are not in public. Then they make more heist plans and Gareth demands only he go on this next heist. 

Hyacinth reads with Lady Danbury, then later that night she translates more of the diary - finding an answer to one of Gareth's burning questions (his real father's name). Unfortunately, Gareth intended to heist that night and thought she was intruding to join him. Shocker of the decade, he looks like his father because his father's brother is his real father. At this point, they confess their love and have more fun (pg. 339 if you need to wait until you are alone). Hyacinth then wants to heist with him and he doesn't want her to go. She once again wins the day and goes with him. While there, they meet Gareth's fake father in the street and drop the bombshell on him politely. Gareth re-proposes and the epilogue is about Hyacinth still looking for the jewels. The extended epilogue shows her daughter finding the jewels, putting them back, and letting Hyacinth find them herself. 

Overall Thoughts

I love all the Bridgertons dearly. I love the family dynamic, the banter amongst family and the main characters, and the fun of the ride. Please note that these aren't clean romance, but they are well-written sex scenes. As characters go, these are just as good as any of the others. Gareth and Hyacinth got along right away, equal matches to each other. I love that we see chemistry right away. They both have brains and see each other as equals. Not only that, but they don't dominate each other in sexual situations. Communication was had the whole time. Five stars, just like all the others. 

I didn't dislike anything. I put the page numbers for the major sex scenes in for those who wish to skip them, or for those who wish to read this in a public place. There are three major scenes, not counting the kissing only ones. Please note this book series is for 18 and over. All the books will have sex in them. The one before this was more steamy than this one. This is the standard amount of sex scenes you'll see in the series. Most of them have two to four sex scenes in total. I'm not counting the extended epilogue in this case - as not all of you have that version of the book. 

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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have 5 five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback, hardcover, or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page. 

Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.

 

Murder Your Employer By Rupert Holmes - A Review

 I saw this book in a small bookstore in Cambridge. I couldn't pass it up. It was so unique I thought I'd never see it again. The library app has proven it is quite popular. It couldn't just immediately borrow the audiobook, which is a sign of popularity. I'm reviewing it because I loved it's humor and it is one of the best suspense novels I've ever read. 

rupertholmes.com

I know this one has an interesting, strange title but it is a comedy/suspense. It's a combination of Lemony Snicket, Agatha Christie, Detective Marlowe, and The Count of Monte Cristo vibes. I can't explain it any better than that. There are phrases in here that made me chuckle and mark the page - several pages. Describing the plot of such a unique book is a little weird. I'll do my best. It's best to just try it for yourself. You might not like it if you don't have a dark sense of humor or don't like dark suspense. It's a bit darker as you keep reading and the three students actually commit their murders. 

It is a mock-guide book on murdering people, with the idea that it came from a secret college for teaching murder. It shows the stories of "graduates" and their experiences after the main intro. It's clearly not real and clearly fiction. It has strange Snicket-like ideas paired with witty dialogue and phrases in character descriptions. One plotline reminds me of Agatha Christie crossed with Monte Cristo. If you think you'd like it or are unsure, pick it up at the library. I imagine the darker sense of humor appeals to a specific genre and crowd. If you like Lemony Snicket, Agatha Christie, or dark suspense in general you'll love this. 

The plot becomes suspenseful when it explores the three students' experiences. These include one man whose boss changed a plane design that was previously safe to fly in (until his boss built it differently), an assistant who has all her ideas stolen and is being blackmailed, and an actress who's been told her next quality role is either after leaving a studio or over someone's dead body. You see what campus looks like and learn why they want to commit the murder and who they encounter. I cannot spoil this for you. Read it yourself. Not sure? Try it. Love dark humor and Agatha Christie? Definitely try it. 

Courtesy of roeliareads.co.za

My Overall Thoughts

It's hard to summarize the plot when it is such a unique book. Let's be real. Read it for yourself. It's in the Libby app in ebook and audiobook (but be sure to get on the waitlist). I'm sure you can find the physical copy, too. I found it at both Books A Million and a small bookshop in Cambridge. 

You take the intellect of Agatha Christie, the revenge drive of The Count of Monte Cristo, the witty dialogue of Philip Marlowe, and the humor of Lemony Snicket to get this book's genre. They work together wondrously. I picked this up and laughed from page one. Nothing is meant to be taken seriously, but the suspense does get thicker as you read on. The characters are all quirky. It is a book I can pick up and mark witty lines in. This is purely dark humor and dark suspense. I was pleased when I opened the book and laughed for many chapters. I was also pleased to see the plot twists that make sense, but definitely twist your expectations. I give it five stars and put it in the same category as some of the best Agatha Christie mysteries. 

It starts comedic and becomes more suspense toward the body of the book, so it isn't a pure comedy. It is comedic still, so don't expect the dark humor to drop. It simply becomes more about the three students completing their "education" and "thesis". You discover more about them and why one is being blackmailed (so sad). The last section of the book is about them doing the actual murders - one of them being less prepared than the others. The book doesn't promise good endings for all of them in the beginning, which is something you should note. You shouldn't expect sunshine and rainbows in this book, anyway, so keep that in mind. 

It isn't gorey. I'm going to say it because I'd ask if I were considering it. It is not a gorey book, nor does it feature much blood at all. It's a lot of wit, humor, murder, poison, plotting, and revenge. It's not a gore-fest in any way, shape, or form. 

It does not contain outright sex. It suggests sex often but doesn't have a sex scene you can clearly point to. It suggests sexual misconduct in many of the employers in the book. Please don't read this if you are below the age of 18 or you don't understand what sex is. You won't endure a sex scene, but you will hear about sex throughout every student plotline. I don't believe this was intended for anyone below adulthood. 

Courtesy of audible.co.uk

Who this is for

Anyone who doesn't know how to read dark humor or sarcasm should avoid this. Anyone who can't handle or hates dark humor should not pick it up. This isn't sunshine and rainbows reading. You have to have a good sense of dark humor to love it. You also have to like suspense. It's in that genre for a reason. It also gives quite a creative variety of ways to commit murder (none gorey). Writers of suspense and horror might want to take notes on those methods (for the sake of character and plot NOT real-life murder). 

I get the feeling this was written for adults. It doesn't strike me as a Young Adult book, given its nature, but it depends highly on the person reading it. This has the feeling of adult suspense, not YA suspense. I wouldn't put this in front of someone younger than 18 or 19. If you are a parent, read it yourself first. I suggest doing this for any book you aren't sure of, but doubly so when the humor has a darker hue and sexual suggestions peppered in. You might have them wait to read it or not. It's your call, parents. Adults will have no problem reading it. Just know it contains sexual references and adult ideas. 

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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have 5 five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback, hardcover, or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page. 

Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.

Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame - A review

 My husband's well-loved copy of Wind in the Willows is now on our bookshelf. It's his favorite book and a major part of his childhood. I'm reading and reviewing it. Let's dive in. 

Courtesy of bibliodyssey.blogspot.co.uk

If you read this book, you know it is very much like frog and toad, but not frog and toad. You have talking human-like animals in a small community. They chat, row down the river, have picnics, and are generally silly creatures (in the best way). My husband loved this book so much the spine is falling apart (but not the pages). We started reading it together. I'm reading it twice because I need to finish it to review it. 

The Plot

We begin with Mole abandoning his spring cleaning, running into a Rat, and then going on a picnic/boat ride. We run into Otter, who asks why he wasn't invited, but Rat says it is a private picnic. Otter makes polite conversation and leaves. Mole has so much fun that he attempts to take the oars and dumps the boat. They both get back to warmth and spend the evening in Rat's home. Mole had to wait for his clothing to dry beside the fire and spends the night. In the coming weeks, Rat teaches Mole to row the boat and they spend time on the river together. 

Mole eventually asks to see Mr. Toad. We also learn Rat likes to mess with the ducks. He makes a silly little song about them and the ducks don't like it, nor does Mole. Mr. Toad turns out to be rich and is excited to see Rat. He wanted to talk to him about something rather important. He wants to travel in his new gypsy caravan. Rat only goes because Mole wants to and Toad insists he come. During their travels, Toad tries not to do any work while the other two make him do some work. The caravan got hit by a car and they returned to Toad Hall (Toad's home) via train. Toad was now tired of caravans and got his new toy, a motor car. 

Rat and Mole proceed to hang out more, Mole now asking to meet Badger, who doesn't like being with people. Rat doesn't want to call on him because he lives in the Wild Wood. Mole decides to go by himself. He gets lost in the dark and Rat (packing pistols, no less) goes to get him. They spend the night in a hollow tree and stumble (Mole injured) onto Badger's doorstep. They are invited in after Badger realizes who they are. He lets them in to warm (it's winter) themselves by the fire and asks about riverbank news. Toad has run his car off the road and wants another one. He'd crashed seven cars in total. Badger sends the pair to his guest room and they wake up to more guests. Two hedgehogs got lost on their way to school and Badger let them in for breakfast. Otter comes by to find Rat and Mole, then takes them home. 

On the way back, Mole suddenly smells his own home (which he hasn't been in for a bit) and gets homesick. Rat helps him find his way home and they get to Mole End. After a bit of cleaning up, they find some food. At the door, just like every year, caroling field mice showed up to sing. They all came in after their song, ate, and did a little play about pirates. They left, Christmas morning came, and Summer came around. 

In Summer, Badger came to Rat's home to say that Toad needed an intervention. Badger, Rat, and Mole march over to Toad Hall to confront him before he goes driving in his newest motor car. He promises Badger he'll stop, then takes it all back in mere minutes. They made him a prisoner in his own home, he got out, and then stole a car before he could control himself. He went to prison. The daughter of the jailer wanted to feed him by hand. She was allowed and brought food to him. She got his spirits back up to the point he was no longer sobbing into his straw. Eventually, she helped him escape. Many chapters later, he's still trying to get home dressed as a washerwoman.  He got picked up and given a ride, only for him to ask to drive and then crash the car. He avoids his captors, ending up in a river and washed right into Rat. 

Rat is put out with Toad and demands he wash up. They have a stern conversation over a meal, where Toad promises to be good. Then Rat tells him the stoats, weasels, and ferrets (wild wooders) took over Toad Hall. He stormed it, got run off by an armed ferret, and came back to Rat. He boated to the edge of the garden to try again. He ended up ruining Rat's boat in the process. He crawled back to Rat and Rat told him to cool his jets and eat dinner. Badger and Mole came over to plan. Badger reveals he knew of a passage, where they could attack without the guards being alerted. Rat gets weapons (swords and guns and sticks and handcuffs), Mole messes with the enemy in the washerwoman outfit, and they get on with the plan. They take the hall back successfully. 

The conclusion of the story is that Toad is no longer a boastful, foolish Toad, but a wise one. Rat, Mole, and Badger helped him get his home back. They also set him straight and made him see sense. He was a better Toad for listening to them. 

Overall Thoughts

It's a silly, funny tale you can read to any child or any adult. It's a little bit like Alice In Wonderland in tone, but without the nonsense poetry. It's four animal friends going on adventures and helping each other through life. They just happen to be talking animals. It's adorable. I could read this ten times over and laugh every time. It's all so silly. I like it. 5 stars, an easy 5 stars. 

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I wrote a book! I am delighted to say that I have 5 five-star reviews up on Amazon now, which is amazing. I hope you like it, too. If you're interested in buying a paperback, hardcover, or ebook version go to my website link in this blog or click here to go straight to my Amazon page. 

Jack Thomas is running from a past case. He's hiding in Wrenville. Is his past case catching up with him? 

Find out in my first book, Wrenville, a stand-alone suspense novel.